has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

most euthanizable mutuals of 2026

gavin mckenna walking into the leafs dressing room and seeing his captain hobbling around on one working leg, kniesy crying in the corner and willy strutting in with a full production crew for his youtube channel. and max domi is in the morgue.

the dumbest person alive has come to warn you that fruit has sugar in it

haha [following] you are reblogging my post

It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!

of course where would we be without “relax bro ain’t nobody takin it from u” but the truth is sometimes that’s not the case. sometimes no matter how hard you grip the world will take it from u…

you can have random one sided beef with ANYONE! it’s so beautiful. and it doesn’t cost any money!!!!!!

calling a mutual by their name and having to check you're right like omg what if they transitioned and changed their name in the twelve hours since i last saw them on my dash

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

loud warning

Rolling on the floor sobbing and crying and losing my mind at “GET INSIDE THE VAAAAAAAAAAN”

it is just obvious to me that if you opened your eyes for even one second you would realize that Big Sweat invented the idea of going outside in the summer to make you produce more sweat

good morning! remember every day is a chance to begin anew [breaks off and sits on the edge of the bed staring blankly for 23 minutes before running a hand down face like a tortured movie protagonist] my god where did it all go so wrong

torts showing up just to cost his team a pick and then leaving yeah they compressed the john tortorella experience into two months