eggs

“A few years ago, I was crying and whining at my mom and sister while I was really drunk. I asked my mom and sister… it wasn’t long after we’d moved. I asked them if they were happy. I got drunk and woke up my entire sleeping family, like some ahjussi. It had been my number one goal in life, you know, to make my mom and sister happy. They both woke up and told me they were happy. But I was so envious at the fact that they were able to reply that they were, indeed, happy. Because it wasn’t like that for me. I told them while sobbing: I want to be happy too. Then I felt like I’d done my mom and sister wrong. But from then on, I started contemplating about happiness. For about six months, I pondered specifically over what I would need to do to become happy. I think that time of transformation has come. I think I need to be happy, now. I must become happy. I am going to be happy.” 

“Like a broken record, she kept telling me that she loved me, it was very annoying. But when this became a regular part of my life and I took it for granted, she suddenly told me she didn’t love me anymore. I can still clearly remember the nauseating feeling I had when she said that. I should have been relieved, but that didn’t seem to be the case. In this world I can do 90% of the things she cannot do. The remaining 10% that she can do that I cannot do, she can do it in a way that no one else can. It is mostly because of that she touched me.”

#happykrystalday