p e o p l e w a t c h i n g

“Sorry but your costume is so iconic, Enz,” the blonde insisted, only realizing who it was once he’d turned around. “The chunky belt, the wig– it’s everything,” Dom complimented, gesturing to different elements of his costume as she went along. “My only note would be more sparkles– you could’ve definitely just rolled yourself around in some more glitter and it’d be flawless,” she added teasingly.

@enzoroshan

“I know.” Enzo couldn’t help but smirk, flipping the fake blonde hair over his shoulder as though he was exaggerating his point. “I couldn’t go with anything less than a queen and we all know that Miss Hannah Montana is the queen.” Enzo couldn’t help but snort, “I’m not sure Astrid would have been a fan of me trailing glitter around the house for the rest of eternity, but I did try and add extra sparkle with some eye shadow.” He told the other, closing one eye to show the other. “However, if I knew you were going as She-Ra I would have totally joined up with you and came as Bow. You know I love a crop top moment.”

ENZO ROSHAN + HALLOWEEN 2026

THEO: I kinda like that you did. You're not just cute, you're also proving to be quite the interesting person.

THEO: But pretty boys huh? I'm flattered.

THEO: Sounds like I would get along well with this roommate of yours.

THEO: So far you are anything but annoying.

THEO: Maybe you'll get the chance to take it up at some point.

ELIO: So he thinks I'm cute, well. Good to know I have both looks and personality, I'd hate to just be a pretty face after all.

ELIO: You say that like you don't know you're a pretty boy. Like you clearly own a mirror.

ELIO: I think the two of you would get on a little too well.

THEO: I feel like you've just told me the secret of life but instead it's how to get you to do exactly what I want. Fun. Maybe I oughta send you a photo of just that.

THEO: And now I really wish I could see what you would send me when drunk.

THEO: Are we complete strangers though? I'd say I know some things about you even if we've never met.

THEO: Well I mean, you could definitely try and see how far you get. I don't think I'm bad but not everyone would agree.

ELIO: shit.

ELIO: really shouldn't have spilled my guts to you like that huh, but this proves why i shouldn't be allowed to text pretty boys sober never mind drunk. if you send me a photo like that, it might kill me, just a heads up.

ELIO: i'd say it's not going to happen, but knowing my roommate and how she likes to drag me to bars and parties, it may. to my demise.

ELIO: no, i guess we're not. i do tend to overshare though, so that's probably why you know so much. feel free to tell me to shut it if it becomes annoying.

“I mean I don’t think I said it in those exact words but– sure, okay,” Dominique sighed as though in defeat. “Me being a huge buzzkill about something is very like me so… sorry? I can make it up to you in literally any way besides some sort of social event. A book, a coffee, a handmade flower crown… but no parties or nightclubs, Enzo. Please. Partygoers will eat my scrawny blonde ass alive.”

@enzoroshan

“This is why I need to start recording more of my conversations with people, so when they tell me they didn’t say something I can show them the receipts.” Enzo commented, crossing his arms over his chest as he listened to the other. “You think I would let them eat you alive, what kind of friend would I be if I just threw you to the sharks. Please.” He tutted, thinking for a second. “Alright, a counter offer, though I might still throw in the handsome flower crown because who would I be to turn that down.” He pointed out. “A big Fortescue’s take out order, pizza and any teen drama movie I want. Bonus points for letting me do your hair or painting your nails. I want to live my 2000′s high school girl teen move life.”

“I mean, same,” she nodded. “Quidditch bores me but watching them stretch along broomsticks? Nope. That bit could never get boring,” Astrid said, a dreamy look in her eyes as she zoned out, still looking towards the team. “Didn’t you hear about the all gay quidditch team here? The Magpies I think. Every member is queer– so don’t give me the spiel about quidditch being for straight men, unfortunately for me,” she gave a sigh. “That’s so hot though. I could totally see you with a hot ass quidditch player. Thick Scottish accent and thick ass thighs to go with it.”

Enzo looked to the other, eyes slightly wide as the other spoke, “Does my face look like I knew about all the gay quidditch teams, you think you would have told me this sooner. Especially since you’re so insistent that I get myself some ass.” Enzo continued. “God, what a beautiful fact I’m learning today. That sweet piece of knowledge has made my entire year and maybe I should start attending games more often.” Enzo let out a dreamy hum, “I’m not picky, they don’t have to be Scottish, but I am a leg man. That bit has to stay.”

THEO: Just what do you think you'll end up saying? Now I am curious. I feel like you need to get drunk just for me 😉

THEO: I mean, I've sent a text, completely sober to a wrong number and had a long ass conversation with them before.

THEO: Yeah, I did think you were already aware of that.

THEO: We've not done voice notes yet, have we? Well, at least with text you don't have to try and figure out what I'm saying. I've been told for those that aren't used to me it can be difficult sometimes.

ELIO: no, you're not allowed to utter the words just for me. because with those blue eyes, i would probably do anything you asked and that leads me back to being on the mortifying express.

ELIO: and if i did ever get drunk, i think i'd need to have my roommate put my phone in a locked box or something to spare me.

ELIO: i guess dating sites are a little like that i guess, i mean look at us. complete strangers and yet we text a lot.

ELIO: i was not.

THEO: Outlandish? Sounds like fun. It's the typos you gotta be careful of. Never know what you might send ;)

THEO: But I hear you. I feel being Scottish is a pretty good reason for me to get shit faced tonight.

THEO: Hope you enjoy yourself though. Sounds like you've got a fun friend on your hands.

ELIO: fun for you maybe, probably mortifying for me. like, looking into one way flight tickets to australia mortifying. i'm afraid to ask what kind of typos you've had in the past.

ELIO: you're scottish? learn something new about you everyday.

ELIO: but now i'm putting an accent to your face and it just makes you hotter which is really unfair.

ELIO: if i send anything outlandish or anything with a lot of typos tonight. please just delete them and pretend they never happened.

“See? What did I tell you? It’s worth it for the eye candy,” Astrid spoke aloud as the two of them stared at the Scottish national team at the bar. “If one of us doesn’t end up hooking up with one of them tonight then tonight has been an absolute failure, Enzo. One we will never speak of again.”

@enzoroshan​

“I will hand it to you, I was almost able to forget about the sport of it all and just concentrate on the sweaty men.” Enzo commented, sipping his drink out of his straw and staring at the team with his friend. “You say that but we both know you’re more likely to get in there compared to me. They’re hot, but they all look around ninety percent straight. Which I know is my type, but they also look like they could kick my ass without breaking a sweat.”

“erm do you mind if we pretend like we’re dating for the next five minutes? there’s this girl who won’t leave me alone, obsessed with my dad and my saying i’m gay isn’t deterring her. please? i’ll owe you a few rounds of drinks.”

Enzo looked over his shoulder as though the other was asking someone other then him, only turning back to face the other when he realized that there was no one there. “Me?” He asked, just to confirm. “I mean, yeah, sure. Of course. Can’t say anyone has ever asked me to do this before and I’m flattered, really, I feel like I’m in a early 2000′s romcom.” 

“If you’re having a shrine then I get a shrine too. And you’re not allowed to be picky about who it’s of,” she told him, knowing that corner of their apartment was about to get a whole lot more chaotic. “I actually was. We all know Hen is queer, not sure why I had to re-tell you that,” Astrid pointed out. “No I don’t. He’s just adorable, okay? You’re always smiley too whenever you talk to him. He’s like human sunshine,” she elaborated, though that wasn’t exactly backing up her point. “I still laugh about that constantly. It’s too good,” she chuckled softly. “But if it wasn’t for him breaking your heart in that coffee shop you’d have missed meeting your soulmate so I can’t exactly say I’m sorry for that one,” Astrid smiled wistfully at her best friend. “Good.”

“Okay but is it going to be some basic white boy, because you know that’s my thing and you’re not allowed to come for my brand.” Enzo commented, holding a hand on his chest as he stared down his best friend. “Well I should hope he’s queer given he’s engaged to your brother.” Enzo commented with a tut and a shake of his head, “Still think they’re crazy to be engaged this young, but I guess I don’t blame them, they’re both hot.” He sighed. “And you’re right, he is human sunshine, not sure what he’s doing with your brother given he’s chaotic as fuck.” Enzo let out a dramatic sigh and gave Astrid his best heart eyes, “You’re right, I guess a straight person actually did something good for once, who knew it was possible.”

“They should’ve ended the show when they were still somewhat relevant,” Molly replied, rolling her eyes. “They’ve been grasping at straws for years now and everybody knows it’s such a sad look. Everything I know I’ve seen against my will and there’s only so much content I can block to not be bombarded with irrelevant info from right and left,” she added, sighing.

“I’m sorry, but they will always be relevant.” Enzo commented, looking at the other like she caused great offense to something that was so near and dear to him. “I live and breath their family, if it weren’t for them my life would be sad an pathetic, they give me the drama that waters my crops and cures my mental health.” He explained. “But that’s how they stay so relevant, by forcing themselves into the news, makes sure we never forget about them.”

“I mean their Disney+ show was shortened to ‘The Kardashians’ so it might be even shorter when the kids have their turn,” she shrugged back. “At the end of the day, no matter what they call their next reality show… they’re always going to be in the spotlight somehow,” Piper pointed out. “The Kardashian clan will outlive us all, I’m fully convinced,” she added with a brief laugh, not sure if she was amused or alarmed by the possibility.

“That’s so off brand for them though, I feel like they need an extra long title to go with the drama of it all.” Enzo sighed, thinking about the content they’d probably be exposed to in a very short amount of time. “Wait, are you trying to confirm my theory that like the Queen of England, the Kardashian’s are lizard people? Because I wouldn’t be surprised, it’d explain their constant changes in appearance. Them just shedding a layer of skin every time something goes out of style.”

“God, an endless loop of Keeping Up with the Kardashians sounds like a fucking nightmare,” Elle replied, taking a sip of her coffee. “You bet I’m going to watch it still though. Something about shitty reality TV makes me feel so much better about my life.”

“Bite your tongue.” Enzo glared at the other, “Those women are legends, they made so much money from doing so very little and I’m envious of them all. I would totally sell my soul to be a Kardashian.” He sighed. “Reality TV and sitcoms are my chicken soup for the soul, nothing would get me to stop watching them.”

“You’re going to have a shrine in our apartment, aren’t you?” Astrid looked at him with a deadpan expression. “I was literally talking about the guy who plays Ricky on the show and not that dreamboat but you had to go there, didn’t you?” she sighed, taking another sip of her drink. “I can dream from a safe distance of 4,600 miles away. Plus, he never has to know. Right, Enz?” 

“I’ve already ordered the candles, you know the ones in the glass jars where the celebrity is dressed like Jesus. They’re going to look so good.” He sighed wistfully, thinking about the package that would be with him in three to five business days. “Sure you were.” Enzo commented, taking a sip from his drink. “You practically have heart eyes over the boy whenever he facetimes, so of course I’m going to bring it up. Just like you like to bring up the fact that I wanted to date your very straight other brother.” Enzo tutted. “But yes, he never has to know. It’s not like me and him text daily.”