A THOUSAND MILES

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

My father experienced chronic pain for years. At one point, he was taking sixteen 60mg tablets of Oxycontin per day. He was doing this while working as a mechanic—from 7AM to 5PM—five and often six days per week. After severely injuring his leg in a racing accident, his mobility was limited by a stiff limp; he couldn’t bend his injured, blackened leg more than fifteen degrees or so. On top of the Oxycontin, he was drinking about two gallons of black tea—with a thick silt of sugar at the bottom of each cup—as well as smoking one or two packs of Camels. Again: he ingested all this medication—both the self- and MD-prescribed stuff—day after day, just to be able to get to the shop.I grew up watching this, experiencing only the smallest amounts of pain on a day-to-day basis. But then I exploded into severe pain and disease—holes in my intestines, major surgery, and then the recovery—over the course of a few months.

Even when immobilized by that big surgery, I tried to emulate my father’s will towards a goal. My goals were initially small and often hilarious: fart. Drink less than a thimbleful of water without vomiting. Stay awake for more than three hours. Write a poem. Then my goals began to require more effort: walk. Walk down the hallway of the hospital. Walk down the hallway twice. Walk down the hallway twice without clicking the Dilaudid button. I’m sure you’ve experienced this piecemeal pursuit of what seems like little goals.

But the more I think about those little goals, the more I recognize their immensity. Those goals—like: “I am going to get out of bed, walk to the kitchen, and go to the bathroom”—are no less important than “I am going to write a novel” or “I’m going to bike 50 miles today.” In fact, the little goals are more important. The little goals are the bricks of life. We live in a culture that willfully forgets that our lives our built out of these discreet, physical, and unavoidably simple units; our culture makes sure to forget these little units of life because our culture can’t adequately market them. When I was recovering from surgery, I tried to emulate my dad’s ability to invest every goal—no matter how small—with the utmost importance. After doing this—after reorienting myself to the bricks—the sense of triumph I felt after walking half a mile without needing to sit down was probably greater, and certainly more important, than that of the last weirdo to win the Tour de France. I felt a similarly big swell of pride and pleasure in being able to write a page or two of clear prose while under the influence of post-op opiates.I hope you can reorient your expectations—I hope you can focus on the bricks, because that’s what we’re made of.Now, my dad lives in California. My mom has begun to rebuild him—think the Sixty Million Dollar Man, but with some Affordable Care Act insurance—via two knee replacements, weening him off his pain medication (thankfully, he gave up Oxycontin a long time ago), and getting him to quit smoking and stay quit. Miraculously, my dad has enjoyed the challenge. He takes one Tylenol per day; he doesn’t smoke; he drinks an occasional glass of tea. All this relative healthiness after nearly dying, being immobile for months after heart valve replacement surgery, and then being bounced like a gauzy pinball between doctors, physical therapy, and pain meds for fifteen years.My dad will no doubt become ill again. Health is not a perfect state that is gained or lost, but a continuum. But dad is sure as hell enjoying his stability, no matter how relative that stability and health seems to other people who can run marathons.