what is it you're so afraid of?

❛  advice  ??  ❜  al  leans  back  in  his  chair,  crossing  his  legs  and  resting  his  elbows  on  the  arms  of  the  chair.  brown  eyes  regard  elias  steadily.  just  the  two  of  them,  at  the  moment.  he  finds  elias  fascinating.  finds  the  institute  fascinating.  he  wants  nothing  more  than  to  dig  out  the  secrets  of  this  place,  of  the  man  behind  the  desk  across  from  him.  he  wonders  how  much  elias  knows  about  him,  how  much  elias  can  See  about  him.  or  has  chosen  to  See  about  him.  he  wonders  if  elias  knows  al  Looked  at  him.  he  wonders  if  elias  knows  that  his  face  blurs  around  the  edges  when  peered  at.  knows  that  his  eyes  stand  out  in  sharp  relief  to  the  softened  edges.  

❛  no.  ❜  more  than  anything,  this  breaks  him.  more  than  anything  this  twists  the  knife  lodged  deep  in  his  chest,  stabs  it  straight  into  his  heart  and  tears.  he  takes  a  breath  and  it  scrapes  at  his  lungs.  ❛  no,  levi,  please.  please  don’t.  ❜  he  pulls  levi’s  head  into  his  lap,  bows  his  body  over  the  one  below  him.  their  foreheads  press  together  and  jon  takes  another  breath,  curling  even  closer.  his  whole  body  shakes.  this  can’t  be  happening.  this  can’t  be  real.  

(  levi,  grinning  at  him  over  a  veggie  tray  full  of  snacks  while  a  movie  plays  in  the  background.  levi,  brow  furrowed  as  they  work,  intense  focus  in  their  eyes.  levi,  squished  between  a  smiling  aaron  and  a  laughing  tim,  eyes  scrunched  in  their  own  smile.  levi,  sitting  on  the  edge  of  jon’s  desk,  head  tilted  to  the  side  as  they  talk  quietly.  )  

❛  levi--  ❜  the  sound  that  comes  out  sounds  more  like  a  sob  than  a  word.  ❛  please.  please,  come  back.  don’t  leave  me.  ❜  one  hand  curls  around  levi’s  cheek,  thumb  brushing  the  not  quite  human  skin.  ❛  please.  you’re  my  brother.  i  need  you.  you’re  supposed  to  be  there  for  me.  that’s  your  job.  that’s  your  job.  you’re  supposed  to  be  here.  ❜  fingers  curl  tight,  nails  biting  in,  and  there’s  no  reaction.  nothing.  nothing.  

❛  without  apology  ??  without  apology  ??  ❜  jon  gives  an  incredulous  laugh,  shaking  his  head.  the  audacity--  ❛  you  turned  me  into  a  monster.  you  put  me  in  the  path  of  things  that  would  hurt  me  hoping  they  would  hurt  me.  you  fed  me  statements  until  i  was  dependent  on  them  without  asking  me.  that’s  not  what  we  do  to  each  other.  that’s  what  you  did  to  me.  and  i  deserve  an  apology.  i  deserve  so  much  more  than  an  apology.  i  know  i  won’t  get  it,  not  from  you.  ❜  he  takes  several  heavy  breaths,  hands  curled  into  fists  at  his  sides,  green  eyes  sparking  with  a  scared  sort  of  anger.  there’s  something  hot  and  fierce  in  his  chest,  a  sort  of  desperate  anger  he’s  not  quite  used  to.  always  so  cold  and  removed  and  now  he  just  wants  to  tear  into  elias  until  it  fixes  something.  

evan  shifts  on  his  feet,  not  quite  looking  elias  in  the  eye.  (  he  avoids  eyes  in  general,  these  days.  in  case.  )  ❛  i’m  not  trying  to  get  in  anyone’s  way.  i  know  enough  about  the  entities  to  realize  how  futile  that  is.  ❜  he  shakes  his  head  and  finally  looks  elias  in  the  face,  giving  a  warm  smile  that  looks  so  much  like  his  uncle.  ❛  i  just  want  to  educate  and  be  educated  in  return.  ❜  it’s  a  balancing  act,  he’s  found.  learning  things  while  giving  enough  information  away  to  keep  from  tipping  headfirst  into  the  beholding. 

i grabbed my own fate with two hungry hands, pulling and pushing and molding my life, leaving smudges and dirty fingerprints all over a once clean soul. my mistakes belong entirely to me.

no, the stars never mapped out a path for me for me to follow, never planned my downfalls, my triumphs.

i rule the stars, not the other way around. i take their dust and inject it into my veins; i breathe in their light as

i live,         i live,                 i live.

history

isaac grew up relatively well off, if a bit lonely. his parents spent a lot of time working, leaving isaac to learn to fend for himself from a young age. many nights were spent on the balcony of his family apartment, staring at the stars. it was then that he fell in love. fell in love with the moon, the stars, and every space in-between.

he chased the stars with a passion unmatched and graduated top of his class and caught the attention of jaxa (japan aerospace exploration agency). with his grades and his skills, he made it on one of the first trips to the international space station and remains to this day one of the youngest astronauts to ever reside on the iss.

it was there he met the Falling Titan. on a space walk, his suit experienced a critical malfunction, trapping him outside the station and setting him drifting in open space. there, he watched the earth spin slowly beneath him, so far away, so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. and, as his oxygen ran out, he embraced the emptiness. and the emptiness embraced him back.

the crew of the iss managed to rescue him, expressing their surprise that he managed to survive as long as he did. he just smiled and said he must have gotten really lucky. a miracle.

after returning to the surface, isaac left jaxa, to the surprise of few who knew about the incident. he grew in his power as an avatar of the vast, or as he more regularly calls it, ‘the growing distance’ or ‘the space between’. currently, he spends his time roaming the planet, seeking new heights and new ways to make others afraid.

personality

outwardly very soft and gentle. he’s very soft spoken and frequently has a soft smile on his face. his eyes are warm and kind. he’s very gently playful and likes to play jokes on people or tease them. however, underneath the soft exterior lies a surprisingly cruel core. he has absolutely no compunctions about throwing people into the vast (his is usually outer space rather than the sky) or outright killing them. when angered, his eyes go cold and dark. his voice goes low and rough, though he never raises his voice.

he likes soft things, large sweaters, soft blankets, stuffed animals, etc. he wears lots of dark blues, purples, silvers, blacks, and forest or blue-greens. all hot drinks other than coffee are the way to what exists of his heart.

powers

ability to give people vertigo/make them feel weightless by making eye contact

can throw people into the deep recesses of space in his pocket of the vast

eyes shift from a deep blue/almost black to filled with stars when he uses his powers

aligned/marked by

the vast (avatar)

where to find him

anywhere high up, especially at night

observatories, aerospace museums, etc

cafes, particularly of the internet and/or themed variety

important headcanons

history

nothing particularly canon divergent so wiki for now

personality

he initially comes off as rude and short-tempered, especially to or about people he doesn’t trust or believe. however, when he’s faced with a clearly traumatized statement giver, he’s much more gentle and compassionate. despite his seeming dismissiveness, he’s actually quite afraid of monsters and the supernatural. he strongly dislikes violence and tends to panic and stutter when faced with intimidation or fear. he refers to himself as “not very brave, but quite stubborn”. he has a bit of a guilt complex and frequently mourns and overthinks his mistakes.

he’s autistic and has generalized anxiety, which leads to him being very awkward socially and never knowing quite how to interact with other people in “correct” ways. this also causes him to swing back and forth between talking too much about one specific subject or not talking at all in social situations.

powers

just a lot i’ll type it up later but its on the wiki

aligned/marked by

also on wiki

where to find him

the magnus institute/archives

unfortunately that’s mostly it

he doesn’t get out much

a bookstore maybe

important headcanons

TRIGGER WARNINGS: child abuse, transphobia, alcohol and drug use

as a note, i will use some feminine terms for him in threads wrt his childhood because these are the terms he would use for himself. i also skipped over some stuff to keep this short but check my rules for more trigger warnings.

history

alexius blake was born into a rich family in new york city. his father was a business man with some shady deals on the side, his mother was a socialite with a lot of focus on charity work. he was raised to be the perfect little heiress, trained in the arts of speech and dance and which forks to use for which course. he hated the dresses, the hair, the make up more than just about anything in the world. he insisted he was a boy from a very young age but was dismissed out of hand by his parents.

it was a lonely existence, kept so high and separate from the world around him. he often found himself without friends as the girls his age bored him and he wasn’t allowed to spend time with the boys. and so he often found himself drifting into the edges of a fogy pace with seemingly no exit.

when he hit 16, he’d finally had enough. he cut off his long hair, he tore up all his dresses. he refused to respond to his deadname, he pitched a fit in public enough times that his parents eventually snapped back. he was out on the street and even more alone than ever. it was there that he met the man with a face he could never quite recall and a name he could never quite remember. it was there he learned the euphoria and terror in being someone other than yourself.

at 19, al got a letter. as it turned out, his parents had never written him out of their will. and they had died suddenly, leaving everything to him. he returned to the penthouse, to the company, to the life he had abandoned three years previous. but this time, he had a new name, a new goal. with his purple hair and tattoos and forceful attitude, he took the business world off-guard. he delved into the secrets of his father’s dealings, learned on the fly how to run a company and run it well. he consumed knowledge like air and, slowly but surely, he crept closer and closer to the eye.

until, one day, he heard his second in command plotting against him. not with his ears but with his mind. he looked into the man’s eyes and knew everything about the man’s plan. rather than let it spook him, he leaned into it. he chased that power until he could do that on command and so much more.

eventually, he found out about the magnus institute and relocated his company to the uk to be closer to the seat of power for the entity he serves.

personality

charming in a rather forceful way, he’s liable to either railroad over you to get what he wants or convince you its what you wanted in the first place. his smile is always a little too sharp and a little too knowing. he’s nosy but in a very cunning way, tricking secrets out of people in such a way that they don’t even realize they’ve done it. he’s shrewd and intelligent and will not hesitate to cut someone else down if it means getting ahead.

he does have a softer side, hidden deep under his carefully crafted exterior. he adores his dog, tess, a five year old bernese mountian dog (or tex, a german shepherd in season 2 and beyond). he enjoys a good cup of coffee and drawing. he likes warm sweaters and bad reality tv. he also enjoys going to clubs, drinking, and doing hard drugs, but that’s a whole other conversation.

powers

compulsion (low level)

mind-reading (strong) 

implanting/removing knowledge (strong)

understanding all written and spoken languages

knowing previously unknown knowledge (mid level)

aligned/marked by

the eye (avatar)

the lonely

the stranger

where to find him

his business office

local coffee shops

parks with his dog

museums

charity events

important headcanons

history

the youngest of the lukases, evan was the presumptive next in line after peter for head of the family. as a child, he seemed the ideal candidate for an avatar of the lonely: quiet, reserved, not inclined to play with other children. they raised him with all the knowledge of the Lonely, of the entities, of their family’s place in the rituals, in the sacrifices of fear to their god. they thought he was solid enough in his faith in their god to send him to college, to allow him a degree.

instead, he discovered companionship, he discovered friendship. he found he enjoyed being around people, enjoyed making them laugh. he drifted farther and farther from his family’s ideals until, finally, he cut himself off from them completely. he flourished surprisingly quickly under the care of and affection of his new-found friends.

after college, he applied for a job as a lab tech and at the interview he met naomi. he fell in love with her almost instantly. he felt the Lonely clinging to her edges and he wanted nothing more than to dispel that fog. he wanted to make her happy. after two years, she proposed to him and he said yes. shortly after, he nearly died due to heart problems. but something saved him. Something. he wasn’t sure What intervened on his behalf but he intended to find out. naomi didn’t understand his sudden obsession and they drifted apart before eventually breaking up shortly before evan made his way to the magnus institute for the first time.

personality

outgoing, charming, and generally friendly, though he does tend to get fits of loneliness where he isolates for days at a time before emerging as if nothing happened. he also tends to get fixated on a particular thing and focus on it until he’s puzzled out all the angles of it. currently, his fixation is figuring out what saved him. he’s always careful, though, not to tread too close to the eye.

he enjoys doing activities that involve other people, including, but not limited to, team sports, going to bars and pubs, game nights with friends, and going places like beaches or parks. he’s often found just making friends with people playing basketball or selling food from carts or baristas. he knows how to listen, how to carry a conversation in a way that makes you feel very heard and is almost always willing to stay up late listening to and helping you with your problems.

powers

n/a

alignment/marked by

the lonely 

the buried (verse dependent)

???

where to find him

the magnus archives, looking into entities

parks or bars

the lab where he works

important headcanons