- - - P R O S E - - -

For I've lost my sanity.

Cry for me,

For your own sanity.

Drops of crystal, solidifies...

The pain, the suffering, the hardships, they gather.

And slowly through time, diamonds began to form.

And I held them, for longer than my heart could fold.

Until a stream of gold...

Went. Cold.

Monetary, was this just what I hold?

As I let them flow, one by one.

A piece at a time.

A slow revisit.

And a gradual release.

These diamonds weren't meant to blind me.

Because I am more than the values this world builds me off.

I am more than what I see me of.

...

No jewels defines me.

No values are me.

I am not even infinite.

I am unmeasurable.

And through living.

Through all these hardships and release.

I, am me.

I just am, me.

And none shall be able to, define me.

I'm waiting.

Waiting.

For the time to pass.

For the tick to clock.

I'm waiting.

Slightly shielding.

Cause I'm holding my energy.

That's being pulled out of my thoughts.

By whom.

By whom.

By someone, who I do not want to yield to.

And so I count.

As present as I could.

1715, 1716, 1717, 1718.

I'm loath this game.

And I'll be ending this snake.

And for some reason I start to wonder...

Whether I could be too.

If only, the sky removed its boundary.

If only, you did not leave me.

Do I even have to, live with only memories?

. . . . . . . .

I wonder why, do you feel so close and yet so far away?

Was it because I have yet to throw away what's yours in my head?

Is it because of my heart's longing ways?

Have I always just been someone who stays?

Emotionally,

Who was I, who is this?

Unable to move on,

Misery in her own veins.

Unsure, of the life, she… takes.

And yet glaciers slowly melts over time regardless of the fights.

Who told whom, a story they wished to keep?

So strongly, they felt guilty when it slips?

Me.

A shelter for cover.

In finality you may rest.

Recollecting all the moments before this shift; sleep.

And perhaps.

Just perhaps.

Peace in presence.

Dissapearing lanterns.

I see you with me.

When,

Our eyes meet.

Ashes to where?

Buried deep in.

Are you still there?

Perhaps you are.

Perhaps thoughts linger longer

Breaths too short to recover,

But.

Does it matter?

When it's been realised,

Something's there.

An unknown feeling within, could it?

Are you there?

Perhaps, perhaps.

You are there.

You are there.

Fire burns incense,

Incense burnt to ashes.

Smoke permeates the air I breathe.

And I,

Had a feeling.

Something deep in.

And I thought.

"I see you."

Even when I am not yet there.

Who has nothing to lose?

Fired away.

Fired your aim.

Ricochet.

Who took the aim?

Fired away.

Fired your aim.

Don't shoot them down.

For them to fall.

They aren't titanium.

Don't shoot me down.

For me to fall.

I am human like all.

Sometimes, it quickens;

While most times, it feels like you're in a halt.

And yet.

After the moment passes.

In a few days, a few weeks, months or a few years perhaps.

Looking back you would know.

It never did stop.

It was a movement much more present,

Much slower,

Much more,

Intentional.

The why behind it often gets muffled when we're too close.

Appearing only once, we're out of those moulds.

And we would know.

Take a step back,

Lay down or seat in a space of comfort.

Take the time for yourself.

And recall.

You weren't here were you?

Until you are here.

And it'll continue to be so.

When, I stick myself up with the arrows pointing digits

The — clicking — the — same link in.

Will I still remember how it feels?

When, I shove every moment in not to deal because time isn’t still and there’s more in my module than what I am constantly trying to fill though the increment still proceeds to drill.

Will I still remember how it feels?

When, the stares around me crowd into a shield that I can’t pry nor hide me in perhaps anxiety builds but still the walls aren’t crumbling, a tension, temperature rising.

A mess to be — whose?

Will I still remember how it feels?

If, a force took shape for me to yield into its embrace that I am trying not to face, I can’t take, whose hands are these to move with such high stakes? If I don’t run, I may never remember, how it feels to be; safe.

Will I still remember?

A question, my desire.

A moment, in dauntness.

I hope for an answer.

Do I still remember?

A motion, I’m not clear.

Whose voice was it? Ringing in my ear.

Did I hoped for answers?

Does remembering still matter?

When movement thrust in unconsciously,

How could I not yield?

Safety… was luxury.

Survive first, an echo like truth.

It seems that I’ve been careless.

And yet in which direction?

Does it matter. Matter not to; feel.

The sun felt warm against my skin, sweat dripping down as I play in the fields. Ball in hand, my friends were there too. 

A gush of wind slip past us, the setting of the moment, “about time.” Did we knew?

I… knew.

Wonders of the world.

Are the little things.

Little things.

.. .. ..

-19:27 0722

Perhaps,

It's near?

Perhaps...

A new life,

Is about to appear.