Infinite

I suffer from severe social anxiety. My social anxiety causes me to get physically sick. I get nauseous when i'm forced to be around new people or people that i'd rather not be around or around people when i'm not in the mood. Its crippling. This is my story about how simple words, meant as a joke, destroyed my mental shield. So I recently started university. Yesterday I said something and I was like, "because i'm a good friend" and one girl was like, "friend (flabbergasted), we've only known each other for 2 weeks" and I get that. That makes sense, but if you're hanging out with someone in your free time, is the point not friendship? Not like I need friends. I've lived a life with very few, but anyway the point of this story is that people blabbing out random (hurtful) words like that in an aim for what, i don't even know, just makes social anxiety so much worse and I'm literally so panicked to even see them again. Yes, she knew about my social anxiety. To them its not a big deal, but to me its like I tried to be social and here I am suffering heart palpitations, hating myself because I'm so stupid, crying myself to sleep, hoping that I won't wake up. Maybe you think I'm being over dramatic, but understand. Don't joke about mental illnesses. Don't belittle someone's fears because you don't understand them. DON'T, ESPECIALLY DON'T, CONTINUOUSLY TELL US ABOUT HOW ILLOGICAL OUR FEARS ARE. WE KNOW, BUT IT'S NOT A CHOICE. You can’t just decide, "Hey, i'm not scared of this anymore". Do you know how much courage it takes to socially interact even on the smallest scale? A lot. Frankly, saying it's exhausting is an understatement. Please think before you speak. Sometimes its difficult to know someone with social anxiety, but we appreciate your efforts more than you know. The hardest ones to love are the ones who need it most. Please. We're trying harder than you know. Its difficult enough without silly boys and silly boys breaking us down with thoughtless words. Please.

I've been watching Perception and this show really speaks to me. I suffer from a variety of mental illnesses and although medication helps sometimes, I've always wondered, does it not strip me of who I am? Does it not take away what makes me, me?

Does anyone else not give the slightest sliver of a fuck about all these LGBT specifications? Not in the rude way. In the way that I frankly don't give a damn about what or who you do in your spare time. It doesn't affect my life. Its not my business. I don't care. I literally do not. If you're my friend and we can have fun together, that's all that matters to me. You like to be a drag queen? Cool. You're pansexual? Cool. Gay? Cool. Asexual? Cool. I really don't care. And every other colour under the LGBT rainbow? Cool. If we're good, we're good. That is all. I love you for who and what you are regardless of what society attempts to force you to become. So you do you and I'll support you all the way because that's what friends are for.

Baby Conchobar "Tomlinson"

I put Tomlinson in quotation marks because you’re not technically even allowed to carry the supposed father’s name without a DNA test confirming paternity…

And we wait.

Curly hair is such a gamble. One day its the most majestic shit you’ve ever seen. The next day you look like a deranged serial killer who’s been hiding out in the woods. You just don’t know. How do people with amazing curly hair do it?

Guys, but what if Brianna really is pregnant, but she’s a surrogate for Larry and IT’S ACTUALLY A LARRY BABY and then OMG! But guys, what if! What if its Darcy, guys!

Every breath feels like it’s burning. I know that life will go on. I will survive, but for tonight I’d swear on my life; this is the end of the world. It's truth that I don't want to hear. So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright. Just hold me and tell me everything's going to be fine - that things will be okay.

We have people walking on eggshells when they attempt to compliment each other. It annoys me. Why can't someone tell me I'm pretty? Sure, my looks aren't the only thing I have to offer, but upon meeting me its the most noticeable thing. "Call me beautiful, instead of hot." Seriously? Someone said something nice to you and you're going to be an asshole about it? Take what you get. Sometimes paying a compliment is more difficult than you think. The whole, "looks don't matter" is a lovely thought, but looks always matter. Whether you like it or not, looks play a role in sexual attraction. Saying you don't have a type is bullshit because everyone has a preference. Its nothing personal. Its who and what we're naturally drawn to. Has anyone ever walked into a bar and gone, "Wow, that conversation though!"? No. Why? Because as humans, we "eat with [our] eyes first". It is what it is. Yes, we're more than what meets the eye. Yes, I have other traits and qualities, but if someone wants to tell me I'm pretty, then why the hell not? You're allowed to tell someone they're beautiful/pretty/gorgeous (whatever synonym you want to use for "beautiful") when they're suicidal/depressed/sad etc. But not just because? Why can't you tell someone who's pretty that they're beautiful just because you want to? So you know what? If you tell someone they're pretty and they're an asshole about it, fuck them. That's their problem. Tell me I'm pretty, I don't mind. That is all. Have a good day. Unpopular opinion, but I don't care. I'm out.