hee hee...

Also old men love me i think because to them im proof they could also have a chance with a young woman even if its not true although maybe im proof that it is

Im everyones ideal woman because im fun and lively but also intelligent and tragic and im in a relationship with someone else

Also I understood that I still love him or think I want him in my life has to be at least partially because like mentally it’s so hard to come to terms with violence. Like I would rather be insane about him with him and destroy myself rather than struggle being with someone with stability and compassion cuz I’m guilty about being still insane about him

Last time for the first time I had a dream about the person I have difficult feelings towards. But this time instead of automatically being trapped again in a relationship with him I walked past him and did korean heart at him and waved at him from across the street and did korean heart again. I got scared of him later but like I think that’s still improvement