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made an acc specifically for palestine go fund mes, in case you wanna help @palestinegfm

need more whump

havent played my guitar in 5 days fucking crazy

i was 99.9% sure abt not wanting to have kids and ever since i started teaching preschool it becomes 200%

and no payback ao3s like literally 0...

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABT PAYBACK THE SERIES

when i'm sad the thoughts just getting louder. i wanna be in a band, i wanna perform. i've always been really shy and introverted but i knew since i was young i like performing, i like being the center of attention sometimes. i used to dance and i liked it when people see me dance, i don't do physical live performance but this desire i channel them through online streaming where i sing and play guitar and sometimes i'd be practicing and people still stayed and listen. i have a full time job that requires all of my energy but i'm thinking about having a "second life" after work where i'd do gigs and stuff and i get to sing and play guitar in front of people and make my own music etc. to have that space where i can fully be myself at the right place and right time. i want to have more than this.. i've got multiple people telling me let's make a band but they never meant it meanwhile i always take it serious. i really want to be in a band, my guitar playing is great and people keep telling me that, i can sing too and i always got compliment. meanwhile i see people on the internet saying they have a band and they can't even play any instruments. why? i wanna perform... i want my life to be more than this, more than me being a Teacher. im a fucking musician too. when i taught my students about their dreams and ask them theirs, i told them mine is becoming a musician. at that point i never really think about it and i'm content with what i have but i guess i can't lie to myself. i want to be on stage and performing for people, i wanna have audiences, i dont give a fuck about being famous thats not important at all, just want to have people listening physically and getting to perform physically... under the lights, in the middle of the crowd, you know? i'd be going home from work and that's a crucial time where these thoughts would come attack me if i don't try to be gentle with myself. i'm anxious as fuck but i want that adrenaline of being on stage. and i guess im really longing for a place where i can totally be myself, as messy as i want, as honest as i can.. ive always known this is more than just me whining about wanting to be in a band