lunatic insideverse @enigmary - Tumblr Blog

Let me win this time

because it’s my time to shine.

No buts, no ifs.

It is what it is.

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They see what they only want to see— the anger

But never bother ask the reason behind

Why it happened the way it happened

They seek for compassion

The way that you did before

But when you do the same

You’re the one to be blamed

It's good to be back. How long it was? I can't remember. All I ever know is that ever existed. A lot of things happened already. But no matter how many times I close my eyes, those memories were very much vivid as if they were still alive in the present. But why? Why do I keep replaying it over and over again... I am... okay... But why still think about it to this day?

why does it still hurt a little... i thought it was already over... but why?

studentlifeproblems

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strawberry-cactus

"I didn’t want you to think I was just some nobody. You see, I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad thing that happened to me."

-Jay Gatsby

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

strawberry-cactus

"I didn’t want you to think I was just some nobody. You see, I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad thing that happened to me."

-Jay Gatsby

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

kinghippolytus

Whenever it’s raining I feel sad. Sana ako naman yung uunawain. Ako naman yung hinahabol. Sana ako naman yung manalo. Sana ako naman this time.

Sobrang sakit sa pakiramdam

na masabihang: "walang makakatiis sa'yo dahil sa ugali mo"

na para bang ang bawat pagkakamali

ay wala nang karapatan para magbago

ang tratuhin ng mas masahol ka pa sa basura

dahil mali ang nagawa ko

na bawat mali ko

ay ni minsan ay wala nang nagawang tama

ang sakit

ang sakit sakit

kasi hindi ka marunong makiramdam

na bawat pagluha ko

ay iyo lamang binabalewala

na para bang wala akong halaga sa'yo

kapag may nais akong sabihin

tungkol sa problema ko

ay nakikinig ka

dahil may sasabihin ka

hindi dahil

may tunay kang malasakit

hanggang kailan matatapos

ang pang-a-apak mo sa'kin

pagod na pagod na ako

ang gusto ko lang ay lumaya

sa isang katulad mo

dahil alam ko

alam kong may halaga ako

ang mga sinasabi mo

laban sa akin

ay hindi totoo

mahirap man ang sitwasyon

hindi ako magpapatalo

sa masakit mong mga salita

lalaban ako

makakaya ko

lilipas din ito

tandaan mo 'yan

Breakfree| 7 Oct. 2020

breaking free from your own imprisonment

brought so much inner peace

those tiny pieces of shit

no longer haunt you anymore

finally, the darkest hours has finally transformed

and here, the doors are widely opened for new beginnings

these opportunities surpassed the good for your greatest good

as you twist the knob full of surprises

the series of turn of events are being unfolded naturally

as you do,

don't bother of what will happen next

little by little, feel the cool air of the wind

wrapping every corner of your body

letting you appreciate what's lovely

and if you do,

for sure, llife will love you back with holistic certainty

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erikkwakkel

A colourful book

I encountered this Dutch book from 1692 in a French database today and it turns out to be quite special. For one thing, no Dutch scholar appears to have published on it, or even to know about it. Moreover, the object is special because it provides an unusual peek into the workshop of 17th-century painters and illustrators. In over 700 pages of handwritten Dutch, the author, who identifies himself as A. Boogert (Pic 2), describes how to make watercolour paints. He explains how to mix the colours and how to change their tone by adding “one, two or three portions of water”. To illustrate his point he fills each facing page with various shades of the colour in question (lower image). To top it he made an index of all the colours he described, which in itself is a feast to look at (Pics 1 and 3). In the 17th century, an age known as the Golden Age of Dutch Painting, this manual would have hit the right spot. It makes sense, then, that the author explains in the introduction that he wrote the book for educational purposes. Remarkably, because the manual is written by hand and therefore literally one of a kind, it did not get the “reach” among painters - or attention among modern art historians - it deserves.

Pic: Aix-en-Provence, Bibliothèque municipale/Bibliothèque Méjanes, MS 1389 (1228). Luckily, the entire book can be viewed here, in hi-res, zoomable images. Here is a description of the book.

Full disclosure (6 May, 2014): While this colourful book is first presented to a larger audience in this post and there are no Dutch publications devoted to it, I have since posting discovered that it is known by at least one other Dutch scholar. It is currently being studied and will be included in a PhD study to be completed in 2015 at the University of Amsterdam. While it is great that blogs such as The Colossal (here) and Gizmodo (here) have picked it up, it is important to know that I was not the one “discovering” the manuscript. I merely put it on the bigger podium it deserves, via this blog.

#bookhistory #art #paint #watercolour #art history #books

15 December 2019

I was right all along. Nobody stayed but me.... fuck.

Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. -Olaf, 2013

Hindi rason ang family ties para masabing hindi toxic ang isang tao!!!

introvertunites

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites.

enigmary

that’s the tea my darling

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It took me years

Before I fully said

to somebody

Somebody that I trust

To vent out

Everything that has happened

Fully changed who I used to be

I seemed so fulfilled

The suffering that take place

for more than half the decade

was unleashed

As if I am bare naked

Nothing to hide

From anything or anyone

Now, I am able

to look in the mirror

From my own very eyes

Deep down my very soul

That I am truly free

From the abyss of chaos

I thought I would never escape

I, too, realized something

Something that gives importance

To lend someone their ears

And never say a word

Presence is real enough

To make someone feel

worthy to be listened to

Whatever words will it be

The rawness stand above all

Story telling of every piece

was not an easy take

But this time I succeeded

An indicator of healing eventually

Now, I can say “finally I’m free”

introvertunites

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites.

enigmary

the very exact words that i need. well explained

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