so lost in dreams

seeing uno finally letting go of his emotions rather than holding them back had babyface slightly taken back. even though he had seen him like this before, it still took him by surprise. when they were around the others he had such a strong exterior, but he is human after all. babyface could understand in a way. everyone in the group looked up to the male and always ran to him when they needed help. he couldn’t imagine the weight he was feeling on his shoulders. for a moment baby hovered his hands over unos back. he was unsure of how much physical contact uno would be okay with. but all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and let him know everything was going to be okay. finally he placed one hand against his back running it up and down along his spin. “it’s going to be okay i promise. you’re not bad at everything. you’re the best leader this group could ask for. who was it that found this place? who has it been that’s always made sure we’ve had money for food and supplies.” he paused for a moment while letting out a soft sigh. “i admire you for it. i really do. i just wish there were something i could do to help.”

uno didn’t flinch away at the touch to his back, as much as part of him wanted to. he wasn’t used to physical affection. his father often gave pats on the back to his oldest brother, and his mother doted endlessly on her youngest son. he was always the one left alone, to pick up the pieces others couldn’t be bothered to. and here he was again, in the same position. he let babyface talk for a while, body still shaking from tears. “but it’s not enough,” he whispered. “it’s never enough. i mean, we... we’ve got this place, but shit, what about when it gets torn down? when we have to run again and find someplace to hide? what if i can’t find anywhere and... and someone gets sick, or hurt, or...” he let his voice trail off, the thought too much to bear. “i-i just can’t. i can’t let that happen. but i know it will.”

sidekick patted crybaby on the back causing him to walk towards the door ahead of himself and mouse. he gave mouse a soft look as if he were letting him know everything was going to be okay. he didn’t know everything about mouses life and he never pushed the male to tell him anything. but he knew his home life wasn’t exactly the best thing ever. it was one of the many feelings why he was so protective over him. if anyone tried laying a finger on mouse, sidekick was there ready to defend him.

crybaby walked ahead of the two while shoving his hands in his pockets. he wasn’t usually one who was great with starting any kind of conversations. but he wanted so badly to impress both mouse and sidekick. he stopped for a moment allowing them to catch up to him. “so do you two like the house?”

mouse held his breath as sidekick gave him a look, restraining himself from reaching over to take his hand. they had always been there for one another, ever since the day they had met. he knew sidekick felt protective over him, but he could only hope the other knew how willing he was to do the same. mouse only glanced up when he heard crybaby speak, biting down on his lip. it was hard to speak, sometimes, but he had to try. after a moment, he managed to squeak out, “i-it’s nice.” he flinched when he heard the stammer in his own voice, instinctively moving closer to sidekick. he didn’t want to be made fun of.

seeing angels smile made troubles heart feel as if it skipped a beat. he was confused seeing as no one had ever made him feel this way. when he mentioned they wouldn’t have to share rooms troubles face slightly dropped. he didn’t want to let it share but he was disappointed. sure he enjoyed having a room to himself. and half the time he wasn’t even in his room. he’d always sneak out, find some kind of party, get into some kind of fight, and then stumble his way back. but now all he wanted to do was spend time with angel. “o-oh” he stuttered out while putting his attention back to the clothes. “you can go choose yours if you’d like. i’ve got this.”

angel frowned as he heard trouble’s stutter, trying to pin down the cause of it. trouble wasn’t exactly known for being nervous. he was impulsive, the sort to make decisions first and ask questions never. yet lately, angel had noticed a change in his behavior. trouble had been spending less and less time away from the group - and specifically, from him. they’d spent quite a few nights listening to music together, or napping side by side, or just talking until the wee hours of the morning. it was nice, in a way angel hadn’t seen coming. he pouted at trouble’s comment. “why do you keep trying to get rid of me?” he mumbled. “besides, i just said we didn’t have to share. not that we couldn’t.”

the longer they stood there the more trouble admired angel. the fact that he was keeping his stare even though his face was turning a deeper shade of red impressed trouble. he would never be able to do anything like such. he wasnt the type of person to show his emotions easily. except for when he was pissed off. when the other pulled their hand away trouble found himself feeling disappointed. it was as if he craved angels touch. “that is if they get here fast enough” he replied while rolling his eyes playfully. the mention of claiming a room made trouble lift his head. he hadn’t had time to go through and choose which one he wanted. he didn’t even know if they were supposed to be sharing. “not yet. have you?”

angel smiled when trouble made a joke about some of the members, shaking his head as he started to unpack some of the clothes. it was funny to him how most of them just shoved their possessions into their bags, with no regard for organization. his was always neatly put together, sometimes along with mouse’s and crybaby’s. still, he didn’t mind. folding a shirt he thought might have been babyface’s, he shook his head in response to trouble’s question. “not yet. i think uno got claims on the one upstairs. there’s supposed to be a lot here, though. we might not even have to share.”

the first time babyface found uno in this type of state he promised to never let the others know. he couldn’t imagine what kind of pressure he was feeling. everyone in the group relied on him. one of the many reasons baby tried figuring things out on his own since that night. the last thing he wanted to do was cause more stress for the male. crybaby remained silent keeping his hand against unos back until he heard him speak. he let out a soft sigh while turning his attention to him. “you have nothing to apologize for. i told you this already. you’re human. it’s normal to break down every now and then. especially with the position youre in” he watched as the tear made it’s way down uno’s cheek. he swallowed thickly before reaching forward gently wiping it away with the back of his hand. “you’re the best leader this group could have.”

uno shook his head as babyface spoke. he knew the other had good points - he usually did, no matter the situation. but none of them felt right. he wasn’t supposed to be human. he was supposed to lead them all and not complain and make sure things got done. he wasn’t supposed to be crying in a heap on the floor, looking more like a toddler than a leader. the touch to his cheek seemed to trigger even more tears, cascading down his face and dripping onto the floor. “i’m not,” he whispered. “i’m not, jesus, i’m so... i’m so fuckin’ bad at everything, and i can’t figure things out and - someone’s gonna end up gettin’ hurt because of me, and i can’t... i can’t.” he let out a sob, hiding his face in his knees.

crybaby noticed the sudden relief that took over mouses demeanor. he couldn’t help but to stare at the male and tilted his head to the side slightly while watching him write down his order. for some reason he found himself feeling bad. did he cause him some kind of stress? there was so much he still had to learn about the whole group. but the one person he wanted to know more about was mouse.

sidekick gave a small smile as he watched mouse write down crybaby’s order. he was constantly worried about the male. so seeing any kind of positive coming from mouse always gave him his own relief. after writing down his own order he stood up straight and bumped into crybaby gently to let him know he was staring too much. he laughed slightly when seeing him starting to blush and shook his head. he glanced over towards mouse and held the paper up between their bodies. “that’s everything right?”

mouse sighed to himself when the orders were finished, clenching his hands slightly. he knew that things weren’t like home anymore. at home, if he stammered while talking on the phone or brought home the wrong order, he would earn himself a beating that left him sobbing in the floor in a heap. that much was over. but if he messed up? if he forgot trouble’s request, or dropped the food on the way home? who knew what would happen to him then. he took a quiet breath, looking over at his two companions. sidekick, at least, wouldn’t let anything happen to him. and he had a feeling crybaby wouldn’t either. nodding, he took the paper, gripping it tightly in his hands. he tilted his head towards the door, starting out down the hallway.

feeling mouse tense under his touch caused a small frown to form on sidekick’s face. he pulled his arm away while clearing his throat. he should of known better than to touch mouse without making sure it was okay first. he was just so excited that he would get to spend time with both mouse and crybaby at the same time. when mouse had handed him the notepad and glanced at him, he gave a slight nod. “alright crybaby, what exactly is it you want?”

crybaby tilted his head as he watched the interaction between the two. he had recently joined the group so he didn’t know much about anyone yet. but he had heard that mouse and sidekick had came from the same place. hence why sidekick had his nickname, he was always by mouse’s side. there was something about the two that was so intriguing to him. when sidekick spoke his name, he shook his head not wanting to make it obvious that he was staring at them both. “oh i’ll just take a chicken sandwich.”

mouse hadn’t exactly wanted sidekick to stop touching him. out of all the members of their group, sidekick was the one he was most comfortable with. that was obvious. he was the only one who could get mouse to make noise, other than the occasional cough or sigh. still, in second would definitely be crybaby. normally, mouse was wary of newbies. it had taken him ages to realize uno wasn’t going to snap at him if he did something wrong, or babyface wouldn’t hit him for staying quiet. but crybaby felt... different. a little safer. mouse felt a surge of relief when crybaby gave the order, quickly reaching over to scrawl it down onto the notepad, before allowing sidekick to write his down.

babyface glanced down at his hand frowning at the sight of uno. he didn’t want to cross his limits, but he also didn’t want uno to have to be alone through such a horrible thing. the last thing babyface wanted to do was upset uno even more. he debated on what he could do. should he just sit silently until the other was calm. should he try starting a conversation? he worried so much because lately he had found himself growing fond towards the other. gently he began tracing different shapes against the males back and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. “well then i’ll just sit here while you figure stuff out..”

uno let out a soft, shuddering sigh as he felt a hand on his back, seemingly drawing all sorts of shapes there. he wasn’t used to things like this. normally, he would wait until everyone was busy or asleep, before he locked himself in a bedroom or bathroom to silently panic. the others would freak if they saw him in a state like this, so unsure of everything. he had to be sure. that was his job. if he couldn’t even do that... a tear slipped out of his eye, but he didn’t bother to wipe it away, just staring ahead at the wall. “i’m sorry,” he murmured to babyface. “i’m sorry i’m such a shit leader.”

the blush on angels face caused his famous cocky grin to appear on troubles face. usually trouble would take advantage of a situation like such. but angel was different from anyone else. the fact that angel didn’t pull his hands away and gave trouble a pout caused him to feel slightly flustered. if there was anything that made him weak it was that. he stared at angel for a moment, his mouth slightly open, his eyes gazing over angels features before nodding. “fine.. i’ll let you help. but if you start getting tired let me know.”

trouble’s signature grin only made angel blush harder, though he still refused to look away. he knew trouble wasn’t exactly the kind of nice boy his parents had always wanted for him. he was brash and bold, with an unmatched temper and anger to spare. but none of that seemed to matter. as soon as angel took his hand, trouble would calm himself down, and apologize. and that was all that mattered. “thank you,” he murmured, finally pulling apart from their touches to continue to unpack. “this shouldn’t take long, anyway. then we get to eat, and go to sleep. did you claim a room yet?”

when angel declined his offer trouble glanced up towards him with a raised brow. he had seen how angel seemed to be struggling when they were making the hike to the apartment. dropping the bag he had in his hands, trouble walked over so he was in front of the other. “if you don’t sit, i don’t sit” he stated while placed his hands on top of angels. “please go sit down. take advantage of it. i don’t usually make offers like this” he teased while giving a wink.

angel couldn’t help the blush that spread over his cheeks when trouble winked at him, averting his eyes. it was like trouble had some power over him, to fluster him at the worst of times. “i’m alright,” he insisted, though he didn’t move his hands away from trouble’s. “i promise i am. please let me help?” he gave a slight pout. normally he wouldn’t try to manipulate, but he didn’t want to seem useless compared to the other members. 

babyface knew it was risky going against uno, but he couldn’t allow him to be alone in this kind of state. turning around, he locked the door before making his way over to the male. the thought of uno close to tears absolutely broke his heart. he sighed and placed his hand on his back. “i told you this once and i’ll tell you again. it’s okay to let go in front of me. you’re human, it’s normal to feel anxious. especially with all of us” he paused while biting down on his lower lip. “you’re always there for all of us when we need it. so it’s time for someone to be there for you. you don’t deserve to go through this alone.”

uno cursed under his breath when he heard the lock click shut. damnit. why couldn’t babyface just be like the rest of them and turn the other way when uno ran? why did he have to be so concerned about everything? sighing, he wiped his eyes again, dragging the back of his hand against them. “i’m fine,” he insisted, shaking his head, trying to get his body to stop trembling so much. “just... trying to figure stuff out. it’s fine.” of course - of course - his arguments didn’t make babyface leave him be. sighing, he shook his head, burying it in his arms again.

crybaby couldn’t help but to complain once they had gotten to the apartments. he begged and pleaded trouble to switch places with him. but once he realized mouse and sidekick were the ones going to get the food he shut up. there was something about mouse that attracted him. the male didn’t speak much, but after knocking down that door and holding him along sidekick made him feel as if the three had created some type of bond.

sidekick smiled as he looked over seeing mouse trying to memorize the writing on the notepad. he walked over and wrapped his arm around the males neck and looked down at the paper. “it’s okay.. i know you suck at memorizing. i’ll do it. you’ve got what everyone wants right?” once crybaby made his way over, sidekick wrapped his free arm around his neck, keeping the other still around mouse. “ready?”

mouse didn’t shy away from sidekick’s touches, but he did tense a slight bit. he still wasn’t used to being touched for the sake of affection. besides, if sidekick or anyone touched the wrong spot, he could flinch, and then that would lead to a whole conversation he really wasn’t ready to have. sidekick’s words made his brow furrow as he shook his head, handing over the notepad. sidekick and crybaby still hadn’t written down their orders. they were coming along, of course, but mouse still needed them to write it down. for his own peace of mind. he silently glanced up at sidekick, hoping he got the message.

trouble wasn’t his nickname for no reason. no matter where he went, there was something he managed to get into that would cause him some kind of trouble. since he met the other members of their little group, he tried his hardest to refrain from getting into fights. but the boy had so much anger built up that he was like a loose cannon. he never let anyone get close to him. so to feel angel holding him as he tried calming down from an argument felt weird but also felt so right. reaching over, trouble grabbed one of the backpacks and opened it up. “you.. you can go sit if you want. we had a long walk up here. i’m sure you’re tired” he tried his best to speak coolly while looking up towards angel.

often times, angel felt like the black sheep in their little band of runaways. he wasn’t world-weary, or angry, or hurting like most of them. but all that meant to him was that he could spend more time helping them, none more so than trouble. angel wasn’t quite sure why, but every time he managed to calm trouble down from a brewing fight, he felt a flicker in his chest, something he’d never quite felt before. he was lost in thought when trouble spoke, making him glance over at the other. “hmm? no, that’s alright,” he murmured, keeping his voice soft. in truth, he was tired, and wearing his binder while hiking several kilometers hadn’t helped matters in the slightest. still, he wanted to do his part. “i like helping.” he opened up another backpack, starting to sort through the contents. “but you can sit if you’d like.”

since seeing uno break down, babyface was constantly worrying about him. he tried not to show his worry in front of the others since uno was their leader. but deep down he couldn’t help but to wonder what was going on in his mind. now that they were settling into a new place he couldn’t imagine the stress uno was feeling right. once everyone went their separate ways, babyface gently knocked on the door leading into uno’s room before allowing himself in. “everything okay?” he questioned with a soft voice.

uno buried his head in his knees, frame shaking as he tried his best to breathe. he’d been holding it together all day, fighting through hunger and exhaustion and anxiety to get them to where they needed to be. as soon as he’d given out instructions, he’d stumbled into a bedroom and collapsed, curled up on the ground away from the door. he couldn’t do this. he couldn’t. he couldn’t. a voice forced him to break out of his own head. babyface. fuck. “yeah,” he forced out, wiping his eyes quickly, thankful that nothing was there - yet. “fine. thanks. go help unpack.”