lena can't help but smile , amused , as jonah talks about his sisters . " grace would soar being out of state . this place is too small to contain her . " lena agrees . " don't tell me your parents are feeling protective over her flying the nest ? " she always liked jonah's family . they were so different from her own . speaking of which . . . she fiddles with her glass , gives an indifferent shrug . she doesn't want to speak about her brother and father right now . " they're same old , same old . " and she knows that jonah knows what that means , above all else .

as she puts her drink down , lena feels like a second wind has thrilled through her . she glances around , belatedly realising the bar is closing . " god , what time is it ? i take it back , jonah . you're a bad influence . " she teases . she follows him , and wonders vaguely what it would take for him to one day actually touch her . to close the distance . place his hand on her back . even when they were younger , he'd hover . never quite touch . it was her who'd reach for his hand , to pull him through a crowded room . her who'd link arms together , or create stupid daisy chains to drape around his neck .

lena used to be an expert at wearing heels , but it's been a hot second since she's done it outside , and in a dress . she muffles a laughter , delighted at this spontaneous adventure . she reaches down , holding a hand out for jonah to help steady her ( because he's there . he always is ) . she slips off her heels easily and holds them in her other hand . " is this payback for the time i made you come out here in your slippers and you got mud all over them ? " the pair clamber together , ungraceful , but with her heart thrumming out a new pattern . DEJA VU HITS HER SO ENTIRELY THAT IT ALMOST WINDS HER . " i remember . " she breathes it out , as if surprised . she swallows . thick . jonah is looking at the trees , and she's looking at him . the wind tussles some of his hair and lena feels her stomach roll . " i remember . " she repeats . she's still holding jonah's hand , but loosely . only their fingers vaguely intertwined . " god . i can't believe you remember that . " but she can . lena swallows , watching him scope out the trees , and she feels a strange sense of longing , to be those kids again , but properly this time . " . . . is there anything you don't remember about us , jonah ? " lena moves closer , holding up her phone with its light on to help him as he looks . " i think it was that tree . on the left . careful , i swear we almost broke our necks carving it in. "

moving at her pace, jonah stayed close by and smiled fondly at lena’s slight staggering, moving away from the empty bar and into seclusion. “nice try! i may be a little drunk, but you could never convince me that i’m the bad influence between us,” jonah laughed, taking lena’s outstretched hand. “i loved those slippers,” jonah recalled the time lena dragged him outside right after it had rained. “no fucking idea why i decided to have them on in the mud. did i ever tell you i tried to convince my mom that we should just wash them and still keep them?” god, now he was babbling. it was like jonah felt the need to entertain, to keep the conversation flowing no matter what the cost to hold anyone’s interest. he felt like if he shut up lena would disappear, move off in the opposite direction only to become a memory to him again. 

“you remember,” he replied back simply, almost in disbelief. his breath caught in his throat as he watched lena on mission to help find the carvings, admiring how beautiful she looked hiking up her dress just a bit so she could crouch, look of concentration on her face. suddenly they were twelve and messing around in this same spot while their parents had dinner and drinks in the building behind them. he would pretend to flick a bug on her and they’d end up rolling around in the grass, giggling and watching the summer sun dip behind the trees that blocked the bustling highway. 

“holy shit, you found it?” jonah’s heart felt light, moving to crouch next to lena and shine his own phone flashlight at the tree. “you’re gonna break your ankles. can you sit?” he asked the stupid question, wondering if lena could maneuver to sit in the grass. “i wanna see if i can take a picture of it…” his voice drifted off, squinting a bit as he zoomed in on his camera.

her hand is in his hair and she wants to keep it there . there have been so many moments like this over the years . moments where she's allowed herself to linger . where she's let herself look at his lips , then his mouth . where she's kept her knee pressed to his , her pinky grazing his . where they've breathed the same breath , faced each other during a sleepover , or late night out . SO MANY NIGHTS , AND THEY ALWAYS END UP RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER . she always broke away . always turned . always moved her head at the last second , refused to believe anything could have happened . years , decades , minutes , seconds . whole lifetimes . jonah knew her when she used to die her hair black and wear 40 jelly bracelets on each arm . he knew her when she'd wear the shortest skirts to parties , and he'd cover her so she could bend over and pick up a drink . LENA SMILES AT HIM NOW . not the smile she gives everyone else , but the one that makes her feel like a kid again . the one that is almost goofy , and shows off her snaggle tooth . " how are your sisters ? " she asks , curiously . " god , how old are they now ? " the idea of others aging around her only remind her that she's doing the same .

she spins her glass , aimlessly , resting both her elbows on the small table occupied by her and jonah . at his request for her to chug it , her eyebrows fly up . she hasn't chugged anything in a year or two . she laughs . " are you trying to get me wasted , jonah ? " she obeys though . because it's him ,and she's her . she lifts the glass , keeps her eyes on him , and swallows the wine in a few big mouthfuls . she pulls a face. " i'm not as good at that as i used to be. " her brain swims , warm . " ok , jojo . " old , silly nickname rolls right off . " take me away . what are you showing me ? "

"they're good," jonah smiled at lena mentioning his sisters. they always looked up to lena when they were all living at home, often the number one culprits of teasing them for not being together despite all the time they spent together. "grace wants to move out of state, and my parents aren't having it," he shrugged. "i guess she wants to get out and do her own thing. they should let her have a shot at it." he more than understood where grace was coming from. one regret jonah had was not taking more chances when he was younger, but there was no time to dwell on that now. "how is your family?" he asked, eyes wandering over the last few sips of alcohol in lena's glass.

watching the slight skepticism on her face, jonah couldn't help but smile as lena finished off the rest of her drink. "not trying to get you wasted, but we have places to be," he quipped, nodding subtly towards the bar door. the room had pretty much cleared out, a few bartenders and employees milling about and cleaning before closing up for the night. leading lena outside, jonah turned to hover his hand against the small of her back, not quite touching but there in case she needed support.

"maybe you shouldn't be doing this in heels," jonah chuckled, feeling a bit bad once they started reaching the uneven terrain of the gravel parking lot and grass. "but it's just up here. do you remember how we used to sneak off while our parents got drinks at this very bar, or down the road eating dinner?" he pointed several feet away to a row to trees, vaguely remembering something he held sacred etched into one of them. "we wrote our initials on one of these," he murmured, almost to himself as he intensely began scanning some of the slender trunks. "you remember this, right? it has to still be here."

jonah was wrapping up a conversation with one of his old school buddies when he felt a soft knock against his shoulder. “hey,” he smiled, the greeting spilling out quickly before chuckling at her banter regarding growing old. “how are you so sure i’ll be the one with the first grey to pluck,” he teased, lifting his glass back to his lips. “i saw you got cornered by madeline,” he feigned a grimace. “nothing could have prepared me for her monologue about getting cheated on the same guy…three times in six months.” his eyes locked with lena’s for a moment, throwing the last back of alcohol down his throat before clearing it. “you uh, are you staying much longer?”

jonah's question is asked in such a way that it bring an intense wave of deja vu to her . while he looks different , older , ( hotter ) , stronger . . . the way his voice dips , the way he talks . . . even the way he looks at her . . . it's all remained the same . it makes heat rise inside of her , but she pushes it away as she swings her hair out of her face . " well . " lena extends the extra glass of wine she bought . " i was hoping you'd drink this with me . " it's a stupid move , leaving the two of them alone . it feels different than it ever has before . lena tilts her head at him . her eyes survey his hair , his eyes , his nose . almost his lips . almost . but she looks him in the eye again and smiles , faint yet nostalgic . " unless you were planning on heading ? " lena hates that she knows the answer . he'd never leave without her . he's still so trustworthy to her that it hurts . " i think i can see a grey on you already . " she adds , teasingly . she reaches up to touch his hair and finds it softer than she remembers . " new conditioner ? " she asks . " i coulda sworn you'd stay with your 6-in-1 forever . "

although she looked different, her hair a bit longer and her eyes slightly darker, she was still his lena…the girl who held his hand at the bus stop when he was scared for the first day of second grade, the one who would do her best to call him at least once a week when they were in school to talk about how hard classes were and whether or not they were missing home. being next to her should feel natural, but for some reason it was a bit terrifying. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was her perfume and how she was looking at him, but things felt different. it almost felt like if he were to reach out and touch her she wouldn’t shy away. before deciding it was all in his head, lena reached for him first. “ha ha,” he laughs sarcastically as lena brushed her fingers through his hair, commenting about his infamous multipurpose (and ineffective) shampoo from his teenage years. “i finally decided to listen to you and my sisters after all these years and take care of it,” he referred to his previously unkempt mop from the past. 

“i mean i wasn’t…i have nowhere to be,” he said as casually as possible, about to order himself another drink when a bartender announced last call. “chug that,” he gestured towards lena’s wine glass. “i have something i want to show you, actually.” slightly tipsy and more brave than usual, a lightbulb had gone off in his head on where he could take lena if she wasn’t interested in going home.

when lena looks back at their table , she realises that it's that time of the night where everyone has disappeared . everyone , that is , except jonah . because it's always jonah who stays with her , for her , end of the night , start of the day , pickups in cars , drop offs at home . JONAH . she knows its strongly thanks to the alcohol , but also strongly that part within her that she resists to the moon and back . . . but she allows her heart to lift at seeing him . it's been a while since they've all reunited like this , yet time barely feels like its passed . however , when she looks at jonah now , lena DOES know he's a different man . different from the boy who lived down the street . the one she went to school with . the one she'd fly over to visit in colleges , drunkenly pass shots to . there's a maturation within him . he's filled out in his shoulders , his hair . he's always been good looking but lena can ( slightly tipsily ) admit he's SEXY now .

she clears her throat as she grabs up their next round of wine , and sashays through the crowd to him , like he's her personal lighthouse . " last two standing , just like it used to be , huh ? " she feels like it's been a lifetime since it's felt like this between them . warmer . charged . SAFE . lena's walls are weakened because of the alcohol , but also just because she's missed him so damn much . it doesn't feel like they have years of history and baggage between them right now . her shoulder gently knocks against his. " it's weird to think we're like , technically old now , right ? or , at the very least , ' adults ' . " lena grins then , wide , almost goofy . unlike her usual reserved , polite one . " i'll be plucking greys from you any day now . "

jonah was wrapping up a conversation with one of his old school buddies when he felt a soft knock against his shoulder. “hey,” he smiled, the greeting spilling out quickly before chuckling at her banter regarding growing old. “how are you so sure i’ll be the one with the first grey to pluck,” he teased, lifting his glass back to his lips. “i saw you got cornered by madeline,” he feigned a grimace. “nothing could have prepared me for her monologue about getting cheated on the same guy…three times in six months.” his eyes locked with lena’s for a moment, throwing the last back of alcohol down his throat before clearing it. “you uh, are you staying much longer?”