CURSED BY A BLESSING

Send me one for my muse’s response. Feel free to change the pronouns to fit our characters!

“I think we need a more precise definition of perverted.”

“I consider myself a New York Jets fan.”

“That sounds like a good answer, I’ll take it.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I’m not letting you go back to the airport without answering the question.”

“You don’t look satisfied.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one.”

“What the fuck was that?”

“I’m sorry. I’m taking medicine for vertigo and I think it works because I’ve got it.”

“You’re in trouble, man.”

“You can’t talk to me like that.”

“Do you need a doctor?”

“I’m excited to meet them too, but not tonight.”

“It’s just too soon.”

“When did you decide that?”

“I have to get back into my meeting.”

“I was concerned that I’d been caught in the middle of something personal.”

“I can see now that I was worried for nothing.”

“Everybody here knows nobody cares.”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“Loyalty?”

“Where is everybody?”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“You couldn’t say the answer from over there?”

“Shit, how much does he know?”

“I don’t know what just happened.”

“No, I knew that was a trap but I knew you were seeing her.”

“That was the story about how sometimes things fall right into your lap.”

“The answer to that question has several parts.”

“This story won’t end.”

“I get that there are moments, small moments, infrequent moments where I’m not the easiest guy to work with but who the hell is?”

“Well it helps that you’re drunk most of the time.”

“Try not to make a scene.”

“Hey, Dickless!”

“Please, I’ll replace you in fifteen minutes.”

“I’m affable!”

“Was that something that really needed to be said four times?”

“You are a smart, talented guy, who isn’t very nice.”

“That’s enough.”

“I’m a marine _____ I will beat the shit out of you I don’t care how many protein bars you eat!”

“It’s easier to say than the truth.”

“I’m here for whatever you need.”

“Do you care?”

“I am a perfectly nice guy.”

“I’m never going on vacation again.”

“She’s mentally and physically exhausted.”

“She’s been to way too many funerals for a girl her age.”

“It’s not going to go your way.”

“Coincidentally that was the last time you were a nice guy!”

“I’m here to do your job.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I gave too much information.”

“Let me try to guess something and you tell me how much I get right.”

“Alright, you’re gonna see some things.”

“This still looking good to you?”

“The first thing I did when I got back was buy women’s clothes.”

“I maxed out three credit cards.”

“It will just be the three of us for dinner tonight.”

“I just got an allergy.”

“I hate lying to my father.”

“Does he want you to do things in the bedroom you’re uncomfortable with?”

“Damn it. These are just routine questions.”

“You put that all together really fast.”

“It’s not an original story.”

“Your eyes are red.”

“Did you hurt anything?”

“Mmhmm. Everything.”

“That’s personal, do you see me asking personal questions?”

“When was the last time you were in love with a woman?”

“You know that the only reason I’m still standing here is that I have no where else to go, right?”

“You’ve always had a little crush on me, it’s been cute.”

“She’s me before I grew into myself and got hotter with age.”

“I don’t understand why you chose this moment to lose it!”

“Hey, Jughead, I ain’t afraid of nothin’ except jellyfish which is completely normal.”

“What’s in this for you?”

“Why does it have to be like that?”

“It doesn’t, but it is.”

“You’ve done enough. You’ve done everything I’ve ever asked you to do and a ton of stuff I’d never ask anyone to do.”

“Fly away little bird.”

“Do you know how to flirt?”

“Okay, just sit here.”

“Did you get all those emails?”

“I didn’t read them.”

“It’s not my business; you can go anywhere with anyone.”

“Sometimes when you’re in Afghanistan it turns out you’re really in Pakistan”

“She’s crazy you know.”

“I’m just taking your temperature - on a scale of 1-10 how much trouble am I in with you?”

“That can’t possibly be my problem.”

“Yeah, they fucked up, _______, they trusted you!”

“You’re being sarcastic.”

“Tell me who you are again…”

“I just want to make sure you know that you’re still on this side of the door.”

“You’re spinning out of control.”

“Yeah, that whole speech did nothing for me.”

“I don’t mind if you sit here and observe, but I do mind you doing anything else.”

“Thanks for calling back.”

“Well I can’t help you there.”

“Seriously, you’re being disruptive now.”

“I want you to not use that language in front of women and to forever not to suggest that image to me.”

“Is he old enough to drive at night?”

“I don’t think that’s his name.”

“I’m not the IT guy.”

“I made a volcano in primary school.”

“I didn’t know we were supposed to learn something from it.”

“It’s going to be the biggest environmental disaster in history.”

“I think you may be overreacting.”

“You are dramatically under-reacting.”

“I’m the only one who’s not dramatically doing anything.”

“I know, it’s just lucky.”

“How often do you get this lucky?”

“This is my first time.”

“Michael Phelps with an outboard motor on his ass couldn’t outswim that fire.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve been a little inaccessible or terse lately, or for several years.”

“I don’t know what that is but I like it”

“People should know what they’re screaming about.”

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t talk to me unless you absolutely have to.”

“Between 8 and 9 o’clock you are completely mine.”

“I don’t see it working that way.”

“Well now you’re just a crazy guy shouting ‘Youtube!’”

“You warmed up or do you want to screw around some more?”

“Come with me.”

“This is beautiful.”

“I’m just sitting here, _______, I’m watching the news.”

“I can only use 140 characters.”

“Figure it out.”

“I’m breathing just fine.”

“Now you’re being unnecessarily flippant.”

“Oh my God, would somebody hit him with a stun gun?!”

“He’s going to be scared to death.”

“God you’re a pussy.”

“I’m too old to be governed by fear of dumb people.”

“You orchestrated the whole thing.”

“I know everything.”

“We just decided to.”

“I fucking loved what you said.”

“Are you kidding? You were like Batman.”

“Yeah, I shouldn’t say things.”

“We got off on the wrong foot. Can I buy you a drink?”

“I was wrong, you were right.”

“We should go.”

“I don’t know what you’re miming.”

“Can I talk to you a second?”

“You were perfect.”

“You two idiots were drunk when you met us for dinner?”