Anaemic Royalty

Everyone leaves, everyone goes, leaves me behind and doesn’t look back to even think of me.

But I remember, I remember every hand that’s touched my face, every hand that cupped my thigh, every tear that I’ve ever shed.

If I speak my mind- I feel like I’m annoying or I’m continuously repeating things because I get so caught up in my feelings that sometimes they’re all I can think about even after I’ve spoken about them.

If I be quiet because I don’t want to be annoying- it upsets those around me and those I care about the most. I become less talkative, less interested and interesting.

And then it’s a full fucking circle, I feel like I’m in trouble- get caught in my mind- speak my mind- overthink- get caught in emotions- become quiet- hurts those around me because I’m less attentive.

I wish someone was to sit there and be like ‘god damn, I miss her so much’ and when they finally see me they’re so happy they can’t contain themselves.

If I was to speak my mind without double checking my thoughts I would be in a whole lot of trouble.

Was about to tell my other that I feel unloved because I’ve gone days without sex, yet we live seperate from each other?