โห๊ฉ๏ฝก ๐ข๐ง๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ โ iโm ๐๐๐๐๐. 6teen. she/her. indian american. the writer of ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. on quotevโ i make art for it occassionally and post it here !!
i love love love interacting with people !! iโm semi-inactive on this blog, but iโm planning to begin writing and publishing here soon. my main blog for multifandom art is @mizumipy ! thank you for reading !
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wait am i tripping or is that the stepmother fantasie or wlskk saiso that one manhwa with the like neuschwanstein reference ihhama i love you please can we be friends i love you please bro i love ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
YES TWIN I LOVE STEPMOTHERS MARCHEN YES BWO I LOVE IT SO MUCH ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข YES bro YOU are my for lifer we are locked in we are best friends
I KNOW -2 PEOPLE WHOVE ACTUALLY HEARD OF THIS OH MY LORDDDFFF THIS FEELS LIKE HOZIERS YELL
cyruz.,,, can you imagine gmab mc in riddle's dream?? orz desperate riddle who unironically drreams about you being his long distance girlfriend ahahahahah pulling u away to his room to finally get some pussy,,!!!poor boy hes waited so long his whole life actually
oh anon if you only knew how convenient the timing of this ask was... i JUST finished riddle's dream in my own playthrough of twst and ohhh brother this little brat... seeing his reaction to seeing trey, the way he ran up and (i ASSSUMEEE--- the sprites dont give us much to go on) tugged on his arm... this riddle seems soooo clingy hejahahah??2?? why r u my twin okk so in spirit of us being locked in i wrote a little drabbleโฆficlet??? in gmab style so its soooo low quality and i promise i match your freak it just came out more vanilla than i was intendingโฆ! oh riddle if only you knew how big of a guilty pleasure u r,, oh curse gmab for being normal i would SO make them fuck if i could! the odds r against me anon
(wc: 1.3k words)
โ๐๐, ๐๐๐๐! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ hold out on me, too? You shouldโve told me you were coming!โ
Essentially, your fate was sealed with two (three?) sentencesโ sentences that absolutely no version of reality could prepare you for. Because in what fucking world (out of the two youโve been in) would Riddle Rosehearts be on top of you, smothering you in affections that would normally send him into cardiac arrest? Answer: NONE. So, what the fuck is all this?
Thereโs so many questions racing through your head all at once. Why is he dreaming about his hair being dyed? Why is he dreaming about being in a band with Chenya of all people? Why is he dreaming about his mother not being a cunt?ย
Why is he dreaming about being in a RELATIONSHIP with youโ?
If the real, lucid Riddle could realise this circus of a dream heโs havingโ you think heโd finally clock out of his shift of life. You, in all your confused, midly uncomfortable gloryโ strewn across his bed after practically being dragged off and tossed onto it. And him, straddling your waist, caging your legs in with his legsโ arms around your neck and kissing you into oblivion.
โJust kill me, just kill me, just kill meโโ Is what you would say if you could talk. But now, his mouth is on yours and you genuinely cannot get a moment to breathe.ย
His lips trail down from yours in a feverish rush, scattering kisses along your jaw, the hollow of your throat, that one point of your collarbone that makes your head all fuzzyโ And his grip only slides up to your neck and tightensโ not choking you, per se (you think youโd kill yourself if he was that freaky), but enough to keep you from moving.
โLong distance is so torturous. Do you have any idea how much Iโve missed you? Why did you have to go to that stupid school, anyway?โ He murmurs against your skin, and you think you die inside a little.ย
Theoreticallyโฆ maybe you should lock in and try to get some kind of info out of thisโ so that you can wake him upโฆ! But itโs kind of hard when the boy youโre just PLATONIC (keyword: platonic) friends with is rubbing up on you like he hasnโt had game for yearโ Oh, God. Heโs sucking on your neck now. HELLO?
You flail an arm, trying to push his head away, but he only nestles closer, nuzzling into your chest with the desperation of a starved man. You were ninety-nine percent sure he was trying to unbutton your shirt with his teeth. Oh, brother. . .
Now, itโs not as if youโre not totally into thisโฆ but for the sake of Riddleโ the REAL Riddleโ you should NOT be entertaining this.
โUhโ Riddle, hi, hello, yes babe I missed you too!โ You blurt out, craning your neck back as far as humanly possible. How do Vil and Neige act? How does Ace lie to a motherfuckerโs face like a jackass? Because this is genuinely the hardest thing youโve ever done in your life. โBut you canโt just DRAG me away from everyone when you have guests overโฆ! Arenโt you, uhm, excited to see Trey, tooโฆ?โย
Your words donโt seem to deter him in the slightest. If anything, he pulls back just long enough to flash you a grin so ridiculously lovesick you almost want to call the nurse. โOh, forget about them! Theyโre not going anywhere, anyways. Canโt I love up on you in peace?โ
WHAT THE FUCK. Riddle would NOT say this?? Why is he mischaracterising HIMSELF in his own dream???
โโฆBuddy. You have some fucked up dreams.โ You deadpan.
Riddle rolls his eyes. โI donโt know what thatโs supposed to mean, but just shut up and kiss me back, already.โ His hand moves to your face, squishing your cheeks so hard your lips are forced into a pucker. Riddle giggles, tilting his head at the sightโ before placing a series of chaste pecks right to the center.ย
. . .Right. So. Your dignity officially jumps out the window the moment he starts making little mwah, mwah, mwah noises against your lips.
โOhhh, youโre just so cute!โ He croons, and youโre sure heโs damn near buzzing with excitement. โI could just eat you up. Youโre so lucky our clothes are still on.โ
HUUUUUUHHH?
โWHO is YOU?โ Your mouth falls agape, and you shimmy backward until your back hits the grand headboard. You canโt keep up this charade, you genuinely canโtโ โI THINK itโs time to go get to know your new bandmates betterโ you know, the guys waiting in your living roomโ?! Letโs justโโ
โOh, donโt tease me!โ Riddle exclaims, falling into your lap with such a dramatic flair you can hardly believe youโre not the one dreaming here. โI missed you so, so, so much! Please? Just kiss me back once, baby? Pleaseeeโ!โ
There areโฆ even more questions in your head, now. Is heโฆ begging to let him hit? Why is he desperate in his own fucking dream? โฆWHY is he BEGGING you to LET HIM HIT?
โโฆIf I kiss you, will you go back downstairs and talk to the others?โ
โUgh, I guessโฆโ
Gang. Genuinely, why is he mischaracterising himself? Like unironically? What the hell is going on?? You know itโs just because heโs in a dream Malleus createdโฆ but Malleus could NOT possibly be blamed for ALL of this.
So you do just what you promise. You take his face into your hands and you kiss him. One firm, proper kiss.
But unfortunately, Riddle is just big and greedy. One big, gargantuan, gluttonous beastโ one that could rival even the fatty Riddle in Treyโs dream. Because one kiss is not enough to satisfy yourโฆ temporary boyfriendโฆ?
The second your lips meet his, itโs safe to say he positively devours you. As if the act of you initiating it had greenlighted all of his perverted needs. He surges forward like a drowned man finally given air, hand sliding up sporadically to cradle your jaw. Now, his body is flush against yours, encasing you against the mahogany word of his bed.
You groan despite yourself, surprised at his boldness. Itโs a sound that makes Riddle shiver atop of you, and he deepens the kiss instantlyโ swallowing every noise you make. His thighs clamp tighter around your waist, hips rolling against yours in an action youโre not even sure heโs aware of doingโ but it sends a warm feeling between your own thighs nonetheless.ย
โMmghโ ahโ!โ The little sounds slip out of you whether you like it or not, your hands fisting his shirt as he drags his mouth down to your throat again. He sucks, biting lightly, then laves the sting with his tongue.ย
It makes you squirmโ you canโt help but do it. But his arms only coil around you, locking you in place.
โOh, blastโฆ I canโt keep it to just a kiss.โ He pants, voice breaking into something whiney and needy. โYouโll let me have more, wonโt you? Tell me you willโ I need youโฆ I need you right nowโฆ right hereโ!โ
Itโs all a mess. Hot, sloppy, and just plain greedy. He moans into your mouth and he barely lets you gasp for airโ everytime you break away just ends in being pulled in for moreโ tilting your face just so, thumb brushing over your cheek as if he canโt stop himself from doting on you.
โFuck, Riddle! Behave yourselfโ?!โ You gasp, feeling his hand trail beneath the hem of your skirt. Itโs a gesture far too obscene for the Riddle Rosehearts to be makingโ butโฆ shit, he certainly drives a hard bargain. However, at the end of the day. . .
Youโre lucid, and heโs dreaming. So you do the responsible thing and wrench him off of you, sneaking one last kiss before it.
But seeing the poor pout on his cute face and the obvious tent in his pantsโฆ There's only one question you have, now;
When he does wake upโฆ will he agree to continue this?
warnings: implied non-con, off-screen character death, graphic depictions of gore, grotesque imagery, cruelty, supernatural psychological manipulation, monster/human relationship (dragon fae x human), slow burn (?), no happy ending, malleus is just not nice dude, dead dove: do not eat
greensleeves โ a traditional english folk song, commonly attributed to king henry viii for his second wife; anne boleyn, whom he later had executed.
o death, rock me asleep โ a tudor-era poem and lament, famously attributed to anne boleyn, believed to have been written while she awaited execution.
a/n: this was written over the course of a few months; you can actively see my writing style change throughout the story...
(wc: 23.8k words)
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, you wish youโd slammed the door in their faces. How dare they show at your doorstep unannounced, after a year of no-contact? Ace and Deuce. Your two idiot boys, as you so fondly nicknamed them, whom youโd grown up alongsideโ theyโd taken to a life of adventuring together, leaving poor little you at home to strum the lyre and read booksโฆ only to appear once more with even bigger dreams than when theyโd left.
It all happened so quickly you hadnโt even the time to resent them for leaving. If you could, youโd go back in time and say no. But the version of you from way back whenโฆ was clearly too nice for that, and too high off the joy of seeing your boys again. And now, you found yourself at the foot of a castle. A castle unlike anything youโd ever seenโ even in the grandest illustrations from your books.
It towered impossibly high, a strange fusion of cathedral-like scale and fortress-like strength. Every spire stretched toward the dark heavens, their tips nearly swallowed by the thick clouds above. The sheer scale of it was almost incomprehensibleโ it begged the question; who could possibly need a castle this massive? The archways were wide enough to fit entire caravans side by side, and the doors stood taller than any building youโd ever entered. It felt less like a home and more like a monument to something far beyond human understanding, and the thought made your stomach churn uneasily.
You clutched your lyre tighter, the polished wood now slick under your damp palms. With the backdrop of the full moon, combined with the surrounding, never-ending forestโฆ this place reeked of foreboding. And truthfully, you were never meant for such things. There was a reason youโd stayed behind while Ace and Deuce chased glory. Ahโฆ even in childhood, it seemed, they were always two daring boys with swords (stolen from your fatherโs collection, mind you), and you, a shy little girl with her worn lyre.
Somewhere ahead, said duo stumbled through the shadows with all the grace of a pair of toddlers in a glass workshop. Some things truly never change. Count on Ace and Deuce to foolishly decide to explore a castle well after daybreak, with nothing but lanterns and weapons in hand. You huffed lightly, observing their clumsy demeanour with a nostalgic fondness before forcing yourself to catch up with them.
The inside of the castle was just as strange as the exterior. The moment you stepped inside, the lanternsโ glow spilled across the vast interior, casting flickering shadows on walls that stretched unnaturally high into the darkness above. The sheer size of the space felt overwhelmingโ tooโฆ massive for what it actually seemed to hold. Sparse clusters of comically normal sized furniture scattered across the floor, each piece dwarfed by its surroundings. The tables and chairs, though intricately carved, seemed misplaced, almost absurdly small against the towering columns and endless walls. It were as if the castle was designed for something far larger, and these furnishings were added later, an afterthought to make it appear more lived-in.
Candlesticks stood upright yet unlit on the tables, their golden polish dulled by time but not tarnished. Tapestries, faded yet untouched by the dampness that often claimed abandoned places, hung from the walls, depicting scenes you couldnโt make sense of. It was all just so... odd.
"Guys... check this out." Ace whispered in awe, his voice cutting through your thoughts.ย
He stood crouched in front of a giant door, the iron bands reinforcing the wood looking thick enough to withstand a battering ram. He pushed it open with a groan, revealing a grand hall beyond. The room was cavernous, lit faintly by beams of pale moonlight filtering through the countless high windows lining the hall. Better lit than the rooms before, at least. You stepped inside hesitantly, the soft echo of your footsteps engulfed almost immediately by the sheer space. Despite its grandeurโ or perhaps because of itโ there was something unsettling about the hall.
โDoesnโt it feel...โ Deuce trailed off, glancing around nervously.
โEmpty?โ You offered, to which your companion nodded in agreement.
โYeah. That.โ
Ace, of course, seemed entirely unfazed, already crossing to the center of the room where a massive stone table sat. He ran a hand along its surface, then rubbed his fingers together, inspecting the layer of dust.ย
โWhoever left this place behind had some serious cash...โ he muttered, โlook at this stuff! That chandelier alone could probably buy us a small town.โ
You glanced up. The chandelier was an intricate mass, all crystals and gold, hanging precariously from the ceiling like some kind of jewelled leviathan. It looked heavy enough to crush anyone unfortunate enough to stand beneath it if it fell. It was mesmerising indeedโฆ but the unsettling feeling only grew stronger. It wasnโt particularly that the castle was too big (though thatโs not to say it wasnโt ornate and strange), so much as it was the sense that it wasnโt as abandoned as it seemedโ that somewhere, in the silence and stillness, something was watching.
"Iโm telling you," Ace hissed, his voice a notch louder than a hush, "this place has to be loaded with treasure. No one wouldโve guarded a dump like this unless there was something worth hiding."
Deuce shot him a glare. "Yeah, and what if the 'guardian' is still here? Just look at the size of this place! Thatโs nothing any ordinary human would live in. Did you forget what happened in Greystone Keep?!"
Your expression was utterly blank as you listened in the background, trailing a finger against the surface of the table in front of you. Youโฆ had no fucking idea what the hell these two were prattling on about. โGreystone Keepโ might ring a bellโ you think youโd heard of it in the drunken gossip in an inn, onceโ but that was the extent of your knowledge.
"Relaaax," Ace drawled from somewhere in the background, snapping you out of it, "if anythingโs still alive in this shithole, weโll hear it before it hears us."
As if on cue, a deep, bone-rattling rumble echoed through the hall.
The three of you froze in your tracks.
"Uhโฆ" Aceโs voice cracked. "That was the wind, right?"
Another rumble followed, this time accompanied by a tremor that shook dust from the ancient rafters above.
Your heart plummeted. "Ace. Deuce."
"Yeah?" Their voices came in unison.
โโฆI fucking hate you two.โ
It all happened in a blur.
Ace shrieking, Deuce yanking him by the collarโ you think the two of them blindly threw around some of their weapons all for three seconds, before they bolted back down the corridor. And you in all your inexperienced gloryโฆ made the terrible, terrible mistake of looking backโ something Ace and Deuce hard learned the hard way to never do. Something you couldnโt have known not to do.
The creature that emerged from the shadows stole the breath from your lungs. Black scales gleamed like a finely polished obsidian, and its enormous wings stretched out, blotting out the light trickling through the panes of the windows. Eyes like shining pools of emeraldโ and though it had no pupils, or any slits youโd associate with all things reptilian, you knew that it must be glaring down at you.
Deuce was right. Of course such an impossibly large structureโฆ would be made to house an impossibly large creature.
You tried to swallow, but your throat had turned to sandpaper.
The dragon moved so very slow, each step sending tremors through the floor that reverberated up your legs. Its wings curled inwardโ even folded they dwarfed your formโ giving the illusion that it loomed even closer than it already did. If you had to guess, youโd say it was at least fifty feet long.
You stood immobile. Every gasp was painful to your lungs, heavy with the scent of ash and metal, and every shallow breath you managed only served to fill your insides with that suffocating presence. Your limbs betrayed you, rooted to the spot as if the sheer weight of your terror had anchored you to the floorโ some poor joke played by your body, leaving you to face this monstrosity upright; a lamb awaiting slaughter.
Your breath hitched as it lowered its head, its sharp snout a mere few feet from you now. It sniffed its surroundings, a low growl rumbling deep within its chest. The sound so loud it vibrated down your spine to the rest of your body, and the pull of air so strong it almost brought you closer to the dragon.
โฆIn being the local bookworm, youโd read about death a great many times. Reports, studies, storiesโ all speculations and beliefs of what it must feel like to be inches away from deathโ to know you're about to have your life taken from you. To have your life flash before your eyes was such a timeless conceptโฆ something you'd admittedly thought of in the past. You had always contemplated how youโd dieโ what it would be like at the end of your life. But never would you have thought it would be like this. So visceral, so immediate, so unrelentingly real.
And as you stood in the face of certain peril, head beginning to grow hazy in overwhelm, there was only one conclusion to be drawn, one conclusion to be written within those odd reports, studies, storiesโ
Life does not flash before the eyes. There are no poignant memories or final epiphanies to bring you solace. Instead, you are entirely in the moment, every fiber of your being hyper-aware of the being before you.ย
Is this truly how you die? Will you stand in place like a foolโ let yourself die before you can hardly experience life? This canโt be.ย
All youโd hoped for was to become close to your only true friends once moreโ and look where that led you. Straight into the jaws of an inconsolable beast, ready to end your life for simply stepping past an entrance.
The realisation clawed its way through the reaches of your mind.ย
What a cruel jest, this all was.
Youโd read about moments like thisโ when sheer terror renders someone deathly still, when survival instincts fail, and they can only wait for death to claim them. Youโd always assumed that, if ever faced with such a fate, you would at least scream and run. But noโ here you stood, the perfectly pathetic portrait of fear, awaiting the inevitable.
You are nothing to this creature.ย
Every emotion, thought, memory, and experience that has made you who you areโ it might as well be dust on the wind. You are but another insect to be ground beneath its heel, another trespasser to be erased from existence.
And yet, a desperate, absurd thought flickered to life in the back of your mind. If this was truly the end, why not go out with words? You were, after all, a bard. Words were all you hadโ all you ever excelled at. Maybe, just maybe, they could save you now. Or, at the very least, delay what was coming to you.
"Y-You areโฆ" you stammered, your voice barely more than a whisper, "you are magnificent. Truly. To stand in the presence of such power and beautyโฆ Iโ I can hardly believe it."
The words tumbled out shaky but oddly eloquent, as if your fear had sharpened your tongue rather than silenced it.
"If this is how I die," you continued, your trembling hands clutching the lyre so tightly your fingers ached, "then I supposeโฆ I canโt think of a more fitting end than being claimed by a creature as awe-inspiring as you.โ
The words barely got to settle in before the dragonโs glare sharpened. Its wings stretched, the tips brushing the walls, making the vast hall feel small. โฆIf anything, the flattery only seemed to agitate it furtherโ and as it directed that nasty glare onto you, its expression was impossible to misread;
It wasnโt buying your bullshit.
You froze, feeling uncomfortable beads of perspiration form at your brow. This wasnโt working. Of course it wasnโt working! What kind of dumbass tries to butter up a dragon like this? You were seriously, seriously done for. Your shoulders slumped in defeat, the weight of its stare pressing you further down. The act, the excusesโ they all melted away, leaving only the raw truth.ย
In the face of death, is it really worth not being yourself?
โAlright, listen man, Iโm sorry. I give up, damnโฆโ you admitted, "I shouldnโt have come here. None of us should have. I didnโt mean to disturb you, or your home, or anything else. I didnโt even WANT to be here. I was just trying to get on my friendsโ good sides, yโknow? I mean, theyโre all I haveโ otherwise Iโd just be a sore loser stuck in my home with nobody to talk to but the pigeons in my ceiling."
Truly, is it worth wasting your last moments?ย
โฆYou know what? If this damned lizard was going to kill you, it might as well hear all of your life problems first. Let it be known that you are more than just verminโ that it is taking your life away before you can even make it all right.
โI mean, all I do is sit in my room all day reading books and strumming the lyre all night for whatโ less than minimum wage? Iโm not interested in your โtreasureโ donโt get me wrong, but I just wanted ONE thing to spice up my life, you know? Itโs just so frustrating beingโฆ beingโฆโ You paused, stumbling over your words.
โBeing so damn idle all the time.โ
The dragon stilled. The growl in its throat subsided, replaced by an eerie silence that felt, strangely, even heavier than its anger. It tilted its head slightly, as if your new words had been entirely unexpected. The nasty glare had yet to fade, but upon further inspection of its face, there was something different in its gaze now. It wasnโt anger, but rather it was something else entirelyโ Curiosity, perhaps? โฆNevertheless, encouraged by the lack of immediate incineration, you continued.
โNow Iโm going to fucking die for just trying to look out for my friends. Do you know how pathetic that is? To go out for ONCE in your life only for it to end so abruptly. Iโve hardly seen twenty wintersโ I canโt even legally DRINK in any of the taverns I play in. Would a dragon like you know what that feels likeโ?โย
You paused, your own words cutting you deep. Are you really going to die with nobody to hear your last words but a merciless dragon? What a pathetic fucking death.
At your sudden silence, the creatureโs massive eyes narrowedโ fully studying you. Then, after what felt like an eternity, it huffedโ a short, sharp sound that sent a gust of warm air ruffling your hair. Its posture eased just a little, and you almost dared to hope that you werenโt about to be a snack.
"โฆAh,โ you leaned your head back in defeat, examining the ornate decor of the ceiling above you, โyou really are magnificent, you know."ย
The words slipped out before you could think them over. As you looked back at him, into his eyesโฆ this time there was no ulterior motive, no desperate attempt to placate. It was the simple truth, spoken without expectation.
โAll my life, Iโve only read about things like you. Dragons. Faeries that watch over sleeping children. Talking gargoyles that come to lifeโฆ They were all precious stories in picture-books of unknown authors that I clung to while the other children played outside. I could only dream of seeing things as marvelous as you. Everyone else, even those two jackassesโฆโย
Your took a peek to the nearest window, thinking about Ace and Deuceโ you wondered how far they must have gotten, by now.
โThey all fantasised about slaying great beasts like you while I only ever dreamed of getting to SEE one.โ
โโฆAnd how I so feel like a fool, being the only child to be killed by one, now.โ
You couldnโt place the feeling in your chestโ nor could you place the look in the dragonโs eyes, anymore.
Nowโฆ one thing about you is that once you begin to talk, you never seem to be able to quiet yourself. Thoughts spill into voiceโ words that spill into a spielโ and soon, that stream becomes a river too swift to dam.
Perhaps, in this case, it was the fear wound tight within your chest. Perhaps it was despairโ despair of the last rites belonging to a person who knows they are not long for this world. Or perhapsโ and most shamefully perhapsโ it was because some wretched part of you liked being listened toโฆ even if your audience was a beast large enough to gobble an army whole.
โโฆIt is wonderful. Your home, I mean. Iโve never seen anything quite like it. I never even knew suchโฆ grand structures could exist. I canโt even begin to think about how much effort must have gone into constructing something like this. This kind of architecture just isn't possible for humans, Iโm sure of it.โ
โHonestly, itโs not even fair.โ You continued, shifting your grip on the lyre. โPeople like meโฆ Weโre notโฆ afforded the luxury to see things like this. We read about them. Hell, maybe even dream about them when itโs raining too hard outside and weโve got nothing better to do.โ
You gesture vaguely at the spires, the windows, the endless dark beauty around you. โAnd now itโs all justโฆ here. Right in front of me. Itโs like falling into the pages of the oldest book on the highest shelf. You know, the ones youโre not supposed to touch because theyโre so fragile and cursed and probably bound in someoneโs skin.โ
Your voice trembled on a laugh. Now you find yourself remembering the old, superstitious woman who ran the local bookshop. A little sweet and a little crude. Clearly lived to see many things. Sometimes, she reminded you of yourselfโ of who you would become. A lonely lady with nobody to talk to but those who would kindly spare a little time out of their day to lend an ear. Thatโs what you did for her. And oh, she filled your head with such magnificent storiesโฆ and warnings that were twice as so. You always found her endearing, but now you realise you shouldโve invested a little more than just affection when listening to herโ for she was completely right; โNever fuck around and find outโ.
โAnd Iโm not even going to get to tell anyone about it. Thatโs the worst part, really. All of this. Every column, every decor, every inch of this ridiculously excessive, ludicrous chandelierโ what is WITH this, anyway? Did you bedazzle it with your entire hoard?โย
You pressed the heel of your palm into your forehead in an attempt to soothe the oncoming headache. โItโs not fair. Itโs really not fairโ YOUโRE not fair. Am I really going to get slimed by an overgrown lizard with six limbs? Why do you have four legs and two wings? Is that biologically feasibleโ?โ
โDo you playโฆโ
The voice that reached you did not reach like any other youโve heard.ย
Perhaps it would be wrong to even refer to it as something to be heard. The words arrived all at once, like cold iron plunged straight into your brainโ inside you before you even registered they were said. A voice with no mouth. A breath without ever having been breathed. It clawed its way into your head, heavy and wrong, vibrating beneath your skin. You did not hear this dragon speakโ rather you felt it. Something never meant for a humanโs mind.ย
โโฆAs well as you prattle?โ
Do you playโฆ Do you playโฆ Do youโ
It looped ceaselessly within the confines of your mind, ricocheting against the walls of your skull until it bloomed into a headache. Yet, by sheer force of will, you bit the inside of your cheek, willing the voice into silence.
โUhโโ you managed, voice cracking in a sharp wince as the sound of your own vocals nailed the coffin on your internal agony, โโฆdepends on what you want playedโฆ?โ
โAnything that will convince me to spare your life.โ
Fortunately for you, the second time he spoke settled in your mind with greater clarity than the first. Yet it was hardly a comfort, for the only thought that gripped you in that instant was that you would much prefer to die here and now. Were youโฆ really understanding this correctly? Did this dragon honestly mean toโฆ Must you reallyโ
Play your stupid little lyre to a dragon to save your life?
โโฆJust kill meโฆโย
Only a fool would mistake the growl that followed as anything but a warning. Low and guttural, it rolled from deep within his chest and rattled the very air, vibrating through the floor and up your legs. He stepped forward, one singular footfallโ
That was all it took to send a primal jolt of terror through your spine.
โNOโ No no NOโ!โ You scrambled back, clutching your lyre tighter to yourย chest. โThat was justโ a force of habit, okay?! Just sarcasm! I didnโt mean it, I swearโ!โ
You shut your mouth so fast your teeth ached within the muscles of your jaw.
Music. He wanted musicโฆ Okay. You could do music. Youโve done music for coin, for food, for polite applause and for drunken sobbing. Youโve done it at weddings, at funerals, in taverns so loud no one even noticed. Surely, this was no differentโฆ except for the whole โdragon threatening to end your miserable lifeโ part. You shifted your grip on the instrument, fingers twitching. Thinkโฆ Your hands were trembling, so you should play something easyโฆ Something that always works, that gets a reaction from the crowd just from a few plucks drawn from muscle memoryโฆ
And soโย
Greensleeves.
Reliableโฆ check. Calmingโฆ double check. The song that makes even the angriest drunk at the far table soften his glare and listen if only for a moment and hopefully, in your case, enough to soothe the slightly sadisticโ who the hell makes a poor bard play for their life?โ dragon before youโฆ hopefully check?
Still, there was something humourlessly funny about it all. A song written for a queenโฆ by the man who would later send her to the executionerโs block. Thatโs how some rumours go. You glanced at the dragonโ your possible executionerโ and huffed a weak breath of laughter through your nose.
Fitting, you thought. How very fitting.
You donโt think heโd know the tune or its history. You doubt he caresโฆ But you care. Thatโs the joke, isnโt it? Playing the supposed ballad of an ill-fated queen while trying to soothe the king of the castle who could very well kill you before the last note. The notion almost pulls a dry laugh from your lungs. Just why the hell have you of all people ended up in this situation? But if there had to be a light at the end of the tunnel, howeverโฆ you would like to think that you're rather skilled with your fingersโ adept enough, at least, to strum a lyre with confidence. So if this was the task required to preserve your miserable life, perhaps you havenโt drawn the worst hand imaginableโฆ yet.
The melody that spilled forth was as lulling as it usually wasโ each note coaxed into existence by trembling fingers that, thankfully, needed not be steady to sound true. The lyre didnโt betray your panic, for its strings sang the same whether touched by grace or desperation. The sound drifted, delicate and sure, and were you not the one clinging to life with every pluck, you think you could almost fall asleep to it.
Truthfully, you dreaded the moment the final note would fall silent. So you slowed the tempo, drawing out each chord as long as your trembling fingers would allow, desperate to stretch the moment between life and whatever came after. If this was to be your death ballad, then better it lastโ a painful, aching farewell rather than a sharp, sudden cut. The thought gnawed at you, and a persistent ache twisted low in your belly; what fate awaited you once the music faded?
And when the dreaded moment finally arrivedโฆ silence was not what you were expecting. Your death, perhaps. A growl. Maybe even an ego-shattering belittlement for mediocre playingโ anything but silence. And after enduring the excruciating discordance of experiencing the creatureโs voice for the first timeโฆ you could say you were qualified to know that his silence was infinitely worse. You wiped your clammy palms against the folds of your skirt, fingers trembling despite yourself. Your eyes flicked upward, searching his immense faceโ almost pleading, though youโd never want to admit it aloud.ย
The dragonโs massive head tilted, his glowing eyes narrowing as he studied you. Then, with a deliberate slowness that made your heart skip, he lowered himself closerโฆ and the faintest puff of air brushed against your face as he sniffed around.
โUhmโฆโย
You breathed out, flinching backward as his massive snout brushed against you. The roughness of his scales was undeniableโ each one like a hardened shield, easily the size of your hand, scraping softly against the tender skin of your chest. You squirmed, eyes fluttering closed as your lips parted just barely before pressing into a thin line of restrained breath. Times like these were when you cursed the low neckline of your kirtleโ as turning your head away only bared more of your neck to him. The heat was so scorching you swore it would melt you down to the bone.
For a long, heavy pause, you stayed just like that; eyes wound shut in anticipation of something more. Every exhale from the dragon stirred the fabric of your clothes with a force more powerful than any stormโs gust, and you were almost convinced a spike of fire would follow.
โPlay it again.โ
It was a request no sane person would dare refuse. So there you stood, like some hapless jester, fumbling to recreate the melody youโd just played. This time, though, you let the notes unfurl as they were meant to, each one ringing truer than before. The dragon seemed to notice the difference in quality; his great head inched nearer, closing the space between you. You could only assume he was studying your hands, tracking the nimble dance of your fingers across the strings.
It was on his fourth time demanding the same song in a row that you paused. Your brows knitted together as you stared up at him, confused. โYou want to hear the same song again? Would you not rather I play something else?โ
"Do as I say. There will be time enough to wring every last melody from that clever little head of yoursโฆ but for now, I wish to hear that song.โ
The words sank in slowly, much akin to spilled ink bleeding into paperโ seeping deeper, staining more than they should. โTime enoughโ. Enough for what? Enough for him to hear every song youโd ever known, ever madeโฆ to keep you until there were none left?
You forced a laugh, though it came out thinner than youโd have liked. โRightโฆ โtime enoughโ. Iโm guessing that means Iโll have to charge by the hour.โ
The dragon stilled completely. For a moment youโd begun to wonder if youโd broken himโ but eventually his nostrils flared, sending another puff of hot air over your face. โYou will not be leaving until I say so.โ
โOhโฆ!โ Your fingers tightened around the strings. โSoโฆ Iโm under your patronage, then?โ
Slowly, he bowed his massive head until it pressed heavily against the floor, his eyes locking onto yours with a piercing, jagged sharpness that sent a cold shiver clawing beneath your skin.
โLabel it as you might, but in the end, your freedom is no longer yours to barter.โ
You forced another, even shakier laughโ clinging to the tattered edges of your playful facade. Some instinct within you whispered that if you kept playing dumb, youโd soon be playing deadโ but nonetheless, you persisted.ย
โB-Barterโฆ? What, like a pig? Two pigs? For my lyre? Iโll take itโโ
โFoolish mortal.โย
The dragon snapped at last, for it seemed even Lady Luck had become tired of your imbecilic ploys.ย
"Must I spell it out for you? I intend to keep you for myself. You will speak. You will play. And it will be for me, and only for meโ whenever I so desire. Now, the song?โ
The harsh finality of his words stunned you into complete, feeble stillness. Whatever gambit youโd been trying to play was dismissed outrightโ This creature wanted no part of your tricks or pleas. And in that moment, it became painfully clear to you that your fate rested solely at the impulses of this beast.ย
There was really no way out of this.ย
Quietly, you accepted that you might very well end up as nothing more than dragon kibble, and let your fingers resume their candenceโ the melody of Greensleeves.
At the very least, for all that, you were able to console yourself with the notion that Ace and Deuce had gotten away unscathed. So perhaps, in the grand scheme of thingsโฆ this wasnโt the worst possible outcome. And in any caseโ
When, in all the years of your life, had you not taken the suffering for your boysโ betterment, anyway?
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ dragon seemed utterly enthralled by every minor thing you did. He was no stranger to commands, either, and you were not one to deny a monster within its own dominion. For a good hour, he was transfixed by the way your body movedโ so he instructed you to walk, to run, to leap, to climb atop heaps of goldโฆ and then delighted in the way you slipped halfway through that. But to be fair, you couldnโt exactly gain proper footing on a great stack of metal.ย
Furthermoreโฆ he appeared to be fond of suspending you from various heights to assess the strength of your armsโ a habit you most definitely did not share an affection for in return. In fact, he seemed drawn to the idea of arranging you in different corners of the chamber altogetherโฆ almost like finding the perfect place on a shelf to set down a flowerpot. So in a matter of that first day, you were intimately acquainted with the vast cavern he called his own.
But for all his partiality to seeing you in different corners of his hoard, the same could not be said for the rest of the castle. On the second day, you were near certain he would kill you when he cast that glare down upon you for setting a single foot past the entranceโs threshold. โฆAfter that, you did not try again. The subsequent nights were spent curled on an old carpet (this particular one reminded you of the one displayed in your own home) spread across a mound of gold, so high that every shift or stir set coins sliding. It was a trap disguised as bedding; if you moved, the sound would wake him.
Though you were no doubt used to a solitary life, this one was unbearably dullโ the sort of dull that made hours drag like weighted chains. Day in and day out, you found yourself trapped in the same cycle of gilded idleness, with nothing to measure the passing time but the whims of your captor. And those whims, you soon learned, could be mercurial at best. Some days he would lounge nearby, trading quips with you as if the two of you were old companions; other days, he became so cold and severe you swore the very air in the cavern sharpened around you, and you found yourself imagining the pyre that would follow.ย
Yet without fail, what always framed this idleness was the music you brought him. Other nights, when you werenโt lazing around (the dragon was quite the sleeper himself, you see, soย his routine quickly became yours), you would pluck the strings until dawn. You offered him every melody you knew, every melody you were refining, and every melody you could conjure on the spot. Above all, though, his most beloved remained the first youโd ever given to himโ Greensleeves.ย
You werenโt sure how many days had passedโ only that it was several, and that some days you went without speaking to the creature at all. The silence should have been a reliefโฆ but instead it gnawed at you, until the only highlight of your day became those rare moments he deigned to speak. You told yourself it was only because it broke the monotonyโ because in this endless, stagnant gold-dusted prison, even a single new word was a change in the atmosphere. Yet somewhere between one meaningless exchange and the next, you began to notice how your ears pricked at the sound of his voice, how you found yourself measuring time not by the sun or moon, but by when he might next decide you were worth probing at.
You knew not if he had a name, or if he even knew yoursโ for you never told him, and he never asked for it.ย But over the days that ignorance festered into an insatiable curiousity, and the longer you remained in his company, the more intolerable it became not to know. Every word he withheld felt deliberate, a game you hadnโt agreed to play but could not stop participating in. You caught yourself watching him when you thought he wouldnโt noticeโ straining to glean something, anything, from that tilt of his head or the pause between his sentences. Even the smallest slip, the briefest hint, felt like a stolen jewel in a hoard you had no right to.
In the endโ and you had realised this suddenly, with much bitternessโ he had essentially made you into his mirror; just as fixated, just as incapable of letting go. Your hunger for the workings of his mind was as ravenous as his hunger for yours.
Perhaps it was because of this that you never ran, even when the chance was laid bare before you.ย
On occasion, the dragon would vanish into the wilderness, returning with some unfortunate creatureโ scorched beyond recognition, its flesh blackened and bitter, the sort of meal meant only to keep you alive rather than thriving. (It was such a pitiful sight that you felt cruel each time you sliced into it with the knife at your girdleโ the knife Ace had pressed into your hand on the eve of your birthday.) And during these times, when the dragon was gone, the opportunity presented itself to you on a silver platter. The world beyond was there, waiting, the open mouth of freedom gaping wide before you. Yetโฆ your feet remained rooted. So the only taste of freedom you permitted yourself came in those rare, fleeting moments when you leaned out of the gargantuan windows (and you mean this quite literallyโฆ they were large enough for the dragon to crawl out) of the chamber, flask in hand, to catch rainwater for drink.
Ahโฆ You remembered the times youโd complained of thirst, buzzing in the dragonโs ear (the general direction of it, at least) like some persistent mosquito. He would only huff (just a singular huff, without fail) and turn his head awayโ yet, almost unfailingly, a storm would break minutes later. The coincidence occurred so often you began to wonder if the rain answered to him, bending itself to his whims as easily as the rest of your world seemed to.
Because of all thisโฆ at the very least, life here had been survivable. You had food, you had waterโ and little else, perhaps, but that was enough. Enough to keep breathing, enough to carry on, and in these idle daysโฆ you were able to get by on the fact that this small mercy had seemed sufficient.ย
โฆHowever, as of todayโ as you lay atop your carpet staring up at the unnecessarily high ceilingโย
Sufficientโฆ was not that sufficient.
There was a certainโฆ โproblemโ with your life hereโ one that you could no longer ignore. Every part of you strained toward confronting it, until it made your skin crawl, your garments clung damp and close, and you felt swallowed whole by your own body.ย
With a weary sigh, you let yourself sink down, sliding along the mound of gold until the coins shifted and clattered beneath your weight. The sound stirred the resting dragon; But when he saw your path bent not toward escape, but toward himโฆ he merely closed his eyes againโ completely unbothered by your presence.
โAhemโฆ Oh, fair dragonโฆ I DO believe I am wasting away inside this dreary place!โย
Your voice carried an annoyingly theatrical flourish as you beckoned. Had you been any more familiar with the beast, you might have clambered onto his immense frame and made your boredom his problem. But alasโฆ intimacy had not yet reached such heightsโ so you were reduced to planting yourself before his head, hands holding tightly to your lyre lest he request music as some odd payment.
One great eyelid lifted, revealing a pool of green that regarded you with indifference. (For a brute lizard, he was disarmingly expressiveโ and that made the weight of his empty stares all the more cutting when he chose to use them.) But after a single second his eye shut again, head angling away with deliberate dismissal.
โI do not recall requesting the sound of your voice or music. Why do you disturb my rest?โย
Your jaw fell open at the sheer audacity. (Yet beneath the offense was a flicker of gratitude; as it meant your strange companionship had evolved far enough that you could be sassed rather than sizzled. It was a dangerous kind of luck, perhaps, but luck all the same.) Still, you were not so easily deterredโ so you darted around his muzzle once more, determined to recapture his attention.
โWonโt you at least hear me outโฆ? I have a requestโฆ andโ itโs an important request, too! Iโve been putting off asking you for daysโฆ But now itโs very unavoidableโฆ!โย
The dragon did not agree to hear you outโฆ but he did not refuse, either.
โIโฆ I needโฆโย
Now that you actually stood here, having to say what you needed out loudโฆ it dawned on you how odd (i.e, embarrassingly human and therefore belittling in the face of a mighty dragon) your โproblemโ was. Your shoulders slumped, and you fidgeted, glancing around as if the walls themselves might bear witness to your mortification.ย
โโฆI need to batheโฆ!โ You admitted in a rush, each word heavier with embarrassment than the last. โItโsโฆ itโs been a few days, and Iโve beenโฆ coping, yes, butโฆ itโsโ well, itโs uncomfortable, and, frankly, humiliating!โ
The dragon cracked his eye open again, narrowing. โBathe?โ His tone was flatโ and dare you say amused. โSurely, you can survive without it. You have managed thus far.โ
โYes!โ You said, waving your handsโ taking your instrument with it. โI have MANAGED! But Iโm a human, rememberโฆ? We clean ourselves regularly, and Iโฆ I insist upon it! Itโs only natural!โ
A low, almost imperceptible bellow sounded from his throat, the closest thing he had to a laugh. He stood from where he laid, peering down at your ant-like form.ย
โYouโฆ insist upon it?โ
You puffed your chest out despite the heat rising in your face. โYes, yes thatโs right. I insist upon it.โ
The dragon lowered his head, eyes boring into yours with unflinching scrutiny.ย
โโฆDo not say that phrase again. Such language ill suits your youth. You sound like a fool.โ
Yikes. You were quiet for a long time after that.ย
โโฆSo do I get to bathe, orโฆ?โ
What the dragon did nextโฆ it would only be right to say that it scared the living shit out of you.
His colossal jaws began to part, until a cavernous darkness framed by jagged pearls yawned before you. Heat and a faint smoky scent rolled over you, making your stomach pitch. You stumbled backward, a comically high-pitched scream tearing out of your throat.ย
โWait! Please donโt eat me! I didnโt meanโ!โ
โShut up. Why would I eat you for that?โ He interrupted sharply, the word vibrating through your body. โJust be quiet.โ
The sheer absurdity of it struck you like a slapโ this massive, terrifying dragon, scolding you like a schoolchild. Your terror cracked, and you froze mid-apology, lips pressed together to stifle the snort threatening to escape. Oopsโฆ
โClimb inside.โ He ordered bluntly. โI am taking you outside. You will bathe in the mountainsโ stream, but itโs quite a while to get there on foot. I have seen you move aboutโ youโre not good at it. I shall carry you.โ
โฆOuch. You flinched, but forced yourself to ignore the jab at your physical capabilities. โC-climbโฆ inside? You meanโฆ like an alligator?โ
A low exhale of impatience rolled from him.ย
โโฆYes, like an alligator. Now move.โ
He tilted his monstrous head and, with an almost unnerving delicacy, scooped you into his maw. The gesture was more reptilian than draconicโ really like an alligator ferrying its hatchlingsโ jaw unhinged just enough to cradle you in the cavern of his mouth. You hardly dared to breathe, lest a twitch of his tongue press you against the serrated ivory surrounding you.
Then the ground lurched. Stone groaned beneath his weight as he coiled through the towerโs circular chamberโ your gilded idleness, your prison. For all its grandeur, you were beginning to resent it; the massive doors that never once opened for you unless it was to relieve yourself in the nearby chamberpot (and even then the dragon followed closely behind); the jeweled relics heaped in careless mounds; the shafts of light that pierced the gloom only when the sun angled through the windowsโ On such days, the chamber glittered like a cathedral of glass, colors scattering across the ceiling in jeweled rainbows, and it truly was a beautiful sight. โฆBut more often than not, it had been little more than a dark vault, its treasures piled high as though mocking your insignificance.
The scrape of his talons along the walls reverberated as he pressed forward, squeezing through the window large enough to fit lesser beasts whole.ย
And then, suddenlyโ wind.
You felt the air through the cracks of his mouth. Gone were the shadowed piles of metal and velvetโ before you stretched an endless canvas of green and blue, rolling hills veined with rivers that caught the shining sun like threads of silver. The horizon unfurled into forests bristling like emerald seas, into distant mountains hazed in storybook blue. And the sky felt impossibly vast, clouds rearing like little castles of their own, shifting all the while.
Despite yourself, you leaned forward, craning your neck past the bars of his teeth to drink it all in. The wind whipped at your hair, tugged at your sleeves. For one delirious moment you felt as though you might tumble into the wide, bright world belowโ free at last.
โBack inside.โ His voice came, low and warning. โDo you have a death wish, Child of Man?โ
โฆBut you barely heard him. Your heart pounded against your ribs as though trying to answer the sky itself, every page of every story you had ever read suddenly made real before your eyes.
โYou have these sights around you all day and you choose to stay in that towerโ?โ You shouted, your voice nearly put away by the rush of wind.
โI have watched these lands for centuries, long before your bloodline ever came to be.โ He responded, and that was all he chose to say.
โOhโฆ I guess even beautiful sights can get boring, huhโฆ? You know what, I actually understand that. When I was a kid the whole town was my playground and then it becameโฆโย
The words died off on your tongue, your shoulders sagging with them. At the mere thought of your hometown, your mind began to unravel. First came the memory of your solitude thereโ quiet, unremarkable, utterly stifling. Cobblestone streets washed in grey, hemmed in by rows of timber houses so tightly packed they seemed to lean over the narrow lanes. Air that always felt heavy, steeped in the dark smoke that came from a hundred chimneys. Yet the longer you dwelled on it, the sharper the irony became to you; For all its monotonyโฆ you found yourself missing it, now.
โIt became merely the place you lived?โ
โHuh?โ You snapped out of it, blinking a few times in surprise. Hearing his voice invade your mind after thinking to yourself was always a sort of whiplash. โOh, yeah! Justโฆ where I lived. When youโre young everything seems so magical and when youโre grown it justโฆโ You paused. โโฆI told you how I always read storybooks as a kid, right? Wellโฆ This is a sight straight out of one, I swear. Yourโฆ โmundaneโ really is amazing.โย
โI would say your mundane holds its own fascinations, as well. But what draws me most is your sharpness of opinion. Only twenty winters youโve lived to see, was it? How swiftly your kind ripens.โ
โฆIt seemed, perhaps, that fortune had favored you todayโ for the dragon seemed to be in a talkative mood for once. Such moments were rare, and youโd be damned to let this chance slip from your grasp.
โI just like to talk, thatโs all!โ You blurted, your voice fraying as the wind tugged it thin. In hindsightโฆ maybe sticking your head out of his mouth to get a good view wasnโt the smartest idea.
A low, rumbling sound rolled in his throatโ shaking you with it. His great wings beat once, twice, and the whole world seemed to shudder with the force of them. โThat much is evident.โ He said at last, his tone even. โAnd I would call it one of your strengths, little one. Youโฆ amuse me. When I was younger, I was often told that I was a quiet one myself.โ
You gawked up at him, squinting past the press of his jaw. โReally?โ The mental image of a cute, quiet little baby dragon got a snort out of you. โCanโt imagine you being youngโฆโ You muttered, a laugh finally breaking loose. โWhat, were you also once a tiny thing, getting scooped up in a bigger dragonโs mouth? Ooh! Waitโ do all dragons carry their kids like this?โ
โHm.โ He only hummed, and nothing else after thatโฆ leaving you to wonder if youโd actually close to the truth or missed embarrassingly by a mile. You were still caught in that thought when his voice finally followed;
โYou may want to hold onto something.โ
โWhaโ?โย
Suddenly, your stomach was lurching out of your mouth alongside a scream. The world tilted on its axis, and you found yourself clinging to one of the dragonโs teeth. Wind battered your face, sharp and unrelenting, tearing tears from the corners of your eyes as the once dazzling outside spun into an incomprehensible blur of green and blue.
The dragon had plunged downwardsโฆ and like a complete and utter jackassโ hadnโt bothered to actually warn you. The sheer drop made your insides somersault, so you pressed yourself tighter against the toothโ arms scrambling for purchase on smooth enamel. Every bone in your body swore you were about to be flung free, hurled into the dizzying expanse of sky.
But suddenly, as if the whole ordeal had never happenedโ all was still. At some point, you'd shut your eyes, and now they refused to open. You didnโt know where you were just yet, but as you stayed there in silence, you let yourself listen to the world around you. The low roar of rushing water rolled steady in your ears, a constant thunder that seemed to seep into your bones. Beneath it came the lighter soundsโ the trickle of smaller streams, the soft lapping of water against stone, the sigh of a breeze stirring through unseen leaves.
And thenโ without ceremonyโ you were dropped. One moment surrounded by warmth and shadow, the next colliding with damp grass and stone, a startled yelp breaking out of you before you could stop it.
โHonestly!โ You huffed, pushing yourself up, brushing at your clothes. โI couldโve climbed out on my own, you knowโโ You stopped, shaking your head with a mutter. โWhatever. Fine.โ
โOh? I believe what you mean to say is โthank you for bringing me hereโ.โ His voice rolled over you, smooth as everโ if the dragon had eyebrows, you were certain one would be arched right now.
You froze. Then, with a reluctant sigh, you parroted back, โ...Thank you for bringing me here.โ
A soft puff of air came from his nostrils, and you could swear it was amusement.
At last, you dared to lift your eyes. The sight stole the rest of your irritation clean away. What you saw could only be compared to a scene being opened to you in a bookโ the kind that makes you wonder if such places could even exist outside of imagination. But the waterfall spilling into a clear, running stream cradled in by a meadow of bright, swaying green and scattered stone, with tall pines climbing skyward beyond was proof that they really, truly could. Your chest rose with a sigh you hadnโt meant to release. Almost without thinking, you stepped forward, drawn by the sheer beauty of it all.
The ground trembled with the weight of the dragonโs sudden growl. You froze mid-step, heart kicking against your ribs. The reminder was sudden and brutal; you werenโt here aloneโ nor were you even with a friend.
โSorryโ!โ You blurted quickly, turning back toward him, hands raised in peace. โIโm not trying to run away. I justโ this place is beautiful. I got a little carried away.โ
โI brought you here to bathe. Do not run off, unless it is to the water.โย
To your relief, the dragon did not seem irritated. If anything, it felt more like a gentle correction. Swallowing, you turned toward a broad rock near the bank and moved to stand before it. Your hands found the ties of your bodiceโ but as you tugged them loose, unease prickled at the back of your neck. Slowly, you turned around to look at him once more.
โUhm, can youโฆ look awayโฆ?โย
He did not respond to that. So for a moment you hesitated, before continuing with what you were doing. With deliberate care, you pulled the lacing free, your kirtle slipping from your shoulders in one smooth motion to pool at your feet. One by one, you released the sleeves tacked over your shift, letting them join the rest of the fabric in a small heap. You were still clothedโ your shift hung modestly over your formโ but even soโฆ you couldnโt help but feel a little more conscious of your body and your being under such an intense gaze.
โโฆI will do as I please.โ He quipped suddenly, as if reminded abruptly that a response was still needed. โNow tell me, Child of Manโฆ are such garments common where you come from?โ
โOh?โ Your mouth parted in surprise. โYou want to know about my clothes, is that it? Wellโฆ Yeah, it is common, I guess. Everyone wears uhmโฆโ Your line of sight fell to the kirtle, now laid across a large rock. โWell, that right there is a kirtle. Thatโs the outer garment. If youโre not royalty, that is. Royalty will wear a gown over that, andโโ
โI am aware of the garments of nobility. Tell me about you.โ
You flinched at the interruption. There was no cruelty in his tone, and yetโฆ he spoke with the kind of easeful command that left no room for disobedience. How could someone manage to speak like that in such a casual manner?ย
โMeโฆ?โ You pointed to yourself, pursing your lips in thought. โโฆThis is an old kirtle. I wear it when Iโm running errands and donโt really care about what happens to it. Next to it is my girdleโ thatโs what I hold my flask and knife on, see?โ You picked up the items, the ones youโd been sustaining yourself with for the past weeks. โIโve never really understood the point in attaching a girdle book and wellโ pomanders would be nice but thatโs much too expensive for me. Andโฆ this is my shift. And petticoat.โ You ran your hands over the cloth on your body for emphasis. โThereโs meant to be a bum pad too to support all the weight but I forgot itโฆ Uhm, anyways, Iโฆ change and wash these often and thatโs what helps keep the kirtle clean. That one is just a pain in the ass to washโฆโย
You grumbled, reflecting back on all those dreadful wash days. It was times like those you truly did appreciate your mother, who used to take it upon herself to launder not only her familyโs clothes but the neighboursโ as well. If she were still around, she would no doubt chide you for your disdain of washing.
โOh! And these are my stockings. Theyโre tight on my skin so I never have to tie them in place like other people do.โย
You gathered the weight of your petticoat into your hands, lifting the firm fabric with care. Beneath it, your leg was sheathed in soft whiteโ stockings pristine as porcelain. Youโd long since outgrown them, but you took a satisfied sort of pride in how spotless youโd maintained them over the years.ย
โI even say that theyโre my lucky pair. Thatโs why I havenโt replaced them, you seeโฆโ A fond smile ghosted your lips. It was nice to talk about the niche thingsโ things youโd kept to yourself with a quiet passion.
Then, as though doused with cold water, the warmth in your expression faltered.
Right. You were explaining stockingsโฆ to a dragon. You blinked hard, fighting the flush threatening to creep up your neck.
โSoโฆ yeah! Thatโsโฆ what I wear.โ You rushed, the words tumbling out in a panic. โAnd most people in my town wear it like that too. Uh, some people donโt bother to tack on extra sleeves because, wellโฆโ You gave a little gesture to the sleeves of your shift, flapping them for emphasis. โBut I think extra sleeves are pretty, and theyโre nice to perform in. The ones from the shifts are just so plain, you know? Actually, those ones over there were a gift fromโโ
Deuce.ย
A gift from Deuce.
It had been raining that day, you remembered. Not hardโ just the soft, steady kind that darkened cobblestones and made everything smell of petrichor thereafter. Youโd been practicing an original composition beneath the awning of the smithy when heโd come bounding over, soaked to the bone, with a grin far too wide for someone dripping water onto your clothes.
The smithy was owned by a kindly widower with two childrenโ a son and a daughter who reminded you far too much of yourself and Ace in your younger years. Perhaps that was why you so often chose to practice there, where you knew their curious ears would catch your musicโ especially the little boy, who thought you hadnโt been aware of his presence each time he hid behind the workbench. In time, it became your favoured haunt whenever you were not engaged in some performanceโ rivaled only by the old womanโs bookshop. More often than not, you could be found in one of those two placesโ so much so that your boys had long since learned to seek you there rather than at your own lonelier, emptier home.
Deuce hadnโt even waited for you to ask when heโd arrived in town or what he was doing there. He hadnโt said a word eitherโ merely held out a strange parcel to you.
โI bartered for them in town!โ Heโd exclaimed, breathless and proud. โThe man said heโd done work for nobles, evenโ andโฆ well, you deserve nice things too.โ
โฆYou deserve nice things, too.
Your hand tightened around the folds of your petticoat, fingers curling into it until your own nails began to dig into your palm. For a moment, the forest around you seemed quieter, as though it, too, had been caught in the warmth of that memory. Every luxury you owned, from your beautiful sleeves to your beautiful knifeโ all of it was thanks to your boys. But then you shook your headโ just enough to scatter the mist from your thoughts, just enough to return to the reality of where you were and who was watching you.
โThey were a gift.โ You said, voice quite soft now. โFrom a very good friend.โ A pause. Then, with a sharper breath, you straightened your shoulders and cleared your throat. โNowโฆ I have to bathe, soโฆโ You met the dragonโs eyes, steady as you could manage. โWill you look away?โ
The dragon did not speak for a long, long time.
โNo. I do not think I will. I have not looked upon anyone in a very, very long time, you seeโฆ Allow me to indulge myself.โ He said at last, and lowered his head so as to allow him a better view of you.ย
Indulgeโฆ? Your shoulders tensed as you measured him in quiet disbelief. He truly meant toโฆ watch you as you bathed? You swallowed thickly. โฆWell, you supposed there wasnโt any point in arguing. Not with something that could rend the forest apart with one lazy swipe of its claws. And certainly not with someone who thought your discomfort counted as indulgence. So you turned without a word, sliding your shoes off in the process, and you let the river greet you with its hush. Its waters trickled gently over stones worn smooth by centuries. Moss clung to the banks, soft and vibrant, and the air hung heavy with the scent of pine and something older still.ย
Your hands trembled as you peeled your lucky little stockings from your legs. One, then the otherโ timid and slow, folded neatly away. You moved on to your shift without pause, lifting it over your head in a single breathless motion, folding it with a similar, rushed sort of precision.
The breezy air pressed in at once, cool against the places of your body it ought not touch. Places another personโ let alone a dragonโ ought not see. And only then, as you stood fully exposed, did you cover yourselfโ one arm curling instinctively across your chest, the other dipping low in a gesture both modest and childlike.
The dragon chortled. His head tilted, ever so slightly, as his eyes grazed slowly over you in a manner too measured to be anything but deliberate.
โYouโฆ Youโre seriously laughing at me right nowโ?โ
โOh, why do you look at me so?โ He asked, voice lilting with false innocence. โYour cheeks are flushed, and you seem even smaller than before. Surely you are notโฆ embarrassed? Tell meโ why is that, little one?โย
โฆWhat an unfair dragon. That stare of his couldnโt possibly warrant anything but embarrassment. Had it come from a personโ youโre sure it would have sent ghost-hands trailing down the slopes of your hips, cupping your breasts without so much as a whisper of permission.
โHumansโโ You winced at the crack in your voice. โWe donโtโฆ show ourselves bare to just anybody! You wouldnโt know because youโreโฆ well, youโreโฆโ You squeezed your legs together to conceal the meeting of your thighs, using your now free hand to gesture vaguely at the dragonโs entirety. โYouโre a dragon! Youโre covered in scalesโฆ! I donโt have scales.โ
โYou donโt have scales, no.โ The dragon agreed, and you couldnโt tell if he was missing your point out of genuine ignorance or pure spite. โQuite the observant Child of Man, you are.โย
โฆSo it was pure spite.
โOh, haha.โ You laughed dryly, completely unimpressed. โYes, very funny. Quite the funny dragon, you are. Now SHUT UP.โ You huffed, inching toward the river with the stiff caution of someone very much aware they were being watched.
It was harder than it shouldโve beenโ because you refused to turn your bare back to the creature. Instead, you moved in clumsy reverse, each step accompanied by the rustle of grass and your own mounting dread. Then, your foot caught on a rootโ or a stone, or a curse sent by your worst enemiesโ and you very nearly wobbled straight into the water. A sharp yelp escaped you as your arms pinwheeled for balance. The cool splash that followed as you stumbled knee-deep was insult enough.ย
But worseโ so much worseโ was the dragonโs laughter.
โUghโฆโ You grimaced, kneeling on the riverbed with your hands curled into fists on your lap. You glared up at the dragon, a newfound sense of bravery now that you were covered by the water. โYeah, yeah, laugh it up!โย
The dragon only responded by inching his massive head closerโ close enough that the weight of his breath stirred the water and sent your hair dancing behind you. You squinted against the gust and stiffened as the tip of his snout brushed against your shoulderโ then he pressed.
โHeyโ!โ
With a gentle nudge, he tipped you clean off balance. You fell back with a splash, the cold closing over your chest before you managed to scramble upright againโ sputtering, soaked, and thoroughly humiliated.
He chuffed at that. A pleased sound, low and rumbling, not unlike a purr.
โGo on.โ He urged, eyes gleaming with that slow-burning curiosity of his. โBathe. As you normally would.โ
You froze.
He tilted his headโ again. That strange little habit, as though mimicking the mannerisms of something more human than beast.
โI want to see.โ
The river curled at your waist as you reached down, cupping water in your hands and dragging it up the length of your arms. There was no cloth, no soap, no oils to perfume the airโ only the biting chill of the stream and the weight of his expectant gaze. It was either this dragon was a massive (and you mean that quite literally) pervert orโฆ
โOh. You want me to tell you, huh?โ You murmured, voice barely louder than the sound of the current. โYou want to hear how I do it, am I right?โ
The dragon was silent for only a moment.ย
โTell me.โ
โ...Okay.โ
You reached again, dragging water up over your chest this time. Your hands swept over your collarbones, then slowly circledโ palms flat, pressure firmโ just above the area of your breasts.
โI start here.โ You said, as clinically as you could manage. โOver the chest and under the arms. Itโs where I sweat the most.โ
Your hands slipped lower, dipping beneath the surface, dragging slowly along the undercurve of your chest. The motion was smooth, habitualโ but under his stare, it felt foreign. Lecherous. Was it wrong to feel violated? Heโs just a dragon, after all. Though his gaze may have felt like that of a manโฆ he still wasnโt.
But as you worked your way down your sides, your waist, your hipsโ you couldnโt convince yourself of that. You shifted, twisting lightly as your palms swept over the place where thigh met pelvis.
โโฆI wash here after.โ You whispered. โAnd then here. Between the legs. Itโsโฆ delicate, so I go gently.โ
Your fingers slowed at your inner thighs, a feigned act of precision masking your trembling. Then your hands slid back up, along the swell of your hips and the gentle dip of your lower belly.
โThen the arms. The legs. Behind the knees. The back of the neck.โ
Heโs just a dragon. You hated that your voice had gone breathless. Heโs just a dragon.
โEvery part.โ You finished finally. โUntil the skin is clean. Uhmโฆโ You quickly submerged yourself beneath the surface of the water, relieved that you were done with it. โItโs normally easier at home because I have a brush to scrub myself with. Andโฆ soap. I mean, you can clean yourself with water and your hands just fine butโฆ itโs just nicer with soap andโฆโย
You trailed off. You couldnโt hide your bashfulness behind rambling any longer. โฆWhy was he staring at you so intently? Your skin prickled at the sight. Heโs just a dragon. Heโs just a dragonโฆ You had to keep reminding yourself, over and over. Heโs just a dragonโฆ but why did his wandering eyes, wandering over every bare inch of you feel so human?ย
He hadnโt moved since youโd begun, nor spoken. It was as if he were memorising the sight of youโฆ and not with the hunger youโd expect from a predator of his kindโ but with a strange, unnerving persistence that made you wish you could vanish beneath the riverbed entirely. Is this what blushing brides felt on their wedding nightsโ? You wondered. It was only when you were completely finished did his voice break the uncomfortable silence;
โPlay for me, Child of Man, the song I like best. Let me hear it, just as you are. I want to remember you like this, for I find I much prefer you in this state.โ
โฆAny discomfort you may have feltโ clearly, it mattered not to him. So you did the only thing left to you; reached for your lyre, where it rested beside the folded remnants of your dignity, and kneeled once more in the water, body still bared to this creature of stories. And you knelt there in the river, and you playedโ fingers steady despite the heat of his looking.ย
And you pretended for your own sake that the musicโ Greensleevesโ was for your ears alone. That in this act of playing, you may reclaim something that no eyes, not even his, can take from you.
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ allowed you to explore the forestsโ as long as he was there to accompany you. He had taken to overseeingโ like a parent supervising their giddy child running around the streetsโ never interacting or partaking in the fun, but never letting you out of his sight. But even if he were not there, you couldnโt say you would have been alone. As you soon realisedโฆ the woods were far from empty.ย
One day you strayed from the path with a laugh, chasing after the scatter of wildflowers that grew in the shade of the towering pines. Sunlight spilled through the branches in broken shafts, catching on your hair as you darted from mossy rock to fern-covered hollow. It felt almost like play, (and it would have been exactly like when you were a child, had it not been for the absence of your boys) though you could sense the dragonโs gaze following your every step, heavy and unblinking. Still, you spun through the clearing as if the whole forest might belong to you, and for a fleeting moment youโd nearly forgotten the dragonโs presence.ย
It was just then, you noticed, that there were tiny lights which blinked in the canopy. Darting quick and erratic, they couldnโt have possibly been beams of the sun. In a sense, they almost looked like firefliesโฆ and upon further inspection you realised they were not fireflies or any insects to nameโ but rather little beings no larger than your hand. They came in twos and threes, flickering just past your visionโ glimpses of wings, comforting laughter that sounded just as the windchimes of your town did. They circled you the way minnows dart about a dropped crumb, not quite daring to touch, not quite able to resist.ย
It continued this way for a few days, until they realised that the dragon took you here quite frequentlyโ and that you were a new addition to their world. So eventually, they learned to interact with you as a dynamic being, rather than something to be observed.
And today, it seemed, the silent little things had unanimously decided to confront you directly.ย
One creature stood on your shoulder and pulled at a strand of your hair until you swatted it away by reflex. You felt terribly bad at first, but if anything, it only served as entertainment to them. Another hovered near your ear, whispering syllables like secrets in a language you thought you understood at firstโ only to listen closer and hear nothing but nonsense. When you tried to swat at that one, three more tugged at your boots until you stumbled. Their laughter rose, the sound of the wonderful windchimes, high and bright.
You were absolutely charmed. They plucked flowers and wove them into chains to drape around your wrists, your throat, your crown; they tugged your fingers toward them and danced along your palms as though the creases in your skin were paths to follow. You laughed and played alongโ because how could you not? Nothing in your books or stories could compare to the delight of having them here, weaving daisies into your hair and tugging at your nose.
A bold one fluttered before your face, balancing a ring of blooms precariously on your head. You clapped your hands at their craft, only to feel a sudden warmth stir the crown. The dragon had lowered his head to peer at you more closely, and with a faint, amused huff of breath, the crown tumbled from your hair into your lap.
Your laughter spilled outโ but for once, the faeries did not share it. In the instant the dragonโs shadow fell over you, their tinkling mirth snapped silent. They darted for the safety of leaf and branch, vanishing so quickly the clearing seemed empty again. Only when he drew back did one or two daring stragglers peek out from the undergrowth, their glow faint and watchful.
โYouโre scaring them!โ You chided playfully, putting the crown back atop your head. โThese are my only friends now, you know. Please donโt run them off like you did my other ones.โย
โHa.โ The dragon laughed dryly. โThey merely observe the proper respect that I require. You alone are the exception, little one.โ
You tilted the crown slightly, glancing toward the shrubbery where more faeries trickled out. Watching, but not quite approachingโ like how they first treated you.ย
โHuh. So I guess theyโre respectful, huh? Canโt say the same about me. Youโve really got to stop sabotaging my friendships, though.โ You murmured, still smiling, though your thoughts had begun to drift elsewhere. For a moment, you imagined Ace and Deuce running through these woods instead of you. How would they have reacted, seeing these creatures? How you wish they could be here to experience it with you.
โHm? What is the matter? Your mind is suddenly elsewhere.โ The dragon said quietly, almost as if to tease. โDo not tell me you are thinking of those two?โ
โWho? Ace and Deuce?โ You questioned, not quite present in the conversation. But as soon as you uttered their namesโฆย
Everything in the forest stilled.ย
The tinkling of the faeries vanished; their movements froze, suspended in midair. Every sound seemed to drain from the clearing. The dragonโs stare snapped to you, sudden and unwavering, his attention fixed with an intensity that made the air feel heavy.
โThose are their names, then?โ He leaned in, so much so that his snout brushed against you.
โฆYou hadnโt really thought about it. Hadnโt really dwelled on the old, cautionary talesโ the warnings murmured about the nature of fae. Youโd assumed the ones you were warned about would be different than the ones you interacted with here, considering that these ones didnโt seem malicious. And thereforeโฆ you hadnโt really thought about one of the biggest cautions;
Never give a fae your name.ย
A cold shiver ran down your spine. Words caught in your throat, and for a heartbeat, you froze, unsure how to respond. Surely, if that superstition were trueโฆ it could not have applied to your boys, as well?
Then, forcing your voice steady, you shifted the topic.ย
โAh, those boysโฆ always argued about the silliest things.โ You began, describing the way Ace and Deuce bickered over trivial matters, laughing quietly at the memories.ย
You told of their little quirks, the clever tricks they played on one anotherโฆ things you knew the faeries would find appealing. But you never, ever repeated their names. You just spoke about them, letting the warmth of the recollection fill your words, attempting to draw attention away from what youโd just revealed. At some point, you werenโt even sure of what you were sayingโ only that, at the very least, you werenโt confirming or denying the dragonโs question.
By the time you had stoppedโ and this was only because youโd become overwhelmed by the dragonโs undivided attention to every last wordโ the forest seemed a little more normal now.
The dragon was silent, looking down at you rather blankly.
โโฆYou speak of theseโฆ cowardly fools rather fondly.โ
Your chest tightened at the words, but you didnโt respond immediately. You shifted the crown slightly, your fingers lingering over the delicate petals as if they could anchor your thoughts. โฆCowardly fools? Fools, for sure. Butโฆ cowardly?
โMy friendsโฆโ You corrected carefully, almost to yourself at first. โTheyโreโฆ wonderful. Clever, brave, and kind in ways you couldnโt understand unless you were there with them.โย
You glanced at him, and though you tried to keep your voice light, a subtle edge crept inโ a rising passion within you.ย
โWhen I was a child I had nobody else but themโ they were the only people who didnโt ridicule me for being such a recluse. You like me, donโt you? They were the ones who taught me how to be like this in the first placeโฆ How could you be so quick to insult them like that?โ
The dragonโs lips curled upwards in a snide manner. You didnโt know he could smileโ let alone look so deliberatelyโฆ cruel.ย
โFriends? Is that truly what you insist on calling those who dragged you here? Who left you trembling at my mercy while they fled with their tails between their legs? So you have fond memories of them. What good does that do now, now that they have abandonedโโ
โOh, come on, youโre talking nonsenseโ thatโs not fair!โ You interrupted sharper than you initially intendedโ but you did not regret it.โThey didnโt abandon me on purposeโฆ it was you that was the problemโ! They wouldnโt have left me otherwiseโฆโ
But the rest withered on your tongue. You knew the truth of your friends. You knew them better than anyone. Yet when you tried to pull the memories forward, tried to shape them into something solid to hold against the dragonโs claims, they slipped like water through your grasp. The more you reached, the less you caught.
Your thoughts tripped over each other, a dozen reasons surging to the surface only to tangle in your throat. It was a horrible, nasty feelingโ one that brought tears to your eyes. You were certain, werenโt you? You were certain they would never leave you on purpose. So then why couldnโt you say it? Why couldnโt you answer him civilly, simply, the very way he spoke to you right now?
The heat rising in your chest wasnโt anger aloneโ it was panic, it was humiliation. He was speaking to you as though this were nothing more than a fair discussion, and you were the one floundering, flustered and foolish. But how could you argue against him, when your own thoughts betrayed you?
โDo not cut me off.โ What scorned you most was that he did not even seem offended by your attitude. โIt is the truth and you know it, donโt you? I did not think you to be blindly unreasonable. Tell me, am I wrong?โ
His composure stung worse than any raised voice. Among all of the questions he presented to you, there was only one on your mind; How could you lash out at him so, when he is only trying to talk to youโ?
โYou stand here because they abandoned you. If they still valued you as you claim they did, they would not have let you fall into my claws. Yes, I intimidated them. Yes, I intended to kill you all. But circumstances do not matter when, in the end, your loved ones chose their own lives above yours. Selfishness is the nature of menโ but nature can be changed, if one loves another enough to do so. But did they change that innate, selfish part of themselves for you? Did they strain every fiber of their being to shield you from me? I think not. I think they fled at the first hint of danger, and now you are here with me. Is that not exactly what happened, in truth?โ
Too many questions. Too many questions.ย
An unrelenting torrent of information coursed directly into your mind, each fragment pushing insistently for attention. You had grown accustomed to his voiceโ had come to accept its intrusion without the need for spoken words. Yet, just as it did in your first meeting, it began to reverberate within you, echoing with an almost unbearable insistence, and in an instant, all of your composure shattered.
A tear slid down your cheek before you even knew it.ย
You jerked at a soft brush against your skinโ tiny hands, delicate wings. A faerie hovered near, carefully wiping the tear away. The gesture, meant as comfort, only burned deeper. They were watching. All of them. Your humiliation laid bare before a court of silent eyes.
You stiffened, curling your fingers so the little creature had no choice but to rest on your palm. You forced yourself to meet the dragonโs eyes again, calmer this time, though the tear track on your face betrayed you.ย
โโฆWe will agree to disagree.โ You said, and your voice almost held.
He regarded you for a long, unreadable moment before inclining his head.ย
โAs you wish.โ
Your attention was already turned back to the faerie in your palm, who had now taken to toying with your fingers. It tugged gently at your fingertip, tiny hands pulling your attention down to where it played. You let it, stroking its gossamer wings with a trembling thumbโฆ though your thoughts were far from present.ย
Every word youโd thrown in anger replayed in your head, harsher with each remembrance, until you almost wished you could snatch them back. It wasโฆ incredibly embarrassing knowing that this faerie, along with all its companions, had to witness you in such a state. So letting the little one inspect your finger, tolerating the surprising and odd strength of its vigour, was your way of apologising to itโ for making it get caught in your outburst.
โYou will not speak of them again.โ
Your head jerked up, startled. โWhat?โ
โI do not want to hear their mention on your tongue. Not once more.โ
The words landed like an unavoidable commandโ the ones that are final and absolute. You stared, mouth parting, some protest fumbling to riseโ Why? Why canโt you? He canโt tell you to do thatโ But nothing left your lips.
โButโฆ why?โ Your voice cracked.โWhy canโt Iโโ
โBecause you must not.โ His interruption was firm, and he offered no explanation beyond thatโ only expectation.
And suddenly, you felt it againโ that cornered, breathless shame, as though your refusal alone made you childish, and as heโd said; unreasonable. You shook your head, cradling the faerie closer as if it may bring you comfort.
โโฆI hope youโre not trying to make me forget them. You canโt expect me to.โ
โThat is not what I ask of you. I merely ask for your obedience in what I command. Hmโฆ How should I explain this?โย
The dragon mused to himself. It only served to make you feel even more of a dimwitโ something you knew he must have intended.
โLook around you, Child of Manโโ His words eventually fell with an even tone. โThe trees that crown this valley, the skies stretched above them, the very grass beneath your feet. The faerie that perches in your palm, and the ones who hide among the leaves. Do you not see how they bend to my will?โ
He looked to the riverโ and though he did not tell you to goโฆ that is what you did. So you stood there, where the current caught the light in a resplendent show of glittered little dottings.
โLook there. Look at your reflection. I wonder, do you see it? That, too, is mine. The face you wear is not your own. The hand that holds the faerie is not your own. You breathe because I allow it. You live because I keep you. Every part of you has been claimed. Now do you see why you must listen to me?โ
(And just like that, any affection youโd gained for him throughout the weeks seemed to vanish in all but an instant.)
As if you had fallen into an enchantment to forget the chains beneath the flowers, it was clear that youโd forgotten your placeโ grown much too comfortable, much too bold. But the dragon did not need to reprimand you for that. You did that just fine on your own. For you understood, then, the purpose of his words; not to reason with you, but to leave you cornered with nothing to stand on. To remind you that you were in no position to deny him, that disobedience itself was made absurd when the very earth bent to his command.ย
His stare honed to a point, striking through you as clean and cold as steel. It was clear, now. Unlike the faeries, who accepted you as a guest in their realmโ the dragon did not see you as so. It was all so, very clear. So clear, in fact, that you found yourself finishing his words in your mind before he put them there.
โYou are mine to keep. Body, voice, and mind. And I shall eliminate anything to preserve what belongs to me. So, I will say it again; I do not want to hear of these boysโ not even once."
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ wonder about your captor, youโd have to wonder if he knew exactly what he was doing. Too quickly, too cruelly, he had reminded you of your realityโ while robbing you of the one thing that could have kept you sane; the freedom to speak. Now, what had once consoled your captivity was the belief that you could tell the dragon anything. A foolish hope, perhaps, but it softened the edgesโ that if all else was lost, at least you had someone to confide in. Someone to keep your memories alive, to let your thoughts spill into air instead of festering and wasting away inside you. But what you had failed to truly digest thenโฆ was that this โsomeoneโ was the very being who had caged you here in the first place.
You never felt the need to go outside after thatโ and so, you never did. You never felt the need to talk to your captor, eitherโ and so, you never did. (Unless he demanded itโ which was something you used to find almost endearingโฆ However, now it only makes you feel sick.) There was a fleeting thought that he would become irritated at your silenceโ but surprisingly (and if you cared to wonder, youโd wonder if you should be offended) he didnโt seem to notice. Or if he did notice, he didnโt mind it.
Yet even above the grief of settling into this quick, cruel realityโฆ something else ran deeper still; offense on behalf of your friendsโ Ace and Deuce. To be trapped with a creature who, magnificent in his malignity, mocked to death the two boys you loved most in the world made a black, sticky hatred curdle inside your heart. So you sank into the carpet most days, refusing even to glance at himโ because to look at him meant remembering, and remembering meant rage.
But for all your hatred, you were obedient. And so your captor, with a twisted tenderness, gave you one small allowance; to walk the corridors alone. It was meant as mercy, you supposedโ though the stone passages did not feel merciful. And you could not enjoy the secrets within the walls eitherโฆ for what purpose would it have served, if it was not in the company of the boys who were the ones truly interested in the first place? Still, you wandered those corridors, if only to keep your flesh from melting into the carpet.
It was during one of these meanderings that you saw them.
At first, you thought the castle was playing tricks on you, as everything else in this strange, new world did. Too many days in silence, too many nights curled in on yourself, and now your mind conjured what your heart ached for most. Two figures stood at the far end of the hall, blurred and trembling in the torchlight, as though stitched from memory itself. You rubbed at your eyes and blinked hard, then you looked againโ expecting the mirage to vanish. It couldn't have been them. You had thought you heard their laughter before too, had felt their hands brush yours in dreams. You had woken to the echo of voices that werenโt there. This was no different. It had to be no different.
โฆBut this timeโ not like the other timesโ they didnโt vanish.
Instead, they moved. And not like tricks of the eye, either. One careless and quick, the other desperate and wild. Aceโs sprint, Deuceโs chargeโ exactly as you remembered. And when they shouted your name, the sound split the silence so violently that your heart nearly stopped. No dream could shout like that. No vision could breathe your name so raggedlyโ breathe life into you.
โWhat are you doing hereโ?โย
But before you could finish your own sentence, you were already rushing to meet them. For a moment you were terrified your arms would pass through empty airโ until they didnโt. You were able to take both boys into your arms. And you kissed themโ right at the corner of their mouths as you always used to do. Right as youโd always dreamt of doing. And soon that kiss turned into multiple, and you werenโt sure where you were peppering them anymoreโ only that it was all over both of their faces as you squished their cheeks together.
โWe came back for you, of course. Fuckโฆ I didnโt think youโd be aliveโฆโ Ace breathed in between your flurry of affections, wrapping a single arm around your waist. The intimate gesture confirmed to you that this couldn't have been anything but realโ and that was enough for you.ย
So for the first time in months, your soul crawled out of its hiding place.ย
โYou could say it less like an assโฆ!โ Deuce choked, glaring at his companion as he, too, cradled his arm across your back. โWeโre so sorry, (Y/N), we thought bringing you here wouldnโt have been a big dealโ we just wanted to let you go out and experience something with us for onceโฆ If weโd known that thing was here weโd never even have thought of letting you comeโ let alone have left you by yourself. I couldโve sworn I was holding your hand as we ran butโฆโ His words came forward all at once and you could tell they must have been waiting to be let free for a long, long while. His shoulders slumped, and he looked nothing short of dejected. Then his hands moved to cup both sides of your face, pressing his forehead to yours. โIโm sorry. That was my fault.โ
But you didnโt care for any of their apologies. All you were glad for was that they were hereโ that they were really hereโฆ and more importantly, that they were here for you. Every mean-spirited word from your captor, every implication of doubt he tried to force onto youโ it all abated. Now, you were reminded just how much you loved these twoโ and how much they loved you in return.ย
He was wrongโ your captor; he was wrong. They love you. You love them. Nothing could change that.
You shook your head in dismissal, an overjoyed smile plastered on your face. Soon you were nuzzling your face into their necks, pushing yourself into them with such force they nearly lost their footing. Deuce was stroking the back of your headโ you knew his hand by heart, so even though you couldnโt see, you knew it was him. And you knew it was Aceโs hand trailing from your waist to the small of your backโ then down to your hips in a comforting gesture.
But the reality you had been forced to swallowโฆ came rushing back as quickly as it fell away.
โI love you. And thereโs so many things I wish I could tell you but you need to goโฆ now! Before he finds youโ!โ You ushered, face contorted with worry. You pressed your hands against their chests, urging them back.
Ace didnโt seem deterred by your warnings. In fact, it only seemed to strengthen his resolve. He caught your arm and held it firmly. โYeah, I donโt doubt you on that.โ He said quickly. โAll the more reason we have to move. Letโs go, before it DOES find us!โ
โWe wonโt leave until weโre sure youโre with us.โ Deuce assured, taking your other arm into his. โYou have to trust us, okay? Just listen to what we say and weโll explain everything after.โ
Your feet dragged a little, the way a child drags when they donโt want to goโ but your boys were strong and it did not slow them. They carried you along those long corridors you had never walked alone, past doors you had not dared to open, under arches where the lamps burned low. And then you looked at them proper and saw how their faces had gone solemn. You had never seen them like that before.
Outside waited for you like a basin of cold water. The air hit your chest and the night was wide. And with the night came the sound. Steel on steel like many bells. Men shouting and calling to one another. And above all of it a great roaring, the kind that shakes a rib. You knew that sound without seeing it. Your captor, the dragon.
Your head went light, full of the noise. โWhatโs going on?โ You asked. โWhatโs going on? Whatโs going onโ?โ You asked again, because the answers did not come.
Now your boys looked troubled. They did not answer, only tightened their hold and pulled you from the noise. The clash of men and the roar of your captor slipped further, further, muffled as if under water. Your heart beat wild against their silence. Still they would not explain. Still they drew you onโ and the forest opened to swallow you whole.
The trees grew thick and dark about you, branches low, shrubs scratching at your shift, and you had to keep close to them or else be lost. This wasnโt like the clearings your captor had carried you to, no meadows, no open sky. Only dark, and the hush of leaves, and the three of you moving quick through a new side of the world you were forced to acceptโ the one you were finally being taken away from.
Aceโs mouth was tense, set like stone. Deuce kept looking back, eyes shining too much, like he might cry if you asked him. And you did ask. Whispered, quick, before your courage left youโ โTell me whatโs going on.โ
Neither answered at first. They pulled you on, gaining quite a bit of distance until the noise was all gone. At last Deuce spoke, voice low, heavy;
โWe sent those men to die.โ
It caught you off guard entirely. You didnโt understand it much at allโ but you did see the sorrow in him. You did see the guilt under Aceโs scowl. And in that moment you knew; Whatever fight had been raised behind youโ for youโฆ it wasnโt one to winโ wasnโt one that could ever be won.
An execution.
Your eyes blurred. The steps went on, but you couldnโt stop the tears, sliding hot down your face. โIโm sorry.โ You sobbed. โFuckโฆ Iโm so sorryโโ
Aceโs grip softened then, his fingers threading through yours, squeezing warm and steady. โDonโt. None of this is on you. If you were a burden, we wouldnโt have even come. All of this is worth it. Donโt cry now.โ
Deuce leaned in close on your other side, pressing a kiss to your temple without the slightest bit of hesitation. โYou hear him? Nothingโs your fault. Just keep walking. Weโre never letting you leave us again.โ
And so you cried between them, their hands sure, their words a shield, their closeness like shelter in the dark. And to be in their presence again was of the utmost reassurance. So for a little while, you let yourself believe what they were telling you; None of this was your fault. Youโll be with your boys forevermore, and that is all that could ever be.
Your boys, forevermore.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ to an end. That was what the old woman of the bookshop told you once, her voice quiet as she stacked the shelves, her back bent, her eyes lost far past what she was looking at. You had respected her words, for she carried a wisdom you never doubted, but you did not know what to make of them. At the time you thoughtโ perhaps one day their meaning would come clear, and perhaps then you would understand. And so you put them away with the rest of the things that elder folk often said, the riddles and warnings, laid deep in the mind and left to rest. And that is where they stayed.
But you knew now. The time had come, it seemed, to understand what she meant. You understood because the sky parted with a roar, and the forest shuddered and bowed to himโ as all the other things in this world did. Wings beat overhead, blacking the stars, and the air rushed cold against your face, past the shrubbery which was meant to be your coverโ and down onto you. Your captor had come. Your captor had come for you. So now, you understood.ย
As abruptly as it started, the good timesโฆ had now come to an end.ย
The time of execution had come. Now, it was only a matter of who would be the executed. But you werenโt afforded the luxury of grief. Ace caught your wrist, Deuce pressed a hand to your back; both urging you down into the cover of particularly dense bushes.ย
โStay low.โ Ace hissed. โKeep to the trees. He canโt fit in here.โ
โRun.โ Deuce urged, eyes too bright in the dark. โDonโt look back. No matter what you hear.โ
And in that moment you understood what they meant to do for you. The memory of that first day returnedโ their flight, their fearโ but tonight they did not run. So you kissed them, and they kissed back. Quick, desperate, a blessing and a promise all at once. Your lips to Aceโs, your lips to Deuceโs. It was something you wished you could take your time with, but no such thing was given. Tonight, you were the one running.ย
You ran with the thicket tearing holes into your shift and wounds into your skin. Sharp branches and brambles opened streaks of blood across your arms and legs. Each inhale burned in your lungs; each heartbeat pounded like a drum in your temples. Behind you came the sound of battleโ the crash of trees, the shatter of branches, the cry of your captor, the cries of your boys. Your strength wavered, hot pain and fatigue coiling through your limbs, yet still you ran, and you never looked back.
โฆBut under all the weightโ your fragile soul, which had only now gained freedom, finally split apart.ย
So, though you had fought it, darkness had taken you for a while. Blood and screaming and execution put you under, and it laid heavy on you till it let you go. You did not know how long you were out, but you knew it couldnโt have been for much timeโ for the forest looked no different than when you left it momentarily. But when you regained all senses, it wasnโt to your boys calling you, nor to safety waitingโย
It was to arms pulling you up into a chest.ย
A body was there to hold you up. But when you turnedโ no face was given to you. Your eyes went searching, but nothing would settle there. The shape of a man was made, yet the head was not made for seeing. Something blurred, something refused. Mind reaching, mind slipping. Your breath quickened, your chest rose hard. โฆWho was this? Why couldnโt you see his face? It was as if everything in the world came together to stop you from seeing the man in front of your eyes.
โHad I known what a sight you make from this close, I would have taken this form sooner and never let my eyes off you.โ
The voice that reached you now was nothing like before. No iron in the brain, no thought forced beneath your skin. This one came pressed from lungs, shaped by a throat. A sound in the air, a sound the world could hear. That was what made it worse. For all its human weight, for all its mortal sound, you knew it was the same. The words came walking to you dressed in flesh. Your ears took them in, but your mind rejected them, staggering back from what it knew and what it could not bear to know. It was a voice with breath nowโ real breath, living breathโ when it should never have been so.
Your captor, the dragon, the executioner; had taken the form of a man.ย
And this man touched you in ways you never thought you would be touched. His hands gathered your shift as if he meant to wring it dry, bunching it slow, slow, hiking it higher up your thighs till the night air kissed what should have stayed covered. His palm slid over the dip of your waist, the soft hollow under your ribs, the valley of your chest, pressing as if to mold the shape into his own keeping. There was no shame in himโ only the same hunger you had felt in his eyes when he watched you before, when his stare alone had set ghost-hands on your hips. Now those hands were real, and they traveled bold as any thief, claiming, groping, learning you as though proving you were his to unmake.
You looked down and saw the truth of his hands at last; claws dragging blood across you, smearing red into the white of your clothes. Not your blood. Not his.
Your boys. Your boys, your boys, your boysโ
That thought alone was enough to bring the world rushing back. You shoved at him, desperate, and slipped free of his armsโ and of his lips against your nape. You fell hard onto your stomach, then hastily flipped yourself over, scrambling backwards on hands and heels, dragging your body away from the monster who looked like a man without a face.
Roots clutched at your clothes, stones pressed themselves into your palms, until your hand slid across something sharper still. You hissed, pulling back instinctivelyโ only to see blood beading on your fingertips. And there, half-buried in the dirt, was the knife. Your knife. Torn loose from your girdle at some point in time, now waiting as though it had been set there for you to find.
The opportunity was not lost to you. So with a shuddering breath, your fingers closed around the knife. And before you could think, you movedโ heaving yourself up from the ground in a wild lunge. You drove it into him with all the strength you had, the blade sinking through his flesh with a sickening resistance before it slid deeper. And you twistedโ savagelyโ dragging the steel down.ย
You felt it tear a jagged path through muscle, felt the tremor of his ribs beneath the force of your strike, hot gushes of blood spurting over your hand, your wrist, your sleeve. For one frantic heartbeat, hope flaredโ surely, this was not a wound any living human should bearโฆ But he only looked down at the ruin of his own chest with something almost like mirth, lips curving into a weary smile; a smile without a face.
Leisurely, he wrapped his hand around the knifeโs hilt and pulled it free, the steel singing as it grated against torn bone, opening the wound wider so that blood spilled in torrents. He held the blade up between you, crimson dripping steadily. (It was a horrifying sight; the flesh of his chest flayed open, and yet he smiled at you.)
โLittle one,โ he murmured, โdid you think iron could part me from you? An army? Come, now. I expected better from you.โ
His hand caught your chin, forcing your lips apart. Then the knifeโ your knife, your wonderful knife given to you by your beloved Aceโ was pressed into your mouth.ย
Its edge carved messily against your tongue as he shoved it deeper, slicing its way past soft flesh, filling your throat with fire and iron. The taste was unbearable, metallic, salt-thick, a mingling of his blood and yours. You gagged, choking on the bubbling liquid as the blade cut its way down your gullet, warm rivulets running back up and over your lips, staining you in a mixture that was both him and you.
โGood.โ He breathed, eyes without a face fixed on the convulsions of your body. โEven your rebellion leaves you stretched open, swallowing me whole. Youโll never be empty of me again.โย
Inch by inch, he dragged the blade back out, its edge rasping cruelly against torn muscle, leaving your mouth spilling blood instead of soundโ your scream mangled, trapped forever in the ruins of your throat. You clutched at your neck with shaking hands, nails raking desperate fissures into your own skin as if you could claw the agony free, but it only spread like fire through every nerve, leaving your limbs trembling, your body buckling beneath the weight of it.
Your vision swam red, not just from the blood in your eyes but from the sheer, consuming hatred that clawed at your chest. You did not know if he was still smiling, for whatever sense you had was lost in the haze of your fury. Fury to him. Fury for your boys. Fury for everything he had taken from you and everything he was still tearing apart. You wanted to fight, to sink your nails into his skin, to scream until your throat shredded furtherโ but the pain pinned you down, a white-hot spike through every vein.ย
(It hurtsโit hurtsโit HURTSโ)ย
Instinct drove you to move, to escape. You clawed at the ground, dragged yourself forward, every twitch of muscle sparking agony through your ruined body. (You had to get away. You had toโ) But before you could even crawl more than an inch, his hand clamped around your ankle. The strength in it was effortless, dragging you back into the shadow you hated more than death itself.
Crouching low, his shadow blocked out what little light you had left. Your legs kicked weakly, uselessly, until his hand caught at your thigh and tore downward. The delicate stockings you had cherishedโ once white, once untouched, once yoursโ ripped apart in his fist. The once pristine white, now soaked through with blood, clung wetly before peeling awayโ the ruin of it a mockery of everything that had been clean, everything that had been yours alone. A desecration of all things innocent.
โWhere are you going?โ He asked softly, as if you were a child caught in some silly mischief. The faceless smile reappeared to you as he leaned closer, voice curling into your ear. โI intend to fill you with much more than just blood, you seeโฆ So donโt go anywhere.โ
โNoโ!โย
The word should not have existed. The very utterance of it should have been impossibleโ for just a moment ago, you know he pushed the knife into your mouth. Had your tongue shredded against steelโ and you know the taste of nothing but iron and fire. You should not have been able to speak, and yet here you wereโ screaming, protestingโฆ as though you had never been torn apart at all.
Your mind reeled, grasping for what was realโ What was realโ? You swore the memory was clear; of him split open from collarbone to navel, of the blood pouring in the torrents, of the sight of his chest flayed rawโ โฆWas that real? What was realโ? Here he crouched, looming over youโ whole, unbroken, skin unmarked save for the grin that stretched widely across his lips. Nothing made sense. Nothing held. Pain drifted, sharp and sure, yet the evidence of it dissolved in front of your eyes.
Now he was crawling over you. The ground took your spine, and his limbs closed in, claws biting earth on either side of your head till you lay inside the prison of him. Now you could see that he was bare of any clothesโ his body sculpted and naked like the statues meant to represent gods. But there was no beauty in this bareness, in the art of the pure human body; because this man could hardly be considered a man at all.
His mouth came onto yours, but this was no kiss. This was not a kiss at all. Kisses were supposed to be sweet, or passionate, or tender. A kiss was supposed to carry laughter and sorrow and every vulnerability hanging upon the lips, love spilling easy and steady out into your beloved. That was a kissโ you already knew about kisses. Your boys had taught you that muchโ shown you it, let you experience it. But this? What was being done to you? This was no kiss.
This was a brand, hot and heavy, but not in the way that made the world seem brighter and made life feel good. You wonder, was the world always so dull? Was it only your boys that filled your life with light, or did this monster just sap everything out naturally? Now everything seemed lifeless to you. Were the trees always dead?ย
โฆAnd were these thorns always here?ย
Now there were thorns wrapping around you. Barbed vines crawling, twisting, finding every soft place to bite. Thorns in your arms, in your legs, in the thin skin over your ribs. His claws too, cutting and wandering, so that you couldnโt tell where the plant ended and the man began. The air stung, the earth swayed. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt. The thorns kissed and tore. He kissed and tore. His claws pressed and opened. Everything was red and black and moving. You felt his eyes on you as much as you could see them, and you felt them deeper than the wounds on your body. You wanted to close your own, but you couldnโt. You wanted to run, but there was nowhere left to run.
And through all of it, the questions fell away, one by one, until only one remained.ย
What have you done to deserve this?
A gasp tore free at last from you, sharp on the lungs and wet upon your lips, for it came blood. It bubbled up your throat and spilled from your mouth in a thin red stream, slipping past and staining your chin. You choked on the taste of iron, gagging, coughing, spattering yourself.
And heโ he bent to it as though you were a chalice poured for him alone. His mouth found the spill, tongue dragging up the line of your jaw, greedy as a beast lapping from the ground. He licked you clean as though none of it belonged to you at all. Then his lips pressed hard to yours once more. But this time the action managed to be even worse, and you hoped you would die before he did what he wanted to do; His tongue forcing its way past your teeth, sweeping the blood from the inside of your mouth, your cheeks, savouring it with a deep groan.ย
But no matter how erotic and obscene he sounded, it would never make it a loverโs touch. He drank your pain but it was for himselfโ not in the selfless way a lover would.
โAhโฆโ His head lolled backward, and he licked his lips clean of any remaining fluid. โWhen I realised you were gone, I was going to find you and kill you. I would have kept your corpse aroundโฆ but I think Iโve found a much better purpose for you. You shall be my mate. Would you like that?โย
Anything but that. Anything but this.ย
Your head jerked side to side before the thought could stick, before the sentence could even take shape in your conscious thoughts.ย
Not that. Not this. Not him. Not ever.ย
The thorns knew what you wanted before you did, and they didnโt like it. They tightened at your throat, coiling and biting deeper, drawing a wet heat up into your collar, pressing, constricting, silencing. More gagging, more choking, more sobbing. Spit and blood and the hurt of it. Tears spilling hot. All you knew was that you were shaking your head no, and that you couldnโt muster a single word.
โPlease, just let me dieโ.
The thorns were angry at you for that. They hated you. They hurt you because they hated you. But he didnโt hate you. The sick glint in his eye said so. He smiled at youโ right at you, only at youโ and that made your wish all the more apparent. You wanted to die. His finger pressed to your lips, shushing you so sweetly, so softly, consoling you as one would with a child. You wanted to die then, too. Then the finger left your mouth, a claw snagging at your lower lip and leaving blood behind. He hurt you because he wanted you. That made you yearn for death. And then there was the way he held your head and kissed your temple in kindnessโ but it was no favour.ย
โYou donโt want to be my mate?โ He frowned, and tilted his head in that familiar way. Now he was back to your cheek, holding your face gently. โWhy?โ
โฆWhy? Why? Your mind grew all fuzzy with anger and confusion. Why? Finally, your voice returned. A strangled cry left you, ragged and raw, spilling out in a sound that was no longer despairโ rather the unbridled rage that had simmered just beneath the hopelessness. Why? The vines constricted your arm, but you didnโt care anymoreโ you didnโt care for pain, or even in this moment; death. You jerked your limb upward with all the force you could muster. The thorns ripped through your flesh, tearing open your skin in long, jagged strips. Muscle knotted and pulsed beneath the exposed wounds, sinew stretched and glimmered wet with blood.ย
Every nerve sang agony, every heartbeat roared, but still you tore freeโ and your hand struck for all your anger. Why? Your nail plunged into his eye, and it gave way beneath the pressure with a wet squelchโ a horrible sound that made your stomach twist in disgust. You gripped, twisted, yanked at him with a feral desperation, and threw him offโ and every muscle trembled but you ran.
โฆBut why? Why were you still on the ground? Why was he here? Didnโt you just throw him off? Didnโt you justโ? Why? Why? Why? Your arms strained, your legs kicked, but nothing moved. The weightโ his weight pressed you flat. His handsโ his impossibly heavy, unyielding hands, a constant to your bodyโ pinned you to the earth. Why? Why? Why? Didnโt you hurt him? Didnโt youโ? And yet, he was whole, above you, pressing you into the soil, bending everything you knew into something you could not understand. Why? Why? Why?
Now his fist was in your hair, yanking your head back harshly until his lips grazed your ear. Then his voice was back to how you always knew it to beโ felt, not heard. And it felt horrible.
โI was going to make our first time sweet, but I think you need some discipline.โ
(All you remember was the feeling of cool air against your bare skin. The feeling of being split apart, of blood running down your thighs, of other fluids filling up your insides. Of bites to your nape, your back, your shoulders. Of begging, pleading the word noโ over and over. And yet through it all, only one thing stands out to you, nowโ)
โLook at me in my face, (Y/N), tell meโฆ do you still think I am magnificent?โ
(โฆThat was the first time you heard him say your name. You couldnโt recall ever giving it to himโ but you couldnโt think of that, then. You couldnโt even think of looking at him. No matter how hard he clawed at your neck, twisting it to force your eyes upon himโ you couldnโt. No matter how roughly he made โloveโ to youโ you couldnโt. Instead, you closed yourself shut and let yourself drift off to what you could only hope was a land of no return. But even as you had shunned all the sights of the cruel world you would never escapeโฆ all you would see were the lifeless eyes of your boys forevermore; And that was all you could think ofโ)
(Your boys, nevermore.)
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ you was a constant nightmare. Normally, rest was solace; a moment of respite from the every dayโ but what happened to you was far from what was normal. What happened to you was so traumatic that your mind was unable to do anything but relive itโ even in sleep, which so often provided you peace. Ironically, when you opened your eyes and sank yourself back into the living nightmare, it was all much calmer than what you saw behind closed eyelidsโ and what youโd experienced before that.
You shot up from your position, atop your ragged carpet strewn. (The uneven surface is just as uncomfortable as it has been all these days, but at the very least it is something that is yours. The same could not be said for your body.) The first thing you noticed about yourself was how ordinary you felt. Your body wasโฆ fine. Unexplainably so. It was strange. How present the sensation of thorns did feel upon your skinโ just as they did before, but there were no marks to show for it. You traced your clavicle lightly with the tips of your fingers to confirm, and indeed all that was met was smooth, untouched skin. You are fine. Your skin was unblemished, free from the physical scars you were so sure he would leave.ย
A soft exhale escaped you, and your eyes drifted around the room. It looked the same, just as it always did. All towering arches and gilded patterns carved into dark stone, the faint flicker of candles casting shadows onto everything but what you actually wanted to see. You didnโt dwell on the sightโ what would be the point in that? You already knew this place by heart.
And then your gaze found him.
Malleus.ย
So this was how the dragon was named. And this was what he truly looked like.ย
He sat atop a pile of gold, still as a statue, and like a living portrait; something too perfectly framed to be real. Regal, and utterly otherworldly. Dragon horns curled back from his head, wicked in their shape but elegant in design. His green eyes gleamed, brilliant and luminous in the dim, and there was an old cruelty hidden behind them. His face was as pale as it was beautifulโ feminine in its elegance, masculine in its structure. Heโd be perfectly handsome by any societyโs standards.
What was most curious was the garments he adorned. Faintly, at the back of your mind, you recalled him assuring you that he was well aware of royaltyโs embellishments. Now, you understood whyโ for the clothes he wore currently would be fit only upon the body of a king. They were not clothes typical of any fashion youโd associate with modern times, but that didnโt negate the fact it was gorgeous. Midnight velvet clung to him in sweeping folds, parted at the chest to reveal the pale expanse beneath. Silver wrapped around the base of his horns, casting a faint gleam over their black surfacesโ framing a single emerald set into the metal like a crown jewel. But nothing commanded your attention so wholly as the shoulder guardsโ carved from gleaming metal, curved like the wings of the beast he once was.
You wouldnโt be surprised if he were a king, himself.ย
You, by contrast, wore only a shift. Even your lucky stockings were gone. But like the body it clung to, this shift did not belong to youโ for it was much too clean to be so. You were sure your old one, the one that was yours, had been ruinedโ stained with blood and whatever fluid that had passed between you and the man before you. (You think the same could be said for your own being, as well).
Your hand slipped from your neck and came to rest in your lap. You found yourself unable to look away from him, and in the silence of his gaze, fixed so intently upon youโฆ all you could see were the things he had done. Yet for all the terror, disgust, resentment and humiliationโ your expression remained empty. As long as you held his wordless stare, those ugly emotions became mutedโ just as the cusp of bubbling over, but ultimately unable to as you wish they could.
โYou askedโฆ if I still thought you were magnificent.โ You began, and if you werenโt feeling the way you felt, you would have been surprised at the flatness in your voice. You looked him over once more, taking in the sight of him in full. You didnโt see him properly while heโฆ
โI didnโt answer you then. But I have my answer now.โย
Malleusโ eyes narrowed, a sight youโve long since been acquainted withโ if only in the form of a great dragon. But no longer did you feel anything by it, not even with his new appearance. What should have made you sink back into the carpet instead made you rise. And you approached himโ not with the caution you should have exercised, but with a sense of tranquility that could only come from one whoโd already accepted their fate.ย
For a moment, you remembered the song that forced your involvement with this man. And suddenly, the irony of it all became much more apparent. You approached himโฆ as a queen approaches the executionerโs block. ย
It was a cruel joke just waiting to deliver its even crueler punchline.
โI think you are horrible. The very sight of you makes me sick to my stomach.โ
Malleus rose slowly. You had braced yourself for a snarl, perhaps even a threatโ but none came. Instead, his ashen lips curved into something resembling a smile, and he drew himself closer to you. In moments, he stood mere inches away.
โYou are rather cruel in your words.โ He muttered. In this form, and in the still silence, his voice was no longer one that resounded within your head. It was grounded and real and it came from his throatโ and it was right in front of you, just as he was. โI cannot imagine what Iโve done to deserve such disdain from you.โ
โWhat you have done to me goes beyond cruelty! You are a vile, perverse creature.โย
His hand lifted to your face, a caress too soft for the malice you knew he carriedโ yet still, you did not falter.
โHm? I have no recollection of doing such things to you. I merely presented you the most intimate parts of myself, and loved you to my fullest.โ He responded quite calmly for an accusation that should have enraged the average person. Instead of that, he sounded almost amused.
โStop that. Donโt say that. You always do this, youโre always getting in my headโฆ! Telling me half-truths and giving me an illusion of choiceโ I know what you do to me! I shouldโฆ I should strike you for what youโve done. I should be terrified. My insides should be shredded. My body should be cut. Iโm sure I should be deadโฆ! And I should lash out at you for thatโ But when I look at you, when I look into those eyesโฆโ
Cool palms, careful and deliberate, cradled you nowโ one on either cheek, as though you were something delicate and precious. It was obscene, and surely was audacious on all accounts, but you couldnโt pull away; neither physically nor mentally.
His face was inches from yours now, eyes fixed and unblinking. Everything else seemed to fall away, swallowed whole by the green glow of his gaze. It was all you could seeโ two glaring, unnatural lights, boring into your own.
โWhat is it that you feel?โ His voice was impossibly soft. โLook into my eyesโ do not look away. Tell me, how do you feel?โ
โWhat do I feelโฆ?โ You echoed, as soft as him. โI hate you. Thatโฆ That is what I feel.โ
Now his nose brushed against yours, and you could feel his breath brush against your lips. His eyes eclipsed the world. He eclipsed your world. Everything you were, are, and would be. And without realising it, your body leaned inโ drawn forward, head angled just slightly, as if pulled by the magnetic gravity of his mouth. His gaze flickered to your lips. Yours to his.
โIs that so?โ He smiled, the words nearly a kiss themselves. โDo you truly hate me?โ
Your lips trembled against the air that separated them. โYes.โ You whisperedโ if it could even be called that; for your voice had all but died in your throat. โI hate youโฆโ
โMmhโฆ Do you know what I think?โ Malleus asked, studying your face in between his grip. โI think youโre hiding something from me. Youโre not telling me how you truly feel. How I make you feel. What were you going to say earlier, hm? Tell me, (Y/N), what do you feel when you look into my eyes? You know I do so adore when you start with your spiels. I have missed them, you know.โ There was a pleading look in his eyes, one that was more mocking than genuine.
โโฆI feelโฆ like a shell. But I also feelโฆ like a pot that is about to boil over. Whenโฆ the bubbles are just at the edge of spillingโ then you take it off the heat, and they simmer down. Only to put it back on, and repeat the proccessโฆ Everytime I think about what you did, how you killed them, how you raped me, violated me in front of themโฆ I want to lash out at you but I justโฆโย
Now, your head was starting to feel hazy. You couldnโt say you were entirely aware of what you spokeโ only that, somehow, you meant every word and that Malleus hummed thoughtfully at them. A simple conversation, he made it seem like.
โI wantโฆ I want to hate you. I know I should hate you. Iโฆ I do hate you. I shouldnโt be talking to you like this. But Iโฆ justโโ
โBut you just canโt bring yourself to act on your hatred, is that right? Clever girl. Then let me be honest with you, as youโve been with me. All of this, everything you feel, and everything you cannot feelโฆ is because of me. And it will always be so, and never has been anything else.โ His lips, still curved in a small grin, brushed against your eyelid. It was a soft kiss. Youโd shut your eyes to block him out, but even that small refusal was trespassedโ just as heโd trespassed into your conscience.ย
โBecause of youโฆโย
The voice that came out of you was not a voice that you recognised. Soon, you were leaning into his touch, into his kissesโ peppered all throughout your face. (You swore you didnโt want it. Youโll always swear that. By God, you didnโt want it.) Even more did that confirm your suspicionsโ he was doing something to you. You didnโt know whatโ only that it was something that subdued you. Something that rendered you immobile, standing in the worship of a man made of everything unholy in the world. The man you hated most.
You had so many questions. So, so many. (Why bother with all this? Why was he kissing you so tenderly? Why was he revering you? Why was his touch so loving? Why did it feel worse than any act of hate he couldโve given to you? Did he always intend to do this to you? Just what about you could have been so possibly alluringโ Why you? Why your Ace and Deuce? Your boys?) But every one seemed to die on your tongue before you could get it out. You stood there in silence, letting him practically drape himself onto you.
โYour friends are dead.โย
Heโd said it after a moment of silence. So plainly, so without warningโฆ that for a moment you thought youโd misheard him.ย
โI devoured that foolish army in its entirety.โ He went on, almost idly in thought as he continued with his affections. โBut those boysโฆ I reserved them. I placed them at the fore, impaled them upon stakes myself. A fitting display.โ
โฆSomething within you surgedโ the pot just about to boil over. For a single second, the heat stayed on. And in that second, you shoved him away, staggering back so hard you nearly lost your footing.
โWhat are you talking about? What are you talking aboutโ? Tell me this is your poor attempt at a jokeโ!โ
But there was no reply. No correction. No cruel smile to betray a lie. If anything, the man only seemed confused at your sudden parting from him. You staggered back another step as if it would distance you from the images forming in your mindโ
Ace, mouth open in a scream that never finished, lips split down the center by a sharpened stake. Deuce, crumpled around the spike like a rag doll, impaled clean through the gut. Their skin waxen and bloodless, eyes wide and dry in the sun. Or worseโ already picked out by birds, the sockets hollow and oozing, tongues black with rot, flies and maggots and every parasite of the world nesting, wriggling in their throats.
You stared down at your hands.
Would you even recognise them, if you touched their faces now? Would you be able to kiss them tenderly as you always didโ or would their jaws fall slack at your contact, flesh sloughing off like overripe fruit, teeth slick with decay clattering to the mud?
A sharp breath hitched in your throat. The pot boiled overโ only to be yanked from the fire again. And in that space, something else returned. Your pain.
You remembered the feeling of thorns burrowing into your bodyโ how easily theyโd split your skin, tracing lines down your arms, your thighs, your ribs. Slicing through muscle, tearing through cloth, and everything else that belonged to you. But when you looked now, there was no mark. No sign that youโd ever bled. He had done thatโ the destruction and the mending. With a flick of his wrist, no less, or perhaps not even that.
โSurely, if you healed me completely when I was in such a stateโฆ You could bring them back? And let them go far from here, never to bother youโโ You paused as you rethought your phrasing. Every word was a dance upon jagged glass. โโฆNever to botherโ usโฆ again.โ
Malleusโ face contorted into an expression of what you could only describe to be pure, unfiltered disgust. As if the very proposal of showing your loved ones mercy were an insult to his very being. It was apparent, he wasnโt going to entertain the ideaโ not in the slightest.
Terror, disgust, resentment and humiliation. Of all those emotions within youโ desperation was what surged through. You stumbled forward, right into the arms of the man you hated most, bunching the fabric of his clothing in your trembling fists. And you looked up at him with shaky eyes so pleading, with tears gracing just at the cusp of your lashlineโ if you could feel anything other than mania, you would feel ashamed of yourself.
โWe have spent so much time together. You have listened to everything I have said about themโ you know how much I care for them, how much I cherish themโฆ and you take them away from me? Was taking me away from them not enough? Why must they suffer forโโ
One moment, the words were still scattering from your lips. The next, they were strangled mid-sentence, caught in your throat as sobs often are.ย
His fingers wrapped tight around your jawโ his palm flat across your windpipe, not quite crushing, not quite letting you breathe. You were silenced. He was silencing you. And soon after your silence did his grip on your throat loosenโ though not in mercy, but in transition. Fingers that had crushed the words from your windpipe slid higher, curling beneath your jaw, then sweeping up the sides of your face. His palm held your cheek while his thumb and forefinger pressed inโ firm and deliberateโ squishing your cheeks until your lips jutted out in a helpless, involuntary pout.
"I recall telling you that I would kill for anything that belonged to me. I also recall saying that I never wanted to hear of them again. I do not understand why you are so confusedโฆ Was their deaths not the only plausible outcome from your foolishness?โ His brows furrowed. โYou know I am positively enraptured by your way of thinking, but I must caution youโฆ this subject wearies me, (Y/N). For now, I merely wish to dote on my mate. Is that so horrible?โ
You couldnโt believe what he was telling you. You wish you were too rattled to understand what he was sayingโ for that would have been a much more merciful fate. But you were painfully aware of the point he madeโ and of the blatant, twisted barbarity of it.
Malleus tilted his head in the way he frequently did as a beast. His eyes were half-lidded, almost curious as he stared down at the shape he'd made of your mouth. Then, with a ghost of a smile, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the center of your puckered lipsโ so soft, so chaste it may have very well been mistaken for tenderness, had it not been him.
The kiss broke, but he didnโt move far. Instead, his fingers uncurled from your face only to slip around the back of your neckโ and in the same breath, he pulled you back in. His mouth found yours again, no longer light nor gentle. His right arm remained firm around your back, caging you against his chest as his left hand held your nape fast, keeping you exactly where he wanted.
โMmfhโ!โย
Your mind only caught up to your body once the bastardโs mouth was already on yours againโ hot and consuming and relentless. You gasped into that kiss, and that alone seemed to urge him on, as though the sound was something heโd been starving to hear. But then your hands, shaking but certain, found his chest. You pushed.
At first, he didnโt budge. Then, slowly, the pressure of your palms seemed to guide his mouth lower, until open-mouthed kisses scattered down your cheek, your jawโ no less fervent, but less precise.ย
You thought that might buy you a moment, but it didn't. His right arm crushed tighter around you, locking your spine to his chest with such force it emptied the air from your lungs. His left hand at your neck kept you fast in place. Your head tipped backwardsโ and in that second, your fingers shot up.
You found them; the smooth curve of his horns.
You grabbed hold and tugged it as tightly as you could. He hissedโ and it was a rather inhuman sound. Sharp and serpentine-like, and forced through bared teeth. Such a noise paired with the utter rage painted across his features took you back to the moment youโd first met himโ a jolt of primal fear passed through you. This was the first time youโd ever seen him like this.
And in that singular moment as you found yourself paralysed in fearโ in that singular momentโฆ that was when he struck.
In one swift, brutal motion, his grip vanished from your neckโ only to reappear elsewhere. Your body was yanked from the cradle of his chest and thrown down hard. The air punched from your lungs when you landed on your stomach. Your arms had scrambled to brace the fall, but they barely slowed it, and now your palms stung harshly.
โโฆYou beg for your idiot friends, yet youโve not once mentioned the countless lives they threw away in the process of โsaving youโ.โย
He spat the last phrase as if it were poison to his very tongue.ย
โAre you so selfish a person? Do you not cherish the other men of the army who came to save you? I seeโฆ So, you only cherish those boys? Then, listen to me well.โ
You were on the ground. You didnโt want to get up from there and you didnโt want to look at him. But you felt his footsteps stop right near your legs, and even without lookingโฆ you knew he must be looming over you right now. Your tears had begun to fall.
(And when he spoke, he killed you with wordsโ)
โYou would do me wrong, my love, to cast me off so discourteouslyโ for now, I am all that you have. Those boys are dead, and I will never bring them back no matter how much of your pleas I must endure. Do you understand me? They will rot upon those stakes as long as I live to see it through. Thereforeโฆโ
(โyour execution, your death.)
โYou will either cherish me, or cherish nothing at all.โ
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ and itโs a lazy sort of day. The sort of day which slows time to a crawl. Still, the street is far from empty. Carriages rattle by, and the scent of bread and ash drifts from a nearby bakerโs stall. The tavern behind them groans under its usual weightโ creaking doors, clinking tankards, the low roar of patrons arguing over dice games and spilled drinks. Its crooked sign swings above the entrance, the painted name faded, almost illegible, from too many summers.ย
A brother and sister have gathered just outside, sitting on the step where a young bard once perched with a serene smile and a lyre in her lap, weaving melodies so lovely they made even the loudest drunk hush to listen.
โSheโs not coming back.โ The brother says, arms folded tightly across his chest. โTold you. Sheโs gone.โ
โYou donโt know that!โ The sister pouts, sticking her tongue out with a childish stubbornness. โButโฆ Papa did say she might have run awayโฆโ She deflates at that, puffing her cheeks in thought. Then, just as quickly, her eyes light up again. โOoh! Maybe she ran away with a prince!โ
The boy groans, tossing his head back with exasperation. โShe didnโt run off with a prince. Thatโs dumb.โ
โYouโre dumb!โ
โMaybe she got married?โ A smaller voice pipes up from behind a stack of crates. One of the siblingsโ friends peeks his head out shyly, cheeks round and flushed with the heat of the day. โWhen you get married, you have babies. Thatโs what happens. Sheโs probably really busyโฆโ
โHmm? How many babies?โ The sister asks, already invested.
The two children fall into thoughtful silence, squinting up at the sky as if the answer might be written among the fluffy clouds. The brother rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath, but he doesnโt walk away.
โMaybe three!โ The friend chirps at last, grinning. โLikeโฆ One for each wish, you know?โ
โTwo boys and one girl.โ The sister adds, beaming. โJust like us! And like the bard and her two friendsโฆ Ooh, do you think I could be a bard one day? Iโll play the lyre just like her!โย
The girlโs eyes sparkle and her friend nods along fondly to her words. Heโs clearly engrossed in her ramblingsโ but the same could not be said for the brother.
โShe left us behind for some other kids? That sucks.โ He mutters, scowling now as he kicks at a loose stone by his feet. โI bet you she only plays for them, now.โ
His words carry a bitter edge, but they donโt fool anyone. Any adult watching would see it for what it wasโ a boy sulking not out of anger, but because he misses the songs of the pretty bard under the awning. The pretty bard whose name could never be remembered, no matter how beloved she was by all. The pretty bard who was only truly understood by the old woman of the bookshop.
Alas; no more bookshops, no more laughter in the smithy or melodies floating out into the street. Just rumours now, of over the hills and far, far away.
Somewhere no man shall ever reach.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ to the lyre. The memory eludes you; the last time youโve played it. But for whatever neglect that has been shown to it on behalf of yourself over the past few years, your daughter certainly makes up for it. She seems positively obsessed with the old thing, grabbing at it with chubby hands that look too much like yours, pestering you to no end to teach her to play. And unfortunately for you, her father is just as fond of pestering you over it as she is. So you sit for hours at a time, with four pairs of the same, carbon copied green eyes (your sons love to do whatever their father and sister are doing) watching you strum strings with a rusted muscle memory.
A faraway part of youโ a fond part that you suppressed a long time goneโ reignites with an assured affection when you see your children stumbling around together. Two daring boys with swords (stolen from their fatherโs hoard, of course) and a shy little girl with her worn lyre. Itโs all too familiar a sight, and really, itโs a miracle that your husband let you name them what you didโ
Ace, Deuce, and (Y/N).ย
Oh, your precious babiesโฆ Theyโre all you have, so you try to make it count. You wonder, is it wrong to project your childhood onto your little ones? To give your daughter your own name, and your sons the name of the boys you yearn for? Ahโฆ maybe it is wrong. (Your husband, for one, never seems to try to hide his discontent for your frequent reminiscing of the life youโll never get back.) But you canโt help it; pestering your boys to treat their sister just a little bit nicerโ because theyโll never know when they may interact for the last time. Youโve yet to tell them the last part, thoughโ theyโre much too young to have their head filled with old musings like that. Such musings belong in bookshops, spoken to young bards by older, lonely women.
Buried deep within the confines of your subconscious, you have a hope that someday you will regain some sense of normalcy. That some day, your husband will bring back what was lost to you. But the present part of you that has long since wilted with an idle content reminds you that the only life he would allow is the life that you both have created. And that is all that will ever be.
Ace, Deuce, and (Y/N).ย
As far as the rest of the world is concerned,ย the three of them are dead. But you know. You know it is not entirely so. The rotting bodies of your boys rejuvenate in the little ones you and your husband call your own. You, as well, live on through the little girl who sits atop her motherโs carpet and her fatherโs gold. You may not rot with your boys upon stakes, but your spirit has long since rotted with them.ย
There are always two deathsโ the real one, and the one people know about. That is how the saying goes, and you couldnโt agree more. Death has rocked you asleep; brought you to quiet rest. So for your first death, youโll give yourself to your husbandโ to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till the second do you part. Youโll let your boys prance around the castle grounds, a little too close to the bodies from which they received their namesakes. And youโll let your daughter live where you couldnโt, and carry on the refrain of your deathโs balladโ
Greensleeves.
โ Farewell โฆ my pleasures past,
Welcome, my present pain!
I feel my torments so increase
That life cannot remain. โ
โ O Death, Rock Me Asleep
thank you for reading, please consider reblogging? <3
my apology letter is literally in the works god bless. i had my friends proof read it too to make sure i sounded guilt teippy enough this is what life is ABOUT
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hi guysโฆ i donโt know how many of you follow me for my fanfic BUT if you do just know that my hiatus is getting extended longer and longer.. </3 exams and quizzes have me crashing out daily SAVE MEEEE