Meow Mrrroww

and then i opened it and cannot stop laughing 

the fuCKING LEGS.

WAIT THERE’S MORE (tumblr won’t let me upload more than 10 pics *sniff* )

Cats Who Are Sick of Taking Selfies

I found a body. It was stuffed into the dumpster next to my apartment and when I saw it I thought about calling in sick to work that morning.

I figured I could call or even email something to the tune of, Sorry guys. I just found a body on my way in to work and I’m feeling kind of messed up and etc. and so forth and nobody would be likely to give me a hard time about it.

“Well, how have you been doing at work?” asked the police officer. I had called him about the body and when he saw it, he let out a deep sigh and wished aloud that I hadn’t contacted him.

And I told him the truth: I hadn’t been doing so hot at work. In the past few months, I’d hit kind of a wall and was having trouble finding the motivation to work past it.

“Tell you what I would do then,” he said. “I would go in to work and then use this as a way to grab a little sympathy. Maybe even absolve yourself from any recent screw-ups.”

Not a bad idea. But have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted to skip the grind? Maybe see a movie?

“I still haven’t seen the new Fast & Furious.”

“Neither have I,” said the officer. “Heard it’s a lot of fun.”

“Yeah.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

“You know, this guy isn’t going anywhere. What if we kind of ducked out for a bit and saw that new Fast & Furious movie?”

“Won’t you get in trouble?”

“Probably not. I’ll just say something about how finding a body really messed me up and so forth and I needed some time and all that. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Why should I mind? It’s not like we can’t both claim to be negatively affected by this.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

It was my neighbor, Gary. He was dressed as usual for work; starched white shirt tucked into khaki pants, briefcase in hand.

“We found a body,” I said. “Or I found it, really.”

“Sweet,” said Gary. “Is that him there in the dumpster? Is that his arm?”

We nodded and Gary shook his head.

“Man,” Gary said. “Man oh man. That’s one hell of a thing to see first thing in the morning. Think I might call in and take the day off.” He frowned. “Yes Sir. That’s exactly what I’ll do. I doubt I’d get a thing done today.”

“We’re going to see that Fast & Furious movie,” said the policeman. “Want to come with?”

“Sure,” said Gary. “I heard it’s a lot of fun.”

rawr means ‘have you SEEN chris pratt’ in dinosaur