ableism aint cute

Books and things to read:

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad

10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD

Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism

Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist

Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.

Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen

Things to watch and listen to:

Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth

Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD

Misc:

Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)

NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)

Finally gonna compile a list! If anyone has ideas to add, feel free to comment and I can add em

Healthy ways to get narcissistic supply

1. Making things for others

Art is a great way to get supply! It not only gives you supply from seeing others’ satisfaction from something you did, it also gets you in touch with your own talents, boosting your self esteem in your artistic gifts, something you have control over improving upon

• Gifts like diy projects, handmade notes/cards, drawings, etc. for people you know

• Holiday goodie bags for the office or your peers for more low-effort impersonal gifts

• Selling art commissions, bringing strangers’ or internet mutuals’ ideas to life with your drawings

• Selling projects on Etsy or in-person craft fairs

2. Performance Arts and Sports

Extracurricular activities can be great for our self esteem and mental health. Connecting our body to our mind can help center us in the present and invest us in the future so we’re able to see the physical results of our effort and progress over time, as well as the praise of others from watching us succeed or win. Many of these also come with physical awards that we can display or show off to others

• Performance arts like dance, singing, plays/musicals, ballet, etc

• Group sports like football, baseball, soccer, etc

• Solo-centered sports like gymnastics, ice skating, karate, track/cross country, swimming, weight lifting, etc

3. Non-Physical Competitive Activities

Not everyone is able-bodied or has an interest in physical competition or activities, so there are many others that are just as engaging and rewarding that don’t require the physical labor. Sometimes all you want is to feel like the smartest or most creative rather than the fastest or strongest

• Visual arts like film, photography, sculpture, painting, etc. can be done individually and posted online or can be done in clubs and classes where you can still feel a sense of community and positive competition

• Competitive club activities like chess, debate, robotics/engineering can be done in school or outside of it

• Competitive games like DND and other tabletop games can be played with friends or others

• Video games or other competitive online games with friends or strangers

• Written arts like story writing, essays, and poetry can also be done in and out of school, in group or solo settings, and can be entered into competitions or submitted online

4. Self-Competitive Activities

Not all competition has to be “other” based, sometimes it can be extremely rewarding to win without other players or parties involved. You can improve your scores or times, or simply prove to yourself that you’re capable of overcoming something mentally challenging

• Online solo-player video games, story games, or puzzle apps

• Hand-held puzzles like rubics cubes or other puzzle/trick boxes or fidgets

• Single-player board games, puzzles, or card games

5. Non-Competitive Activities

Not all activities need to be based on competition to be rewarding or give you supply throughout your “progress” or when you get new ideas. Sometimes hobbies can be self-rewarding or even earn compliments from others without prompting

• Fashion and style, including DIY clothing and jewelry for yourself

• Collecting things for your special interest or other interest such as dolls, posters, figures, merch, etc.

• Fanfiction writing, fanart posting, or other forms of visual and written art to be posted on social media sites where you can receive praise and feedback

6. Community Service

As lame as it can sound to some, “community service” doesn’t necessarily have to be a chore. It can be rewarding to do things that benefit others while also getting a boost yourself. And not all community service is volunteer-work, some opportunities may include pay or a career path. Sometimes helping others that you have a complex about being “above” can give you a lot of supply and make you feel empowered

• Animal welfare work like volunteering in shelters or veterinary clinics, work in sanctuaries and farms, pet sitting or dog walking

• Working with children at shelters, schools, after school programs, babysitting

• Social justice work like protesting, organizing events, and working with others in your local community to create change

• Making blankets, serving food, running groups for houseless or domestic violence shelters

7. Work / School

Supply doesn’t have to come from something extracurricular, it can also come from your performance in work or school. Promotions, praise from your boss or coworkers, and succeeding in projects can all be fulfilling. Praise from teachers, high grades, and turning in exemplary work can also be fulfilling. Sometimes it depends on your career / education path, as you may need to tailor your choice to what kind of supply is strongest for you!

• Competition: law, sales, real estate, finances, business, sports

• Creation: classic arts, writing or transcribing, digital art, design, tech, programming, secretarial work, journalism, architecture, building/fixing work

Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.

Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.

And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.

Here, is a collection of Supply Posts gathered from various blogs, written in case any of the OG Blogs deactivate

{ 69,777,256,206,666,420 Cool Points if you go check the OPs & their original posts }:

( We also have posts regarding Cluster A, Schizospec, intersex, queerness, butches, depression, and various miscellaneous affirmation/positivity posts, If anyone is interested in expanding the variety of supply feel free to request it )

@hellhoundzzz : 

YO narcs. hi hello. you're fucking awesome and swaggy and I love ALL OF YOU !!!!!!!! even if you think you're "evil" or "bad" I. LOVE. YOU. ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/hellhoundzzz/771091793448189953/yo-narcs-hi-hello-youre-fucking-awesome-and

@empath-abuse-awareness : 

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful, they deserve to be proud for all that they have survived especially with such a distressing disorder ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/empath-abuse-awareness/725591431975157760/narcissists-are-so-beautiful-and-handsome-and 

@rainsandrainsand : 

[image] if u r a narcissist u have to live . if u accomplish something else then good . if u accomplish nothing else then good . but u have to live 

[text] Especially if you're also one or any number of marginalized identities.

This is also about the pressure to "heal" ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/psychresources/820878590022385664

@digestivogue : 

narcissists i love you. you're amazing. you're intelligent. you're beautiful. i would die for you

∼ https://www.tumblr.com/digestivogue/723831198992023552/narcissists-i-love-you-youre-amazing-youre 

@punkclowngod : 

i fucking love narcissists i hope all narcs seeing this is having a great day /gen ∼ 

https://www.tumblr.com/punkclowngod/677314072243486720/i-fucking-love-narcissists-i-hope-all-narcs-seeing

@mx-seraph : 

To any narcissists feeling discouraged about the way your disorder is percieved, I just want to tell you that going through the npd tag on tumblr has helped me gain a better understanding of your experiences. I used to think that all narcissists would inevitably become abusers because of what I'd been reading about in my research on the disorder online, but seeing people who actually have the disorder talk about their experiences has helped me get a better perspective on things. Don't stop talking about your experiences, even when it seems like the world is against you, because you might reach someone like me who just wanted to understand. Thank you for showing me what your life is really like. ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/mx-seraph/677996334015447040/to-any-narcissists-feeling-discouraged-about-the

@yourlocalnpd : 

Wow narcissists are so beautiful isnt that just amazing look at you all go you're all just *chefs kiss* ∼ 

https://www.tumblr.com/yourlocalnpd/666978215951286272/wow-narcissists-are-so-beautiful-isnt-that-just  

@equalperson : 

I'm 75% sure I've made a post like this but WGAF I'm doing it again because I want antisocial and narcissistic positivity posts that go beyond just "you're not evil."

so shoutout to stereotypical antisocials and narcissists, people who supposedly affirm the idea that we're "evil:" shoutout to psychopaths and grandiose narcs, to those who have been incarcerated, struggle with lying and aggression, aren't in and/or don't want therapy, and don't empathize with or even love literally anyone.

also, shoutout to non-stereotypical antisocials and narcissists, those who look like they're confused or faking: shoutout to antisocials and narcs with "contradictory" co-occurrences, who are anxiety-prone or otherwise lacking in "sociopathic/narcissistic charm," high-masking, seen as "romanticizing" their PDs, and capable of empathic concern.

from one antisocial narcissist to another, we're all worthy of respect. neither diagnosis is a monolith, and there are so many ways for them to present beyond whatever oversimplified view gets circulated online. your entitlement to safety, support, and fulfillment isn't dependent on anyone thinking you're a "good antisocial/narc," I promise. ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/equalperson/805350829608615936/im-75-sure-ive-made-a-post-like-this-but-wgaf

@digestivogue : 

Kinda hate how all narc positivity is just. ‘You’re not evil!! You’re not inherently bad and unworthy of oxygen’ like. Yeah I know. I feel like just saying ‘you don’t absolutely fucking suck’ is the bare minimum. Not so much positivity as reaffirming that yes, narcs are people. So here’s some real positivity, I hope.

Narcissists are fucking cool! A lot of us know so much about people and socialising and that’s epic of us! A bunch of my favourite people in the world are narcissists and yknow what? That isn’t in spite of them being narcs, it’s along with them being narcs, because of them being narcs, because they’d be different without NPD. They wouldn’t be exactly the same as they are and the way they are is exactly the way I love them.

No, people aren’t necessarily one with their disorders or whatever, but they absolutely are affected by them and with a personality disorder especially, that generally influences your personality! And I love the personalities of all my favourite narcs! There is nothing I would change about any of them!

I love ‘evil’ narcs! I am one! I love when we say ‘fuck it, maybe I am the villain, maybe I am evil.’ Taking control of that narrative is so fucking sick and I’m so into it!

I love ‘soft’ or ‘good’ narcs! I love people who say ‘I am a narc and that makes me inherently pure and good’! I’m so happy you think that way about yourself! Don’t ever let someone tell you any different!

Narcs are so deserving of their supply and attention! If you need supply you can always come to me! You deserve to feel good, okay?

Narcissists are strong and beautiful. It’s exhausting having NPD a lot of the time and dealing with that is a brilliant feat! Surviving days or weeks without supply, that’s incredible! I’m proud of all of us!

And I love the variety of us. I love how relationships can look so different for us. I love narcs. I love you. ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/narcthing/705337473230848000/kinda-hate-how-all-narc-positivity-is-just

@clusterbisntbad : 

Gentle reminder, especially to those with more demonised PDs like ASPD and NPD, that your lack of progress isn't inherently your fault. I see you for trying, and it's hard to overcome bad habits when you're told you're a monster from the people whose job is to help you, like therapists and clinicians. ∼

https://www.tumblr.com/clusterbisntbad/719745514579574784/gentle-reminder-especially-to-those-with-more

Come Get Y’all’s Supply: Main | Supply Request Post | Supply Collection Post | Homegrown Supply Post

“Psychotic/Schizophrenic” when you mean: unpredictable, unrestrained, unreal, etc.

“Bipolar” when you mean: polarized, scattered, fickle, unstable, etc.

“Delusional” when you mean: unrealistic, unreasonable, close-minded, stubborn, etc.

“[insert “R” slur in relation to intellectual disabilities]” when you mean: unreasonable, ridiculous, scatterbrained, immature, etc.

“OCD” when you mean: particular, neat, overbearing, etc.

“Narcissistic” when you mean selfish, abusive, manipulative, etc.

The psychiatrist who wrote the criteria for narcissism just made an extremely important point about what’s wrong with diagnosing Trump with mental disorders

I personally myself don't believe a feeling or disorder can be abusive. Like how you're for empath abuse, however I understand what your account is about (or at least I believe I understand it, if it's for the people who claim to be 'empaths' but are so incredibly shitty).

Either way that's getting off topic. I swear that some people are DEFINITELY leaning to cultist like???? They just seem crazy honestly, narc abuse believers have absolutely NO logic behind it. Their only argument is always "well I was abused by [x person]" and label said person a narcissist only because they're an abuser, which haha. Isn't how our disorder works!! They're mostly just too ignorant I'd say, they're people who are hurt from trauma and that's fine, but they let that be an excuse for acting shitty and are, in turn, not much better than what their abuser was to them. They give abusers an excuse and stigmatize the disorder in the process which then leads to, 1. People struggling for a diagnosis, 2. Abusers or ex-abusers furthermore will avoid NPD all together when acknowledging that could be beneficial (even active abusers are able to notice they have issues), 3. Society outcasts people with said disorder. And MORE! then they complain about people not seeking help??? Like buddy, we can't seek help because of YOU. Because you demonized us so fucking much!

Seriously.

Parents often make the mistake of dismissing their child’s self harm as “attention seeking” when it’s otherwise.

But what always gets me is that, even if a child is harming themselves solely to get attention, that is a huge problem they need help for!

If a person has to go as far as to cause physical harm to themselves in order to gain what they feel as the proper amount of attention, that is someone who needs help ASAP.

No matter the form, no matter the severity, no matter the reason, self harm is a sign of severe distress that deserves immediate, intense attention.

systems with cluster a disorders, you are lovely and worthy of respect regardless of what people think about your "strange" behaviors! you will find a place to fit in and people who will care about you. you're not inherently weird because normal doesn't exist.

systems with cluster b disorders, you are amazing and worthy of kindness regardless of the demonization you face daily! you deserve and will find love, care, and attention just the same as everyone else does. your disorder does not make you an evil person or an abuser by default.

systems with cluster c disorders, you are brilliant and you deserve to feel safe in a world that is often quite terrifying to exist in. you make the world better just by being in it and no matter what anyone or your mind tells you, there is comfort and safety out there to be found.