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not me relapsingđ¤Şâđ˝

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Iâm fat when Iâm standing next to skinny people but on my own I donât look as fat
the annoying thing is Iâm the kind of fat that I can hide if I feed strategically but then Iâm always paranoid that people will Find Out which I swear is almost worse than just being fat ll the time
2.5 years since iâve used this account and I feel like Iâm falling back into ed habitsâđ˝
should Not have weighed myself while staying at my parents, this is why I donât own a scale
a good thing about being dissociated is that i feel No connection to my body so my ed is way less of a bitch and i can see myself a bit more objectively?? still feel so disconnected and Out of it tho

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so i think i might have two more mental illnesses?? but obviously i donât wanna self diagnose so i need to get a therapist again soon but in the past every time i think i have a disorder i Did have it so???? we love being Mentally Unstable
to make food and just throw it out or to not waste food but you canât lie to your parents that you ate so they yell at you?
that is that question
i simply didnât make it so my mom is probably gonna yell at me tomorrow morning
its the âmy parents talking about weight loss ad calories even though they Know i had/have an eating disorderâ for me
to make food and just throw it out or to not waste food but you canât lie to your parents that you ate so they yell at you?
that is that question
donât!!! fuck!!! with!!! laxatives!!!
fun fact, i used to abuse laxatives on the daily. it was and still is an addiction ive struggled to stop. just a lil story for yall. when i was first admitted to hospital in the medical ward, i wasnât able to pass a âbowel motionâ for over two weeks. my doctors had to convince me to have enemas, which didnât even wind up working. i would have to lay on the toilet floor while a nurse gave me the enema. it was humiliating. but despite the humiliation, the enemaâs didnât do anything. my nurses were fascinated, theyâd come around just to feel my stomach âwow youâre really blocked up arenât youâ and theyâd show me my xrays of the buildup. it wound up getting to the point my doctors were saying i might need surgery to remove my poop, because it was getting to the point where my life could be at risk from the toxins being flushed back into my body due to the blockage. imagine, either having to have doctors surgically remove your literal SHIT, or else having your cause of death be âconstipationâ. itâs not worth it. not one bit. and the thing is, laxatives donât actually help you lose weight. all it does is push the fluid out of your body, as soon as you eat or drink something your body will return to itâs normal weight. donât fuck around with laxatives, they will destroy your life

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i do not care how bad your mental health and your own problems are.
DO NOT body shame. DO NOT fat shame.
âfatspoâ is one of the most disgusting things i have had to come across here. no, this site isnât full of sunshine and rainbows, and thereâs so much toxicity within this community.
however, NOBODY gets to stoop so low to shame another person just because THEIR body is not ideal to YOU. itâs disgusting behaviour.
i had an idea for a tik tok but i realized it probably wouldnât be the best thing to post so i will simply tell yâall what it wouldâve been
basically itâs the audio from Cardiâs verse is WAP where she goes âwant you touch that lil dangly thing that swing in the back of my throatâ but itâs me talking to my fingers
i hate the fact that i have mental illness becuase obviously Iâd love to not want to die all the time but i also hate that my mental illness isnât That bad
like i feel like iâm not mentally ill Enough or donât have Enough trauma to warrant me being like this
i just hate the feeling of being average and i guess that feeling also exists within my mental health which is Fucked up
I saw this and figured I would share it <3

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i want to carve the fat off of my thighs
me: is actually doing wel in recovery (even without a current therapist or treatment team) and is eating meals and even bought my favorite chocolate
my dad: hides said chocolate becuase he wants me to âration itâ and when an old chair i was sitting in tears a bit he makes a joke about me needing to diet and not eating anymore chocolate
i was already feeljng Not Great today and now i honestly want to kms so much