Emmy D. Wells

His Life Flashed Before My Eyes

My dad died last month and I’ve only told a few people. This is the first time I’ve written it down. Eliot and my therapist listened to me process my feelings, the good and the bad. My best friend, Becky, and I messaged for a while, then she sent me flowers the next day. At first, I was okay with them being the only ones to know, but then I saw my dad’s obituary and it made me sad. Photo of…

I’ve written about duality before, but it seems especially evident for me right now. This summer has been both bad and good, full of sick and health, and abounding with the desire to write and not write. Of all the times in my life since Owen and Max, our two oldest sons, went to live in a residential facility, this summer has had the biggest ups and downs than any other time.

Block letters…

Wear Someone Else’s Shoes

My mom used to say there is no rest for the wicked or the weary. I may not be wicked (most of the time), but I am weary (the rest of the time), and so it follows that there is no rest for this writer with walls to paint, a deck to stain, and a garden to tend.

I have been easing up on my writing lately. I’m telling myself it’s mostly due to the summer work I have taken on this year and am…

Conversations about race are never easy, but…

In 2011, when we moved to the state of Maine with our four kids, we made an appointment for the local Internet company to come and install our WiFi around the same time the movers showed up with our belongings. Some time after they left, we found a calling card sitting behind Eliot’s computer. It said, “LICENSE TO HUNT AND KILL” followed by the N-word.

A while later, I was in our local pizza…

What Would Captain Picard Do?

I’m watching Star Trek: The Next Generation while I write this because as of late, my brain doesn’t want to focus on anything unless something is going on in the background. That’s been increasingly common for me as I get older and the sources for my anxiety become larger and harder to ignore.

Picture of space with the words What Would Captain Picard Do?

I’ve always been a little bit like…

I Couldn’t Be More Grateful

Last week, I received an email from Max and Owen’s residential facility updating us on the COVID-19 situation down there. As of the date of the email, the facility had 36 people, both students and staff, that had been infected.

I was flooded with emotions as I read the lengthy notice.

We are all worried about our family and ourselves getting it. But I also worry about the staff and whether…

Even though I’m guilty of writing one or two, I’m getting weary of reading all the COVID-19 articles and blogs with the bountiful lists of how to do this or avoid that or ways you can prevent the other. It could just be me. I have a love-hate—mostly hate—relationship with lists anyway.

Yet, here I am, writing another post about Coronavirus—sort of.

As with many of you, over the last month,…

The pictures and videos of people visiting their loved ones in nursing homes get my tears flowing—in a good way—every time I see a report. I am so happy that people are thinking about their loved ones during this time of isolation.

Nursing homes aren’t the only facilities that have shut down family visitations during this ongoing threat of Coronavirus, though. Last week, the residential…

Even though, as far as we know, nobody in our family has been infected with COVID-19, we’ve been doing our best to follow the CDC guidelines.

Eliot and I have a science and health care background, respectively, and we both understand and respect the reasons for the request to keep a social distance. Among other reasons, it’s important to control the flow of people coming into the hospitals…

Since my last post, I’ve been thinking a lot about foster care, the kids fated to live in it, and the people charged with running the broken system.

I’ve been fueled by a series of books I came across just before the new year. The author of these books is Cathy Glass (@CathyGlassUK) and she is a foster carer in England. She writes accounts of her experiences taking care of foster kids over the…

I’ve had a troubling conversation with Max more than once over the last year. He has seen kids in the residential facility where he lives turn 18 and then go away. He tells me they are taken to the local homeless shelter, given a few dollars and left there to get on with their lives.

He’s really worried the same thing will happen to him. He’s scared and can’t get it out of his head.

I’ve…

Which Spectrum Do You Mean?

In the world of pediatric mental health disorders, Autism Is King! At least it seems that way to me. I don’t mean to offend anyone. Autism is real and it is serious. Many people struggle a great deal as a result of the complications it can cause in their lives.

We have been told that Owen has it, but truthfully, he only has some overlapping symptoms that kind-a-sorta-but-not-really qualify him…

It’s Not His Fault He Didn’t Say “Ouch!”

Eight years ago Eliot got sick and ended up in a wheelchair. Prior to the illness, Eliot walked most places, but with a limp. He was born with spina bifida and, even though he learned to walk, he has never been able to feel much in his legs and he can only use his quadriceps.

He was on bed rest for two and a half months. When he was finally allowed to get up and move around on his own, his…

The Next Step: What Happens When A Special Needs Child Turns 18?

Two weeks ago, I had a meeting about Owen. As a special needs parent, there is never a shortage of meetings, even when your child is in a residential facility. They have not one or two people, but an entire team for each child. Most of them have more than one team, depending on which sphere of their lives it concerns.

The school team involves teachers, therapists, psychologists, a member of…

Owen called me over the weekend. I could tell he was angry as soon as I answered. He went on a tirade about how he had gone to Walmart with some of the kids on his unit and, when they got back, one of the kids made him mad. Those aren’t his exact words, but I’ll leave out the more colorful parts of his diatribe.

In the past, when this has happened, I’ve tried to work through the issue with…

A Treatment Worse Than The Disease

A little over two years ago, I got a phone call from the facility where Owen currently resides. There were two people on the other end of the phone line. If you’ve ever had a child in a residential facility, you would know that when two people are on the other end of the phone line, it’s never a good thing. Either your child did something horrible to another resident, a staff member did something…

I don’t go into the boy’s room very often (Max, Owen, and Luke have always shared a room). I could say that it’s because they are teenagers now and they like their privacy. I could also tell you I don’t go in because…teenagers smell. They just do.

While there is some truth to both of those things, I mostly don’t like to go into their room because Owen and Max’s beds are there. When I see them…