sail on, silver girl

hi friends, it’s 3:30am but i’m awake and i just wanted to say that this week has been huge. i moved into my apartment (on campus, but still) and i’m doing so great. there was some drama and a lot of crying early on but i don’t need anywhere near as much help as my parents thought…. in fact i’m doing almost everything on my own!!! i’ve been saying for years that i just need a chance to show what i’m capable of and i’ll figure things out and be fine - and i was right!!!! my positive outlook doesn’t feel quite so naive anymore, to be honest. there was a time when i thought i’d be so nervous and scared to do this that it’d go horribly, but i haven’t been nervous at all!!!! idk if that’s because of my meds or what but i’m so proud of myself. i was assigned suitemates but they haven’t shown up, and honestly i hope they don’t. my apartment is ADA compliant and i have everything how i like it and need it, and adding more people would be claustrophobic. i’ve made new friends already, and the ones i had have been so supportive and encouraging and wonderful, i’m seriously blown away. it’s only been a week but i already know i’m going to hate to leave and go back to living with my parents in december. i feel like i’ve really changed their perspective on this. they’ve always been terrified of letting go and really overprotective, and it really held me back from fully being and expressing myself as the person i am, from being who i always knew i was and could be. i thought i’d be more emotional since this has taken so long, but honestly i just feel vindicated and validated. and content…. even though i do sometimes have fomo and get scared i’m not doing enough.