Chapter 8 - Pain, Pain, & More Pain
It's finally Wednesday. The day I get to see auntie Yelena. I haven't seen her since I was first with Jay. She never met him but she always wanted to hear about him. It worked out because I always wanted to hear about her and Kate. I loved Kate. I still do. I hope they can make some sort of amends to each other when Lena is here because they are meant for each other.
Mom went to the airport to pick her up and I stayed home with mama since the airport would be a bit too much stimulation for me.
"Baby, you've cleaned the living room 3 times. It's perfect. She won't even notice." Mama chuckled and put her hands on my shoulders softly squeezing them.
"I know, I know. I just haven't seen her in a while and I want everything perfect!" I say looking up at her.
"You are perfect, Max. I promise she will be too excited to see you to even notice the spotless house you managed to clean all day today." She kissed my forehead and hugged me.
I went to go put a sweater on in my room when I heard the front door open. I heard squeals from mama and Yelena. They have a really cute relationship. It's like mom has 3 kids to look after when we're all together.
I run downstairs and immediately make eye contact with my aunt. She walks to me with her arms wide open and lifts me into a loving, warm hug.
"Ohhh I've missed you so much Maxie." Yelena says inhaling my scent and hugging me even tighter.
"I've missed you too auntie Lena." I reply, with noticeable tears in my eyes.
She pulls back and wipes them with her thumbs and kisses my forehead.
"No need to cry, I'm here now." She smiles.
"I know, I've just missed you so much." I say pulling her back into a hug which she gladly reciprocates.
I see mom and mama help take her stuff upstairs into my room. She always stays with me in my room, when she visits. Unless she was at Kate's apartment. Auntie Lena is honestly my best friend now that I think about it. We might not hang out all the time but we're always texting or playing GamePigeon or FaceTiming. I can tell her anything and she always knows what to say and how to help. I'd be so lost without moms or Yelena.
"How's Fanny? I wish you could've brought her." I say as we sit down.
"I know, my love. She misses you. My neighbors daughter is watching her. They get along well. Maybe we can convince your mamas to let you come stay with me for a bit. It'll be good for you to get out of the city for a bit. It can feel too cramped sometimes."
"You're telling me. It's such a big city yet I feel like I always run into someone I know or who knows me." I finish.
Mom and mama return downstairs and mama turns on the oven for dinner.
"How was your flight?" Mom asks her as she sits down next to me, rubbing my back.
"Oh the usual. A kid was kicking my seat, the flight attendant accidentally spilled some juice on me, the old man sitting next to me was snoring. Nothing like it, I can tell ya that!" She replies making mom chuckle.
"I'm sorry you got a crappy seat. It's because of me that you couldn't book one earlier." I say weakly without making eye contact.
Yelena shifts over to me lifting my chin up to make eye contact with her.
"Hey detka, no. It's not your fault at all. I would walk if it meant I got to spend sometime with you. These types of situations make for good stories I can tell and over exaggerate." She winks, making me laugh.
I pull Max back into a hug. I didn't realize how much I've missed her. She's so much smaller in my arms from the last time I saw her. I try to push the urge to kill that son of a bitch to the back of my mind and focus on her.
We stayed hugging for a while until Wanda announced that dinner was ready.
"This smells delicious Wanda! I've missed your cooking!" I say digging in.
"Yeah well anything seems better when all you have is Mac n cheese with sriracha." Nat says to me making my mouth drop in offense.
"Hey! That is a staple meal! It is always good and always there for me." I reply, smacking her arm in the process.
"I like your Mac n cheese, auntie." Max says sweetly making me kiss her temple.
"See? At least your daughter knows what's good." I say.
"Well I'm glad you like it, Lena. It's one of Max's favorites too. We sure miss having you around." Wanda says to me, smiling.
"I miss being near you guys too. I promise to visit more."
"Or you could just move in here." Max mumbles, but I managed to hear her.
"Oh I would love that, so much detka. Maybe one day."
Once dinner was finished, we made our way back to the living room and I had some wine along with Nat and Wanda. Max was very engrossed in the film we were watching. All Dogs Go to Heaven. I love how sensitive she is. She's so much like Wanda that way. Both of them were in tears by the end, making me and Nat the emotional support.
"It's okay Wands. I really do think all dogs go to heaven." Nat says, making me hold in a laugh.
"I miss Fanny!" Max says crawling into my arms making me chuckle a bit.
"She's okay detka, I promise. Look, Alice just sent me a picture of her on a walk with her. Look." I pulled my phone out to show her. She smiled sadly before zooming in.
"You need to bring her next time." She says seriously.
"I promise I will." I kiss her head.
"I think it's time for someone to head into the shower and then to bed." Nat says, eyes pointed at Max.
She nods and gets up slowly.
"I'll see you in there detka." I promise to her as she walks up the stairs slowly, but in some pain.
"Is she still hurting?" I ask setting my glass down towards Wanda and Nat.
"Yeah, but she tries to hide it. She's sore pretty much everywhere." Wanda replies.
"I want to kill him, Nat. He doesn't get to do that to her. Especially her! Someone who wouldn't hurt a fly and who loves everyone and is too good for us all." I say angrily.
"Join the club, Lena. Right behind us. She's so strong though. She's really persevering. She's had a couple of hard days lately but you being here lights her up in a way we haven't seen in a long while, so thank you sestra." Nat says putting her hand on my knee.
"You know I would drop everything for her. God I miss her so much. And you guys. I love you both so much, but she is the best thing you ever did." I say taking another sip.
"We full heartedly agree." Wanda says smiling.
I help Wanda clean up the dishes and living room before we all head upstairs for bed.
"If you need anything let us or Max know and we can get it for you." Wanda says giving me a hug.
"Thank you, Wanda." I smile before she heads into their room.
"Anything I should avoid talking about?" I ask Nat before heading into Max's room.
"I think she'll be pretty open with you. You're good with her, we trust you. She needs this time with you. I can't thank you enough." Nat says hugging me.
"Goodnight, Nat. I'll see you in the morning. I love you."
"I love you more." She responds walking into their room and shutting the door.
I can still hear the water running when I walk into the room. I unpack a few of my things before I hear it shut off and the door creak open.
"It's just me, Maxie you can come out." I say quietly.
She walks out in her towel and my eyes immediately go to her neck. The handprint. It takes everything in me to take a deep breath and let go of some anger.
"You can look closer, Lena. I trust you." She says walking over to me.
I gently lift her chin up to get a better look.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you, Max." I say sadly.
"Auntie..." She says softly taking my hand. "You were the one who taught me to have courage and bravery. I told moms what happened and I'm here now. That's because of you. You did protect me." She says.
I smile and pull her into me.
We pull apart and she goes back into the bathroom to change into her PJs. I do the same.
She turns off her main bedroom light and switches on her cute jack o lantern lights hung around her room.
We lay down in the bed and she cuddles into me as we stare up at the ceiling. I run my hand up and down her back, feeling goosebumps follow at my touch and her ribs between my fingers.
"I'm sorry he hurt you, detka. You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve all the abuse you had to endure with him. Not just physical but emotional too. You are the best person I know. You didn't deserve that." I say firmly but lovingly.
"I didn't know how to handle it, Lena. The first time he hit me, I just stood there and took it. Thinking I deserved it. But then I thought he was making me better because he told me he knew what was best for me. Am I that helpless? Where someone else has to tell me how to be...Max?" She asks sincerely, now making eye contact with me.
"No no no, not at all Max. You're not helpless. Sometimes we love someone so much that we lose ourselves in the process. You just wanted him to be happy you thought that obeying him would. It's natural to think that, babe. It's not natural for him to do that though. He shouldn't have used you in the way he did. It's nice to have the validation of someone who claims to love you. It's actions that really count." I say looking into her green eyes.
"Mom and mama always show me they love me. You do too." She says putting her head on my chest.
"That's because no one else will love you as much as we do, my love. No one." I say kissing her head.
"I'm gonna go grab some water, do you need any?" I ask getting off the bed.
"No I'm okay." She smiles back.
I walk back into the bedroom to find her fast asleep. I turn the lights off and climb in with her. I pull her into me, with my hand around her waist.
"I love you so much, Max. I'll always be here." I say before falling asleep myself.
I wake up to the sunlight peaking through the curtains. Max is still in my arms now facing me with her head on my chest. Her brows are furrowed and it looks like she's dreaming.
I check my phone and reply to some messages. I put it back down and turn facing her again. It seems like she isn't sleeping super well. I put my hand on her cheek and rub it with my thumb, trying to ease her awake.
I smile when her eyes flutter open indicating she's fully awake now.
"Good morning my love. How did you sleep?" I ask kissing her forehead.
"I slept okay. You're really comfy and warm. It must be a Romanoff-Belova thing." She says smiling at my kiss.
"I'm sorry you only slept okay. Did you have any nightmares or are you hurting anywhere?" I ask concerned.
"I can't really remember if I had any nightmares but I do need to take some painkillers. My ribs are killing me." She says sitting up.
I pull her shirt up to see how bad her ribs are and it's way worse than I thought. How is she functioning right now? I graze my fingers over her bruises and some are slightly raised and swollen.
"Babe, are you sure none of these are broken?" I ask making eye contact.
"I don't think so. Mama tried to feel and I felt and I don't think any were broken." She says wincing as she moves a bit.
"Max, I think we should take you to the doctor to get an X-ray. I'm worried at the look of these. Do your moms know it's this bad?" I ask.
"No...I haven't shown them yet. I've finally got to the point where I'm not crying everyday. I didn't want to bother them." She says sadly looking down.
"I get it detka, I do. But we need to show them and take you to the doctor. These should've healed a little more by now. They'll understand, my love I promise."
"Okay. I'll change and show them." She gets off the bed slowly and into the bathroom.
I change into a hoodie and joggers and head downstairs to make coffee. I see Nat and Wanda are already up with a mug out for me.
"Thank you, I have missed your coffee, Wanda." I say taking a drink.
"Anytime. How did you guys sleep?" She asks.
"I slept amazing. Max not so much. She hasn't told you but her ribs are bothering her. I don't know how she's managing it. I think we need to take her to the doctor to see if any are broken." I say and both their eyes go wide.
"She hasn't shown us or said anything. She's probably been in so much pain." Nat says putting her mug down.
We hear Max's light footsteps coming down the stairs towards the kitchen.
"Hi baby." Wanda says hugging her gently.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I don't know. I know I could have I guess I was just worried. I didn't want to bother you." She says sadly.
"Baby, no. You could never bother us." Nat says.
"Can we see baby?" Wanda asks her.
She nods and slowly lifts her sweater. Wanda gasps and Nat takes a closer look.
"I'll go call the doctor and see if we can get in today." Nat says leaving the room.
"Here baby, sit down, I'll get you some medicine and some breakfast." I say as Wanda guides her to the couch.
I come back with a bagel and some juice for her to swallow the medicine with.
"Dr. Philips can see us today at 11. Is that okay with you Max?" Nat says coming back in the room.
Max nods while eating her bagel.
We all hop in the car and make our way to the doctor.
“Max, I wish we were meeting on slightly better circumstances.” Dr. Phillips tells her.
“Me too.” She replies shyly.
“Alright let’s take a look here.”
Dr. Phillips goes to lift up her shirt but she quietly gasps and stops his hand.
“It’s okay, my love. He’s just going to look. You’re okay you’re safe.” Nat tells her reassuringly.
Dr. Phillips finished his exam and took her to get her X-ray. Nat, Wanda, and I were left in the boring doctors room. 45 long minutes went by before they finally returned.
“Alright so Max does have 2 broken ribs. Neither one are in a dangerous spot. No strenuous or rough activities for at least 6 weeks. That will give them time to mend on their own. I prescribed some pain medication for her to take once a day, twice if her pain is severe. It should be ready to pick up in an hour. I’ll have you schedule a follow up in 6 weeks. Get better, Max.” He said standing up.
“Thank you, Dr.” Nat says.
He walks out of the rooms leaving us.
“Are you ready to go home detka?” I ask her sweetly, stroking her hair.
She just nods in return. Something is off with her. I just can’t figure it out yet. All is adults share a knowing look.
When we get home, Max goes straight into her room and shuts the door, obviously wanting to be alone.
“She seems to be feeling worried and off put. I can’t really explain it.” Wanda says.
“Well let’s just give her some time. She knows she can come to us if she needs.” Nat says and we all nod.
Wanda and I go outside to tend to her garden. We’re in a comfortable silence before we hear a scream in the house. Max’s to be precise. I’m quick to ditch my garden tools and rush inside the house with Wanda following, and upstairs to find Nat sitting on Max’s bed as she’s fighting someone in her sleep. She’s having a night terror.
“Max…Max baby. Max! Come on honey, wake up. Wake up for me.” Nat says lightly shaking her shoulders.
“Nat, move, let me try something.” I say with urgency and she moves out of the way. I sit Max in my lap and hold her against me. I have one hand against her head and the other holding her lower back securely.
“Shh, shhh baby. It’s okay. You’re okay.” I whisper.
“Get off me, Jay! You’re hurting me! Please!” She screams, voice cracking. I look at Wanda and Nat with tears in their eyes, having a hard time watching their daughter fight him in her mind.
“Detka, it’s me, it’s Lena. It’s auntie Lena. Wake up for me babe.” I say a bit louder to make sure she can hear me.
I rub my hand up and down her back. She shoots her eyes open and gasps for air.
“There we go, you’re okay Maxie. I’ve got you. Take a deep breath for me.”
She follows what I say. I help her calm down for the next 5 minutes.
She clings to my shirt and starts to cry.
“I’m so tired, Lena. I just want this all to stop. I thought I was getting better but every time I take a step forward it’s like he pushes me 4 steps back.” She cries.
“I know he’s gone and getting what he deserves but I’m still suffering under him and I just want it to stop. I can’t take it anymore. Everytime I turn a corner or bump into something, I’m afraid he’s there. I can’t even be normal and just enjoy my time with you without having a breakdown.” She says a bit calmer, but with way more sadness laced in her voice.
“Max, my love. You’re not ruining our time together at all. I promise you. I care for you in every way. As much as your moms. I’m here for you. We all are. I’m so sorry we can’t make it stop. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. We just need to take this one step at a time. We can help you find resources to cope with this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know we are big and tough romanoffs but talking with someone, learning how to cope with everything in the red room and losing my family has been the best thing for me. I have so much faith in you, my love. You will move forward. You can put this all behind you. Let us help. We are here for you. I love you more than anything in my life, Maxie. It’ll be okay.” I finish with tears running down my face, overwhelmed with protectiveness and love for the girl in my arms.
“I love you too, Yelena. I’m glad you’re here.” She replies smiling.
Nat and Wanda join us and we all hug for a while.
Later on that day, after dinner we were all watching a hallmark movie Max and Wanda love. Max and Wanda fell asleep on me and Nat before the movie finished.
“How did you do that?” Nat asks me.
“Calm her down. I don’t think either of us have been able to that fast before. How did you do it?”
“It’s how Kate always got me to calm down. It worked everytime.” I say back, slightly smiling.
