Below the cut is the full master list of everything I've posted to this blog. Hope you enjoy my mass jumble of ideas and daydreams!
PLEASE NOTE fics marked with * are NSFW and have a mature/explicit rating. Each individual fic has its own warnings.
Enjoy and happy reading!
Em
- DIN DJARIN
dance with me? 1.4/k Slow dancing with Din in the Razor Crest
* keep me in your heart for a while 6.6K You help Din after a chance encounter near your home. A friends to lovers with fluff, smut, some hurt/comfort and some mild angst.
* NSFW/SFW Alphabet (Collab with @healingstardust)
-FRANKIE MORALES
*relax for me sweetheart 1.3KĀ After a rough day at work, Frankie will do whatever he can to make you feel better.
- JOEL MILLERĀ
catch a glimpse of sunlight 769 You wake earlier than normal and spend some time admiring Joel before he wakes. Set after TLOU.
a hard adjustmentĀ 985Ā Ā Ā You sneak off for some alone time outside Jackson and a worried Joel comes to check on you. Ā Ā
kiss it all betterĀ 2.2KĀ A normal patrol goes very wrong in the desad of winter, lbut luckily for you Joel is there to patch all your wounds.
- STEVE MURPHY
* quick to forgive 832 An argument leads to you two releasing some tension.
* NSFW Alphabet (Collab with @knivesareout)
need you more than ever 1.3k Spending a quiet Valentine's Day with your sweet husband.
* give him a showĀ Ā Ā Ā 3.3kĀ Ā Steve offers Javi an incredible opportunity...
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19. Summer camp AU and 59. Interrupted Declaration of LoveĀ for Finn/Poe pretty please!ā¤
Send in 2 numbers and a character or ship and Iāll write a lil blurb!!
Oh my, Em, this is a superb combo!!!
And surprise, I ended up writing what amounts to an 850 word summary of a much longer theoretical fic, so we'll pop it under a cut.
Right off the bat, I'm picturing a larger sleepaway camp that spans middle and high school, with Poe as a counselor for the youngest kiddos and Finn as a counselor for incoming juniors or seniors.
Poe is so good with the younger kids, of course he is. He comforts the ones who are missing home because it's their first time away from their parents for so long, he's great at reorienting their energy and keeping up with how lively they are. And obviously the older kids can be a handful too, but Finn can be a little more subdued with them and he takes them seriously and talks to them like equals, which they like and respect.
They've both been working the camp together for a few years, now, and they've become real close and last summer, the last night there was this moment where they were sitting up late together on the last night and Poe was thinking about maybe, possibly just...
But he'd lost his nerve.
And then this summer they get back for the all-staff meeting before campers are due to arrive the next day, and they fall back into their old vibe so quickly and so easily and Poe lies awake half the night thinking about it, and then the other half of the night hyping himself up to pull Finn away from breakfast and confess his feelings.
Unfortunately for Poe, his sleepless night leads to him accidentally sleeping through breakfast. He stumbles out of bed and cleans himself a little bit, but he feels like a mess and looks it, too, by the way Finn asks if he feels alright when he barely makes it to the meeting that morning on time.
But Finn's eyes are so kind when he asks...
The second the meeting is over, Poe nudges Finn's side and mumbles, "Hey, can we talk for a sec?"
On the shore of the little lake where they've spent countless hours over the past few years -- laughing over the campers during the day, chatting in the dead of night when their kids have gone to bed -- Poe fidgets with his hands and gets about as far as, "I've just been thinking... I'd really like it if maybe..."
And then, from a little further along the shore, one of the other counselors calls out to tell them that the first bus of campers is arriving.
Poe feels like an idiot until Finn squeezes his arm and says, "We'll finish this tonight, okay?" and the sweet smile playing at Finn's lips is telling enough.
Rating:Ā T to be safe, Din does say something with a double meaning :)
Word Count: about 1.4K
A/N: A self indulgent fluff piece, because who doesnāt want to slow dance with Din in the crest?? Hope you all enjoy! BIG shoutout and thanks to my dear friend @dirty-holy-things for reading and giving me some help on it!
You let out a tired sigh as you look down at the baby in your arms. The little guy was fighting sleep something fierce tonight, and he cooed up at you as he tried to squirm out of your arms. You knew he was anxious and full of nervous energy, itās been 4 days now since the Mandalorian had left to look for his latest bounty. You had done your best to care for the child, and while he does adore you, he missed the presence of his dad. As quiet and stoic as Mando is, the Razor Crest always felt so suffocatingly quiet while he was away. You both miss him and wait, some not so patiently, for his return.Ā
A mix of filth and feels for you all with our very own and favorite Mandalorian: Din Djarin. In collaboration with @emmikmilā (give her a follow, amazing writing)Ā and myself. We were talking in our messages and came up with this idea of a NSFW and a SFW alphabet deal; the 2 for one special if you will. Cross posted on AO3.
Other than that my lovely followers and readers; ENJOY OUR FAVORITE SPACE DAD! >;)
Din Djarin x Reader
Tags: This is an 18+ post so if you are a minor please, for the love of all things universally good, just scroll past this! Thank you!
Warnings:Ā Mild talk of injuries, a little sad, oral sex (f receiving) unprotected sex (this is fantasy ok IRL wrap that shit up and be SAFE)
Summary: You help Din after a chance encounter near your home. A friends to lovers with fluff, smut, some hurt/comfort and some mild angst. Set before and during season 1 of The Mandalorian.
A/N: This is part of the sl+ discord fic exchange andĀ I wrote this for the amazing and lovely @koskareevesismyqueen Ā I hope you enjoy!!Ā Also big love to @soyelfuegoquearde for the beta read of my monster fic! Fic title is from the song Keep me in your heart by The Wailinā JennysĀ <3
It takes you by surprise to hear blaster fire breaking the tranquil silence as you walk home. You had taken your bi weekly trip to the bustling city close by to stock up on supplies and it was unusual for any person, let alone people with blasters, to be nearby. Where you live is quiet and peaceful, nothing violent has happened in this small corner of the galaxy. Your house was tucked deep in the forest, nobody using this trail but you in your trips back and forth to the city.Ā
You step off the path slowly to lean against a nearby tree to peer over to your left. The blaster fire had ceased for a moment but it renewed again, only closer this time. You drop down quickly, your heart jumping to your throat as an odd pinging noise rattles the air, like the shots were hitting something metal and a groan echoes throughout the trees. One last shot, then silence settles in the quickly dimming forest.
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Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing: Poe Dameron/F!Reader (no pronouns)
Rating:Ā Explicit
Word Count:Ā 2.9k words
Summary:Ā First thing on the agenda: Poe Dameron is going to wash his kriffing hair. Second thing on the agenda: Poe is going to find you.
Warnings:Ā SMUT (18+ only): unprotected piv
A/N: So @marvelousmermaidā said I should write something to celebrate Oscar confirming that Poe is aĀ āmake loveā kinda guy, and then this happened. I wrote it as kind of a spiritual prequel toĀ āwhen day is done,ā but you can absolutely read this as a stand-alone piece.
Cross-posted to AO3 here!
āā
First thing on the agenda: Poe Dameron is going to wash his kriffing hair.
Well, honestly heās looking forward to showering in general; a sonic gets the job done just fine, but Maker, does he miss the feeling of actual pressurized water running through his hair and over his body. Whatās the point of being one of the commanders of the Resistance if not to indulge in his private shower in his private āfresher in his private room?
Second thing on the agenda: Poe is going to find you.
Because it might be a close race between you and his private shower in his private āfresher in his private room, but he thinks heās missed you more.
all right. okay, so this is nonsense, but iāve been getting a lot of work done on my teeth lately and iāve been distracting myself with very self-indulgent things. so like, you know. enjoy, if youāre interested. maybe i will add more, idk, it wasnāt enough to be a Real Fic but i needed to get it out.
Itās been years since you properly went to the dentist because you havenāt had the time OR the dental insurance until recently
Youāre scared, but you decide to just get it over with when an ache in your jaw refuses to clear up on its own
A quick Google search gives you Little Bird Dentistry and you go with itāitās close to your place, has good reviews, and its website confirms it takes your insurance
i want you to stay [dieter bravo x plus size f!reader]
summary: Dieter Bravo wants you to peg him, and heās about to fall face first into some feelings.
rating: E [SMUT, anal play, pegging, oral sex, slight allusions to Covid, some weight/self-esteem issues on both their ends, some kind of emotional stuff but idk Dieter that well, weāre just having fun]
pairing: Dieter Bravo x plus size!f!reader
word count: ~4k
note: Happy Bubble eve! Idk what Iāve done here, and I think I hate it, but Dieter is a baby who needed to be pegged by a curvy hottie, soābon appetit! As always, love my @starlightmorningsā for the beta.
masterlist | taglist | ao3
~
Three weeks.Ā
Three weeks heās been here, and he hasnāt fucked anyone since his arrival. He hasnāt even gotten a blowjob, which is a fucking crime, as far as heās concerned. Dieter Bravo is an Oscar winner, for Christās sake. If an Oscar winner canāt get mediocre head from one of his co-stars, something is definitely wrong.Ā
summary: Bounty hunter Din Djarin rescues you from a group of bandits. An heiress from the City of Naboo and engaged to be married to a newly appointed Moff in Coruscant, you are unsure how to accommodate to the coarseness of the wild countryside and the mysterious man who saves you.
word count: 4.3k
warnings:Ā Canon-Typical violence, gunslinging, some mild blood/gore, tobacco use. Rated T for now, later chapters will be more Mature.
AO3 //// Masterlist //// Series MasterlistĀ //// next chapter
A tall man appears out of the thickets, spinning a pistol. He wears a cowboy hat, slung low over his brow, and his face is covered by a wild rag. Only his eyes are visible, black and angry in the low light. Over his shoulder is the shadow of a long-range rifle, strapped to some bandolier that crosses his chest. Heās a stranger. Decidedly, not one of the men who had kidnapped you from the stagecoach and heās taking long strides towards you and suddenly hauls you to your feet.
Heās gruff, doesnāt speak. You demand he tell you who he is, and that if he makes any trouble, it shall only land him in prison. Heās not interested, not even listening, but rather manhandles you back into the close circle by the campfire your captors had set up.
āWho are you? Are you one of them?ā you demand from, thinking youāve been saved by one set of captors only to be wrangled by another.
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Fandom: The Last of Us
Pairing: Joel Miller/F!Reader
Rating: Teen
Word Count:Ā 681 words
Summary: Since you and Joel became separated from everyone else and opted to barricade yourselves on the second floor of an old house for the night, youāve been too focused on taking inventory of your weapons and gear to think about much else.
Warnings:Ā Light angst/relationship tension, but nothing serious
Cross-posted to AO3 here!
āā
āGo on, get it over with.ā
You look across the room at Joel, barely able to make out his expression in the near darkness now that the sun has sunk below the horizon. But you can see enoughāthe fatigue, the guilt, and the scratch from cheekbone to jaw from his stumble while the two of you were running.
This day has been a blur, what with your early start leaving Jackson, the long ride for your supply run, and everything that has unfolded since a member of your crew accidentally made enough sound to draw the attention of a hoard of infected in the area.
And for the past hour, since you and Joel became separated from everyone else and opted to barricade yourselves on the second floor of an old house for the night, youāve been too focused on taking inventory of your weapons and gear to think about much else.
So you might sound evasive as you ask, āGet what over with?ā But given everything youāve just been through, itās truly difficult to tell.
Important question: no matter how embarrassing the answer is, tag or comment with the first song you can remember really liking as a little kid. The one you tried to listen to as much as possible and thought was really profound. Bonus points if you say how old you were.
iāll start. the song āi talk to the windā by king crimson was my favourite song when i was 7 years old ⦠I thought it was so Moving. and it still slaps
can I request 48 for Poe? I'm not sure if the Oscar Isaac week is still onš
In Another Life
A/N: Hi anon! Thank you for your request! The prompt and the title sound angsty but I swear to you this is nothing but fluff because I keep writing angsty stuff and I needed a soft Poe moment for once.
#48. Using your body to shield them from attack.
Oscar Isaac character week āØ
Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader
Word count: 982
Warnings: BB-8 goes rogue.
There was an unspoken deal among the Resistance in which everybody knew that the little hill of grass behind the base was yours. Poeās and yours. Your spot to unwind after battles, to rest after training sessions, to be with each other when you needed peace.
That place had been your spot through the whole afternoon. Poe was resting - finally, and on Leiaās orders -, sitting by your side as he read something on his pad. The only noise came from BB-8ās rolling sounds against the grass and the distant murmurs of the landing bay; but there was no need to talk, your silent company was more than enough for him, not needing more on his day off than to know you were close without anyone interrupting.
BB-8 came and went in front of you, falling into the little game you always got into whenever there was time for it. The little droid had been thrilled the day you discovered the game; you pushed his body down the steep, letting him roll down to the bottom, and he would roll back up only to repeat it again, over and over again. The happiest beeps were heard every time he saw you walking up to them.
āYou know, if it tires you-ā Poe spoke from beside you without looking up from the report he was reading.
āAre you kidding me? It's actually quite relaxing.ā The smile in your lips as you answered gave it away.
āPushing the droid down a hill is relaxing?ā His eyebrow quirked up as his eyes did to find yours, a smirk playing on his lips once he found them. Poeās little heart could only take too much, doing flips and turns every time you played with BB-8 with a big smile on your face.
āThereās something about the push that justā¦ā your voice trailed off once BB-8 arrived back between your legs to be pushed again ā...it eases off tension.ā
A little chuckle reached your ears, a quick, stubbled-filled kiss was pressed against your cheek. āHeās very fond of you.ā His hand parked on your thigh, squeezing it before letting his fingers draw patterns on it absentmindedly.
Turning to look at Poe you find him back at his reading, the same smile from before still displayed on his face. You canāt help but linger on him for an extra couple of seconds, the shadows casted from the sun against the trees made his tanned skin glow, yesterdayās stubble was slowly turning into a beard, and even though he was reading something important you could see how his eyes were relaxed without the usual creases running along his forehead.
Thatās how it would have been: Poe and you, with BB-8 rolling on the grass of a Yavin IV garden without a war base breathing behind your necks. You were allowed to dream; maybe in a different universe, but always Poe and you.
BB-8 reaches the top again interrupting your thoughts as he nudges your feet, making Poe chuckle. āSorry Beebs.ā You push him again, maybe a little harder this time. āWhat are you laughing at?ā
āI told you BB is fond of you, now he demands your attention.ā
āWell, Iām fond of BBās owner.ā Grabbing his pad you toss it softly to the side āAnd I demand his attention.ā
Poe doesnāt even protest, his arms enveloping you in an instant and letting you cuddle against his side. The warmth of his touch crawled all the way up from your thighs, along your arms, until his hand reached the back of your head, tilting it to the side to kiss you deeply. Your back hits the grass with a soft thud, letting his hand explore your waist as his mouth tastes you. You canāt get enough of him, your fingers find the way up to the back of his head to tangle around his curls and all you feel is warm: his chest, his lips, his eyes exploring your face, the sun; it might all be the same thing as far as you are concerned.
āLetās stay here forever.ā He speaks, nose nudging against yours as he is not ready to stop touching you. That steep of grass had everything you and Poe could ever need, you have no doubts of that. āNo oneās ever here, we could probably last a whole week right here and no one would even see us.ā
āI donāt believe you one bit, Poe.ā Your lips reach up to his in a quick peck. āYou wouldnāt last more than one day without running back to work again.ā
He laughs against your lips before he lifts up to look at you again. āIām serious this time, I just want- HEY BUD WHAT THE HELL!ā
Poe suddenly launches over your body, landing on top of you as he pushes BB-8 away. Peeking over Poeās shoulder you see BB-8 spinning around, sliding down the hill with something that looks like a taser poking out of his body. Your game had completely slipped out of your mind the second Poeās arms had wrapped around you, and the angry droid was doing whatever it took to get your attention back.
āWas he about to electrocute me?ā Your voice is shocked, but you are still amused.
āYes, but donāt worry,ā Poe dipped back down to kiss you, āI saved you.ā
āOh, my hero, thank you.ā You said dramatically wrapping your hands around the base of his head. āWhat a terrible attack you saved me from.ā
āThat defected droid wonāt attack us ever again, mālady.ā BBās angry beeps sounded far, the droid completely giving up on continuing the game had decided to roll away from the scene. āSorry bud!ā Poe shouted. āIām kind of busy now.ā You were not sure if BB-8 heard the last part, since Poe's lips were already against yours once more, finding their spot for the rest of the evening.
āØāØāØ
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Pairing: Din Djarin x F!reader (Alpha/Omega/soulmates AU)
Wordcount: 4.2k
Warnings/Promises: (18+ only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) smut, talk of bruises and injuries, ABO elements, possessive Din, dirty talk
Summary: Din helps patch up your wounds, and you both talk about what he said to Toro.
A/N: itās britney, bitch.
Fandom: Sucker Punch (2011)
Pairing: Blue Jones/F!Reader
Rating:Ā Mature
Word Count: 1.5k
Summary:Ā You know enough, by now, to understand the warning signs when Blue is unhappy with a client.Ā But youāve suspected all evening that things might actually get heated this time.
Warnings:Ā Non-graphic violence, gun kink, non-graphic smut (unprotected piv)
A/N:Ā *wanders in after a month with no reader fics* Hey nerds hereās thisĀ I guess. This fic is kind of a spiritual sequel toĀ āLittle White Dove,ā but thereās no need to read that one first.
Cross-posted to AO3 here!
āā
You know enough, by now, to understand the warning signs when Blue is unhappy with a client. Heāll talk less, his smiles will get thinner, and somewhere along the way, he switches up their drink orderāasking you to substitute their high-quality liquor with the bottom shelf shit. Usually, the next step is booting them⦠sometimes temporarily, sometimes forever.
But youāve suspected all evening that things might actually get heated this time, because Blueās not getting pissed off out of nowhere tonight.
It was two nights ago that heād caught the discrepancy in the books and realized that one of the clubās investors was probably trying to screw the place out of money.
(Trying to screw Blue out of money. Arguably worse.)
Their business relationship is nearly a decade old, which is the only reason Blue started out easy. Thereās been something tragic ā but also bewitching ā about watching him lose his patience over the course of the meeting.
And then, all the way from the bar, you see him trace his finger over the rim of his glass: the cue to his goons a few tables over, letting them know that heāll be in need of their services.
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Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader
Word Count: 868
Warnings: None, fluff
Notes: I got the idea for this fic right as I was about to go to bed last night, and it wouldnāt leave me alone today
You werenāt expecting the panic that fills your body and floods your brain at the sight of Din beginning to tug his helmet off.
Heād given you his name. Heād given you bare hands and the feeling of the shape of his face and his body under the blanket of darkness. Youād never asked for any of it, and he gave it to you anyway. You never questioned his choices, because they were his.
Warnings: Frankies POV, mental health talk, exes, grief, slight pregnancy mention, divorce mention, dead parent(s), yearning - Like ao3, "creator chooses not to archive warnings."
A/N: *at the end* - This is fluffy though, I promise!
His first time at the VA and of course he gets lost.
The VA is low on the places Frankie wanted to be but he's looking for something good. Something with a goal.
Maybe finishing something could be a positive new start for him.
The last time he finished anything successfully was a mission but the missions were to kill or be killed.
And he doesnāt want to kill anymore. Heās tired.
Thatās why heās here now, trying to find where the rehabilitation and mental health services are.
When he came home from Colombia with the guys and Tomās body, his wife left. He asked about the baby but she said that was just a lie.
He broke.
There was never a baby.
Marisol confessed to lying about a pregnancy in hopes of getting him to stay with her and not go with the rest of the guys on Santiās ego mission but he was still the idiot that went anyway.
She hoped a baby would save their already rocky marriage but not even a pretend baby could keep him around.
The reality that he wouldnāt actually be a dad hurt the worst.The marriage was pretty much finished anyway but he had hope of something new and it was all a lie.
Thatās what tore his soul apart.
After a few months of sulking, Will offered him a pamphlet with some specific services along with numbers to call and an address to go to if calling wasnāt prefered. Frankie opted to go in person since he had nothing else to do currently and getting out of the house was much needed.
However, now that heās lost, he wishes he did just call instead.
āNeed some help?ā
Frankie spins around to see who the disembodied voice belongs to.
āOh uh, I-I sorry.ā He mutters, now embarassed when he notices the voice belongs to someone very attractive.
āI couldnāt help but notice you wandering for a bit.ā Your voice was delicate and kind. āI be happy to help if you need it.ā
He was mesmerized in an instant, admiring how your eyes held a sincerity in them. A beauty that he swore heād been familiar with before but apparently that was not the case. This felt brand new.
āWell this is embarrasing,ā he admitted,āYou can probably tell Iāve never been here before. I donāt know where to go.ā
You smile and god itās beautiful.
āIām happy to help you thenā¦umā
āOh uh Frankie!ā
āFrankie.ā You say it like you donāt want to forget it. āDo you know where you want to go?ā
Suddenly the butterflies that were forming disappeared and the embarrassment crept back in. Now heād have to tell you, the most gorgeous person heās ever seen, that he needs rehab and mental help.
You must have picked up on his sudden change in body language because you quickly redact your question and introduce yourself instead. Played it off as forgetfulness. Which unbeknownst to him, was true in a sense.
āHow about a tour instead?ā You offer. āThat way, I show you where everything is and when we pass what you were looking for, I donāt have to know and you can go back when youāre ready. I mean, if you arenāt in a rush or anything.ā
A shyness overcame you and Frankie found that pretty cute.
āI have all the time.ā
-
Frankie walked with you for what seemed like hours.
He found out that youāre just a volunteer, āfrom a military familyā you mentioned. You had taken an interest in being a small help to other veterans since you used to come here a lot with your own father when you were a late teen.
During the tour, you pointed out different departments and occasionally stopped to talk about the statues and display cases. Asking him questions when he made comments about anything he knew or recognized. All to which you seemed genuinely interested in.
Marisol never showed any interest in his past.
āSo you were a pilot?ā You interrupt the thought.
āUh yeah,ā the two of you stood in front of an aircraft display, āand I still wasā¦Until recently.ā
He can tell you want to know more but you donāt bother the itch to ask, which only makes him want to tell you more.
āHelicopters.ā
Heās staring at the display but he can feel you looking at him. By now itās probably apparent what heās here for but you still havenāt bothered to ask or even pressure him in the slightest.
āI was a helicopter pilotā¦ā
āFrankie. You donāt have to tell me if you donāt want-ā
āI do want to.ā He turns to you and meets your eyes.
Thereās a look in your eyes that heās never seen in a woman before.
Not even Marisol.
Fuck. Heās gotta stop comparing.
āShit. Iām sorry. You donāt want to hear my sob story.ā He starts to ramble but your hand gently touches his arm which makes him stop.
āCan I be honest here Frankie?ā
He nods.
āI was looking for an excuse to talk to you,ā your eyes shifted to your shoes, āThen I noticed you were lost so I took my chance. Iām sorry.ā
That took him by surprise.
āWait. Why are you sorry?ā
āBecauseā¦um⦠because as soon as we passed rehab and mental health services. I knew why you were here.ā
Shit.
There was an awkward silence as the two of you werenāt sure where to look but you not running off seemed like a good sign.
āCan I be honest now?ā It was his turn to ask.
āPlease.āĀ Your eyes shot back up to look at him.
āYou nailed it on what I was looking for but when you offered to help I was sort of taken back with how uh cute you are.ā
That made you smile again.
āAnd I know itās a long shot, and by no means am I going to avoid the help I need, but would you like to grab a coffee or tea later this week? A-as a new friend of course.ā
Frankie watches your eyes go wide and he feels like maybe what he said was a mistake.
āA friend date. I like that!ā
Frankie shifts in his boots. āI know rehab will be against any dating but a friend would be nice.ā
āDating!?ā You joke but he doesnāt catch it.
āFuck, Iām sorry I thought-ā
āIām joking Frankie.ā You calm him before laughing into the empty hallway. āThereās clearly a mutual attraction here but you are right about the program.ā you pause. āAnd I know we just met today but it says a lot that you take that very seriously despite,ā you gesture between the two of you,āwhatever this could be.ā
He nods, since thatās all he can manage to do.
He likes listening to you.
āI guess now thatās all out in the open⦠Iām free Friday?ā
āFriday is perfect.ā He says confidently.
It was the first time heās felt confident in a really long time.
-
Friday came quicker than expected and Frankie still couldnāt believe his absolute luck meeting you. Youād been so genuine and open, he didnāt even feel embarrassed about walking to the rehab office after you two set a date and time to meet up again.
The circumstances you met under were maybe not the best but even you had admitted to feeling the same pull toward him that he felt to you.
Now here he was, in a local cafe anxiously waiting for you to walk through the doors.
Ding, ding. The sound of the cafe door opening made his head tilt up to see if it was you.
It was.
There you were, the sun shining behind you with a ring that haloed you like an angel. When you noticed him, you nearly skipped to his table.
āFrankie! Hey!ā
āMy favorite tour guide!ā It just slipped out and you both seemed equally impressed and taken by it.
āI'm your favorite?ā You asked through a smirk while you set your things down.
āYou are, yes.ā
Even Frankie couldn't believe what he was saying. He had never been this bold with Marisol and here he was very openly flirting with you even though the two of you had made an agreement that this would not go past a friendship. At least not anytime soon.
āThis is going to be a hard year of just friendship isnāt it?ā
His eyebrows raised.
āDonāt play coy Frankie,ā you giggled, āyou dig me. I dig you. Weāre adults.ā
Frankie leaned back in his chair to laugh. āOkay fine. This will be a challenge but Iām determined to follow the rules of a year soooo how about we split a tab?ā
A sarcastic gasp leaves your lips and the two of you share more laughter.
This is the happiest heās been in a while and for it to be with someone so new⦠he really didnāt want to jeopardize it. No matter how much he may want to know you beyond that.
āSo tell me pilot. Whatās good here?ā
Oh man
This really was going to be a challenge.
-
The friend date went well. So well that the two of you made a habit of getting to know each other on more āfriend datesā. Coffee and tea turned into walks in the parks. Walks in the park turned into museum days.
The first month was the hardest. Frankie got to know you more and when you told him about your late father, he understood why you cared so much to take on the volunteer gig.
āHe couldnāt do it anymore. No one ever encouraged him to get help.ā
He remembers what you said. It broke his heart and he so desperately wanted to do more than just hug you that day.
Just like it broke your heart when he told you about his ex wife and the fake pregnancy. You held him like no partner or friend ever had when he started to cry. Neither of you cared that you were in public. In that moment, it was just you two.
That was only six months in but he knew he felt something more than just a mere fondness toward you. He knew it since the day he met you.
On month eight, the guys were beginning to think you were made up and crashed one of your park dates.
āHoly shit! Catās tour guide is REAL!ā
Benny had yelled so loud that anyone in earshot turned their heads toward you all. You took it in stride though and nothing about your demeanor said embarrassed.
There was a brief moment of self doubt in Frankie's mind when you took to Will rather quickly but he later found out on a game night that it was your shared older sibling mentalities that bonded you two in a genuine platonic way.
Next week will be a year and he isnāt exactly sure how to go about it. Frankie went through his program without a romantic or sexual relationship and you stayed his friend and cheerleader.
Part of him did feel like he sort of cheated by being your friend since the feelings he had for you went beyond friendly. However on a technical scale, the boundary never got crossed and even that was okayed by his sponsor and therapist.
Would he finally get to kiss you? Or would your feelings have changed?
Nothing about your attitude significantly changed but he still couldnāt read your mind.
What if along the way, you enjoyed what you two had become and decided not to explore previous feelingsā¦The last time you had openly expressed interest was on the first āfriend dateā but never again after a deal was made mutual.
The unknown terrified him.
-
āIsnāt today the big day?ā
Will was over at Frankieās. He said he needed to pick up his tool bag but the reality of it was he knew Frankie needed moral support just in case you didnāt reciprocate romantic feelings and the tool bag excuse was good enough.
āYeah, I just haven't-ā
Knock, knock. The sound surprised both men and Frankie froze while Will continued to sip at his coffee.
āSo are you going to get that?ā Will smirked over his mug.
Frankie wasnāt exactly sure what he expected when he opened the door but when he did you were quite the sight.
āHappy Friendiversary!ā In your hands were balloons and a small wrapped box. āOh, hey Will!ā
To this he turned to see Will grinning like an idiot at the end of the entryway. It didnāt even occur to him that he hadnāt said hello until you tapped his foot with one of your own.
āEarth to Frankie. Gonna let me in?ā
āRight! Sorry. The giant number one balloon kind of surprised me.ā
āDuh, thatās kind of the point of a surprise, now here take thisā you said, handing over the box and walking into his house looking for a place to set down the balloons.
You were pretty well acquainted with the space even though you had only visited a handful of times throughout the year. Figured it was less of a temptation if you two only met up in the house with other people or out in public if the two of you were alone.
āI didnāt know we were doing gifts. I would have gotten you something.ā
Tilting your head. āNo need. We didnāt plan anything special and I kind of thought this up last night anyway. All very last minute.ā
Frankie had almost forgotten that Will was still there but when he cleared his throat and set his mug down, he was prepared to announce his departure.
āIām gonna be heading out then. You guys enjoy your day!ā
He didnāt even give Frankie a chance to walk him out, he just grabbed his tool bag and practically bolted out the door. Finally leaving the two of you alone in his house.
Alone.
āSo did you plan a speech like I tried to or or am I just a little nuts?ā You blurt out.
Frankie couldnāt help but chuckle.
āI tried but nothing felt right.ā His eyes fell to the gift that he was still holding.
āI think this will be easier if you just open that by the way.ā
Youāve planted yourself in a dining chair, looking up at him. Seemingly just as nervous or anxious as he was.
Frankie didnāt want to ruin your pretty wrapping but you rolled your eyes when you caught him trying to be delicate so he opted for the tear method. Under the wrapping was a gift box and in the gift box, under tissue paper was a gently used journal.
He heard you take a deep sigh.
āIāve had that journal forever but I didnāt start writing in it until the day we met. The last entry is today's date.ā You paused. āEvery day, this past year I wrote about our days or what we talked about⦠and how I felt.ā
Frankie is ridden speechless but still waits for your nod to open the journal. On the first page he sees the date, some doodles and then what you said about that first dayā¦
Dear Diaryā¦
Journal?
Dear journal,
I met this guy at the VA today! His name is Frankie Morales and he is just about the cutest person I have ever met. I noticed him walking around for a while and since I have absolutely no self control when it comes to attractive men, I offered my help and he said YES!
He told me that heās a veteran (Dad would be proud.) and that he was a former pilot⦠Man, he looked so sad when he told me that he wasnāt a pilot anymore but I sensed he hadnāt really talked to anyone about it so I listened. BUT NOT TILL AFTER MY DUMBASS MADE A MOVE. Did I mention why he was even there? I didnāt. Okay he was lost trying to look for mental health and rehab services and so naturally my thirsty self offered to give him a tour of the building. Not my best look but I guess it sort of workedā¦ā¦ We have a scheduled meet up for coffee on Friday!
God, I really hope I donāt mess this up. He seemed so nice and genuine but I know he still needs help, so maybe a friendship could be encouraging. Maybe I could be the friend to Frankie that dad never had⦠jeez way to be a downer. Ugh how do I sign off on this?
Until next time journal
Frankie was processing your words and what a privilege it was that you were basically letting him in your head. He hadnāt even noticed that he was going to cry until a wet drop hit the paper.
āYou donāt have to read it all right now but maybe take a look at the last page?ā
So he did.
The date and time read today and this morning.
Holy shit journal!
Itās been a whole year. The longest year of my life. Iām so nervous to do this but I also have never felt more ready. Here goesā¦
Francisco Morales. Iām giving you this journal on our one year anniversary of knowing each other because I want you to know how much of an impact you have made in my life. I want you to know about the ways you made me feel seen when I never said it out loud . I want you to know about the exact day I⦠fell in love with you. Yes. you read that correctly. I know youāre going to look back at me with those gorgeous brown eyes when you read it.
Iām in love with you Frankie.
Youāve given me goosebumps since the day we met and I was so scared I'd screw you up along the way⦠Which btw, Iām sorry if at any point I made it seem like Iād friendzone you but that was me overthinking. Sorry!
Back to my confession⦠I guess all thatās left to say is⦠I hope the feeling is mutual. I have a good feeling, it still is.
Iām so proud of you Frankie and I canāt wait to say these words to you out loud finally.
āI knew you were going to look at me when you got to that part.ā
Frankie didnāt want to waste any more time. He was in love with you too and he not only needed you to know it, he needed you to feel it. There was an energy forming in him and all the pent up love he had been suppressing was finally coming to light.
āCan I kiss you?ā
āWhat?ā
āI need to kiss you.ā
āOf course you can, but Frank-ā
His lips are on your in an instant, cutting you off completely. Frankie holds your face in his palms so delicately, he can feel you relax into his touch. Your lips mold perfectly to his. The kiss is quick but itās enough.
You are enough.
He pulls away slightly to put his forehead to yours and his lips ghost over yours, breathing you in. No part of him wants to stop but he needs to finally say it too.
āI love you so much. God I love you so fucking much.ā
Neither of you cares to open your eyes. Itās been a year leading to this moment you both clearly hoped for and here it was finally happening.
Frankie leans in to taste you again but you speak.
āI love you too.ā
Finally.
When he opens his eyes he meets yours and in an instant he knows this is it.
A year ago Frankie never imagined heād meet his best friend and a year ago he never believed that his best friend would become the love of his life. A year of being clean. A year of friendship and year getting a second chance.
You were his second chance and now he had you in his arms with no plans of letting go any time soon.
Frankie was no longer lost. He found you.
--
A/N: I have personally spent lots of time in the VA and I've known people close to me that have followed the same protocol Frankie goes through in this. - If you know of a Vet that needs help. I hope you encourage them to get some or can act as a solid support system. Veterans are not fragile.