i'm becoming my own salvation

Fair enough. What can I say? You keep me entertained.

You should come over. Just to be sure you don’t forget how entertaining I am.

“Shit. Out of rum already. I could have sworn I just bought some the other day”.

That’s why you’re always supposed to have a bottle and a spare.

I’m living for it. Now impersonate Hoodie Allen for me.

More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.

Are you singing Sam Smith to me right now, Em?

Are you into it?

i feel that. i mean, the kids are great, but my parents can be a real drag.

I’m pretty sure parents are biologically programmed to be that way.

Sorry about that, man. At least I didn’t suggest like, drunk strip poker.

Wow, thanks, how generous of you. You’re a real humanitarian, Grayson.

And how well have those ideas worked for you the last few times, Emmett?

I’m not sure but you haven’t been complaining so far. 

You and I both if I stick with you, obviously.

Won’t you staaaaaaay with me, cause you’re all I neeeeeeed.

The end of the world? And when do you suppose that will be?

I don’t know but I’ll be fucking ready for it.

This vodka tastes like I’ll be texting you later.