waves of unyielding past
February 21, 1906
Jamie,
The years had passed and there were no days I forgot everything you have done for me. Until now, I imagine us at the picnic grove watching the sunset and feeling the cold breeze of Albania. I miss the days when I just have to look at your face and realized that my heart only belongs to you and no one else. And that I still remember the day I proposed to you.. And at the same day, I lost you. The 'yes' would have been the happiest right? But God is so selfish that He had taken an angel away from me on the day that we should all be happy. But then again as you said, trust Him. He will not give us situations we can not overcome. And now, I realized, that you might be true. After 43 years, it has always been you and this love that I am feeling forever. I realized that I had endured the warmest and the coldest breeze even without you physically. I had endured those years knowing and feeling that you are just around, my wife. Like air that I breathe. Can I make a confession? The morning before I lost you, I was picking yellow daffodils to make you a crown but then I saw these two swans lurking, hugging and disapparated eventually and realized that goodbyes may be difficult but it doesn't mean an end. And when I saw you waiting for me on a wheelchair, I knew, it was never an end but a beautiful realization that better days are coming. Because if losing you means better feeling for you, then I would have to choose to let God take you and be happy in His paradise rather than stay sick by my side because I won't let you do that either. I thank God for giving me you. And yes, I trust Him because I love you.
You and me forever, my wife.
Unending love,
Landon








