JustAHumanBean

No I suppose not flying Riften Guardsman

what a flex

why would you even challenge crazy frog

At your military wife’s house washing my hair with your sons calming bedtime baby shampoo

Where else can i get sentences like this

*slowly removes my heart-shaped sunglasses* i beg your fucking pardon

i hate applying for jobs because the employers are always like: do you enjoy working in a stressful environment???? do you strive for unobtainable standards of perfection???? are you good at dealing with people that make you feel extremely uncomfortable??? do you mind losing real hours of your life in order to make minimum wage?? are you a fan of capitalism??? do you love selling your soul just so you can afford to live???