So it Goes

I use humor to cover up the fact that I want to jump off a bridge

I love scenes where ppl are playing poker and they show someone’s cards and the music gets intense cause I have no idea how the fuck the game works like is this good or bad we just don’t know

You think you’re going to be hip and teen forever and then suddenly you find yourself drinking red wine and playing board games and lusting after men with beards 

*gets hit by a car* good

I fuckin hate people who are just like negative about the most random pointless shit? like one time I said “guesstimation’ and the person I was talkin to was like "UGH god don’t fucking say that I HATE when ppl say GUESSTIMATION like it’s not a REAL WORD it pisses me off just say ESTIMATION” I was like damn…..jesus…….calm fuckin down……..I’m GUESSTIMATING you need a fuckin mid-day nap you god damn baby

Date someone who will let you fall asleep in their car, drive the whole time, be okay with it, and avoid the holes so you sleep fine.

And curse the government for not using their taxes to fill the holes with more cement.

i need to get a real job so i can stop crying over expensive lingerie and start crying in expensive lingerie

dont ask me to hang out at 11pm what do you think this is…..i’m in bed i got no bra on i already exfoliated. its too late