entirely bonkers;

He didn’t respond for a while. The quiet wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t the quiet they had when they were together, just indulging each other’s presence. It was the quiet you experience while you’re in a hospital’s waiting room—piercing and frightening. At least, for her it was.

I just want to feel like I wasn’t just a choice. I want to feel like I am YOUR choice.

Have you ever read a book that’s so damn good you can’t stop yourself from reading it? It’s like your eyes endlessly drift through the pages, indulging every word that has been written and has been spilled, feeding them onto your soul and feeling every emotion throughout your body that you feel like you’re right there, inside the scene in the book, and not just sitting in your room reading. You feel so vibrant and so alive. The adrenaline rushes through your head and every tip of your being that you forget to stop at the punctuation marks and the words just keep coming and coming and coming and coming. It’s like they’ll never stop and the emotions are spilling out of you rooting from the pages of ink and no matter how hard you try you can’t stop them from escaping you. And you feel empty like you’re lost in an ocean you never knew existed. But you also feel full and awake like you’re running and running and running and running and running. You feel your legs giving out but you don’t want to stop. And after reading you feel like you’re drowning and your lungs have been deprived of air and your heart’s hammering so fast and so desperate. You’re desperate. Desperate desperate desperate desperate. Desperate to express yourself and everything you’re feeling but you can’t. There are so many words but nothing feels right. You can’t get hold of all the thoughts and your mind’s racing but you can’t think of anything at all. Everything’s a blur but also clear as a brook. I have never thought I’d feel so much and none at all just by reading a damn good book.

jgh from upd hay grabe pagod na pagod ako. Pumunta ako UHS para magpaayos ng medical ko tapos nakita ko yung friends ko sa CMC. Tapos nung pumunta ako public health ang susungit nung mga nurse jozkolhorde. Baka BV na sila. Hahahahaha. Tapos ayon inayos ko medical ko. Nung magpapatriage na kabang kaba ako tangina hahahaha tapos biglang 1pm pa daw di pa ako umabot sa cut off kainez tapos ayon pumunta muna ako sa vinzon’s kasi nandon HS friends ko. Eh dahil di ako marunong pumunta don nagtanong ako dun sa friend ko tapos sakay daw ako ikot. Ade sakay naman ako (goodgirl) tapos kabang kaba ako kasi di ko alam kung nasan na kame taena biglang lumabas sa campus ata yung ikot di ko alam basta ganon gulat na gulat ako pero syempre ayoko ipahalata c00l lang dapat kasi kaleds gerl na hahahahha tapos tinext ko kaklase ko puta di ko alam kung nasan na me yun pala lumalabas talaga ikot. Tapos ayon nakarating ako sa building ng home econ kasi nandon sila tapos kumain kami ay ako lang pala sa may shopping center tapos ayon bumalik na ako sa UHS tapos ayon putz nagtriage na me kinabahan ako pakiningshet. Sabi kasi nila hahawakan daw dede ganon tapos papahubarin bra’t panty lang matitira eh meron ako baka gusto nya makakita ng red sea juzkolhorde ahhahahahaa pagpasok ko sa clinic feeling ko lalabas puso ko sa dibdib ko tapos biglang nagchikahan lang kami nung doctor ok safe ba boobs ko ahahahhahahhahahaa kainis tapos umuwi na kame yehey tapos first time ko kumain sa mcdo magisa big girl na ako

Tbh, pakiramdam ko palagi na lang ako yung bumubuhay sa conversation. Hindi lang kay G pero kahit sa ibang tao. Parang palagi na lang ako yung nagoopen ng topic nagoopen ng pwedeng mapagusapan. Feeling ko parang ang annoying na nung dating. Why am I even trying so hard it doesn't make any sense to me. Na kahit ipamukha sakin na ayaw ako kausapin, puro seen lang ganun, nagsasalita pain ako. Why do I like to talk to you guys so much hays

Why do I feel like I'm constantly struggling for your attention?