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@emma-lives
So that GLOW episode 8
I'm aware I'm late on this but in case for the girls who haven't seen it, you should know there is an abortion seen. I just wanted to share because I wish someone would have told me. I'm good and strong and tough but i still struggle with a few stuff. This is not me talking down on the scene or anything. Just friendly warning before you dive into :)
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Youâre stronger than you know.đ
This is very well said. It's ok to give in to what you feel. It's ok to grieve and regret. It's part of the process to coping and finding peace.
For those struggling with regret
Itâs going to be ok. Youâre going to feel better one day. Iâm not saying itâs going to be easy, but give yourself time and stay strong. Youâll get there. Maybe you wonât be the same person as before, but youâll definitely be a better version of you. Youâll be stronger and courageous. If youâre wondering, God forgives you. If youâre wondering, your baby forgives you. The real question is, can YOU forgive yourself? You are your worst enemy. No one else will hate you or look down on you as you look down on yourself when you are angry or feel guilt. Whatever your reasons were, they were valid ones. Even if you regret your decisions, they were valid reasons. Maybe you were scared. Maybe you were unprepared. No one should blame you for acting the way you did. Itâs not your fault. You deserve to be happy again. If you are in good terms with your decision, stay strong. Donât let anyone shatter your spirits. This is YOUR life. Itâs YOUR journey. Who is making you hate it? Take back control! :)
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Mother's day
I know for some girls this day is a rough one. You start thinking about all the what if's and every time you see someone celebrating or see a kid hug their mom the emptiness in your heart seems more vast. But it can also be a nice holiday for you too. You've spend so much energy and effort already fighting yourself, your thoughts and trying to sort out exactly how you feel on a daily basis about the whole thing. If you want to celebrate, somewhere in the silence of your heart, as a way to comfort any maternal feelings your experience left, it's ok. You're allowed to. If you want to ignore the holiday all together, it's ok. You're allowed to. Always look out for yourself first. Always take care of you first. Stay strong. Be brave. Never give in to sadness. There are so many things to be happy about.
There isnât enough for us
I came across a blog that very passionately points out that there isnât enough people, books, blogs, experiences, etc shared about what we are going through and only a handful who can even help us with the grieving and healing process. When it comes to the topic of abortion itâs always divided into political stances. Or worse, in my opinion, its divided between religions hateful comments and seldom words of redemption. I donât think there is enough focus on US, only our actions. No one seems to care about how we are, how we are affected. Not all experiences are the same. Not everyone feels like us, and its great! They have their own support system. Where is ours? I donât have all the answers, but you can always count on me to listen to you. I made my peace. I feel Iâve finally healed. Iâm not saying what worked for me will work for you. Iâm just saying we can figure it out. Donât give up. Donât be discouraged. Our community might be small but we have each other. Who else can understand the pain and the desperate need for peace than us? We are a family =)
You matter so much
Iâm not a very good blogger. Iâm not very tech savvy. I respond late sometimes. I donât always get notifications for one reason or another. Sometimes I donât even know what to say to you guys. But donât give up on me. I wonât ever give up on you or abandon you. You guys really keep me up at night when I canât reach you or when I donât hear from you. I just want to know that you are ok. Iâm going to be better. Iâm going to learn everything there is so that I donât miss any messages from you all. You guys matter so much to me. I will make this up to you all.
It'll be a year since my abortion on Sunday. I watch a baby (who would be a year older than mine) and sometimes it's hard but it gives me enough time with a baby to still be happy I don't have my own. I didn't know I was pregnant until 17 weeks and that's also when I found out I have RH- blood, my bf and I couldn't have a child and made the right choice. I am scared (despite being on the implant bc) that I will get pregnant soon again. I would feel guilty having this one and not the other.
Dear Anonymous,
Those are difficult emotions to sort out.. Listen, your decision was well thought out. It wasnât an easy one but you thought long and hard and I donât doubt struggled and agonized trying to reach a decision and then going through with it. It must have meant a lot for you to not only make a decision that put your best interest but your little one. Even if you were to have regret it, I think in your heart you know that you were the only who could have made the best choice. You shouldnât be so hard on yourself. Look at what youâve proven: that you are a responsible and caring person, especially when it came to deciding two futures. Itâs not wrong to feel guilty or regret. Those are things that, no matter how convinced we are that we did the right thing, creep in from time to time. Youâre going to have good days and bad days. Itâs ok. Because the bad days end too. And your life picks right back up and you keep moving forward with your goals and dreams and plans. Your situation is different now than it was before. Leave the past where it should be, behind you. You donât have to erase anything from your memory but donât bring it with you. If you were to get pregnant you are going to asses the situation as things are NOW. I just donât see you punishing yourself just because things were different back then whether your financial situation was inadequate for a child, maturity level, emotional stability, relationship status, whatever it was. That was the situation then that drove you to go through with great courage to make that decision. You might feel guilty at first and thatâs ok. But I really believe you will realize that no matter how much you would want to change things itâs only because things are better NOW. If you feel guilty itâs only because you see how things are better RIGHT NOW and you can truly choose to keep your little one. I think a good way to look at it would be to feel grateful that you can choose to keep a baby than to lament not having the same opportunity back then. Because it means that things are getting better :) you have more control of your life and circumstance that even allow you to make these choices! Rejoice if that is what happens! You can finally give this little one the chance you couldnât give the other. And itâs not your fault that you couldnât give the other little one the same opportunity. ITâS NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes we really donât have the control to our circumstance that allow us the luxury to see pregnancies full term⌠And thatâs why we always do our best to make decisions that will benefit two futures. Hope you find peace and acceptance of whatever life brings you :)
It'll be a year since my abortion on Sunday. I watch a baby (who would be a year older than mine) and sometimes it's hard but it gives me enough time with a baby to still be happy I don't have my own. I didn't know I was pregnant until 17 weeks and that's also when I found out I have RH- blood, my bf and I couldn't have a child and made the right choice. I am scared (despite being on the implant bc) that I will get pregnant soon again. I would feel guilty having this one and not the other.
Dear Anonymous,
Those are difficult emotions to sort out.. Listen, your decision was well thought out. It wasnât an easy one but you thought long and hard and I donât doubt struggled and agonized trying to reach a decision and then going through with it. It must have meant a lot for you to not only make a decision that put your best interest but your little one. Even if you were to have regret it, I think in your heart you know that you were the only who could have made the best choice. You shouldnât be so hard on yourself. Look at what youâve proven: that you are a responsible and caring person, especially when it came to deciding two futures. Itâs not wrong to feel guilty or regret. Those are things that, no matter how convinced we are that we did the right thing, creep in from time to time. Youâre going to have good days and bad days. Itâs ok. Because the bad days end too. And your life picks right back up and you keep moving forward with your goals and dreams and plans. Your situation is different now than it was before. Leave the past where it should be, behind you. You donât have to erase anything from your memory but donât bring it with you. If you were to get pregnant you are going to asses the situation as things are NOW. I just donât see you punishing yourself just because things were different back then whether your financial situation was inadequate for a child, maturity level, emotional stability, relationship status, whatever it was. That was the situation then that drove you to go through with great courage to make that decision. You might feel guilty at first and thatâs ok. But I really believe you will realize that no matter how much you would want to change things itâs only because things are better NOW. If you feel guilty itâs only because you see how things are better RIGHT NOW and you can truly choose to keep your little one. I think a good way to look at it would be to feel grateful that you can choose to keep a baby than to lament not having the same opportunity back then. Because it means that things are getting better :) you have more control of your life and circumstance that even allow you to make these choices! Rejoice if that is what happens! You can finally give this little one the chance you couldnât give the other. And itâs not your fault that you couldnât give the other little one the same opportunity. ITâS NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes we really donât have the control to our circumstance that allow us the luxury to see pregnancies full term⌠And thatâs why we always do our best to make decisions that will benefit two futures. Hope you find peace and acceptance of whatever life brings you :)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I went through an abortion this time last year, it will be one year tomorrow. For a long time I was in denial of any negative feelings because I went through it in secret mostly by myself and so I couldn't show any sign of weakness. Its all catching up with me now, and I am feeling maternal again - this time I'm in a better position but I feel I don't deserve to have a baby or if I do get pregnant the people who helped me through it will think it's too soon. Its all overwhelming me now.
I thought I had answered this but I guess not. Iâm so sorry for the delay. You can always come off anon or kik me on emmalivesx and everything will remain confidential.Â
Iâm really sorry you are going through this. I know itâs really tough but I also know that you can conquer anything. Donât ever forget that the decision you took was a very difficult one and very well though out. Your decision came from thinking about what would be best for your little one. Only you could have taken the best decision for them and for yourself. That is love. You are always deserving of love when you give love like that. Trust me, you are very deserving of being a mom when you feel you are ready. But make sure first if there were any negative feelings that were left behind by the experience that your soul detoxes of that poison first. Donât be afraid to feel everything your heart has concealed for that year. It will hurt and some day it feels like you canât go on, but when morning comes youâll see that youâre a lot stronger than you think. It just your heart desperately searching for peace or maybe forgiveness. Whatever the case is, you are worthy of it. You deserve it. And donât worry too much about the people who helped you out. If they helped you out itâs because they love you and want you to be happy. While they may still mantain their own opinions of your personal life, in the end their love will always be stronger than any differences of opinions. And to be honest, someone will always have something to say, both negative and positive so my best advice is to always live they way you thin is best for you. Itâs usually better to regret something you did than something you didnât do. Best wishes! Good luck and stay strong! =)
I went through an abortion this time last year, it will be one year tomorrow. For a long time I was in denial of any negative feelings because I went through it in secret mostly by myself and so I couldn't show any sign of weakness. Its all catching up with me now, and I am feeling maternal again - this time I'm in a better position but I feel I don't deserve to have a baby or if I do get pregnant the people who helped me through it will think it's too soon. Its all overwhelming me now.
I thought I had answered this but I guess not. Iâm so sorry for the delay. You can always come off anon or kik me on emmalivesx and everything will remain confidential.Â
Iâm really sorry you are going through this. I know itâs really tough but I also know that you can conquer anything. Donât ever forget that the decision you took was a very difficult one and very well though out. Your decision came from thinking about what would be best for your little one. Only you could have taken the best decision for them and for yourself. That is love. You are always deserving of love when you give love like that. Trust me, you are very deserving of being a mom when you feel you are ready. But make sure first if there were any negative feelings that were left behind by the experience that your soul detoxes of that poison first. Donât be afraid to feel everything your heart has concealed for that year. It will hurt and some day it feels like you canât go on, but when morning comes youâll see that youâre a lot stronger than you think. It just your heart desperately searching for peace or maybe forgiveness. Whatever the case is, you are worthy of it. You deserve it. And donât worry too much about the people who helped you out. If they helped you out itâs because they love you and want you to be happy. While they may still mantain their own opinions of your personal life, in the end their love will always be stronger than any differences of opinions. And to be honest, someone will always have something to say, both negative and positive so my best advice is to always live they way you thin is best for you. Itâs usually better to regret something you did than something you didnât do. Best wishes! Good luck and stay strong! =)
Peace
Peace be with you. Inner peace. The kind that releases the breath you keep holding on to every time you think about It. The kind that soothes your soul every time you desperately try to grasp time and want to go back and change everything. The type of peace that wipes away your tears late at night when it seems you wonât make it to the morning. May peace be with you, the kind that accepts everything that has happened and still lets you feel so damn happy youâre alive every morning. Let your soul detox of all the poison it has absorbed since then.Â
Donât be afraid to feel.
Donât be afraid to let go.
The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.
Yasmin Mogahed (via suspend)
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emma-lives
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Scars. A sign that you had been hurt. A sign that you had healed.
Benjamin Alire Såenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via wnq-writers) emma-lives (via dwarriorprincess)
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I don't know the source to this but it describes the loss of a baby or child. The difficult part is always the parents staying behind to grieve while the little one rejoices and is being taken care of until they meet again.
Scars. A sign that you had been hurt. A sign that you had healed.
Benjamin Alire Såenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (via wnq-writers) emma-lives (via dwarriorprincess)
