take my hand

however, it wasn't meant to be.

to remedy that, i vow to tell my future children about you. i will tell them about that little boy from wolverhampton who auditioned for x factor, was rejected, but knew that he destined for more. how you tried again and was put in a boyband in 2010. i will tell them how you rose from the bottom of the stairs to the top of the world. i will tell them how you conquered the world alongside your brothers.

you will live on in the stories we tell the next generation. no one will ever forget who you were, liam. your legacy will live on. we will make sure of it.

someday, when remembering you is no longer painful, i aspire to be able to look at this period of my life with fondness. despite this pain of losing you, i realized the impact that you 5 boys have made in my life. i've always said you guys saved my life but losing you has put that statement into perspective. i firmly believe that i wouldn't be where i am today had i not clicked on those "funny moments of one direction" compilations on youtube. you changed the trajectory of my personhood and made me believe that there was more to aspire for.

if there is such a thing as reincarnation, i fervently pray that i be reincarnated alongside you. i hope in that lifetime, i get to see you grow old and achieve what you deserve-- the success that you never got to see in this lifetime.

i know i have no other choice but to trust my preparation but even that is futile whenever i think i am not smart enough to wade through this unscathed.

i am the child of my mother and father, and i have worked way too hard for this to give up now. however, in the stillness of nights, a silent voice whispers-- "what if it is not for you... yet?"

the roaring doubt is unforgiving. it consumes me. it is me.

but i have to brave through. i have to see this till the end.

whether it be happiness or lessons learned i meet in the finish line, i pray i have the grace to accept the will of the wind.

failure is not an option but the options are not mine to pick. all i can do is work hard, believe, and trust that the outcome will be in accordance with His plan for me.

Thy will be done. I will accept whatever it is that may come my way. 2025 has been a shit-show but there is a little light peeking from the other side of the tunnel and I really pray it is only uphill from here.

Your girl is now a LAWYER! Licensed and practicing.

It's been hard to wade through the practice without the guidance of my father. However, I am reminded EVERY DAY of the big shoes he left that I have to find a way to fill. I see him in his batchmates who I see argue in court, I see him in the random small stories I hear of his kindness , I see him whenever I use his car that he worked so hard for, I see him when I look in the mirror and realize how far I've come and how much my parents gave up so that my path would be without obstacles.

I'm still learning. Heck, I don't think I'll ever stop learning. However, I know that an angel is watching over me every single day of my life.

It's so hard to continue a dream when the one person you dreamed it with has gone. However, we continue because they didn't pave our way for us to only come this far.

I love you so much, papa. I am now a lawyer and that is truly, truly because of you and mama. It kills me that you are not here with me today, however, I am comforted by the fact that you are in Heaven now with all the angels.

🙋‍♀️ me! me! me! 🙋‍♀️

i can think of a probable one you've been to... back in 2018... at msg... let me just-

does that jog your memory or not really? (x x) mmm, maybe, a clip helps more?

i know i have no other choice but to trust my preparation but even that is futile whenever i think i am not smart enough to wade through this unscathed.

i am the child of my mother and father, and i have worked way too hard for this to give up now. however, in the stillness of nights, a silent voice whispers-- "what if it is not for you... yet?"

the roaring doubt is unforgiving. it consumes me. it is me.

but i have to brave through. i have to see this till the end.

whether it be happiness or lessons learned i meet in the finish line, i pray i have the grace to accept the will of the wind.

failure is not an option but the options are not mine to pick. all i can do is work hard, believe, and trust that the outcome will be in accordance with His plan for me.

Thy will be done. I will accept whatever it is that may come my way. 2025 has been a shit-show but there is a little light peeking from the other side of the tunnel and I really pray it is only uphill from here.

Louis and Zayn playing darts together at a bar in Franklin, Tennessee. (7 September 2025)