the blessed unrest.

we were stupid to jump

in the ocean separating us,

remember how i'd fly to you?

and i can't talk to you when you're like this

staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town -

i’m new york city -

i still do it for you, babe.

they all warned us about times like this;

they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith, blind faith.

but we might just get away with it -

religion's in your lips

even if it's a false god,

we'd still worship.

we might just get away with it -

the altar is my hips

even if it's a false god,

we'd still worship this love.

“trying to think of my heart as an ocean where there's room enough for things

to come up to the top; i’m counting on it sinking down again.

my heart got caught on your sleeve - i need it, please give it back to me.

my heart got caught on your sleeve; please give it back to me, please give it back to me.

smoked another cigarette 'cause even though i quit i'll do about just anything to pacify my own torment.

the moon is full and i can hear him laughing as he plays these tricks on me,

almost like he's cheering on my dueling joy and agony.

my heart got caught on your sleeve - i need it, please bring it back to me.”

and

“i am lost in my own home; i am lost.

the guilt of just a thought can break your heart.

sometimes wish we never met 'cause now i fear the best -

oh, i’m captive in my thoughts, surely this must be a test.

i hardly know your voice and find that i am hanging on your every word, burned inside my brain

and i must stop until we meet again.

my heart got caught on your sleeve - i need it, please bring it back to me.

my heart got caught on your sleeve; please give it back to me, please give it back to me. please, please.”

thinking a lot about the role of mothers and motherhood in a league of their own and specifically how max and carson each negotiate their mothers’ and families’ legacies.

max sees the life that her mother has planned for her - the church, the salon, the entrepreneurial spirit, and the sense of pragmatism - and feels a mixed sense of fear, anger, confused gratitude, guilt, and ultimately rejection and invisibility.

and then bert shows her this entirely different life that is possible, with these shadows and edges that remind her of her mother but a warmth and comfort that she’s always craved. and, bert shows her this previously unfathomable life lived with true authenticity.

carson fears, deep down, that her destiny might be to follow in her mother’s footsteps - to run away and to destroy her husband in the process. but in some ways, i have wondered if she was also a possibility model - even if it ruined her family, she knew it was an option to run.

and her resistance to the idea of becoming a mother was so subversive in its own right, even before greta changed her world. within the box of being a small-town housewife in idaho in the late 30s/early 40s, that must be among the most radical things one can do.

and then you have maybelle, a mother and in many ways a mother to the peaches, but also ally to her queer teammates perhaps without truly knowing it. and clance, who clearly admires toni and sees her as a lighthouse as she prepares navigates marriage and pregnancy.

and you have edgar, who deeply respects his wife and also adores his daughter, caught in the middle of these two powerful women and trying to sort out who he is going to be for each of them as they navigate their dynamic. and carson’s father, who is merely absent.