Emily Chang Likes

“Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another--physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion.” ― Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye “The systematic looting of language can be recognized by the tendency of its users to forgo its nuanced, complex, mid-wifery properties for menace and subjugation. Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge. Whether it is obscuring state language or the faux-language of mindless media; whether it is the proud but calcified language of the academy or the commodity driven language of science; whether it is the malign language of law-without-ethics, or language designed for the estrangement of minorities, hiding its racist plunder in its literary cheek - it must be rejected, altered and exposed. It is the language that drinks blood, laps vulnerabilities, tucks its fascist boots under crinolines of respectability and patriotism as it moves relentlessly toward the bottom line and the bottomed-out mind. Sexist language, racist language, theistic language - all are typical of the policing languages of mastery, and cannot, do not permit new knowledge or encourage the mutual exchange of ideas. - Toni Morrison, Nobel Lecture, 1993

Suggestive v. systematic thinking (Essays in Idleness, xxvi)

Suggestive = Kenko. May have contradictions. Recognizes that the opposite of a great truth is also true. (Dalio)

Systematic = computer programmer.

Kenko, and writers in general, as tastemakers. As articulators of the cultural milieu, spokespeople. (Essays in Idleness, xxvi)

I laughed: “I could sit forever with a ma, provided that what he said did not grate on my ears, that he had charm, and that he did not talk very much.” (ibid, 4)

“The holy man of Kume lost his magic powers [of flight] after noticing the whiteness of the legs of a girl who was washing clothes; this was quite understandable, considering that the glowing plumpness of her arms, legs, and flesh owed nothing to artifice.” (ibid, 9)

Kenko is still just a stupid boy, though. LOL - not me (in the long run, anyway): “When a woman somehow--perhaps unintentionally--captures a man’s heart she is generally unable to sleep peacefully. She will not hesitate to subject herself to hardships, and will even endure cheerfully what she would normally find intolerable, all because love means so much to her.” (ibid, 9)

On travel: “Anything good--even the possessions you have brought along with you--seems better, and anyone you meet with artistic talent or handsome features seems more impressive than he usually would.” (ibid, 17)

Reading to help me think -- an intellectual intercourse.

we cannot ask others to manage our feelings of insecurity, jealousy, anxiety, fear, anger, toxicity, defensiveness;

They understand that real, healthy love is in the every day little shit — remembering the dry cleaning; a hug; a word of encouragement before the big meeting 

There is, of course, a real benefit of trying new things and going to new places as a couple — but only if done with a calm heart, and never with the anxious frenzy to “do something!”