Vex: Do you think that undead girl with a connection to Delilah Briarwood still lives in our walls?
Percy: ... THE FUCKING WHAT?
trying on a metaphor

blake kathryn
DEAR READER
Three Goblin Art

if i look back, i am lost

@theartofmadeline
todays bird
noise dept.
wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty

shark vs the universe
d e v o n

Janaina Medeiros
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
taylor price
almost home
Xuebing Du

seen from United States

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@embarrassinglyfondoffinland
Vex: Do you think that undead girl with a connection to Delilah Briarwood still lives in our walls?
Percy: ... THE FUCKING WHAT?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.
happy winter solstice
the hole being dead thing
today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring
Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?
we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation
So after extensive interrogation I have an update:
my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.
the truth is actually weirder
she’s aware dandelions look like this
she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions
she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?
she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.
gosh I enjoy this website
For comparison, this is a daffodil
See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.
i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)
Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???
This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.
They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!
This is a marigold:
….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I stream at http://twitch.tv/adhd_alien/ You can pre-order my book at http://adhd-alien.com/ or most book stores!
gotta be a term that isn't the dunning Krueger effect but is a kind of similar idea where the more deep scientists get into their topic and the more exhausted they get, the more likely they are to find stupid ways to describe things
this post brought to you by a bunch of coral specialists at the end of a workshop voting to define coral, a complex animal, as "a rock with problems"
Galaxy Quest (1999) dir. Dean Parisot
#rickman has the tragic bearing of a man aware that there’s a fanlore page devoted entirely to his character’s dick #this is a dude who has been asked to autograph zines with names like “purple mountain majesties” #he gives iconic performances of shakespeare knowing 20% of his audience is thinking about the mak'tar triple prostate hypothesis #galaxy quest (via @deadpanwalking)
god it’s so sad living in an allocentric world. There are so many relationships that are so complex and nuanced that are all put under the label of ‘romantic’ and immediately all the intrigue is taken from it. Like don’t you realize that these relations are actually ENHANCED by the fact that they are not romantic or sexual?
NOOO DONT PUT THE CHARACTERS IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP YOURE TAKING OFF THE SEASONING!!!!
"I would do anything for you; I would cross worlds for you; I would kill for you; I would die for you" etc in fictional romance= tired and expected
from a boss to their employee= what the fuck is happening there

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req'd by @captainswan618
fascinating.... and you're telling me people experience this?
text: I believe this phenomenon is called "allosexuality"
where to upgrade social battery. where to buy larger social battery. how to attach multiple social batteries. how to hang out with all your friends without getting tired. how to hang out with everyone you wanna hang out with without burning out. infinite social energy hack. nap tips
social battery rapid charger. social battery usable while plugged in. how to love everyone you love
is it normal for social battery to look like this
mye social battery is pillow because im so sleepy
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every time
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!
STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesn’t have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
You gotta see this house. It's not for sale, but it's for rent for $8,500mo. (minimum 12 mo. lease) 4bds, 3ba, 3,100sqft, cats OK.
You know the meme where you go "the name of [noun with a diminutive] implies the existence of [a hypothetical HUGE form of same thing, but without the diminutive]" like "existence of dorito implies the existence of THE DORO" and it's a huge-ass corn chip the size of a wheel of cheese?
Well, in finnish, the word for moth is "yökkönen", from "yö" (night), the suffix "-kko/kkö" which has many purposes but one of them is to change any word into "person involved with doing something with the root word", and the dininutive "-nen". So the name of moth is "little night creature".
But coming back to the diminutive meme, the existence of yökkönen would imply the existence of yökkö, the big (or at least medium-sized, or non-small) night creature. Through a happenstance completely unrelated to moths or other insects, "yökkö" is the finnish vernacular word for a night shift nurse.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'
Brandon Sanderson: What's the difference between Gollum and Sauron?
OP: Skill issue.
Brandon Sanderson:
What’s the difference between
Gollum and Sauron?
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
It’s so unfair i don’t get to see where evolution will go in 50 million years
crab
Crustaceans: Crab
Mammals: Weasel
Plants: Tree
Amphibians & Reptiles: Unchanged because they are perfect
Birds: 360° around back to dinosaurs
Fungi: I shan't speculate on the affairs of gods