Em Bee

I am a Jew. My ancestors are Lithuanian, Polish and Belarussian Jews. My dad's Biological mom is a Jew, likely orthodox. His adopted grandma was a Brooklyn born girl with a thick, Lithuanian accent. Ethnically, there is no denying that I am Jewish.

I spent most of my years in young childhood worshiping through Jusaism without even realizing. I knew all the stories of the holidays by heart. I could sing the Hebrew Alphabet. I prayed for bread and wine on the Sabbath. I loved my spiritual way of life. I love practicing Judaism, but the whole time I was a dedicated Jew, I thought I was a Christian. I believed in Santa, went on easter egg hunts, and attended my cousin's "communion". Yet I had no Idea what was going on. I didn't know who Jesus was, I'd never been in a church, I'd never even said a Christian prayer. Hell, I still can't spell Christian without autocorrect yelling at me. I ways today years old (fifteen, almost sixteen) when I realized, I WAS A JEW. I wasn't a Christian at all!

For some reason after my great aunt died, I was determined to start attending mass so that I could get into heaven. I was a child of god for years, and even got baptized at the age of nine. I grew to hate church, however, and completely lost my religion by the end of eight grade. I became a witch, and still am one. I always knew I was ethnically Jew, and could affirm that thought by looking in the mirror, but I never stopped to think about converting back to Judaism.

Today, I think I'm to far gone to worship Judaism again. I've spent so many years resisting God, that I don't know if I even want to follow that path again. I do however appreciate the Torah and Jewish teachings, and am so glad that I was able to embrace my Judaism.

We can buy gummy frogs/ because you're "gluten-free"/ so I'll resist the two for one sale/ even though my ancestors will spin in their graves/ for you.

And I'll hold you're hand crossing/ the street, so nothing can separate us/ not even sudden death.

Listen closely and lean/ closely as you listen/ for I am giving you my daisy./ I know we’ve grown old/ it should be a rose/ but I’m giving you my daisy.

Put it in a vase but/ in a room only for you/ and fill it with water to/ let my daisy bloom./ When it withers and dies/ be patient and take the seeds/ toss them in your garden/ so your garden can toss them back/ out as brand new daisies./ You’ll never forget me, you’ll/ learn for experience, you’ll/ never be afraid to say no.