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unplaces

S Eddy St, Pecos, Texas.

cetaceous

The Dangote Refinery, Lagos, Nigeria the refinery is a major supplier of jet fuel to Europe and the UK image credit: Sodiq Adelakun / Reuters

If i had someone in my life who genuinely cared about my music or my musicality in general i'd be a very, very rich man

#personal txt

I wish I could crawl into someplace small and far away from the world so I could be safe.

#personal txt

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The sheer magnitude and frequency of my own emotions exhausts me beyond all reason. I'm so tired of it. There's no point anymore. I'm an adult I can't keep having nervous breakdowns over the smallest, stupidest shit. I wish i could get a goddamn lobotomy. 🫩

#personal txt

cetaceous

Old Soviet Radar Station, Karadag, Crimea the station is located on the Crimean Peninsula and recognized as a protected area by both Russia and Ukraine image credit: Vyacheslav Argenberg Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license via: Wikimedia Commons

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The Tianwan Mudflat Photovoltaic Demonstration Project Lianyungang, Jiangsu Province, China image credit: Costfoto / NurPhoto / Shutterstock

cetaceous

An Oil Pumpjack on Lake Maracaibo in Cabimas, Venezuela image credit: Gaby Oraa / Bloomberg

Also an update on school, I'm going to another different school to study electrical components of cars. Why? I don't know. I don't know why I do anything anymore lawl. I just jump from one thing to the next and reinvent myself every time. It's just pathetic and embarrassing to be so resistant to commitment.

I was told once that it's a good and cool thing how I pursue many different interests, but this person had the biggest rose colored glasses on. Everything I did was great to them and that was no helpful to me.

I don't know. I just have to change. If I don't, my urge to die just gets stronger.

I guess we'll see how my summer classes go. I'm going to try to commit to getting this certificate. Unlike my other attempts, I have a mentor this time.

#personal txt

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strangledplanet

I really hate meeting new people and also being nuts. When is the right time to tell someone you have problems? The default assumption is that I can handle any amount/type of interaction, but I'm really not available that much. It's a chore to be saying "I'm not feeling well, maybe we can hang out in a couple days" for the tenth time in a row.

Because a couple days pass.. And it still feels like everything is too much to handle. And I must disappear again. Without context I look like a flake.

One of my friends says I make myself "unapproachable" (to new people) but what else can I do? I'd rather people only saw me when I'm "normal." When my sense of humor is intact, when I can focus, when I'm not so aggressive. I don't want to explain myself.

These days I guess I just sacrifice my character for the sake of normalcy. But I really can't decide what's worse: Being considered unapproachable, unreliable, and aloof, or be considered the neurotic, schizo guy?

The Waiting

Industry

Fort Lawrence Road

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

mostlythemarsh

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