Trying to get away from abusive parents, please read/share?
My name is Lorraine. I’m 23. I’ve been fighting depression and social anxiety for a while. I’ve been trying to get through everything by myself, with only the emotional support of my partner, Amandi, and my small circle of close friends. But lately, things have taken a turn for the worse and I feel like I’ve hit a dead end.
My goal in life is just to be able to live with the person I love, calmly, quietly, without stress. That isn’t to say I don’t want to work, but..
My current job is.. well, terrible for me in almost every way. I’m not very strong physically, so I’m constantly in pain. My coworkers expect so much of me that I can’t give because of my physical and hereditary conditions. I’ve been working there for three, going on four years and it’s been.. hell for the most part. Sometimes things calm down but then something else happens and I feel like death for weeks or months. In those situations, I get incredibly anxious and nervous and sometimes I miss work because I’m at home having anxiety attacks. Which makes my coworkers get angry at me and it’s just.. an endless cycle. On top of that, I don’t get that many hours, I have all of summer off, and the pay isn’t nearly enough per hour to save for a house or move out. Which brings me to my next point: my situation at home.
If it wasn’t for this, I would be able to deal, at least emotionally. But lately things have been getting worse. I hate publicizing this sort of thing because I love my mom and it’s very personal but I don’t know what else to do at this point. My mother is abusive due to her own mental illnesses. It’s something that’s tolerable sometimes but gets worse other times. She decides when to take her meds, so it can come out of nowhere. I love her, but I just can’t take this anymore. She’s manipulative and doesn’t realize it.. Unfortunately she isn’t the only problem. There have been a lot of tensions between my mom and my partner’s lately because they both seem to think the worst of each other, even though they’re really similar.
We both want to become independent and move away from them. Making money ourselves and still seeing each other is very dependent on their cooperation (we live an hour away and neither of us can drive) which they can revoke whenever they see fit. We’re constantly treated like children at 23 years old, yet they refuse to help us take our independence.. because they don’t really want that.
I want to get another job but my social anxiety just doesn’t let me. The idea of interviews scares me so much. I was homeschooled during middle to high because of bullying, and then took my GED. Although I’d really love to be able to go to college, I don’t have the money or knowledge. My mom didn’t really teach me much because I was uncooperative as a child and I could never focus. I used most of my pell grant to go to a technical school that I now work at. They basically handed me the job when I finished because they needed the statistics that say their former students were getting jobs.
I feel like we’re stuck.. like things will stay this way forever until someone passes away.
I would really appreciate if you could support us through RedBubble, or donate to my Paypal. (I can do simple custom graphics like on my RB account too, just ask!) If you don’t have anything to spare, just sharing this post or sending me advice would also be incredibly appreciated, especially if you’ve gone through something similar.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! Have a good day. ♥
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romaincrisis
