Hating someone feels disturbingly similar to being in love with them. Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner;they are visceral. Your stomach twists at the thought of that person. Your blood rushes to your cheeks when someone mentions their name, the heart in your chest beats heavy and bright, nearly visible through your flesh and clothes. Every interaction spikes your blood with a dangerous kind of adrenaline, your body is barely under your control. You’re consumed, and it scares you.

That’s exactly how you felt about Kim Taehyung.

You can’t quite explain it, but even though you didn’t fancy him all too much, there was a part of you that wanted him near you. The mere mention of his name made your blood boil. Especially after that night.

You’d never felt this way about a person before. One minute you wanted to kill him the other you wanted to fuck him. Was there something wrong with you?

Out of all people, why him?

The thing that had been bothering you lately, the question that has been popping up in your head ever since that day;how did he feel about you?

He hasn’t contacted once. Not a single message, and you knew he could get your number if he wanted to, the thing is, he didn’t want to. If he wanted to communicate somehow, he would have, and that just confirms the thought that has been hiding in the back of your brain, too ashamed to come out because of how embarrassing it would be to admit to such a thing to yourself;that Taehyung only used you for his own pleasure. That he didn’t actually care about you, but only about what you did together. You were another victim that fell for him, and that frustrated you.

“Yo are you even listening to me?” Jin’s voice woke you up from your daydreaming. It was the first day of college, Jin was trying to explain accurately every professor’s background and personality. It was sweet of him to offer to help you out, but you didn’t really need it, especially since you were having an entire inner monologue about how much you fucked up things with Kim Taehyung before the semester even started. “Repeat what I just said” he ordered

“I’ve got to be honest…” you began, but before you could even come up with a poor excuse as to why you had been staring at the empty space for what was probably 15 minutes, Jin interrupted you.

“You weren’t even listening to me!” He whined

“Sorry, I have quite the busy mind” you chuckled and pushed his shoulder hoping he would brush this whole thing away and not ask any questions. “it’s almost 10, I’ve got to go”

•••

It almost felt like a dream when you took your first step into Hashfield college. You thought you were mentally prepared for what you were about to witness in this school, but you immediately felt your jaw drop when your gaze caught on a striking woman with . . . questionable style. She wore a mink shawl in September, over a thin olive-green dress, and thigh-high boots. Long blonde hair fell in smooth waves, and with her fake eyelashes and large hoop earrings, she was like an ad to the seventies era. And, as if she wasn’t doing her job well enough, she blew a pink bubble and popped it, her eyes narrowing on you like you were the one whose style was four decades too late.

Now, judging someone based on how they dressed for school was not a habit of yours, but the attitude she was wearing along with her outfit was definitely annoying you a bit.

Just by the way she made a grimace at a couple of girls that simply passed by her, minding their own business (an asset very rare for insiders) screamed what type of girl she was.

You know the kind, probably a cheerleader, or a leader in some kind of attention seeking club, popular, possibly had every jock wrapped around her fingers. These type of girls, they never leave high school, they never abandon that mindset, it stays with them. Mean, cavalier, superficial... The kind who doesn’t have a thought stay in her head too long or else she needs a nap. If polar opposites were ever in the same room, it was her and you, undoubtedly.

She was surrounded by 2 fit guys and a red head that was carrying a handbag that matched hers. If she was Regina George then that was definitely Gretchen Wieners.To your disappointment, you watched as a very familiar back approached them. Kim Taehyung. Of fucking course he hanged out with that type of crowd.

The fact that you had to walk passed them to get to your class seemed like a form of torture. You wish the earth would just open in two, and shallow you in. You felt your heart beat faster and faster, and you tried to move quickly to avoid them like they were a bunch of hyenas and you were a sheep whose survival instincts had kicked in. As if things couldn’t get any worse, just when you were about to surpass them, thinking you’ve succeeded in staying invisible and out of Taehyung’s sight, you hear a male voice calling your name

“Y/n!! Surprised you actually showed up. Hope this sight lasts” Jungkook’s voice made a bunch of slurs rush to your mind.

You hated the fact that your gaze immediately met Taehyung’s, as if it was reaching out to him, or even worse, searching for him. He stood there, simply wearing gray nike sweatpants and a white Celine t-shirt, yet you swear he looked a hundred times better than any model you’ve ever seen. He was larger than life in this hallway. Or maybe, this hall was just small? No, it looked like a normal-sized hallway. Ugh, get a grip.

“Hoped you’d chicken out last minute” Taehyung’s indifferent voice ran down your spine, with a strange thrill following in its wake. You’d never admit it, but you had strangely longed for the the alluring feeling his voice gave you.

“Glad that my presence made all of you so excited” you scoffed

“Excited is kind of overselling it, don’t you think?”Taehyung answered almost immediately.

“I’d argue differently” You gave him a look that conveyed;you were definitely excited when you went down on me the other night, Kim Taehyung.

The blonde girl pursed her lips in annoyance when all of the attention had shifted from her to you “Excuse me, who even are you?” She regarded you like someone would watch Animal Planet—like you were another species and possibly dull entertainment.

“I really need to get to class-” You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks when Jungkook’s elbow rested on your shoulder out of the blue.

All these years had passed since the last time you were this close to Jeon Jungkook, however his aura had remained the same. Cold, alarming yet somehow attractive. You caught a glimpse of Taehyung’s eyebrow raising slightly. Almost as if he was jealous “She’s Y/N” Jungkook said “The outsider”

The girl’s face light up in surprise, like she had just met someone from a different planet “Incredible” A judgmental eye look traveled carefully from top to bottom. Your insides were flaming in anger, what was she looking at? “Never seen one so up close before. You’re quite the talk these days.” A condescending smile painted her rich blonde girl face. “I mean an outsider!. In Hashfield? It’s wild”

You swallowed your pride knowing that arguing with these types of girls would only do you harm. You took one last look at Taehyung but the minute your eyes locked he turned his head to the side, as if he was embarrassed to even look at you.

Strange. You’ve never seen him like this before.

“As I was saying, I really need to get to class.” Your tone cold and indifferent, completely masking the wide range of emotions you were experiencing all at once.

•••

You never really understood the way that some people romanticized university life.

In movies and television shows, it’s all soft acoustic indie music playing over the image of some girl reading in a library, and an attractive mysterious guy gazing at her from afar, time seemed to have almost stopped as he was slowly falling in love with her.

Reality was far less idyllic.

Studying at the library was a battle between you and your attention span, the constant whispers exchanged between two annoying friends that weren’t aiding your situation at all, and the long ass paragraphs that became intelligible after four sentences, so you had to restart again from the beginning a few times before you read through the whole thing—still not understanding half of it nonetheless.

After what seemed like an hour of struggling to comprehend the difference between salve and salvete you realized Latin would probably be a bit more difficult than you had initially expected. You got up and paced towards one of the many enormous bookshelves to grab a book called “The modern guide to the not so modern Latin” this should help, you thought.

“You going to stand there and stare at that book all day, or are you going to move? Pretty sure just looking at it won’t win you any points anyway” the smooth, low, familiar voice that left Taehyung’s downturned mouth caught you off guard. You immediately jerked your head up to face him. Messy dark curls fell in his eyes accompanied with unexpectedly delicate features and cold, somewhat impatient gaze.

You blinked at him blankly, your stomach dipped like a tilt-a-whirl. You were finally alone with him for the first time after that night, and just as the smell of freshly baked sweet potatoes with turkey brought you back to a Christmas dinner with your mom and aunt, his cologne brought you back to when he was all over you, kissing your neck. “Pretty sure you’re not getting any extra points for being a pain in the ass either, but hey, look at you” you replied quickly, finding your tongue and only narrowly fighting back the annoyance that threatened to seep into your tone.

He replied by simply curling his lips up slightly, almost as if he was amused by your response. His eyes flickered up to the bookshelf as he peeled his attention from you, probably scanning for some kind of book ad you took a moment to admire his sharp jawline. When he’d finally spotted it, he took a step forward and as if you were the same poles of a magnet, you took one back. He chuckled at your obvious try to avoid him and extended his right hand to grab a book that was titled “Everything and nothing about the history of religion”

“Didn’t have you for a guy that would read this stuff, thought you said you lost God a long time ago”

You watched as he quirked a dark eyebrow “Guess you haven’t forgotten everything about me” He slipped one hand into his pocket as his gaze fell down your body “You know, there’s a lot of time to read in here, and I’ve read it all” he sighted “Talmud, Torah, Quran, Tae Te Ching” he smiled at you “Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Jainism. Figured if I was looking for God, I should look everywhere.” He made a pause “Came out of that an atheist” he shrugged his shoulders

“Bet that’s a story” you said, gesturing to the book he was holding

“It is and it isn’t. I’m just in the middle of a project right now, besides, history behind religion was always more fascinating to me than the religion itself”

“Oh right, well, that sounds interesting, I’ll leave you to it then” Really? You couldn’t think of a less idiotic response? He just opened up about something clearly personal and you were too awkward to keep a normal conversation flow going? Embarrassed, you took a step to go around him and completely disappear—but, before you could, something grabbed your wrist.

He grabbed your wrist.

His grip felt like a band of fire; rough, calloused fire. A cool breath of fear mixed with something boiling hot leaked into your bloodstream. He stood only a few centimeters away from you, his grip the only thing connecting the two of you.

“Just so I know, are we going to pretend that night never happened?” his deep voice reached your ears

“What?” You breathed, your train of thought lost because of the hand wrapped around your wrist. It wasn’t a hard grip, but it was heavy, firm, immovable. It made you aware of how much smaller you were, how unnerved and out of place you felt. How you couldn’t leave unless he chose to release you.

He took a step closer as he watched you with an inquisitive gaze. Your heart felt close to stopping and your skin was burning up. “Are you going to pretend my dick wasn’t inside your mouth a few days ago?” he lowered his voice and you felt like you were about to pass out.

“I don’t know, are you going to pretend you weren’t in between my legs?” You managed to say and tried to pull your wrist away but he didn’t let you go.

Your pulse fluttered when his thumb brushed your knuckles. A smile painted all over his face like he had just done something he was proud of. “You know, if you want another round, all you have to do is ask”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” You said, breathing out an annoyed sigh as you brushed a piece of hair back from your face “Stop treating me like some girl that’s obsessed with you” you tried to free yourself from his grip “Let go!”

His gaze came back to your face, and you looked at each other for a moment. His grip slipped down your wrist, palm, fingers. The rough pads of his fingertips brushed your softer ones, and made your heart skip a beat. “I don't regret a single second I've spent with you, do you?”

What the hell? That was the last thing you expected to hear from his mouth and you didn’t know how you were supposed to respond. “Is this one of your sick jokes? Pretending to mean all these things when in reality all you want to see is how l’ll react? Because I’m tired of playing this game Taehyung, not this time, not with you.”

“No games” he pulled you even closer to his body “can’t you just listen to me?”

“I would if you talked to me. Do you know why I always need to have my guard up when it comes to you? Don’t you remember how embarrassed I was when you played that whole prank with Jungkook?” You pushed him away “Asshole, what makes you think it’s ok to play with people’s feelings like that?”

Two years ago. Jungkook was the only person you’d talk to, he was kind and seemed to like everything you did. The day after you’d confessed your feelings for him, you found out that the whole thing, Jungkook hanging out with you and pretending to like you, was a whole show Taehyung had put up. He’d made Jungkook do it. How dare he play with someone’s heart like that? What if all this was set up by him as well? You could never be too sure with him.

“Y/n, about that-“

“No. I’m done with you and your excuses. Just leave me alone” You cut him off “That night, I was drunk, and horny, and out of my head. Was it your dick I sucked? Sorry, can’t seem to remember that well, my memory is quite foggy” scorn laced your tone. You were done with him this time, you felt your blood boiling just by looking at him—and not in a good way.

“y/n come on-“

“You know, I really think that alcohol isn’t good or bad. But the version that can come out of me when I have enough to drink…yeah, she is bad. She’s careless and selfish and does things that I would never do sober.” Your tone monotonous, and your heart heavy as you know deep down that what you’re saying isn’t necessarily the truth. But you have to find a way in order to get away from Taehyung, he is bad for you, and you’re scared this whole thing is just another prank he carefully set up for you to fall in. But you knew better this time. “There is…a saboteur inside of me. she did everything that night, got it? And she left me to deal with the consequences of her actions.”

Taehyung pushed you with his body against a bookshelf. His right hand resting next to your head while you tried your best to control your breathing “You’re seriously going to pretend you didn’t love the way my tongue licked every inch of your skin?” His face centimeters away from yours as he stared at you dead in the eyes “The way you moaned my name?” He brought his right knee slightly up, just enough to push against your heat, providing the right amount of pressure to make your tummy tense up. How did he manage to have control over you yet once more? “The way you begged to eat my cum?” he breathed

“Stop…” your tone not very convincing, as you clearly didn’t want him to stop what he was doing. His mere knee was making you wetter than any other man ever did. And you hated him for that, you hated him for being the only one that made sucking someone’s dick enjoyable, so much you’d think about it every single night before you went to bed.

But love and hate seem to have an interesting relationship inside your head.

“Why are you putting on this whole show, when you feel the same things I do?” He placed his lips on the side of your neck, giving it a small and gentle kiss before facing you again “you smell amazing, you know that?”

The impact of his stare found a way to touch your skin. Again, a thing only he could do. The memory of him naked and exposed played on a loop, intense and hot, in your head. Just so you didn’t look like an intimidated little girl, you held his gaze for a breathless second.

Feel the same things I do?

What the hell did he mean by that? He wasn’t suggesting he actually viewed that night as something more than a meaningless hook up, was he? “I don’t have time for this, I need to get back to studying-“

“Studying, yeah” he jerked his head slightly backwards and sighted, and you couldn’t help but stare at his prominent Adam’s apple as it slowly moved. “Feels like I’m talking to a fucking wall sometimes” he took a step back

“I thought you loved walls” you smirked and distanced yourself from him “Next time, maybe don’t ghost me” you said with an indifferent voice, and maybe for a split second you wanted him to stop you one more time, grab you by your wrist and pull you in for a kiss, you closed your eyes and painted that picture in your head. But he never did.

It was for the best. Kim Taehyung was bad news, you knew how he treated girls, made them feel special and unique until he decided he was done with them. You were not going to allow yourself to fall for his little scheme. You caught a glimpse of his eyes, it was almost as if he was annoyed by you, as if you were the one who acted like a pretentious dick all the time.

You hated mornings

You couldn’t possibly describe how much.

Which was weird, considering dawn was your favorite part of the day, but the cold and empty feeling that you got when you first open your eyes is cruel and torturing. No matter how much you’d sleep, you would always feel tired when waking up.

Another reason why you hated mornings was because you had to get ready for Hashfield college. You had to find the right clothes and fix your hair and makeup. Not necessarily because you wanted to fit in but because that would make your day much easier. And it sounds dumb, but that was the case and you had to live with it.

There’s one thing you enjoyed about your dull mornings though, and that was the daily morning gossip call with Mina. She’d tell you everything that had happened last night and it would always make you even more jealous for the fact that you didn’t apply to a normal University outside of town instead of Hashfield. You could feel Mina’s excited voice. She was free. And you envied that.

“Ugh one thing I miss about Outfield is the coffee man, there’s just no competition”

“Uhh yeah sounds awful Mina you wanna switch places with me? Life sucks but at least coffee is bomb so I’d say it’s worth it right?”

Mina chuckled “I'll ignore your usual morning chipper and tell you all about the date I had last night”

You were always thankful for the distraction Mina provided every morning “I’m all ears”

“Okay, so” you could basically hear her smile through the phone “ "I was at the bar the other night and ran into this guy, his name's Beck, and we immediately hit it off, We talked for like, two hours afterwards, and he asked for my number. Few days ago he called and asked if I wanted to go out with him, and I was like hell yeah let's tear up the town. Guy picks me up at my apartment in this sleek ass car, and takes me out to this fancy pants restaurant, letting me order whatever I wanted, I mean this dude is loaded. Eventually I ask him what he does for a living, since he's got cash falling from the fuckin' sky. Apparently he works for the fucking Kim family? Isn’t it crazy how small the world is?”

“The Kim family!?” You repeated, it shouldn’t come as a surprise, the Kim business was booming the last decade, Taehyung’s father might be a shitty person but he is an awesome businessman.

“Y/n… you wanna know what’s even crazier?”

“Well I can’t say no now, can I?”

There was a small pause before Mina spoke again “He told me Kim Taehyung is going to be engaged soon.”

Words wouldn’t come out of your mouth.

You knew insiders were engaged early, basically, their parents wanted to secure business merges by having their kids engaged. It did good for business and insiders didn’t want to get married to outsiders in the first place, so it worked.

But Kim Taehyung? For some reason, you always thought he’d be a different case. He was known for his recklessness and not completely adhering to the rules inside the walls. He’d sleep with a lot of women, insiders and outsiders. He didn’t care about the gossip and he certainly didn’t care about what his daddy would say.

So yeah, in a way, hearing these news shocked you in more ways than one. “Are you sure? How would he know?”

“Talks around the office. You know how these things go y/n, if daddy says it then it’s law”

You hated mornings.

Perhaps, in hindsight, the fifth drink had been a mistake.

He isn't drunk, maybe tipsy, he hates to admit that he has grown a tolerance for alcohol. These many drinks into the evening, Taehyung’s short term memory wasn't up to its usual standards. Standing in the door of the bathroom, Taehyung thinks, 'Why am I in here?' It takes at least five seconds before he remembers that he wanted to pee , he's had five drinks and three glasses of water, and things are beginning to get urgent.

“Come ooooon we only have one fucking bathroom in this whole place” he listened to Jungkook’s stammering voice from the door. They had the same amount of alcohol but Jungkook was having a rougher time than him. Considering he apparently forgot there are two more restrooms downstairs.

Jerking his head back, letting his curls fall down, Taehyung thinks of you.

He wasn’t going to, he made a promise to himself to flick away this attraction he seemed to have for you. It wasn’t doing him any good and he knew things with you should remain platonic for your sake. He wasn’t a good guy, and he liked you enough as a person to keep a disntace before fucking everything up—like always.

Was it a week ago? He recalls that’s the last time he talked to you, in the library. Fuck, he could still smell your perfume in his nose as if you were there with him.

But you weren’t.

You were in that other party with Seokjin and Zed down at Clair’s. Taehyung wouldn’t step foot anywhere near Clair’s house, she was crazy for him and things hadn’t ended up the way she wanted so she made sure to make Taehyung’s life a living nightmare instead.

But right now, all Taehyung was thinking about was how much he wanted to punch the shit out of Zed. That dude was an A class asshole that wanted nothing but get his way in your pants. He knew you weren’t going to give it to him, you were smarter than half of the insiders he knew, but he couldn’t hold his worry back.

“Come ooooon dude I will fucking piss my pants”

Taehyung laughed at the sounds Jungkook was making. He finished his business and opened the door chuckling. “You know there are other bathrooms here buddy, right?”

“Whatever” Jungkook blurred before immediately letting loose of his pants. He didn’t even have the sense of mind to close the door behind him.

Jungkook was a good kid, very misunderstood by everyone. Granted, he was a massive dick to girls, but that’s just because he had his heart broken by his first love, and it’s been downhill ever since.

He was like a brother to Taehyung, he was there when Taehyung’s parents had split up, probably the darkest Taehyung had ever been. But Jungkook remained by his side through it all, and Taehyung knew he’d never meet a friend like Jungkook again.

Taehyung and Jungkook didn’t fight, ever. Except well , this one time.

They fought one time over you.

Jungkook had met you while hanging out with some weird crowds outside of the walls, and he seemed to grow a liking towards you. You had similar interests and hobbies despite the different worlds you two were living in, Taehyung had to bite the inside of his cheek every time Jungkook mentioned your name as if it had honey dripping all over it.

Taehyung loves Jungkook, but he knew he wasn’t good for you, so he decided to lie to you and spread the rumor that Jungkook liking you was a prank.

He was stupid for doing that, but he blames his young age and blinding jealousy for that. He still remembers how offended Jungkook got, but he got over the whole thing pretty quick, at least until he’d found his next victim.

Jungkook was a good kid, but he wasn’t good enough for you, no insider was, including himself.

“You’re kind of off today, Taehyung” Brianna wrapped a hand around his waist “Something on your mind?”

A lot of things he couldn’t talk about, especially with her “Nah, just tipsy I guess”

“Oh my god Bri” Tess laughed at her phone like she had just seen the funniest thing of her life “Isn’t that the new outsider girl? y/n, was her name? Was it?”

The mention of your name made Taehyung look at Tess’s phone screen. It was a video of you throwing up in a vase of flowers with the caption ‘Guess outsiders can’t handle alcohol that well’

“I give her another month before she drops out.” Brianna was as toneless as always “Why on earth would she think that mixing with Hashfield was a good idea? Outsiders are a joke, honestly”

“Why do you care, Brianna? It’s just college, who gives a fuck anyways?” Taehyung interrupted, not even bothering to mask how annoyed he was.

When Taehyung imagined what he wanted from life, getting engaged with Brianna was never on his list. It wasn’t even a thought that occurred, until his good-for-nothing ambitious father decided that the Arden family was doing massive numbers in sales. So what better way to merge businesses than to engage him to the Ice queen?

Jesus, his father was a lost case. Tae swore to himself that he’ll never go through with the deal. His plan was to finish Hashfield College as fast as possible and travel around the world, get far away from the fucking wall.

Brianna scoffed, as if she had just heard the most ridiculous thing in her damn life. “just College?” She eyed him “Taehyung, it’s Hashfield”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes so fucking much he thought he saw his brain for a second. People like Brianna were not to be reasoned with. “Me and Jungkook are heading to the after party.”

“The after party? I think you’ve had enough to drink already” She lectured him as if she was his goddamn mother, she wasn’t.

“Didn’t know thinking was one of your abilities, you keep surprising me” His tone was rougher than usual but he didn’t really care. Plus the O shaped face she just made was the most amusing thing she’d done all day today. “Cmon Jungkook, let’s go”

•••

If you could get an image stuck in your head forever, it would be Taehyung’s face when he saw you walking out of the bathroom giggling with Zed, heading to find the others downstairs.

Of course, nothing had happened with Zed, he just wanted some help throwing all that tequila out of his system because he drunk a little more than he could handle, which was not much to begin with.

But Kim Taehyung’s expression was painted in your mind. Almost as if he was ready to punch Zed in the face.

Whatever.

What was he doing here anyway? Last you heard, he was at some fancy party with his girlfriend—or should you say fiancé, Brianna.

You don’t remember the last time you actually locked eyes with him since that run-in at the library. During lectures, you’d pretend he wasn’t there, but that only made it worse because you ended up constantly thinking about him. His mere presence was a constant burden. Kim Taehyung was a demon, or the devil himself.

The ninth circle of hell was not in some deep bowel under the earth, it was right here, in front of Clair’s Olympic sized swimming pool. Taehyung removed his shirt and dived in with a couple girls following him soon after. His hair wet and all over the place, locks falling loosely in his eyes, his body shiny under the moonlight and that fucking smirk all over his face. How could a man look this attractive?

“Fucking hell” you hear Celine basically moan.

Yeah, everyone was starring at the half-naked prince of Hashfield. Including you, and he noticed. You hate that he caught you looking

You quickly averted your eyes back to your phone, you didn’t want to give Taehyung the satisfaction of starring at him. Especially now, that he was acting like he had you down already.

“Fuck he’s hot” Nessa’s mouth had more water than the pool itself.

“I know right?” Jess exhaled deeply “Imagine fucking that”

Imagine fucking that

You cursed all sorts in your brain. Of course everyone wanted him. What’s not to like? A mysterious bad boy image, money, the fame of half the world, and soon to be C.E.O of the Kim cooperation. He was THE shit, and the worst part about it;he knew it.

The way he’d glance at all the girls that were eyeing him up and down, he felt the stares and he was feeding off of them.

“Jess your jaw is hitting the ground” Jin teased and in response he got a slap on the shoulder.

Your eyes jumped back at the pool, only to catch Taehyung starring back at you, his eyebrow cocked up, his expression was like an invitation, a dirty one. He watched as you took a sip of your drink, not breaking eye contact for a split second. This had been the longest you had starred at him. His eyes pierced through your soul, and you burned so much that no amount of ice could cool you down.

The devil.

“What do you think about him? Kim Taehyung” Zed bumped your shoulder resulting in that eye contact to break.

“I don’t know. . . Arrogant dick sounds like a nice summary” you faked a smile.

Arrogant dick was one way to describe him, among other things you wouldn’t say out loud, ever.

Zed chuckled at that. “Yeah, I don’t like the dude much either. He’s too lost in his own little fantasy world his good daddy built for him”

Wow, ironic much? Considering that was the case for most people around them, including him.

“It’s not his fault his daddy got money” Defending Tae was not your intention, but that statement was true. Sure, his father was this Hashfield King everyone admired yet feared, but it wasn’t Taehyung’s fault he was born into his family.

“I guess…”

He guesses. As if Zed wasn’t a nepotism baby. Living in the shadow of his family’s wealth. Probably marrying another woman that did the same.

•••

If it was one thing you enjoyed doing in those good-for-nothing outsider parties, it was to stroll around the huge mansions they were held in.

So many rooms that looked more like museums or modern art galleries that no one took an interest in because they were too busy getting fucked up by the jacuzzi or had no taste for such things to begin with.

Your eyes caught an enormous half opened wooden door with golden details on the side. You enter the room to find out it was an office. The place was a perfect square with a blue, stylish couch, a mahogany desk with a couple chairs in front of it, a flat-screen TV, and a minibar.

The walls were concrete, but with the gold and blue oriental rug and nothing but one piece of artwork on the wall, the room was somehow warm and comfortable.

You studied the painting that sat behind a shiny piece of glass. Pastel colors and bold yet refined sweeps of a brush. You weren’t much of an artistic person like your mother, but you recognized the work. You’d watched a documentary about the downfall of modern art. That what we consider art today is a poor example of the talent and heart of art in the past.

“Got lost trying to find the bathroom again?” Taehyung’s voice made goosebumps run down your back.

How did you two always manage to end up in the same places? Manage to read the same books, enjoy the same movies, like the same music? “Stalker alert”

You turned around and met his face. A thick atmosphere hung in the air. “Don’t flatter yourself” he scoffed “I’m impressed that leach Zed isn’t here with you, I thought you two were a package deal” He downed his drink and paced around the room, his attention moving from your eyes to the painting behind you.

“I could say the same thing about you and Cruella de Vil”

He laughed at that. A soft laugh, the kind that could melt your heart. “I can’t tolerate Brianna for more than an hour honestly”

“You’re not that tolerable yourself either”

Taehyung remained silent. His gaze fixed on the only painting in the room. And all you wanted to do was touch him just to make sure he was actually there, and you weren’t dreaming.

You should’ve gotten out of that room the minute he got there. He was trouble, and it was best to stay away from him, but for some fucking reason you found yourself glued there, gazing at him as if he was god himself.

“The Cliff Walk at Pourville” he suddenly broke the silence.

“Didn’t take you for a guy who would have a soft spot for Monet”

He turned his head, his dark eyes found yours and for a moment you felt your head spinning. “My mama was a fan” Your stomach warmed at the deep way mama rolled off his lips. “She had good taste” He laughed quietly. A bitter note showed through, and he wiped his amusement away with a palm like he’d just realized what he’d done. “You know why she liked about The Cliff Walk at Pourville so fucking much?” He clicked his tongue “It looks like the beach surrounding the wall. She said if she could paint freedom, it would look like that” he tapped the painting with his finger sort of aggressively. “And now she is free and I’m left alone in this fucking cliff”

Was that anger in his tone? Or maybe disappointment…? You figure it was a cocktail of the two. For some reason, your heart broke. You knew how much he loved his mum, you haven’t heard any news about her. Kim Taehyung’s father was a mean and cruel man, but how cold does a mother have to be to leave behind her only son like that?

“Don’t you like it here?”

His eyes wondered around the room, almost as if they were avoiding you “I don’t know…I mean it’s Hashfield right? I should be on my knees thanking the fucking God that I get to live inside the wall.” He breathed “The Damn wall”

“I can’t figure you out. I thought you enjoyed all of this…”

His drunk gaze found yours.

And you swear you lost sensation in your legs. He was a statue, something out of this century, maybe he was a reincarnation of Achilles. Or maybe he was not human.

His lips were slightly apart and his eyes were almost sparkly under the light. He smiled and finished what was left of his drink “I’m afraid you will never figure me out”

You rolled your eyes. Even drunk and out of his head he remained stubborn and an annoying know-it-all. “Why not?” You returned the smile, weirdly amused by the fact that his nose had turned slightly red from all that booze.

“I’m a paradox” His eyes tried to fix on you for a minute but soon flattered “I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet ambitious. I don’t like myself but I also love who I am.” He took a long breath “I pretend I don’t care, when in reality I do. I crave attention, yet reject it when it comes my way. Im a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else can”

At that point, every last piece of your armor disintegrated. You felt Taehyung was being genuine with you, for once. He told you something about himself. He let you inside a corner of his brain. There was no pretense, it was just you, him and the Monet painting behind you.

“You miss your mother?” A gulp in your throat, you couldn’t hold this question back.

He exhaled “Everyday”

“You know, I used to think that losing someone went hand in hand with losing a part of yourself. That losing a person close to you was like giving away a little bit of who you are every time you said goodbye. But that’s not always true. Some losses, some parting of ways, are essential for our personal growth. When we burn a bridge, we allow something new to grow from its ashes. Something that wouldn’t have gotten the chance to bloom otherwise. So most of the time loss actually goes hand in hand with a new beginning, a new chance, even if it takes us years to see the change and to realise that maybe it was for the best. With every person you lose, with everyone you willingly let go, you get to know a part of yourself that was hidden before.”

He looked at you carefully as he took the remaining steps towards you. His cologne pierced your nose and nerves played beneath your skin when instead of stopping he came closer, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer “You’re really something, you know that?”

You pretended this position didn’t effect you at all, but in reality your heart raced from the shock.

“Y/N..” You turned your head to look at him. your breath shallowed when you realized his lips were only inches from your own. His gaze was warm, seeing deeper beneath your skin with each second. “Why are you here?”

You frowned your brows “I just…I like snooping around these big houses, I’m not really used to them. Plus if I have to sit through one more insider small talk I will drown myself in the pool. By the way did you know this house has like six pools? how many do you even need-“

“I mean Hashfield. Why on earth would you come to this place? I know you hate it”

“You’re right” A deep breath “I never wanted to come to Hashfield. It was not this big dream everyone thinks I had.” You exhaled and took a sneak peak of the way he was looking at you. He made you feel like whatever you were about to say was of importance. And it was. “The biggest mistake I’ve ever made was thinking time didn’t exist for me. I was young and stupid and convinced time would bend to my will like reeds bend to the wind. I was going to be a high schooler forever, you know? I had no plans, no dream job, nothing. But for whatever reason, I was always good with school. My grades were always top of the class and my teachers constantly praised me. That’s when my mum recommended that I try out for Hashfield. She really believed in me. No one ever believed in me but she did.”

“You never told her you didn’t want to come here?” He asked, rightfully so.

“I kept the words that could change everything lodged under my tongue, too scared, too shy, too embarrassed to say them out loud. Because what should I tell her? That I’ll reject the greatest opportunity anyone could have? That all the hard work and support she gave me was for nothing?” You sighted “I was going to tell her, eventually, I was sure about it. I thought I could put it off for another week, at least. The week became a month. And then the acceptance letter came and it was too late…Time. I had ran out of time.”

The dim lighting made his eyes look like burnt gold. “I guess one good thing came out of that”

“What?” You asked, already knowing the answer in your head, but you wanted to hear it from him

“We met again”

“We met multiple times outside the walls before, you know”

“Yeah” a faint smile “but that was different” he made a pause “I was different”

Tension crept between the two of you, finding its way between your legs and settling there like a heavy weight. You found yourself thinking about so many things. You wanted to see what was beneath that white shirt. You wanted to know how much little effort it would take for him to hold you down. You wanted to put out this fire inside you that had been there since the last time he touched you. But then. The words escaped your mouth as if they had a mind of their own “I heard you are getting engaged”

His gaze found yours, and the gold blackened around the edges. Your pulse pirouetted to a strange dance. “You heard?” his voice darker than usual

“I’m surprised more people don’t know about it. You’re like a prince around here”

“That’s because it’s not official yet” he exhaled a deep breath “My father is in the midst of some big deal and apparently he wants me to be the seal of it.. He can go fuck himself. I’m not planning to be a pawn in his game.” The anger quickly turned into amusement as he saw your face “Why princess, you thought you had lost me forever?”

With his body pressed against yours, warming you from the inside out, the pull to lean in was a physical thing. A heavy tug, as if he was your center of gravity. You could taste his breath and feel his strong heartbeat.

How easy it would be; to bury your fingers in his hair, to run your hand along his jawline, to meet your mouth with his.

You knew it would be the best kiss you’d ever have.

But you manage to tame that urge. Almost as if the two sides inside of you were fighting and hopefully this time, reason was winning. “Will you let go of me?”

To be fair. You weren’t making much of an effort to free yourself from his grip.

“I don’t want to.”

You loved his voice and the way he said that.

What was wrong with you? “Let me go”

“You’re not very convincing”

“You’re a dick”

“You always say that”

“Cause it’s true”

“Well I guess I’m a dick with a very kissable mouth then”

You cringed at the memory of you admitting he has a kissable mouth. It was true, but he didn’t need to know that. “Remove your hands Kim Taehyung”

Just when he was about to open his mouth and say something -probably very annoying- his phone rang.

“You should take that, maybe it’s your fiancé”

He raised his eyebrow in annoyance and checked his phone. The name on the screen wrote ‘Jungkook’ and you felt your throat dry up from the memories that hit you.

Kim Taehyung was not a good person to you, why were you in his arms?

“It better be important Jungkook” he answered his phone.

KIM TAEHYUNG P.O.V

“Look man, I-I didn’t do it okay? I mean-I mean I did it’s just- I had a lot to drink and Jimin was teasing me, saying I was a pussy and too scared to do it”

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

This couldn’t be good.

“What happened Jungkook. Fucking spill it”

He stared as you reached for your phone in your back pocket. It had been vibrating for a while. Who was texting you so impatiently? Was it Zed? Seokjin?

“I told Zed about the bet. I told him that we made a bet and you won, that you’d slept with y/n. Look man I’m sorry I-“

Your expression turned cold when you read the text messages on your screen. “What the fuck!?” You yelled as you pushed your self away from him. Your eyes slowly turning up, meeting his own. He could tell whatever you read probably broke your heart right there and then

He had fucked up. Big time.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Kim Taehyung?”

Jungkook was continuing his rumble making a half assed apology when Taehyung hangs up the phone. Trying to calm you down “Y/n I’m sorry I didn’t-“

“I knew it…” Your expression was empty, almost cold, Taehyung had never seen you like this before. You were always bright and warm. You were the only person he felt comfortable around, but right now… he could barely look at you in the eyes. “I can’t believe I trusted you. Kim Taehyung. A fucking bet?” You basically growled “Over who gets to fuck me? You truly are your father’s son.” He could taste the bitterness out your mouth when you spat that.

“Y/n… I can explain… please” He needed to explain to you…what? That you were lovely and smart and better than anything he deserved? That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for you?. That without meaning to, he’d begun to lean on you, to look for you, to need you near.?

Would you even believe him if he did tell you that? He thinks not. And he deserves the way you’re looking at him right now. Like he was garbage, because maybe, he truly is his father’s son. “I’m sorry… you can’t imagine how sorry I am y/n…”

It didn’t matter how much he begged for forgiveness, that look in your eyes told him you were done with him for good. For every step he took toward you, you took two steps back. Every time he thought he’d made some sort of progress, that he’d finally gotten somewhat closer to you, you slipped away again, like a shadow, like the wind, like a ray of light, simply refusing to be captured.

To be continued. . .

taglist:

@nikkiordonez12 @travelleratheart101 @chr1sht @theaufanartist @tetesland @world-moon @ratedbangtann @chimchoom @pnkoo @taehyungedd @turnthepageandbeburnt @glitteryouid @jkbangtan7

Sorry for taking this long, cheers! Happy new year

“Freaking outsiders” The word, the voice, the attitude. You’d never heard anyone use the word ‘outsider’ to refer to a group of people before.

Well, that was before you moved to the outskirts of Hasfield, the dream city.

That’s the first thing you remember about Kim Taehyung, and you can hear it still today “Outsiders” They way he’d spat it, it sounded harsh and dismissive. It was a word used to describe people who lived outside of the Hashfield city walls. A word to describe the poorer, the middle class, people who weren’t CEOs of a big company with three cars, each one bigger yet emptier than the other.

You moved to Hashfield with your mother four years ago, after your parents got divorced. You always heard about that place, Hollywood simply adored to romantice that town, The field of love and success, that’s what people called it. If only everyone was to see it for what it truly was, a cage filled to the brim with arrogant, snooty rich people. So rich they’d sometimes forget they couldn’t actually buy humans or their respect. They thought money solved everything, to them, Hasfield was the paradise of the privileged and whoever lived outside it was lesser.

Of course when you say you moved to Hasfield, you don’t really mean the town of Hashfield. Unless you won some kind of lottery, you couldn’t just wake up one day and move there. You had to be worth at least a few millions in order to be granted permission to buy a house inside the town.

The place you lived was called Outfield. It was the city surrounding Hashfield. The only divider between the two was a wall. A constant reminder that you were different from the people living on the other side of it. There was this saying going around where you lived, People inside the wall had two houses and people outside of it had two jobs.

“Freaking outsiders man, watch where you park your damn cars. Your parents worked so hard to get you one, it’d be a same to see it get toed” Kim Taehyung barked, his friends laughing and giggling as a background noise. God, you hated each and every one of them.

The Hashfield kids. Maybe even worse than their snobby ass parents who at least somewhat worked to get their wealth. These good for nothing rich teens just happened to be born into their wealthy as hell families and suddenly thought they owned the world.

“What’s your problem asshole? The car’s parked just fine. Funny how your parents are rich yet don’t care enough about you to buy you glasses when you obviously need them” you answer back.

You didn’t have to, the car being picked on wasn’t even your own, it was Mina’s, but his bossy attitude fired you up.

You look at him as he stared down, curling his lips into a wry grimace. You figured he was getting ready to fire back, you knew Kim Taehyung and how combative he was when it came to comebacks.

You despised him, but to your surprise, most people fancied him. Maybe it was his thick wavy brown hair or his arrestingly deep voice, or maybe, his strong, carefree smile and that six-foot toned physique of his that seemed to put everyone under a spell, except you.

You couldn’t see him as something else than what he truly was— a snake with a tongue full of poison. “Careful y/n, I’m hearing you’ve applied to Hashfield Collage, it would be a shame if you didn’t get in” he didn’t care to give you another look “let’s go guys, I can’t stand being here a minute more than I have to”

Your circle always viewed Kim Taehyung as a bit of an enigma—a boy caught between two worlds. You see, four years ago, when you’d first arrived here, Taehyung’s parents had split up, his mum had to move out of Hashfield, you heard Taehyung was devastated as he had grown very close to his mother.

He started visiting Outfield a lot more because of that. That’s when you’d first met him. In the beginning, you cared for the boy, he seemed kind and open. You’d stumbled across him at a local café once. In his way out, he bumped your shoulder making you spill a bit of your coffee on your shirt. He apologized, offering to pay for another cup. That’s when the small talk started

“So what do you like to do around here? Except from the wild parties I’ve heard so many stories of” He’d asked, but not with bad intend, as it was no secret the entertainment outside the walls was much different. A lot better, in your opinion. That’s one good thing about Outfield, no chess clubs, no wine tasting events and thankfully not a single cocktail lounge around. Even insiders(people living inside the wall) enjoyed the night life here from time to time.

You smiled “I swim, go out at night, maybe read”

You’d placed reading last on your list of hobbies, thinking that, with the willful, brazen attitude he’d displayed so far, reading would figure last on his.

You would soon realize you were wrong. He’d immediately laughed and recognized a veiled allusion to a Jane Austen’s book, you’d talked about your favorite books and how life would be so much better if it resembled them. You liked how your minds seemed to travel in parallel, how you instantly inferred what words the other was toying with. After about an hour of smooth conversation, it was clear that your real interests laid right alongside his.. Taehyung used to be interesting, bright and warm.

Everything he wasn’t nowadays.

He had changed so much in these four years. You couldn’t help but entirely forget the boy you had met at that café.

“Y/n, let’s just go, alright? Arguing with a bunch of insiders wasn’t on my list today” Mina stammered. She was never the one to stand up in front of insiders—especially Kim Taehyung. Her parents both worked at the Kim’s firm which was owned by Taehyung’s dad.

Frustration clawed at your chest “I’m just sick and tired of them always having the upper hand, you know? It’s so unfair”

“I get it” she conceded “but it’s not worth risking my parent’s job”

You give her a nod, completely understanding of her situation. She wasn’t the only one. Most likely, if you lived in Outfield you worked for someone who lived in Hashfield, that was the chain of life around here.

“That’s like what? A two-story fall to the ground?” Namjoon asked Jin who was standing on top of this oak wood pavilion. Insiders loved that stuff, they’d organize these half-assed charities from time to time here. But when it wasn’t charity season, this place was your friend group’s hang out spot. “bet you 20 bucks you can’t land without at least a broken leg”

“Make it 30 and I’ll do a back flip on my way down as well” Jin chuckled

“You know what? That’s why women’s life expectancy is longer. We don’t risk our limbs for 30 bucks” you rolled your eyes.

“Tell me y/n, how does it feel to live a long, long, boring life? Is it worth it?” Jin teased. And as he tried to take a step backwards he lost his balance, resulting in him almost slipping and a terribly loud scream escaping his lips. You thought he’d pissed his pants right there and then.

“You were saying?” You chuckle. To be frank, you were never really sure why Kim Seokjin hanged out with your crowd. Jin was basically an insider, his family owned this big cosmetic brand that was featured in the biggest beauty magazines of all time.

What he’d told you was that he didn’t enjoy life inside Hashfield, people were only nice to him because he was one of them, he knew the second his parents went bankrupted no one would take an interest in him. He hated fake relationships, and it was no secret Hashfield was full of them. Before you’d met him, you thought all insiders were the same shit, turns out some of them could actually be human.

“I can’t believe you were willingly going to jump down from there for 30 bucks when your parents make 4 figures an hour” Mina shook her head and passed Jin a beer whose only response was a small shrug. Jin didn’t care about money but that’s only because he had more than he could count.

“So, what was Kim Taehyung all about earlier today y/n? Is it true?” Mina suddenly asked

“What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, about you applying for Hashfield collage, please tell me it was just him being a prick?” She queried.

You hesitated answering that question because you knew they’d be disappointed by your answer. The dream after high school was to study at a place as far away from Hashfield as possible, start a new life and forget the wall ever existed. But the truth is, you guys weren’t kids anymore, and your mother wanted you to attend Hashfield collage because it would secure you a good job with satisfying money. Your mother always worked so hard, you wanted to make her proud, so you decided to apply. You never really thought you’d get in, as you’d heard they were very picky and strict with admissions from outsiders, but two days ago a letter titled “Congratulations! Welcome to Hashfield Collage!” had arrived at your doorstep. It was funny, you never thought you’d actually be disappointed by a successful college admission…

Your silence combined with your enigmatic expression must’ve given you away.

“Oh come on y/n, you can’t be serious!” Namjoon marveled

“Why would you willingly go to such a place? It’s like choosing to swim in waters filled with sharks” Jin added

“Says the man who’s already in his 3rd year there”You scoffed

“Yeah but I’m no fish, to them, I’m a shark. There’s a reason outsiders don’t usually apply for Hashfield college. Y/n, you’re pray for the people going there, your life’s going to be like a living hell”

“Thanks for that pep talk, really appreciate it.” You sight “ Look, I’m only going because I don’t want to let my mum down. She really wants me to graduate from there.”

As you sat upright on your bed and savored the warmth of your hot chocolate, you started pondering the conversation you had with Jin earlier that night. You’re pray for the people going there. You’d be lying had you convinced yourself the opposite. You knew Seokjin was not wrong, no outsider in their right mind would consider going to that Collage knowing how miss treated they’d get, yet you’re seriously considering it.

Your window caught your reflection. God, you thought, you screamed outsider. Not that that was necessarily a bad thing, not to you at least, but you knew people would smell you out from miles away.

“Hey sweetie” you’re mum cracked open your rooms door “just came to say goodnight, you know, I’m very proud of you” the melodic tone in her voice almost made you want to break down in tears for even thinking about quitting this whole thing.

“Mum, do you think-“ you stutter “do you think I’ll be good enough for Hashfield Collage?”

“Oh honey” she approached you “Any collage would be lucky to have you. And I’m not just saying that cause I’m you’re mother” she chuckled “You know you were always top of your class. You’ll do great things. I believe in my little girl”

Of all the strange, foreign food and drink you’ve tried tonight, champagne might be your favorite—not the taste, which is bitter, or the oddly sharp bite of the bubbles, which burn the back of your throat, but the pleasant warmth that spreads through your belly as it goes down, and the loose, relaxed feeling that buoys you through these endless, insane conversations insiders had amongst each other.

You shouldn’t have listened to Jin. Coming to this party was a big mistake. It will help you get a glimpse of what life inside the wall is, y/n. Jin was so wrong about that. Even if you went to Hashfield College, you wouldn’t dare spend an extra minute inside the walls for entertainment purposes. You didn’t need a glimpse of the life inside the wall simply because you wouldn’t ever live it. Mixing with insiders was never on your list.

You were about to chime in with a question about horse racing—these insiders sure loved their odd rich sports and talking about them for hours on end, but one thing they maybe loved more than that was outsiders showing off their ignorance of their lifestyle. Jin interrupted you the moment he saw your mouth moving, he probably knew you’d mess up. “I mean, how can you come last with a quarter? These are like the fastest breeds around. Jade had no excuse but lack of skill this time”

“Oh Seokjin, you were always a bit too harsh on Jade” acknowledged the tall, lean, platinum blond boy. Jin had told you loads about him. Apparently his family owned some kind of pharmaceutical company and they collaborate with Jin’ parent’s brand all the time. Jin and him have been hanging out together ever since they were kids, that been said, Jin wouldn’t really call him a close friend. Zed was a decent kid but an insider nonetheless.

“Well maybe Jade was never good enough then” Jin scoffed and downed his drink.

“What do you think, y/n? I would like a fresh opinion on this.” Zed gestured towards you with his drink “A new point of view”

“I don’t really keep up with horse racing” awkward looks constantly exchanging between you and Jin. “Or with any sport, in general”

You were already nervous speaking to them—Jin’s friends—who you knew to be the most toleratable out of all the insiders you’ve met. Sure, they were still inside their own little magic bubble, but they had no real hate for people living outside of it. They weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed either, but still, conversation was entertaining to a certain extend. If you were nervous around them, the real deal would be a lot scarier, you bet.

“where is the bathroom in this place?” you whisper at Jin who was exploding with laughter at a cheeky insult towards Jade he had just come up with.

“It’s downstairs, second door to your right” he answered before quickly hoping back to the conversation.

• • •

“Wow” you breath, tilting your head back to look up at the ceiling. This was definitely the wrong door. The walls are stacked with books, at least thirty feet high, sloping into a domed ceiling at the very top. Where there aren't books but paintings, paintings beyond anything you could ever hope to see up close, with rolling fields and horses, and on one wall there's a mirror ringed with gold. Soft yellow light glows from sconces on the walls, tapering down the wooden paneled walls, and you feel as though they've stumbled upon something ancient. Something that shouldn't exist in the sleek, bejeweled and shallow world that is Hashfield.

Without a second thought, you slip off your heels and pad across the floor to stand before a wooden ladder, shiny in the soft light, wheels on its feet. You place your hands carefully on either side of the ladder, gazing up, setting one small foot on the bottom rung, then another.

“Careful, this thing is older than you and me both” a familiar male voice startled you, resulting in your foot slipping on the polished wood, and you tipping back with a yelp, your shoulder landing hard against his.

Out of all people, why did it have to be him?

His arms wrap around you without thought, steadying you “You really owe me for this one” Taehyung smirked.

“It’s because of you I fell in the first place” you shake yourself off his tight grip and take a few steps back.

“Guess the word ‘thank you’ isn’t used much outside the wall, eh?” his attitude always brought out the worst in you. Who did this dude think he was?

“What are you even doing here? Stalking me much?”

“Don’t flatter yourself y/n. Besides, this has always been my hidden spot.” He eyed you from top to bottom with a captious look on his face. “I think the real question is, what are you doing here? How did you even end up at Jiyeon’s party?”

You pause for a minute, not knowing wether to lie or not. You were basically here to train yourself to fit in with the insiders, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how painfully different you were from all of them, it was way too embarrassing of a thing to admit to Kim Taehyung. “Jin invited me as his plus one” and that was not a lie, why should you have to explain yourself any further? It was not a crime to attend insider parties as long as you were invited to them.

You see him laugh “Oh Seokjin, always had a thing for outsiders. Classic love story isn’t it? Rich guy, poor girl, live happily ever after even if society tells them it’s wrong and unnatural.”

You shake your head “you’re so annoying” Whats more annoying is that you wish you could say he’s ugly. He should be a short, fat troll, with a cleft palate and watery eyes. A limping hunchback. Warts and zits. Yellow-cheese teeth and onion sweat. But he’s not. He’s pretty much the opposite. More proof there’s no justice in this world.

“Oh I am many things” his gaze fixed on you “and dumb is certainly not one of them. You’re here because you got into Hashfield College? Am I right?”

“So what- What does this have anything to do with you?” you stammered all manner of things so as not to speak your mind. You wanted to act careless, strong, like getting accepted to that college wasn’t a big deal to you. 

“Relax y/n, no need to get all defensive about it.” He said as if he could see right through you. “But if you wanted to see a real Hashfield party, Seokjin brought you to the wrong place. Everybody knows you only go to Jiyeon’s to pick up girls. The real fun is here” he showed you his phone screen. All you could see was a huge mansion with a large sweaming pool in the middle of it.

“What even is this?”

“That, y/n, is where you should be this Friday night. Everyone from Hashfield collage is going” Taehyung was in his second year, so he obviously knew all sort of things you didn’t.

“Taehyung, why are you even showing me this? I thought you weren’t a big fan of outsiders mixing with insiders…”

“I’m not. Which is precisely why you should come to that party” he confirmed “You should see just how different you are from all of us. You should see why you shouldn’t even be thinking about attending Hashfield college. You’re not cut out to be here, no outsider is. Give it up”

The room suddenly turned cold and dark, reflecting how you felt at this moment. His words felt much like a slap to the face, but you couldn’t let him win, you had way too much pride for that. Taehyung has always been the unconventional savvy and a master in delivering circuitous remarks, but not this time. “I’m not interested in your deluded judgment” You bark, although you know Taehyung is right about one thing;you being totally different from them, but you viewed that more as a compliment. A cynical smile draws its way on your face “nonetheless, thanks for the invite”

You didn’t want to stare at his good-for-nothing handsome face a second more than you had to. You immediately turn away from him, pacing towards the door in complete anger when you hear his voice from the distance

“You’ve got nerve y/n… and for your own good, you better have enough of it”

What are you doing here? This place is clearly way out of your league, not only that, the people surrounding you are the exact same people that you normally despise being around. Drunk Hashfield college kids. You can’t believe yourself, coming all the way here just to prove a point to Kim Taehyung? That’s low, even for your pride.

“I can’t believe you actually wanted to come to the beast” Jin nagged over the loud music

“The beast?” You repeat his words

“Yeah, that’s what they call this place. I swear I’ve never seen anyone sober party here”

You figured as much, considering it had only pushed 11 and everyone around you was clearly drunk as fuck. It took Jin’s friends about 5 minutes max to locate you. They immediately started having an obnoxiously loud conversation about some new musical that played in the Hashfield theater last week. In the beginning, you’d guessed, wow, these people are finally talking about something different than what their dad gifted them this month, but to your disappointment, you’d soon realize you were wrong.

“I mean did you see Camile’s dress? Isn’t that the same one she wore at her brothers wedding or something? Guess their magazine isn’t selling as much as it used to” a girl said, tittering

What was the deal with these people and materialism? You didn’t think the situation was that bad. People tend to oversell the way insiders act—you used to say, not all of them are shallow arses. Oh how wrong you were, these people were exactly the way they were rumored to be. Elitist, narrow-minded and snob to the bone.

You didn’t realize how on edge you were that you finished your drink before you knew it, apparently someone noticed

“Whoa, slow down there, might regret it tomorrow” Zed’s voice startled you

“Oh, yeah… long day” you shrugged your shoulders. What else could you say? Admit that you drunk that in one go just so you could tolerate his crowd?

“Bet it was” he smiled and passed you a shot glass “Take a shot with me?” He offered

“With pleasure” you down the drink with him

“So, I guess I’m going to have to get used to you being around from now on” he chuckled

“You say it like it is a bad thing” Maybe it was, maybe these kids didn’t want to hang out with outsiders. If you were being honest with yourself, you felt insecure. You don’t know why, you just did.

“No, not at all, on the contrary, I’m really enjoying it” he flashed you another smile.

Zed was good company and it turned out, knew a lot about all manner of foods, cheeses, wines, and fruits. After he told you his dream was to open a 5 star restaurant in Hashfield, you two started talking about you favorite recipes, and before you knew it, started arguing about the tinniest of things “Crepes are strictly made with 1 egg other wise they’re too eggy” he’d tried to convince you “what if I like mine too eggy? What if that’s the point?” You’d replied back, the alcohol in you system making you a bit too angry about this subject than what was probably appropriate. “Why don’t you eat an omelette then?” He’d teased back.

While Zed was explaining something about the benefits of eating oatmeal every morning, your eyes started wondering unconsciously somewhere behind him, where they suddenly met Taehyung’s. Was he starring at you this whole time? Good. He should see just how fine you’re getting along with the insiders. He should see how wrong he was about you, you want him to be wrong, he has to be wrong. Otherwise you don’t know what you’ll do with yourself the fist semester. Now that you’ve decided to go to Hashfield you can’t back down from all of this.

You laugh on purpose at a joke Zed just cracked—you’re not sure what he said, to be honest, Zed’s humor was not the best. But you knew Taehyung was looking at you this whole time, you don’t need to look at him to know that he probably had that annoying smirk of his painted all over his face. (Maybe you took a sneak peek at him, maybe your eyes locked for a second and maybe the way he blinked at you when you were smiling made you pause so you could register what had just happened) Your stare returns on Zed as you slightly push his shoulder “You’re so funny” you laugh again.

God, was this how low you’d go? Put on a mask and lie in order for Taehyung to see? You down another drink. This night was going to be long.

•••

Celine definitely said the bathroom was around here somewhere. All these damn doors looked way too much alike, who even needs so many rooms in one house? And oh my god what a house, you’d never thought you’d enter a palace-like place before, but here you were, drunk and out of your mind, disparately trying to find a quiet place to chill for a moment—because if you had to sit through another horse racing conversation you’d blow your brains out.

You open a big door to your left, hoping you’ve made the right choice. You take a step inside, compelled by its aesthetic. You watched as the August moon filtered through the bay windows and played on the oriental carpets. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol effecting your judgement, but this place sure looked more like an anthropologist museum than a house. The shelves were packed with religious artifacts from around the world and a few old classical novels.

As you take a closer look, you notice you’re not alone. Fucking Kim Taehyung. You curse in your mind. You’d seen him at some point going upstairs with some girl and you hadn’t laid eyes upon him since. That was about an hour ago, you hoped he didn’t get the wrong idea that you’d followed him here. He was sat alone, in front of the windows, absently gazing into the blue sea that could be seen crystal clear from this altitude. Just when you thought you could quietly exit without him noticing, his low voice shattered the silence of the room “Didn’t think you’d actually come” He said, his gaze still fixed outside.

You figured he was talking about you attending the party “You don’t know me well enough then” you answered him, but did you even know you well enough? Because a month ago you wouldn’t even consider coming to a party like this, filled with insiders who haven’t had a day of struggle in their lives. Not that struggling is a good thing, nobody deserves to struggle with their lives, but we all do in some or other ways. Struggling means growing up, facing things, learning. These kids had everything in their plate since the day they were born. Why did that anger you so much? Life being unfair has been a long known fact to you. You’re used to life being unfair considering you lived in Outfield.

Your answer makes him finally turn his head towards you, how could such dim lighting compliment a face so well? You ponder. “I know you like your coffee sweet, which means you don’t really enjoy the taste of coffee, really. Maybe you drink it because society tells you it’s the appropriate drink to have during a cold winter morning. Or maybe, you drink it because it gives you the energy it takes to wake up when you don’t have the will power to do it yourself. Either way, you do something you don’t actually like, you just like the benefits it gives you.”

You look at him in utter bewilderment as he starts pacing towards you along with a wave of alcohol scent that reaches your nostrils.

“I also know you don’t actually like Zed, you simply talk to him because Seokjin can’t be the only insider you have contact with during college. You see him as a social investment, a pawn you can use to make yourself look like you have insider friends. You’re not stupid, you obviously know his interest in you is not all too friendly, yet you’re willing to play along in order to achieve what you want.” He chuckled “Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m right”

Because of the alcohol in you system, his words took a long moment to register, it was like you had been hit by a truck, barely able to believe your ears. It pained you to admit he wasn’t wrong one tiny bit. But you hated agreeing with him and anything he did, so you find a way to refute his argument “Zed is entertaining, fun to be around. What do you know anyway?” You scoffed

“I find him arrogant, dull, flat-footed, and coarse. He uses cheap humor and a lot of voice with broad gestures to nudge people because he is totally incapable of arguing a case. But you probably know that already, don’t you?” He said as his lips curl into a small smile.

“Well I don’t believe that’s true. Your opinion of him can’t be a fact.” At this point, you were simply disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. You couldn’t care less about defending Zed, what you did care about was Taehyung not one upping you in any way possible. Which was kind of embarrassing, but you blame the few tequila shots for that.

“Please” he jeered “If you look at him when you’re speaking, he always looks away, he’s not listening, he’s just itching to say things he’s rehearsed while you were speaking and wants to say before he forgets them.”

You frowned your eyebrows “How could anyone intuit the manner of someone’s thinking unless he himself was already familiar with the same mode of thinking? How can you perceive so many devious turns in him unless you had practiced them yourself? Maybe you’re just describing yourself, Kim Taehyung”

In reality, you were surprised, not just by his amazing gift for reading people, for rummaging inside them and digging out the precise configuration of their personality, but also by his ability to intuit things in exactly the way you yourself might have intuited them

Taehyung laughed, maybe because he could also read right through you right now “Maybe you’re right” he says, and you’re caught off guard when he agrees with you, especially because you yourself don’t even agree with the things you just stated. “At the end of the day, maybe we all are judgmental assholes”

You smiled at his last comment, not necessarily because you liked it, but rather because the way he said it was funny to you, Kim Taehyung was drunk, you could tell by the way his eyes couldn’t fixate on one thing at a time. He immediately caught your smile. And having caught it, smiled back “didn’t know you could find me amusing”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself” you immediately reply, clearly shaken up a bit. “I just agree that you’re definitely a judgmental asshole” you were too much on your guard to answer him with candor

Both of your eyes quickly jumped to your phone when a text message notification went off

“That’s probably your boyfriend looking for you” he teased

“You’re calling Zed my boyfriend now?” You rolled your eyes

“I’m talking about Seokjin”

“Jin?” You echoed his words, your head still kind of heavy because of the alcohol “Jin is like a brother to me”

“Ouch.” He pressed his palm on his chest “brotherzoned. That’s gotta be tough”

“Oh shut up” you protested and checked the text.

Jin: Yo, I just threw up all the pasta I had for dinner. I think it’s time we left

You unconsciously smile at your phone, imagining Jin throwing up in front of all his ‘friends’ must have been a traumatic and embarrassing event.

“Look at that, the brother made you smile, maybe he has chances after all” Taehyung suddenly comments.

“Why are you so interested in me, Kim Taehyung? You’re more than welcome to fuck off” you figure that maybe the choice of words was a bit too much considering you were having a somewhat chilled conversation. But to be frank, it’s nothing compared to the things Taehyung has said to you in the past, so no, you don’t feel guilty one bit.

“Whoah I didn’t even say anything this time” he complained

“You don’t have to, you remain an asshole no matter what you do” You hissed, and as you made a movement to open the door behind you, you immediately felt Taehyung’s hand on your arm

“You don’t talk to me like that” he breathed “ don’t you dare..-“

“What? Do exactly what you’ve been doing for years?” you barked “Doesn’t feel good, does it? Being treated like shit when you don’t deserve it.” A wave of memories came crushing down. Taehyung spilling water on you because he thought your clothes looked cheap, that time he made his friend act all nice to you and lure you into thinking he actually liked you when in reality it was all a foolish prank he’d set up. “You’re so mean, so awful, you think you’re better than outsiders just because your daddy has more money than us. Well guess what, your mum is a fucking outsider Kim Taehyung, do you think she’s as worthless and as hopeless as the rest of us?” you crowed, scorn lacing your tone.

You saw his expression falter for a second, but you wouldn’t let yourself feel bad for him, not after having treated you the way he had. You remember how everytime time you’d gone to the club he’d hung out he kept being the biggest douchebag to you and your friends “the worst thing about outsider clubs is the outsiders”. He used to say to you, unasked. “don’t come then” you’d replied back “keep wearing that attitude and I might build a house in Outfield just for the fun of it” he’d teased you.

He thought he owned the world, he thought he owned people. And that made your insides twist. You shake yourself off of his tight grip “Don’t fucking touch me again in your life” you spat

“Look at you” Taehyung bellowed “You think you’ve changed now that you got into Hashfield college? You think suddenly people will treat you differently just because you made it to the life inside the wall?”

You avoid his eyes, your body still turned away from him.

“Look at me” he orders and for some weird reason, you listen. That’s what you’d always do, listen to him. You’d never raised your voice at him before tonight. And it took all the tequila possible to achieve that. As much as you hated to admit it, he always found ways to make you weak. “You really believe Zed would be talking to you had you not been accepted? You think any of them would even care to look your way?” he sounded angry

“You’re incredible, you know that? You think everyone thinks like you because you’re that self centered. Wake up Taehyung, not everything is about you. Thank god for that.”

“You really wanna know what I think?” He came closer and leaned down, his nose almost touching yours. His expression grossly alluring “I think you’re a terrible liar.”

“Wha-what do you mean?” you hate yourself for stuttering, but you couldn’t help it. For some odd reason, you felt your heart rate increase

“You don’t want to be here. You don’t want this life. Why are you trying so hard to live it then? That’s what I can’t wrap my head around”

“Why do you care what I do? Why does it bother you so damn much?”

He shook his head “I don’t fucking know.”

Before Taehyung was able to continue his sentence the door behind you swung open. “Dude, I’ve been looking everywhere for you, I got worried” Jin’s voice startled you, resulting in you immediately pushing Taehyung away. An enigmatic look on Jin’s face. You knew how bad the whole thing looked, Taehyung being so close to you, in a room nobody else was in. Things could easily be miss understood. “Is everything ok y/n?” Jin said, clearly worried.

“Everything’s fine. Taehyung just- He needed some advice because he thought he left a girl pregnant” you couldn’t control your cheeky smile when you said that.

“What?” Taehyung sounded almost embarrassed

“It’s okay Tae, Jin’s a friend, he won’t say anything, will you Jin?”

Jin’s eyes widened “No-yeah, don’t worry man, all good” he looked at him awkwardly

“No, I didn’t-“

“So nice talking to you Taehyung, but me and Jin have to go” you interrupt him, you can’t lie, the way he was looking at you (like he was about to kill you) amused you a little too much “Oh and don’t forget, if it does turn out positive a little lemon with baking soda will do the trick! Bye now!”

The last thing you saw was Taehyung’s O shaped mouth and his intense glare right after.

“The way I see it, girl, he’s just obsessed with you” Mina said.

You’d explained everything that happened last night. Well, not technically everything. You omitted the fact that you felt your breathing go weak when he touched you. You failed to mention how you could still smell his cologne in your nostrils. It had to have been the alcohol that made you like that, no part of you wanted him, you were sure of that. Taehyung is the last person you’d have feelings for—well, feelings that don’t involve killing him. And you’re sure it was mutual. Taehyung hated being around you as much as you did, but Mina kept insisting otherwise.

“I’m telling you y/n, Kim Taehyung has a thing for you”

“No, he doesn’t.” Because if, in the tiniest possibility, he did, you wouldn’t know how to mentally handle it.

Mina would go on teasing you the whole week about it. Every time you’d stumbled across him and his friends when they crossed the wall (a thing they did very often because, how else were they supposed to get weed?) he would glance at you and Mina wouldn’t hesitate to make a big deal out of it. “There he goes again with the sneaky little looks”she’d whispered but you’d ignored her, and him.

Days passed mindlessly, the only real concern in your mind being the first day of college which was right around the corner. The last days of summer, also, your birthday. Today was all about you and you weren’t particularly excited about it. By late morning, friends and neighbors from adjoining houses frequently dropped in, giving you wishes and small presents, mostly books, everyone knew you were more into reading than anything else. By the time the sun was burning hot, your friends had gathered in your house’s small garden and then headed out together to the beach below. Your house was the closest to the water, all you needed was to open the tiny gate by the balustrade (that had been there since before world war 2 judging by the looks of it) then take the narrow stairway down the bluff, and you were on the beach.

Your favorite place. Why? No wall on the beach. Nothing separating you and them. When at the beach, everyone was the same. It was miles long and covered half of Outfield and almost the entirety of Hashfield. Insiders didn’t go to the beach often, partly because they all had pools in their back yards and partly because they didn’t enjoy the unity. They knew that once they stepped foot in the sand, they were equal to you, outsiders. You bet they hated the mere thought of that.

You remember one time, exactly a year ago, you’d come down to the beach to read. During the end of summer it got quite, and you found that the waves hitting on the shore made the perfect background music for reading. After a while you’d noticed a male figure pacing alongside the waves, a book on his hand that he wasn’t reading anymore, because his eyes were locked towards you. It was Kim Taehyung.

You stared at each other for a little too long, maybe thinking about the same thing;what in the world are you doing here? You sighted, looking down at your feet. Contemplating. You hated the fact that your brains functioned in the same way. Even the book he was holding was a book you’d read no less than a week ago.

“Y/n?” He was suddenly standing next to you, breaking the silence

“Yes?”

“What are you doing here?” He’d asked, like he hadn’t seen the book you were holding on for dear life because you didn’t know what else you were supposed to do with your hands when he was near you.

“Reading” you simply replied

“No, you’re not”

“Thinking, then.”

“About?” He’d smiled

You, Kim Taehyung, and the enigma that you seem to be. “What do you care anyway?”

“I don’t, I just thought it was polite to ask”

“Since when do you care about being polite? I’m pretty sure I heard you call me an outsider rat the other day” It was true, he had, he yelled that right after you ‘accidentally’ spilled Coke on his favorite gucci t-shirt. So what? It’s not like he couldn’t buy another one, or a dozen, for that matter.

He smiled as he sat down next to you “You ruined my favorite shirt.”

“I’m sure you’ll get over it” you got up immediately, sitting next to him had not been in your list that day

Why are you thinking about that day? Why are you thinking about him? What’s wrong with you?

“y/n what do you say? Celine or Jiyeon?” Namjoon’s voice woke you up. You realized you hadn’t paid a single bit of attention to what they were talking about.

You shake your head “I’m sorry, what about Celine and Jiyeon?”

“Birthday girl wake up!” Jin scolded you “Celine and Jiyeon both asked me to go to the September Ball with them!”

“Oh, uhm, Celine? I don’t know, she seemed cool, I don’t really know a whole lot about Jiyeon”

“Yeah but Jiyeon is a double D at least” Namjoon chuckled

“You’re disgusting!” Mina slapped him on the shoulder

Jin laughed “Y/n, Who are you going with anyway?”

You let an ‘Oh’ slip your mouth, as you realize Zed had asked you to go with him, and you didn’t really know what a September Ball was to begin with, so you just said yes without thinking twice about it. But from the looks of it, maybe you shouldn’t have. “Zed asked me-“

“Man, y’all are going to end up dating the way I see it” Jin teased

That’s exactly what you didn’t want people to assume. You had zero interest in dating someone right now, let alone an insider. You shouldn’t have given Zed the wrong idea by accepting to go to the dance with him. “It’s not like that, Zed’s a friend”

“Y/n, you don’t go to the September ball with ‘friends’” he made quotation marks with his fingers “If you really don’t fancy him in that way you have a terrible way of showing it”

“Oh whatever, we’re not here to talk about insiders! To the birthday girl!” Mina raised her beer can high

“I’m guessing this is not the kind of ball you were expecting” Zed’s voice startled you. As he’d excused himself to go get you drinks, your eyes had started traveling unconsciously around the room. Well, not really a room. This place looked like one of those Great Halls a palace would have. A question you seemed to ask yourself a lot these days;what are you doing here? Just by mere guessing, Celines dress could pay off 3 months worth of rent for your house. You’d looked down at your dress, not half as fancy as the ones every other girl was wearing.

“What gave it away?” an uncontrollable awkward chuckle escaped your lips.

“You look like a lost puppy” he smiled and handed you a flute glass filled with some kind of white sparkling wine. “Here, this will hopefully help”

“Y/n, Zed! There you are!” Celine pretended to have spotted you for the first time, when in reality, you two locked eyes for a brief moment when Zed was still at the bar.

“Looking good y/n” Jin teased and Celines eyes immediately gave him a glare, he didn’t notice though. Jin is terrible at catching social cues. Especially from women.

“Is that Chanel?” Celine asked, looking at your dress.

“No, it’s- Its not designer” you try your best not to look embarrassed, you knew she probably asked that question on purpose.

“Designer or not you look amazing in it” Zed commented with a smile

“Thanks” you gifted him a light pat on the shoulder.

In annoyance at the entire situation, your eyes had narrowed slightly as you took a sip of your drink, before glancing at Kim Taehyung, only to find he was already looking at you.

He was wearing what seemed to be a perfectly tailored suit—not a centimeter longer or shorter than it needed to be. After a second of heavy eye contact, he returned his attention to the giggling girls that surrounded him like you were nothing but a leaf blowing by. You let out the breath you were holding. You knew he was popular, but seeing it up close made you want to puke.

After an hour of shallow conversation and the tinniest bit of dancing(which was weird because, from your understanding, that was what a ball was all about) you thought you’d make your way to the bar to refill your drink for what seemed to be the 10th time that night. Alcohol was the sole thing that made these insiders bearable.

On your way to the bar, a passing hand grabbed your arm and pulled you into his embrace. You look up shocked when you meet Taehyung’s eyes.

“Dance with me, outsider” he said, already moving you around against your will.

“I’m not a toy” you tried to push him off

“Oh come on, just one dance, it’s not going to hurt”

“Pretty sure it will” you roll your eyes

As a corner of his lips lifted, you realized you were amusing him. Your cheeks heated with annoyance. Before you could murmur some kind of swear word he dragged you all the way to the center, and you were quickly surrounded by a bunch of people dancing around.

Yet, strangely, it felt like it was only the two of you there.

“Happy late birthday by the way” his words almost made you gasp. How did he even remember it was your birthday?

“Surprised you remembered” you tried to sound indifferent

“It’s easy to remember, it’s always towards the end of summer, isn’t it? You’d told me you wished it was during winter because you liked that season better”

“You remember that!?” You couldn’t even mask your surprise this time.

“Mmhm”

“I told you that like half our lives ago” The fact that there was a time when Taehyung and you were friends still felt strange to you.

“Doubt you’d remember anything about me” he said as if he was whining

As much as you hate to admit it, you remember painfully everything about the young boy you used to hang out with. Which is what makes the new him even more terrible to be around. “It’s been years since you and me talked, besides, what does it matter? You’re like a completely different person now” you said firmly

“Stole my date, I see” Zed’s voice pierced your ears

Taehyung’s smile immediately dropped “All yours”

Taehyung gave you a deep stare that turned your breath shallow. He moved to walk past you but stopped by your side. His arm touched yours and it burned like the lightest licks of flame. He leaned slightly down, his voice brushing the side of your neck “You think you’re the same y/n? Everyone changes, don’t pretend to be a saint when you’re exactly where you’d said you’d never be. Maybe the wall ain’t too bad after all, right?” he whispered before he disappeared into the dancing crowd.

Everything was a big blur, all you remember from the after party was you dancing with Jin on top of an all black Range Rover. Damn these insiders did not know how to party properly. You’d think they did considering the amount of drugs that party had, but no. Everyone was too busy minding the other’s business.

You take a big sip from the vodka bottle you were holding—where did you even get this? But most importantly, where the fuck were you? This place seemed like a small bar, but there was no bartender, only a few drunk insiders passed out on some fancy red armchairs.

“Long night from the looks of it” a familiar male voice commented, his words not making a lot of sense in your brain due to the slight headache all that vodka had caused you.

Your vision blurry from squinting too much “Hey uhm, where- where am I?”

The male voice laughed “y/n, are you alright? You don’t look so good”

After a minute of looking down, trying to pull yourself together, you finally meet his heavy gaze. Kim Taehyung. Light brown eyes, the color of whiskey on ice, and thick, dark lashes. It gave him a brooding expression, almost as if he was looking into the sun. “I don’t know where I am”

“This is the sober corner. Don’t ask me about the name, I didn’t come up with it. Thankfully”

“The..sober..what?” You shake your head “I’m pretty sure no one in here is sober”

“Yeah,no that’s the point. This is where you go to catch a breath and sober up. Your boyfriend probably dropped you here for a bit because you were a pain in his ass. Not a gentleman move if you ask me” he teased

“People are supposed to sober up here? Why don’t they just go home?” you queried. Why did everything have to be so different inside the wall?

“Y/n, if I go home pissed drunk and my maid sees me, then I’ll wake up to my face decorating the cover of every magazine your local shop sells. No scandals are aloud in Hashfield”

“Well that just sounds awfully inconvenient” you blabbed and blinked once, your eyes feeling heavy. Your stare moved from his eyes to his mouth. Plump cherry lips. Like he had just taken a sip from an expensive rosé and it had left a stain.

“You know” you pause, your head spinning as you stared at his lips “You have a very kissable mouth” you said without really thinking a second more of it.

“Enough vodka for today, don’t you think?” he tried to take your bottle

“I’m not even drunk!” You clutched the bottle of absolute closer to you. Unease drifted through your entire body like a kindled flame. A sudden realization hits;you were no longer in a foyer filled with people but in a small bar with a couple of drunk insiders. It was so quiet that all you could hear was your heart beating in your chest.

“You’re not?” His voice was a low rumble—somewhere between amusement and danger. He leaned against you, you swear you caught his eyes staring at your lips for a split second before they focused on your pupils. “Then what’s your excuse?”

“My excuse?” You looked at him like a lost puppy, your death grip on the bottle loosened.

“Mm.” He murmured, tucking a finger beneath your chin “Your excuse for thinking you can get away with saying something like that to me”

“Oh.” You felt your cheeks burn red. God. You had just told Kim Taehyung he had a very kissable mouth, hadn't you? The sudden realization of your actions hit you in the face like a car going way above the speed limit. What kind of idiot move was that? Of course, it was true. Otherwise such blatant facts wouldn't just slip out while you were staring at those exquisitely kissable...Oh my god get a hold of yourself! You hated this dude. Why do you feel the need to keep reminding yourself of that lately? Your gaze snapped back to his eyes, when you bit down on your lip, you noticed Taehyung glanced at your mouth.

Okay, yes, you were probably a little tipsy. Yes, you could technically pretend you had absolutely no idea what you were doing. But you did. Sure, your reactions might’ve been a bit slower than usual, but you were fully aware of everything. Just like you were fully aware of how Kim Taehyung was trying to cover up how flustered he was because of you right now. This is a fun game, you think. “You know…” you begin, jutting your chin up “I wasn't really planning to get away with anything. Thought maybe you'd find a creative way to shut me up."

You saw his expression flickering, no doubt registering your intent and deliberation. This was a first, you’d never thought your words could make Taehyung like that, all dark and heated. "A few ideas did cross my mind," he mused, after a moment. "But, you see, given you're drunk...."

“Oh now you care about ethics?” Ridiculous, you knew Taehyung was with a different girl every week, you also knew for a fact he didn’t only do them sober.

“No, not ethics”

“Then what? You care about me?Aw”

“Not you.” He huffed “Well, you, I suppose. In a way” he stuttered.

You raised a brow. Your faces had unconsciously ended up closer to each other by time, there were now only a few centimeters between you and him “In a way?” You echoed his words

“Yeah…” he looked at you dead in the eyes “The way in which...when you end up in my bed, you will be of clear mind and sanity, so that you can't pretend you begged my name for any reason other than that you wanted to”

You gulp. Your mouth dry. Was he implying what you thought you he was implying? You tried to come up with something to say, anything, it didn’t even have to be snappy, or clever, just something. Otherwise, the silence between you would probably give you away—which was why anything, even the most spluttered nonsense, was preferable to silence. Silence would expose how flustered you were and how you subtly squeezed your thighs together because you felt something tingle. “It was just a statement of fact, you know”

Taehyung reared back “What?”

“That you have a kissable mouth.” Your eyes gleamed “Just a statement of fact. Very objective. You’re the one who took that and just had to make it sexual. Something on your mind there?”

He opened his mouth “I don’t know, should there be?”

Should there be? Did you want something to be there? And if you did, why wouldn’t you show it? Because you were too afraid of what might happen then? Or were you afraid he would have laughed at you, told everyone, or enjoy the whole thing on the pretext you were just another outsider falling for his scheme?

“Maybe” you say, when you want to say ‘yes’ and you hope he thinks it’s a ‘no’ but what you really mean is ‘Please, just kiss me’

The most humiliating part about this, is that, you can’t blame it on the alcohol anymore. You had sobered up, and every centimeter of your body wanted him. You hoped he would just grab your hand, not ask any questions, and just do you on the back-sit of that enormous car of his.

Something amused and dangerous played in Taehyung’s gaze. He leaned in “Maybe?” He repeated, his lips curling up into a small smile “Don’t play games y/n, I know you want me”

Your heart fluttered so fast it couldn’t be healthy. You had no idea what to say because he was right. And you couldn’t even hide it at this point because this whole interaction wasn’t doing anything to prove the opposite. One side of your brain begged for an ounce of touch from him. The other wanted you to start running as far away as possible. “Kim Taehyung, why would you ever think I’d want you?” You managed to say, with the little courage you had left.

“Oh y/n…” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine. “Just the way my name rolls off your pretty little tongue confirms it”

Taehyung leaned down immediately after saying that, capturing your bottom lip between his teeth. You suck in a quick breath, the feel of his mouth on yours sending arousal pooling deep in your core. He tasted sweet, in spite of his bitter attitude.

He was passionate—maybe a little more than you’d expected.

You took a step forward, stroking a hand over his chest. His muscles tight under your palm. Taehyung responded by resting one hand on the back of your neck, and licking his tongue across your lips tentatively as if he was asking for entrance. You willingly opened your mouth for Taehyung’s searching tongue, sucking on it lightly.

This shouldn’t feel so fucking good.

You moved your hands to his shoulders, digging your fingers in lightly. Showing him just how much you enjoyed his touch. As you moved your body even closer, you felt something pressing into your hipbone.

You broke off the kiss, looking down to see his clothed rigid length pressed against you. You formed a grin, knowing you made him hard just by kissing him was a big win in your book. This all felt like a game. He started opening his mouth as if to deliver some sort of excuse, but you immediately interrupted him

“Hard already?” You teased, why were you so excited about this whole thing?

Taehyung raised his eyebrow”Put away that smile” he grabbed you by the waist “I bet if I slipped my hand inside your panties right now it would come out soaked. You’re just lucky you can hide yours”

Before you could come up with a snappy comment he leaned forward to capture your lips in a brief, reassuring kiss, then pulled away

You looked up at him. To think that you had almost fallen for the skin of his hands, his chest that seemed smoother than even your own—and his eyes, which, when their other, kinder gaze fell on you, came like the miracle of a warm Christmas morning inside your blankets. That kind of gaze. You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn’t.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, and you guessed you were probably sitting there, in silence, starring at him for longer than you’d realized.

“Nothing I-uh” you stuttered. Knowing damn well you couldn’t admit to him that you were thinking about how angelic he looked staring down at you. “There’s people here, I don’t think we should-“

“We are just kissing. Are you that embarrassed about kissing me?”

“No, not at all, I like kissing you, a lot” That was out of your mouth before you could stop it, and you instantly wished you could reach out and take your words back.

Suddenly, the slightest bit of amusement came to life in his eyes as if you’d just done a trick that entertained him. He trailed one hand down your chest, across your stomach, then trailed a single finger inside your underwear. Somehow, he immediately found your sweet spot, and without hesitation pressed down on it, resulting in a moan escaping your lips.

He smiled to himself “God, I could hear this sound all day” he came closer and softly grabbed your hair with his other hand. You moaned again when he pushed another finger inside of you. “Fuck” he breathed and locked his lips with yours.

The sensation was insane. If his fingers made you feel like this, you’re scared of how his dick was going to feel like. This man was dangerous.

“Tae, stop, there’s people here”

His motion stopped immediately, his eyes remained fixed at yours “Tae?” He smiled as he bit down on his bottom lip “You haven’t called me that in ages” There was something in his voice He was panting and flushed

Your cheeks colored for some reason. ‘Tae’ was a nickname you’d call him back when you were still close friends. “We can’t do this. Not here” you completely ignored his comments.

“All of them are passed out, they can’t see us” you felt his hand squeeze your thigh “I can’t control myself”

You found it extremely difficult to breath properly. You hoped he couldn’t hear your loud heartbeat “They could wake up any time now”

He took your hand and guided it to his rock hard erection. “You feel this?” He trailed his fingertips down your neck and along your collarbone. “You need to do something about it.” You didn’t know someone’s voice could go so low and be so deep “If you take care of me, I promise I’ll take care of you as well” His fingers traveled down to your breast. His touch was too light for you, and you unconsciously pressed forward, needy of him.

“You think taking care of me is an easy task?” You scoff

A side smile appeared on his perfect face “Y/n..” the way he breathed your name sent shivers down your spine “Just get on your knees for me, will you?” His eyes fell to your lips.

Without a second to spare you dropped to your knees and yanked Taehyung’s pants all the way down to his ankles

“Good girl” The words were deep and soft, and a strange part of you felt like you’d done something good. Something that was worth praising over.

When his dick was finally naked, you swallowed him down all the way to his base. Taehyung let out a loud moan from the rapidity of the action. You guessed your absence of a gag reflex came as a surprise to him. You hummed around his dick, sending vibrations up his body, you looked up to be greeted with Taehyung’s head jerked back, his neck muscles very prominent. Tightly, he gripped your hair and he started bobbing your head up and down his dick, quickening his pace then slowing it down again before you finally pulled back with shiny lips

“Are you gonna fuck my mouth?” you asked him with hooded eyes

“You want me to do all the work?” He replied cheekily before guiding your head back to his dick, you obliged and opened your mouth to take him in. You started with shallow thrusts, not even half way covering his dick.

Picking up the pace, Taehyung forced his dick in further until he was continuously hitting the back of your throat. He gripped your hair tighter and held your face against his abdomen before releasing you, leaving you gasping for breath. He did this a few more times before pulling out completely. He stared at your slick lips and flushed face for a moment before pulling you up and hungrily kissing you. You responded eagerly, sticking your tongue into his mouth and licking around the inside. Taehyung’s mouth made its way over to the side of your jaw sucking on the skin roughly and pulled your head back to expose more of your hot skin. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and inhaled deeply, taking in your scent. He began sucking again, tasting every centimeter of your skin and you swear time froze right there and then. When he felt he’d left a satisfying enough hickey he pulled your strapless dress down just enough for your breasts to show and he began leaving wet kisses and light bite marks down your chest.

“God, you’re so fucking hot” he mumbled while his mouth was still on your skin 

When his face finally met yours, you bit down on his bottom lip before kneeling down again. God, Taehyung not only had a perfect face, he also had a perfect dick. It was long and thick and you loved the heaviness of it in your mouth. You ran your hands experimentally up his length, already gaining a moan from him, and lord, how much you loved his moans. They were low and rough and they conveyed his enjoyment in a miraculous way. You continued to twist your hand upward and placed a kiss on the underside of his head. Precome dribbled out. That was another thing that you loved about Taehyung’s dick, he had a lot of precome. You marveled as the thin liquid dribbled over the head a little before leaning in to lick the small stream. The salty taste coated your tongue, though not as strong as cum.

“Y/n…” you heard Taehyung moaning above you, you looked up at him through your eyelashes, noticing how attractive Taehyung looked with the expression of lust painted all over his face.

“Yeah..?” You ask devilishly like you didn’t already know all that teasing was killing him.

“Put it in your fucking mouth” he drawled

You smiled and swiped your tongue all the way from Taehyung’s perineum to the tip. Taehyung let out a loud groan. Without warning, you sucked him down all the way to the base and held your head there for a few seconds before pulling back with a small gasp. You went down again, and then another time. You repeated that movement until you felt tears in your eyes, your throat could feel the impact, but you kept going.

“Fuck… just like that” he hissed and his words only made you hornier. You kept swallowing him all the way over and over, gulping and making all sorts of sounds because his dick was too big for your mouth. “Are you gonna eat my cum? Do you want it?”

You knew you’d swallow it anyway, but the way he was talking to you made you want to do it even more “yes, please” you begged

Taehyung pulled back slightly and grabbed his dick. There was no taking this time, Taehyung stroked hard and fast chasing his own orgasm. You opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out as you waited for his cum.

“Fuck, you look so good doing that” his speech sloppy, you knew he was extremely close. He moaned you name loudly before white ropes bursted out of his cock, landing directly on your mouth. Several more bursts of cum followed and when he was finished he looked down at your liquid covered lips. “You look like you were made to take my cum” he huffed.

“Maybe I was..” you slowly stand up again and Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to pull you in for another passionate kiss.

“I promised I’d take care of you…” he whispered and you felt your ear tingle. He picked you up and laid you down on this red armchair that was hiding behind the bar. The fact that there were people sleeping, passed out a few meters away from you made you even hornier for some reason, like you were doing something forbidden trying not to get caught.

The fact that you were wearing a dress made this whole thing a lot easier. Taehyung simply pulled your dress up just enough to expose your clothed heat. You laid back and sheepishly spread your legs open. Taehyung generously gave your thighs small kisses leading to your core.

“God, you look so good spread out like that, just for me”

You just wanted to scream at him, Take my underwear off, please, right now. You were so needy it was embarrassing. But you’ve been dripping for too long… and it was all his fault. You’d heard he was good when it came to sex, there was not a single girlfriend group that didn’t absolutely drool over him. But you didn’t expect this. He was rough yet gentle and you had only sucked his dick but you felt as if he had been penetrating you for hours. The power he had over your body was scary. Each time you’d reached his balls with your mouth you’d felt your vagina whining, fill me up, please. You wanted him to satisfy all your holes, not just your mouth, and you knew if you asked him he would, but even doing oral felt dangerous with him, you couldn’t possibly imagine what sex would be like.

You still couldn’t grasp the picture of Taehyung’s face in between your legs. He took one pale, slender finger of his and pulled your underwear down, and the thought that you were exposed in front of him made your head dizzy like no amount of alcohol could. 

You covered your face and whimpered as you just wanted Taehyung to do whatever he pleased to you already. Even going as far as opening your legs more and bucking your hips forward. Taehyung smirked when he saw how needy you were, but you didn’t care, you just wanted his mouth to start working. Taehyung gave you a look before he leaned down on your heat. Tasting every last drop of your arousal. The spark of lips touching on lips made you moan loudly into the open air and hold Taehyung’s head down as an unconscious response.

You took a sneak peak of his face, his eyes glowing with desire even in the poor lighting, tongue poking out to swipe at your hungry, quivering lips. You sighed and leaned into his touch as his thumb rubbed gentle circles into the skin of your cheek. This is a sight you’d pay for. He run his tongue over every centimeter of your pussy simply savoring the flavor. He lapped through your folds slowly, collecting every drop of your slick on his tongue as he groaned into you.

The pit of your stomach was so tense. You’ve never felt like this before.

Was he enjoying all this as much as you did? Were you just one of those girls he used to pass time with? Whatever this thing was, you feel you got sucked into it way more than you initially expected, but your fears were set to rest for a moment when you looked down, saw his eyes roll back into his head and could feel him moan into your clit as he sucked it.

He enjoyed this. There was no doubt in your mind now. The way he was swallowing all of your juices confirmed it.

“You taste so freaking good” his voice sounded hungry, and you bet he was hard again. “You’re so wet you almost drowned me” you catch him smiling to himself.

He used two fingers to caress your g spot and rolled your clit with his other hand. You could tell he was experienced, you had to fight as not to come. You wanted this to last as long as possible.

He kissed his way back to your slit and as he pulled his fingers from inside you he growled against your clit “I want you to come for me…Only for me”

Fuck, every time he would open his mouth you could feel your heartbeat increasing. Why was he doing all of this to you? Why was he making you so worked up over him? With each passing lick, suck, and slurp, you couldn’t contain yourself in your lust. You were in heaven. It honestly hadn’t been your plan to end up in this situation, your legs spread and Kim Taehyung working you with his tongue like he was right now. Every movement that was placed just right let a spark of utter pleasure run through your body and it became hotter and hotter with every moment that passed.

“Oh fuck Taehyung, I’m so close” you cried.

What you hadn’t notice was that Taehyung had started stroking his cock with his free hand, which explains why his movement started becoming uncoordinated and sloppy. Was he so turned on from eating you out? The image of him jerking of while his tongue was wandering around your pussy made you even hornier for him.

“Ah Taehyung” you moan loudly “I swear I could play with your cock all day.” You could tell your words had effect on him by the way he groaned “I love the silky feel of the skin when it’s hard. It’s so solid, and the way it pressed against the sides of my mouth—fuck” you scream when his tongue started pressing down on your clit, exactly in the place where you needed it to.

“God damn it y/n, you’re going to make me come again so hard”

His low voice was music to your ears. The way he’d drawled your name, the way he pronounced every syllable, it made your legs start to tremble. Soon enough, your breathing became more erratic and shorter as you felt your climax approaching. You could slightly see his shiny cock dripping from precum. Taehyung’s hand going up and down faster than the best racing horse these insiders supported. His breathy growls tipped you over the edge. You felt the tension in you stomach finally releasing, a cocktail of your screams and Taehyung’s moans as you both came hard, rubbing tight circles around your throbbing clit to prolong the intense orgasm that washed over you.

Taehyung crawled on top of you, probably as tired as you were. He rested his body on top of yours for a minute, as you both caught your breaths. The pair of you hot and sweaty, having experienced a constant battle against your orgasms until you finally gave up. This felt surreal. You’ve never finished so satisfyingly in your life before.

“Fuck, that was so good” you see him still trying to calm down from his high. “Hope these fellas don’t wake up anytime soon, i don’t think I’m willing to get up just yet”

“Same. I just need a minute. I can’t feel my legs”

He smirked at you “Yeah, sorry about that” you felt his right hand brush along your thigh “and to think I didn’t even fuck you” his stare dropped to your lips

“Keep dreaming” you flashed him a smile

-Taehyung P.O.V

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at your lips as you were fixing your dress. Your lips were so soft. Like he’d never kissed a girl with lips as soft as yours before. Taehyung had to resist the urge to move a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. He wished he could read your mind with ease like he did with other people he knew, figure out if you wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you right this instant. He didn’t want to make things even more intimate that they already ended up being. You both wanted some kind of release, and now that you got it, Taehyung should already be on his way out instead of looking at you like some idiot that didn’t know his place.

“Keep dreaming”

What the fuck did you mean by that? Were you that appalled by him that you wouldn’t even dare give him a chance for something more?

The way you were looking at him right now made him lean in a little closer. Was it his imagination or were you leaning in a bit as well? That made him feel brave enough to gently press his fingers under your chin to tilt your face even closer to his. To his astonishment, you did not resist. He pulled you in closer, grabbing you bottom lip with his mouth, still laced with your taste. You tasted so sweet, and you were so wet for him, just him. He always joked about Jin being your ‘boyfriend’ but deep down he hoped nothing real went on between the two of you.

A curse rushed to his mind when he realized he had fucked up everything, why did he have to place that fucking bet? It was stupid and immature of him and he did it while being drunk. He hated the fact that you chose to go to Hashfield college, a place you both hated ever since you were kids. He was so disappointed in you, you were nothing like the insiders, you were so much more than them, why couldn’t you get that? He was so angry… all he’d talked about with his friends was you that night.

“Aren’t you a little too interested in the new girl? Why do you care anyway?” Jungkook had scoffed

“My guess is she’s going to drop out within the first month, no outsider lasts inside the wall for longer than that” Jimin had laughed as if he had cracked the funniest joke ever in his fucking life.

“Nahhh she has prince Zed, haven’t you seen the way that bitch swoons all over her? He is so hungry for outsider pussy man, I’m telling you” Jungkook had chuckled

Their words had infuriated Taehyung’s ego. You, with an insider like freaking Zed? Impossible to imagine. He knew you’d know better than that. “There’s no way she lets Zed out of the friend zone” he’d downed a drink while he said that

“Oh and you think you have a chance big boy? Everyone knows she hates your guts.” Jimin flashed a smile to Jungkook “And not without a reason”

“Please, she’d choose me over Zed anytime”

“Alright then big man, how much do you bet?” Jungkook’s suggestion had startled Taehyung

“Bet?” Taehyung had repeated Jungkook’s words almost flustered.

“If you’re so damn confident about it, why don’t you bet with us? I bet y/n is going to hook up with Zed any day now.” Jungkook had sounded cocky and even though he was Taehyung’s long time friend he’d really felt the urge to punch him in the face at that moment.

“1k that I’ll make her beg my name before Zed gets a chance to even breath towards her direction”

“Alright then, the bet is on” Jimin marveled

God, what was he thinking? How could he place a bet on something like this? He felt guilty. The mere thought of you ever finding out about it scared the shit out of him. He didn’t do all of this because of that fucking bet, he did it because every part of him ached for you. When you’d called him ‘Tae’, he thought his heart stopped working.

Taehyung didn’t want to worry himself with his thoughts anymore, he could do that at home, alone. Right now he just wanted to enjoy this moment with you, your fingers intertwined with his, your head resting on his shoulder, him praying you couldn’t hear how loud his heart was pounding. He never thought he’d have you like this.