Just A Lonely Teenager

Run to me. In the ocean wading, waiting for you. Be brutal like the crows, like the vultures, you tear me apart. Come in calm like the hail, dent my heart. I will forgive this, I will move on. But don't forget me. I'll never get gone. Chase me like wind, wanting furiously to touch me, taste me, graze me, chase me. Go on and tell them. Let them in until there's no room left, take it all for yourself like the air in my chest.  Pick at my bones until I'm fragments of memory, take me down til I'm nothing left but ribs. No you can't hurt me if I want to go. I'll live on somehow. I know you'll remember me.

Maybe if I let you touch me, you'll love me. Or maybe I've got it wrong. So maybe it starts with the loving and ends with the touching and the fire that lets us burn on, is always giving in. Kerosene drenched so we never die out. Unless maybe I want you more than I should. What if you don't wanna be loved. So touch me and leave me lonely if you must, it's never love and always lust. Me and you in a room is a blaze and I'll always get stuck. Oh, you will not burn me out, I need you now. I need you forever.

How do you get over someone you loved more than anything in the world? How do you just... let go? Everyone says you need to let go, but I don't know how. I've spent so long holding on, and I don't know how I'm supposed to let go of him and my love for him and the way things were between us and the future we should have had together. A part of me doesn't even want to let go, because that part of me is still waiting for him to come back around. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.

I was made to understand things before my time. I recognized a glance at age 4, in the way that I do now at 20. One that I should never have been able to decipher so young. Children shouldn't be exposed to certain things before they are ready to, much like a seed being flooded by too much water before it can grow roots. I understood touch in my young years, in ways that some people never know. A look turns to a touch and then a fist, and it turns rotten, and skin turns blue. Then there is guilt and the shame and the sadness and the pain, it dwells there a while, but eventually subsides. Here I am, 16 years later, understanding now, that there were things I should have never known, but it's okay to have that knowledge because from it I can grow.

All asks/messages will be replied to tomorrow!

You don't have to teach me that leaving is easy, because baby I've known. No need to scare me because I've been afraid all my life of being alone. If you threaten to go, I won't flinch, I've always been on my own.

Baby, don't leave me so lonely. Don't carve me up like you never loved me. I swore I'd love you until my very last breath, please don't end this right here. We have so much more left to do. I wished on every evening star that you'd never turn around and say that you're leaving, that you love me no more. But here we are, me begging and pleading, and you, not caring and leaving.

you've been helping me a lot with all of your answers! please never stop posting. i love you ✨💛💛✨✨ thank you

How do you know if your crush likes you? With mine we’re friends and I’ve seen signs that he might but idk. In class I would often catch him looking at me or in my direction, he would do things like give up his chair for me, hold the door, randomly come up and talk to me, sit by me, joke around with me, and be very gentlemanlike whereas he’s more loud and joking with friends. But when his friends and I were around he would get loud again, but not with just me. Am I just misinterpreting things?