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Philosophical: Richard Montwill. Yes, he can be of questionable character at times, but as far as I’ve found he is wise and has never led me in a wrong direction.

Scientific: Carolyn Jons. The girl won 3rd in research at the fucking international science fair as a 14 year old and still takes the time to explain my chemistry homework to me. Pretty sure she’s qualified.

Mathematic: Riley McGlasson. If she can’t solve it(which is doubtful in and of itself), she will keep trying until she gets it right. Damn, do I admire that girl’s resolve. 

Literary Analysis: Kerri Miller. I begin each morning listening to her on the radio, and she’s met some of the most prolific authors out there. I’d do (almost) anything to chat with her about literature. 

Random Trivia: Watson, that robot from Jeoprady? 

People Problems: Madi Lang. She’s dealt with her fair share of bullshit, and always knows how to (lovingly) tell me to get my head out of my ass. What more can I say? 

Relationship Advice: Dr. Phil. Just kidding. Probably Cosmopolitan. Unless you, dear reader, can tell me why I’m still single?