Clarence the Unicorn🦄

Lucifer

Chloe

Maze

Amenadiel

Linda

Eve

Dan

Ella

Trixie

Malcolm

Lucifer, talking about Chloe

Lucifer, after every session with Linda

Everyone @ Lucifer

if that works, at what point would that start working ? would platform heels suffice ?? this is an important question. crowley walking into the church wearing these

you would assume it works because of the way reality forgets itself around him and aziraphale but you’d be wrong. he honestly is just that good at walking in fourteen-inch heels.

winter soldier: of course

——————

winter soldier: you should eat more. your serum would’ve affected your metabolism so if my calculations are correct, you ought to be eating at least twice the average human being.

steve, spilling his coffee: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE

——————

steve, about to sleep: (:

winter soldier: it’s supposed to get super chilly around 2am so you should probably wrap up warm. here are some extra blankets

steve, startled: WERE YOU UNDER MY BED THIS WHOLE TIME

——————

steve, in a battle: dang i’m bleeding who shot me

winter soldier: here let me clean the wound and i’ve got a bandage right here just sit still don’t worry but when you’re done fighting you should probably get this looked at i know your serum heals you quicker but there might be something stuck in it and you don’t want your skin to grow over anything inside

steve, crying: who are you why are you following me

winter soldier: please be careful and make sure you get home safely

——————

steve, at peggy’s funeral: i can’t believe she’s gone

winter soldier, from behind: everything’s gonna be alright. she lived a long and fulfilling life. she loved you so much and she’d want you to carry on making a change in the world.

——————

pierce: soldat, mission report

winter soldier: mission is going well. captain rogers is eating more regularly, taking more care in battles, his exercise routine is no longer unhealthy. he is still grieving agent carter, but i believe he’ll be okay. last night he let me tuck him in-

steve after a few weeks of this: “oh yeah, everyone, this is my emotional support assassin gremlin, he lives under my bed and follows me around, still haven’t figured out where he came from but he’s surprisingly good at making hot cocoa”

Tony: Y-…. That was BAD…. you….

Morgan: :(

Tony, immediately breaking down into tears: ohmygod I did not Mean That even slightly Morgan you are perfect that drawing is beautiful I am going to render it permanently onto my suit I love you so much it’s okay you have never done a thing wrong in your entire life and you never will

TOny: Okay baby. Gimme her.

Tony: …

Morgan: :)

Morgan: *crying for no reason as all babies do* 

Tony: Stop crying or I’m selling you to the CIA.

Morgan: *does not stop crying*

Tony: HONEY, WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR THE CIA BABY SALES LINE

***

Morgan: *innocently drinking from a bottle*

Tony: Look if you keep doing nothing but eating and sleeping we’re going to have to have a conversation about you paying rent. 

***

Morgan: *says first word* Mama.

Tony: You are disowned. Here’s your bindle. Go make your way in the world.

***

Pepper: Tony, she’s being fussy, can you take her?

Tony: *holding Morgan comically ineptly while still managing to support her comfortably* We’ve had this discussion. How is Mama supposed to see to my every need if you keep acting like this?  

Morgan: *burps*

you smell like stinky cheese and your blog is mediocre at best.

you smell like stinky cheese and your blog is mediocre at best.

Me to Netflix: