Sure, relationships typically start with a honeymoon phase that then grows into something deeper but a bit more mellow if things work out, but itās depressing as fuck that this has turned into a really, really common script for straight relationships that says itās totally normal and inevitable for dudes to just become more and more emotionally checked out of the relationship, and leave it to their girlfriend/wife to perform if she wants to get even a crumb of affection from him. Iām so fucking tired of seeing women constantly being taught that decades of emotional neglect is just our lot in life.
what āgetting out of the honeymoon phaseā should mean: you arenāt joined at the hip anymore and can spend time apart, but you still greatly enjoy eachotherās company and deliberately make time to be together. youāre not just a unit, youāre a matched set (like, youāre susan and bob rather than susanandbob). you start to see eachotherās flaws and donāt put eachother on a pedestal but instead love eachother as human beings, flaws and all.
what it should NOT mean: you barely talk anymore. you feel like two completely different people, tied together by a frayed thread. youāre annoyed by eachotherās flaws and donāt like to be around eachother
similarly:Ā ārelationships are hard, they take a lot of workā means that cooperation on a daily basis in both the practical and emotional realms takes conscious effort. you canāt coast on those honeymoon feelings forever, and you arenāt psychic, so you have to pay attention and communicate so you can honor each otherās wants and needs.
it should notĀ mean that youāre fighting every two days or walking on eggshells to avoid the anger of an unreasonable partner or breaking your back trying to get the slightest sign of affection or respect from someone whoās checked out and doesnāt care about you.
This is so, so important. Dont keep investing in a relationship thats not giving back. You deserve to be heard, you deserve at the very least communication.
