idfk.

so embarrassing to watch yourself become obsessed with a character that feels tailor made for you specifically to become obsessed with. feels like i fell into a trap made just for me. like damn they got me. those are all the things i like and go crazy for

final mental illness musing of the night but as you all know, i’ve suffered from an extremely severe case of depression since i was a toddler. and one of the most infuriating things about growing up this way was how many adults seem to just not understand that children can be depressed. sure, you may associate depression with teen years, but there are plenty of kids 12 and under who are deeply, deeply depressed and it’s just completely overlooked. When I talk about how early my suicidal behaviors started, people go ‘wow! i had no idea that it could start so young?’ but i have several friends who were also depressed as kids and i don’t think it’s that uncommon. i mean, bullying is frequent in children’s lives and yet you don’t think an 8 year old can get suicidal? It all goes back to people not seeing children as people, of course. Considering them not capable of complex emotions. I just feel for all the kids who go untreated because their parents haven’t stopped to think if theres a reason why their kid spends all their time in their room.

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god