AnotherLazyTeen

This is the prologue to a story I'm writing. It's very rough and definitely needs refining. I just want some feed back. Thank you. The cold was the first thing she noticed. It was freezing. Much colder than she ever felt before, than she ever felt it was possible to be. She felt it throughout her entire body. A feeling as though her blood would surely freeze in her veins. She pulled her knees to her body in a desperate attempt to trap any warmth she still had. That was the second thing she noticed; she was floating. Not in mid air as though she were on some sort of magic carpet, but suspended under water. Was it water? A sudden panic overtook her at the thought of being completely submerged in the murky depths around her. She gasped for a breath. Memories of a younger her came flooding back. She had gone to the beach and had swum to far from the Shaw. Her little arms could no longer keep her afloat and she had begun to sink. Her father had been there to help her that day. Where was he now? But just as soon as the panic had set in, it had gone. She was breathing fine. The liquid lapped at her body but she did not feel wet. What was this? It was dark and yet seemed to shine in a nonexistent light. She could hardly see a thing through it. The not-water flowed passed her reminding her of the racing rapids a river. Yet the current did not take her with it. And it was ice cold. She stayed there surveying the black canvas around her, them she heard the whispers. Though she could not tell where these whispers were coming from. The words were faint and it was hard to isolate one hushed voice from another. She listened hard. “not...fault...struggles...please” A woman’s worried voice, seemingly pleading for something. Though the words were disjointed and she could not pick up on the whole sentence. She listened again. “venire...bambino...quello che” A different voice, this time in a language she didn’t understand. She continued to listen willing her teeth not to chatter so that she could concentrate on the ghostly voices around her. She heard many voices in many different dialects. Some she recognised, most she did not. But she couldn’t pick up the whole sentence. Only the occasional word was audible and she still did not know where these voices were coming from. “carim...du...nove...balishno...tisum”. It was as if the not-water itself were speaking to her. “HEMRA TI...VALGARAV...BULTRE!” She flinched away from the invisible words. The treat seemed to flow past her ear in the depths. She did not know what it meant. But she knew it was a treat. She could feel in the harsh words that sounded as though they were forcefully ejected from their owner’s throat. It frightened her. She wanted to leave. There was something about that voice. She never wanted to hear it again. It sent coldness through her heart, far worse than that of the arctic pool around her. “Arelle”. This voice was much clearer and it seemed to come from above her. It was a voice she recognised and it was calling her name. “Arelle” her mother called once more. She swam up towards the sound. Away from the whispers towards the only one that mattered. “Arelle!” she called. A little louder this time. And Arelle finally woke up.