[ elleboheme ]

Today I realised that I need to face my fears. That I overcompensate when meeting people. That I need periodical stages of withdrawal, that I needed to know myself. The moment that I decided that no matter what, whether with support or not I will continue to realize my dreams and do the things that I have set in my heart to do nothing else can stop me. That I need to work hard and really write. That I become a writer, an artist and a therapist. I have decided to work as a freelance media person and probably become a public figure. I want to be able to counsel people. More importantly I want to be expressive to the best of my abilities. I want to remain the person that I was and yet grow. I want to write stories, and sing and create. I will do just that and I will be that person I can be proud of. I will write books and sing songs and take pics and make stuff. This is the real me, I will think and write and overthink. I will always be true to myself. God has a greater plan for me, admittedly I feel sad because I have always strived to work in ministry but nothing ever comes to it, I always mess up. And I feel so out of place, I always feel out of place. But this displacement, even if others don't get to know me well, I will get to know myself. And this is a good concession to me.

God I know you have made me who I am and that you will never leave me nor forsake me that you have always planned something for me. Something that will give me my wings. God I pray that You will be the one who brings me to a place of promotion keep me under the shadow of your wings, let me live in the land that You have called me to be. God as I withdraw I pray that You bring people in my life who will support me and help me and not just be someone I know.

I know the words my heart sings out to me I know the lies I believed

Slowly burning the chains that bind me.

There was a little girl and she had a sad little song and when she forgot the words she disappeared.