meet me in the town

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

gonna be real i thought this was just about normal microwaves

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

GIVE OPENCLAW ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EMAIL AND MEDICAL RECORDS NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FEED YOUR ENTIRE BROWSER CACHE NAD PASSWORD KEY STORE INTO OPE NCLAW

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

It's summer BBQ time and I am once again experiencing the medieval joy of Putting Some Shit Over A Fire

i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.

there's something so perverse about phones automatically capitalizing brands. don't make me put respect on youtube's name.