Aleksis Kaidonovsky

Cherno Alpha

An ode to those adorable Kaidonovskys.

And silly Russian wedding photography.

Well I never really thought that you’d come tonight

When the crown hangs heavy on either side

‘  when i was a kid, whenever i’d feel small or lonely, i’d look up at the stars. wondered if there was life up there.  ‘

‘  tens of thousands of lives were lost.  ‘

‘  this was just the beginning.  ‘

‘  to fight monsters, we created monsters of our own.  ‘

‘  we got really good at it. winning.  ‘

‘  hey, kid. don’t get cocky.  ‘

‘  please, after you. age before beauty.  ‘

‘  you know what i’m thinking.  ‘

‘  worry about yourself, kiddo!  ‘

‘  ___, listen to me!  ‘

‘  suits and ties, flashy smiles. that’s all they are.  ‘

‘  bad news: three guys died yesterday.  ‘

‘  well, orders are orders. what else am i supposed to do?  ‘

‘  took me a while to find you.  ‘

‘  i can’t have anyone else in my head again. i’m done.  ‘

‘  haven’t you heard? the world is coming to an end.  ‘

‘  so where would you rather die? here, or ____?  ‘

‘  oh, no, call me ___. only my mother calls me doctor.  ‘

‘  he was 2,500 tons of awesome. or awful. you know, whatever you wanna call it.  ‘

‘  shut up. i don’t love them, okay? i study them.  ‘

‘  things have changed. we’re not an army anymore, we’re the resistance.  ‘

‘  i didn’t know it was this bad.  ‘

‘  sorry about your brother.  ‘

‘  you haven’t told me what i’m doing here yet.  ‘

‘  numbers do not lie. politics and poetry, promises, these are lies. numbers are as close as we get to the handwriting of god.  ‘

‘  politics and poetry, promises, these are lies.  ‘

‘  and this… is the point where he goes completely crazy.  ‘

‘  fortune favors the brave, dude.  ‘

‘  they won’t give you the equipment, and even if they did, you’d kill yourself.  ‘

‘  she’s one of a kind now.  ‘

‘  i think you’re unpredictable.  ‘

‘  you take risks that endanger yourself and your crew. i don’t think you’re the right man for this mission.  ‘

‘  wow. thank you for your honesty.  ‘

‘  one day, you’re gonna see that in combat you make decisions. and you have to live with the consequences.  ‘

‘  you promised me.  ‘

‘  vengeance is like an open wound.  ‘

‘  to me, you’re dead weight. you slow me down, i’m gonna drop you like a sack of shit.  ‘

‘  i’ve raised him on my own. he’s a smart kid, but i never knew whether to give him a hug or a kick in the ass.  ‘

‘  it’s a dialogue, not a fight.  ‘

‘  better watch it.  ‘

‘  i’m not crazy. you felt it, right?  ‘

‘  this is worth fighting for.  ‘

‘  if you’re listening to this, well, i’m either alive and i’ve proven what i’ve just done works, in which case, ha ha, i won. or i’m dead and i’d like you to know that it’s all your fault. it really is, you know, you drove me to this. in which case, ha, i also won. sort of.  ‘

‘  are you gonna say anything?  ‘

‘  you look good.  ‘

‘  like when you blink your eyes over and over and over again and all you really see are like, frames. it was emotion.  ‘

‘  i’m okay. just let me control it.  ‘

‘  you are a goddamn disgrace. you’re gonna get us all killed.  ‘

‘  why don’t you just do us all a favor and disappear? it’s the only thing you’re good at.  ‘

‘  so, what, you’re grounding us?  ‘

‘  one: don’t you ever touch me again. two: don’t you ever touch me again.  ‘

‘  now, you have no idea who the hell i am or where i’ve come from, and i’m not about to tell you my whole life story.  ‘

‘  you know, you live in someone else’s head for so long… the hardest part to deal with is the silence.  ‘

‘  well, that’s classified. so i couldn’t tell you. even if i wanted to. but it is pretty cool, so i might tell you. i’m gonna tell you.  ‘

‘  jesus, we can’t just sit here and watch them die.  ‘

‘  let me in, i’m a doctor!  ‘

‘  we have a choice here. we either sit and wait, or we take these flare guns and do something really stupid.  ‘

‘  as harsh as it sounds, there is no time to celebrate. we lost people. no time to grieve.  ‘

‘  how sick are you? and why didn’t you tell me?  ‘

‘  i haven’t exactly had a very good day, okay?  ‘

‘  we’re gonna own this bad boy!  ‘

‘  by jove, we are going to own this thing for sure!  ‘

‘  today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other.  ‘

‘  today we are canceling the apocalypse!  ‘

‘  as for you, well, you’re easy. you’re an egotistical jerk with daddy issues. a simple puzzle i solved on day one.  ‘

‘  i just don’t want to regret all the things that i never said out loud.  ‘

‘  well, my father always said, if you have the shot, you take it. so let’s do this.  ‘

‘  all i have to do is fall. anyone can fall.  ‘

‘  i can’t find his pulse. i don’t think he’s breathing.  ‘

‘  no. don’t go. please.  ‘

‘  you’re squeezing me too tight. i couldn’t breathe.  ‘