A follower sent me a link to this article from 2013 about the science of arousal during rape, and I think itâs well worth revisiting and discussing. I still hear a lot of misconceptions about what rape is - and even worse, subjective judgments on why something is or isnât considered rape. And one of the biggest taboos, which I incorporate frequently in my captions, is arousal or orgasm during rape. Â Iâve highlighted some key paragraphs below.
Of those who report their rapes, around 4â5% also describe experiencing orgasm. But the true numbers are likely much higher. In a 2004 review paper, a clinician reports, âI (have) met quite a lot of victims (males) who had the full sexual response during sexual abuseâŚI (have) met several female victims of incest and rape who had lubrication and orgasm.â
As part of prisoner-of-war training, male soldiers are told that it is possible and even likely for the enemy to rape you as a weapon of war and demoralization. We are warned that getting an erection while being raped is common and that it doesnât mean youâre enjoying it or aroused by it. Having an orgasm is also common due to of prostate stimulation. We are mentally prepared for this, and they institutionally try to take the shame and stigma out of it before it happens by making it clinical and physiological.
But when a woman gets wet during rape or cums from it, they are made to feel like dirty whores who âwanted itâ and âenjoyed itâ. There is already so much shame and condemnation associated with female enjoyment of sex outside of the context of assault that even the hint of it in association with rape dwarfs all other factors - including the fact that the woman was forced into sex against her will, one of if not the greatest personal violation possible.
I wonât get into the culture of the views on arousal and orgasm in men versus women. Thatâs a whole other rant. But the same idea is true for both men and women: physical arousal (erection in men, lubrication in women) and orgasm are biological functions that are not always derived from sexual excitement.
âIâve assisted more young women than I can count with this very issueâŚThere have been very few studies on orgasm during rape, but the research so far shows numbers from 10% to over 50% having this experience. In my experience as a therapist, it has been somewhat less than half of the girls/women Iâve worked with.â
It takes a crude sort of reasoning devoid of rational analysis to arrive at the following conclusion: when women are sexually aroused, they become wet; when womenâs sexual arousal builds up, it culminates on orgasm; therefore, wetness and orgasm are indicators of high levels of sexual arousal, even or especially during rape. Â Therefore a woman who orgasms during rape derived sexual pleasure and satisfaction from it (and some go on to argue that this constitutes a form of consent).
Anyone with the most basic understanding of logic can see the flaw in this immediately. Â Just because sexual (or mental) arousal can lead to wetness and orgasm does not mean the inverse: that wetness and orgasm are evidence of sexual arousal. Â It is one of the first principles of logical reasoning we learn as children. Â So how can it be that this is still a widely-held belief?
Our bodies respond to sex. And our bodies respond to fear. Our bodies respond. They do so uniquely and often entirely without our permission or intention. Orgasm during rape isnât an example of an expression of pleasure. Itâs an example of a physical response whether the mindâs on board or not, like breathing, sweating, or an adrenaline rush. Â Therapists commonly use the analogy of tickling. While tickling can be pleasurable, when it is done against someoneâs wishes it can be very unpleasant experience. And during that unpleasant experience, amid calls to stop, the one being tickled will continue laughing. They just canât help it.
Arousal and orgasm are physical functions that can be completely divorced from sexual or mental engagement. Â A woman can be made wet, or even brought to orgasm, while not mentally present - for example, while unconscious. Â They are reactions to stimulus, governed by the autonomous nervous system, not conscious thought and intent.
Anyone who tries to argue that a woman getting wet or experiencing orgasm from rape is a sign that she is enjoying it is either wholly ignorant of sexual bodily processes or possesses some sinister intent. Â I believe most of them fall into the former category. Â But this is not an issue that is subjective. Â You cannot simply reject science that doesnât agree with your preconceptions. Â This is the way our bodies work.
And the most important piece of it all:
Rape survivors who experience arousal and rape report confusion and shame thanks to this conflation of the physical response of arousal and its usual association with enjoyment. A survivor may ask, âWas this something I subconsciously wanted? Am I in some way guilty? If my body responded this way, does it mean Iâm mentally disturbed?â The reality is that the bodyâs arousal response is no more an indication of guilt or mental illness than an elevated heart rate or adrenaline flood would be under the same circumstances.
If you are a rape survivor, male or female, who has asked or even is still asking these questions, the answer is that your body reacts independent of your mind. Â Arousal and orgasm are not indicators of enjoyment or consent. Â They are physical processes outside of your control set in motion by external stimuli. Â I know that logic and rationality do not easily resolve traumatic experiences and the strong emotional reactions that follow, but it can hopefully at least be the starting point of a fruitful healing process.
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