Aurora Australis

murderbot in its head: i am a cold, heartless security unit. i literally do not care about these fragile, stupid humans. i wish they would stop talking to me. i just want to sit in my cubicle, ignore my duties, and watch my space soap operas in absolute silence. humans are messy and annoying.

murderbot in reality: [immediately throws its heavy armored metallic body in front of a deadly plasma blast, gets its limbs blown off, hacks three enemy gunships simultaneously, and bleeds corporate artificial fluids just to make sure its human clients don’t get a single scratch]

the humans afterward: "oh my god, thank you so much, you saved our lives, we care about you—"

murderbot: [internally screaming in absolute horror because someone is trying to make emotional eye contact and have a heartfelt conversation] "please stop looking at me, i am going to pretend my system is shutting down now."

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

suicide baiting (often machine translated into other languages)

asking you to mail them your work with a promise of payment

As always, please be cautious if something in the comments seems untrue or strange, and follow internet safety best practices.

I live in a very flammable part of the world and last 4th of July, I had to resort to both Psychological and Chemical Warfare to keep the local morons from setting the neighborhood ablaze.