Okay, so once there was this triangular lake, right? And on each side there was a kingdom. The first kingdom was the biggest and the best. They had all the land, all the money, all the power, everything. The second kingdom was the definition of middle class. They had enough to get by and a little more, but they’re nothing like the first kingdom. The third kingdom is on its way out, and the people know it. They’ve got almost no land, no money, and basically it’s on its last legs.
One day these kingdoms realize that there’s something important in the lake and they all want it, so they decide to go to war for control of the lake. The first kingdom sends 10,000 of their finest knights, each with fine armor and a horse and a personal squire or like five or six. The second kingdom sends a thousand knights. They all have armor, but not all had horses, it kinda depended on the knight. The third kingdom pulls their only knight out of retirement, gives him a donkey, some supplies, a squire, and tells him to go fight.
So now it’s the night before the big battle. The knights from the first kingdom know that they’ve got this in the bag, there was never any contest. So they’re all partying it up, they’ve got games and drinking and god knows what else. The knights from the second kingdom know that they’re going to lose, so they said “well, let’s live it up!” and had a party. It’s much more subdued, but there’s still a lot of drinking and general camaraderie.
The old knight and the squire just decided to eat dinner and call an early night. The squire goes to make dinner in this big soup kettle that they were given, but there’s no stand to put it up on. So the squire gets a length of rope, ties it in a noose around the rim of the cooking pot, finds a tree, and hangs the pot from a branch over the fire, and hey presto! Dinner. Then they settle in and try to ignore the noise from the other two camps.
Now it’s the day of the big battle. The knights from the first two kingdoms are too hungover to fight; they aren’t doing shit today. The knight from the third kingdom was so old that he actually passed away in the night, so now it’s just the squires left. They all decide to do this thing anyways, and they fight.
At the end of the day, there’s only one squire left standing.
The squire from the third kingdom.
Which just goes to show you, the squire of the high pot and noose is greater than or equal to the squires of the other two sides.
((this is the first time i typed out my telling of this joke and oh my god it’s so much longer than i thought. enjoy it!))
jbbartram-illu
2087
baratheonpilled
dededos
