hi, I go by jess on the web, prefer lumi as a nickname. your friendly (people pleaser) neighborhood escapist, just another troubled teenager living through the horrors
decided to end my lurking and make a multifandom blog on a random tuesday. times are scary so my pessimistic tendencies made me want to participate in what I feel may be the late stage of www as we once knew and loved. (with genAI ruining every space both digital and physical on earth, dead internet theory has never looked more real)
we're so fucked that we've reached the point where caring about basic human rights makes you radical. alr then I'll gladly own up to the name <3 TERFS KYS
but enough of the impending doom, haha... here's a little about me
(you'll see that I love overusing parentheses at every given opportunity)
꩜ ≤ 18
꩜ alienation final boss
꩜ nonbinary demigirl on the aroace spectrum (labels aren't a necessity but I enjoy toying with them: omni idemro aego to be specific. here's my pronouns page)
꩜ anyone who takes zodiacs and other such seriously in the big year of [insert today's date] should honestly reevaluate. with that said, hate that I just happen to be the sappiest emotional ♋︎ which is totally because I'm a cancer and not that I have bord–
꩜ similarly, mbti is a corporate lie and I despise pseudoscience with burning passion but I'd gotten infj-t back in the day for funsies so do with that what you will
꩜ soon to be a third-world english major. secular eco-anarchist & (non-hierarchical) internationalist, exmuslim antitheist
꩜ wish I had enough dedication and motivation to indulge in my hobbies frequently. do I love any form of art? more than anything. do I make an active effort at practicing to better myself? well, uh. life gets in the way. (lamest excuse ever boo)
꩜ ⤷ executive dysfunction, my middle name
꩜ the lovechild of Halsey and Mitski. go ask them
꩜ spend an unearthly amount of time on playlists (since I'm almost always too lazy to start a project, I often opt for telling stories through them or make silly ones for fun) come check them out!
⤷ 🖇 jess no more gatekeeps on Spotify
꩜ tend to pick up hyperfixations for a while until I let them go into hibernation for however long and the cycle continues (pretty sure this is an old tumblr post that I'm referencing)
said fixations consist of but aren't limited to:
♯ nostalgia: MLP, MLB, MSP (the golden trio), Strawberry Shortcake, Phineas n Ferb, Mia and Me, Sonic, TAWOG, Monster High, LPS (my ultimate adulthood dream is to make a wide collection of every toy I couldn't buy as a kid), LiS (if there's one thing you should know about me it's that this franchise is my everything), DBH, TLoU, TS2-4, YanSim (I'm a veteran), MysMes, DDLC, Co09, Creepypasta (haven't touched the fandom with a 10 ft pole since 12 yo but it was peak internet culture), Pokemon, Captain Tsubasa (baby's first yaoi bffs-to-lovers anime), Gravity Falls, other kids media too many to list here, old but gold mobile games (especially horror ones like anyone remember Simulacra?)
♯ from covid till today, how the FUCK has it been 6 years: the whole anime pipeline except I wasn't in their fandoms at all for 2ish years (back in the day you got death threats for shipping bkdk), all yuri/yaoi content you could think of at the time, Ace Attorney, How to Get Away with Murder, Omori, TCoAaL, Voltron, LoL (for the... lore...), Genshin (not a player just storylines, wish it was a visual novel), Arcane (s2 ruined everything, doesn't exist in my books), Coffee Talk (my FAV cozy game ever ever ever I could talk hours about it), Marvel-DC (thanks to Stony, Spideypool, Harlivy, Batjokes), Shameless, Stranger Things (worst queerbait oat, I miss 2022), Hotel Transylvania (just the first movie cause younger me wanted Johnny and Drac to make out), Good Omens, Hannibal, Stardew (for the sole purpose of SamSeb), ALNST (did you know I'm Ivan himself?), Total Drama, Disventure Camp, MP100, unexpectedly Hazbin cause I had to cope with finishing Mob Psycho in two days and then spent the entire summer reading fix-it fics to a disaster indie project I didn't ever think of watching (don't support Viv neither as a person nor a creator), TADC, An Extremely Goofy Movie, Mouthwashing, Slay the Princess, House MD, The Good Place, South Park, UTDR (yep! I obviously have grown up familiar with it but I hadn't played them until recently. It had me break down in tears. Toby Fox saves lives y'all. o7 what a legend), The Freak Circus, No I'm Not a Human, The Pitt, Gachiakuta, NSO, PHM, Supernatural, Sharp Objects ...tbc
aside from a bunch of fandoms & interests, I may occasionally (or frequently atp) yap/rant about mental health, life, humanity, religion, the universe and all that good shower thought stuff. I may also not check my asks (I tend to forget stuff) or ignore some, so if you actually read this far, you've been warned!
DNI: sexists of any kind, gender essentialists, queerphobes, bigots, conservatives, terfs, ableists, capitalists, religion advocates, genAI users, animal abusers. you're not safe, you shouldn't feel safe here either. spreading any sort of harmful belief or practice isn't welcome. get out, educate yourself, seek help if possible.
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On tumblr, you can say "don't stick a fork in that electric outlet in the wall, getting electrocuted that way is really bad for you", and people will reply with "but what if I use a knife? Is that dangerous too or am I allowed to do that?" And another one is like "op is lying it's actually 100% safe fun and cute uwu" because they live in a house with the electricity cut off. A third one goes "oh my god I had no idea I've been risking my life every single time I poke a fork at the wall. I just like the way the wallpaper feels when I puncture it. No wonder mom yells at me every time I do it! D:"
And then it explodes into an argument concerning whether or not getting electrocuted is inherently, ontologically bad for you or not, because someone shared their story of how getting electroconvulsive therapy cured their depression and saved their life, and therefore OP is wrong for implying that going out of your way to get electrocuted is always wrong and bad in every situation.
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people saying my evil clone would be called greenstonedust but you have failed to consider that 'evil' and 'opposite' are not the same. we all have capacity for evil and thus my opposite self would not be evil, they would be as complex and flawed as i am, just in ways that contrast my own flaws. my EVIL clone would be called shadowkiller666dust the fallen angel of blogging. and they would be cool as fuccckkkkkkkk.
when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:
"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"
or
"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"
and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)
they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)
they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)
they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)
they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)
they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)
they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)
they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)
the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)
you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:
natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)
being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)
random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)
you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up
and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.
i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.
People in the notes being like "these are weaknesses of neurotypical people; my autism means I don't have these flaws": yes you do, and this post is about you specifically. People who believe that they're somehow magically immune to cognitive biases are the ones who tend to fall victim to them the hardest.
idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr
you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category
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some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming