the all mother

⊰ @eldeir , ♡ ⊱  he would not be the first to despise or disobey his creator. a feeling such as that can be recorded since the biblical age. to be made is to be cursed with life / to live life is to be cursed with hunger. blood was not the only source for his personal agony, but having to endure another day with himself. looking in the mirror became too painful. the creature staring back at him, with pale face and two black holes for eyes, was disgusting. how could god claim to love him and then allow him to be turned into this?

edward heard rumors of a place where newborns could learn control. seeing as carlisle's method was to shove the bitter taste of a doe or fox's blood down his throat, the people at this court of dreams couldn't do anything worse. ( at least he hoped not. ) he approaches, bouncing on his heels for a moment and shoving both hands into his pockets. there were no words in his vocabulary to describe how beautiful the palace was on the outside. edward had always been a fan of architecture. humanity has done many ugly things, but there are moments of creative clarity.

as she nears him she is able to pick up his gift for her own use and the turmoil of his mind nearly makes her double over in pain — the poor thing . valora calms her own mind , hoping that he can pick her voice out among the others . then , carlisle's name calls to her through the cacophony of the young one's thoughts . a huff of announce for the man she believes the name belongs to is just barely caught before it tumbles from her lips . valora met him once when she was forced to visit the volturi , to remind them of their place , and became privy to his views on their kind while borrowing aro's gift . to know that he changed the young man before her sours her thoughts .

Midsummer night’s dream by Sonya Sedova

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private    &    iconless  ,    twilight multi - muse  ,    an extremely divergent portrayal with some minor twilight lore , with eldritch horror ties. extremely anti s/meyer.   studying  themes  such  as :   blood - lust  , overcoming trauma ,  undying  devotion  ,  nature  versus  nurture  ,  found  family  ,  the  hero  complex   vs. embracing being a villain ,  survivor’s  guilt  , fighting your nature ,  broken  promises  ,   &   new  beginnings.

* tw for mentions of blood / drinking blood / death + murder .

Human. 

❝ that’s a lot of blood. ❞

❝ so you drink [human] blood ? ❞

❝ how long has it been since you fed ? ❞

❝ bite me. ❞

❝ you just bit me ! ❞

❝  i don’t believe in vampires. ❞

❝ i want to be your familiar. ❞ 

❝ can you turn in to a bat ? ❞

❝ you don’t have a reflection ! ❞

❝ so do you sleep in a coffin ? ❞

❝ you’re gonna need a bigger coffin. ❞

❝ so, how old are you really ? ❞

❝ your skin’s always so cold. ❞

❝ if you need to feed, you can bite me. ❞

❝ you can bite me, i trust you. ❞ 

❝ what does it taste like ? / what do i taste like ? ❞

❝ you’re [not] a monster. ❞

Vampire.

❝ drink this, you’ll feel better. ❞

❝ i’m [not] a monster. ❞

❝ i haven’t fed in awhile. ❞

❝ it’s dangerous for you to be here when i’m like this. ❞

❝ i want you to be my familiar. ❞

❝ forget what you think you know, vampires exist. ❞

❝ no, that’s a myth. ❞

❝ i’m not going to eat you. ❞

❝ you call it a myth, i call it a bad stereotype. ❞

❝ your taste so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞

❝ your blood smells so sweet / bitter / good / bad. ❞ 

❝ it’s been awhile since i tasted fresh blood. ❞

❝ you’re so warm. / i forgot how warm living is. ❞

❝ you have to invite me in. ❞

❝ i think i just killed someone. ❞

❝ honestly ? i’m terrified i’m going to have to spend eternity alone. ❞

Actions.   ( add a + to reverse the action ! )

[ BITE. ]  the sender bites receiver on the ( neck / wrist / thigh / bodypart ) to drink their blood.

[ TURN. ]  the sender turns the receiver into a vampire.

[ BLOODLUST ]  the sender has gone too long without feeding, base instincts taking over, the receiver finds them. 

[ COFFIN. ]  the sender stumbles upon the receiver sleeping in a coffin. 

[ STAKE. ]  after finding out the receiver is a vampire, the sender tries to stake them. 

[ MIRROR. ]  when passing a mirror, the receiver notices the sender does not have a reflection. 

[ OFFER. ]  after noticing the receiver hasn’t fed in a few days / weeks, the sender offers to let the receiver feed from them.

[ MESS. ]  the sender finds the receiver covered in blood that certainly isn’t their own.

people think that intimacy is about sex. but intimacy is about truth.

never let anyone make you feel ordinary.

i’m under absolutely no obligation to make sense to you.

don’t ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box.

don’t do that.

it’s always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one.

sometimes reality comes crashing down on you.

heartbreak is a loss. divorce is a piece of paper.

when you’re given an opportunity to change your life, be ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

the world doesn’t give things, you take things.

you have to find a job that makes your heart feel big instead of one that makes it feel small.

please never forget that the sun rises and sets with your smile.

you’re the only thing on this planet worth worshipping.

be wary of men with something to prove.

the cruelest thing you can do to someone you love, give them just enough good to make them stick through a hell of a lot of bad.

you wonder what it must be like to be a man, to be so confident that the final say is yours.

i think you’re brilliant.

i think you’re tough.

do yourself a favor and learn to grab life by the balls.

don’t be so tied up in trying to do the right thing when the smart thing is so painfully clear.

you can be sorry about something and not regret it

the world respects people who think they should be running it.

if i want things to change, i have to change how i do things. and probably drastically.

people are messy, and love can be ugly.

i’m inclined to always err on the side of compassion.

you can’t tell a single thing about a person’s true character if you both want the same thing.

no one is just a victim or a victor. everyone is somewhere in between.

just go knowing you were loved, that i will never forget you.

you were my best friend.

nobody deserves anything. it’s simply a matter of who’s willing to go and take it for themselves.

why have i spent so long settling for less when i know damn well the world expects more?

taking pride in your beauty is a damning act.

forgiveness is different from absolution.

sometimes divorce isn’t an earth-shattering loss. sometimes it’s just two people waking up out of a fog.

if there are all different types of soul mates, then you are one of mine.

i am absolutely positive that i need you more than i’ve ever needed another living soul.

i loved you so much that i thought you were the meaning of my life.

i thought that people were put on earth to find other people, and i was put here to find you.

i don’t want to be meant for someone like you.

that’s the part i was stuck in, the part where you accept the apology because it’s easier than addressing the root of the problem.

it will be the tragedy of my life that i cannot love you enough to make you mine.

it’s a hard business, reconciling what the truth used to be with what the truth is now.

you’re an idealist and a romantic, and you have a beautiful soul.

i wish the world was ready to be the way you see it.

i wish that the rest of the people on earth with us were capable of living up to your expectations. but they aren’t.

the world is ugly, and no one wants to give anyone the benefit of the doubt about anything.

i love you too much to let you live only for me.

i’m cynical and i’m bossy, and most people would consider me vaguely immoral.

i spent half my time loving her and the other half hiding how much i loved her.

it shouldn’t be wrong, to love you. how can it be wrong?

i think being yourself—your true, entire self—is always going to feel like you’re swimming upstream.

you could be a nobody living in a cardboard box, and i’d still love you.

i simply didn’t care. it cost so much, caring. i didn’t have any currency to spend on it.

some marriages aren’t really that great. some loves aren’t all-encompassing.

the media are going to tell whatever story they want to tell. they always have. they always will.

charisma is charm that inspires devotion.

you’re not really famous if anybody still likes you.

you should know this about the rich: they always want to get richer. it is never boring, getting your hands on more money.

the truth is, praise is just like an addiction. the more you get it, the more of it you need just to stay even.

you have to push people’s boundaries and not feel bad about it. no one is going to give you anything if you don’t ask for it.

when you’ve been bested, sometimes it’s good to recognize it and move on.

no one goes around throwing caution to the wind unless the wind is blowing their way.

the easiest lie to tell is one you know the other person desperately wants to be true.

pictures speak very loudly. in general, we can almost never shake what we see with our eyes.

we all can’t go around treating people like dog shit and then expecting that a simple i’m sorry erases it.

guilt is a feeling i’ve never made much peace with. i find that when it rears its head, it brings an army.

when i feel guilty for one thing, i start to see all the other things i should feel guilty for.